Depressed, and upset ..boyfriend broke up with me and I think his mother was the reason

[Anonymous]

I have been dating an amazing man for over a year, things were going well ...he had even mentioned seeing us long term, getting married and all.
Suddenly out of no where he started distancing himself, one missed call turned into him not acting like his normal self and then the truth came out.

I think the reason he broke up with my was due to his mother.
My boyfriend grew up in a stable home, with loving parents-straight laced.
He is successful and his parents are proud and then here I am.

I didn't go to college because I didn't think it was something I could afford. I was in a relationship that didn't last but ended up pregnant.
My life has not been easy. Being a single mom, working like a dog just to provide a roof over our heads.

My boyfriend was this amazing person who didn't judge me, and took care of us while we were together.
Then I met his parents and his mom was not as interested in getting to know me, she was fake.
His dad was genuine. She had asked if I had planned to go to college, and asked if I had any aspirations, she just kept making things about success.

His parents are both successful, and so I didn't feel like I'd fit in. While his mom was nice and meeting them was not as bad as I thought, I just felt she judged me silently. His father never struck me as fake like she did. just my feeling.

When breaking up, he made it a point to say he thought while there would be a future in another life, for now he needed time to himself and to reflect on somethings.
He said he had a lot of think about and while he loves us (daughter and me) he said he isn't sure we're compatible. My lack of success was never a problem until his mother started
meddling. He has always had a close relationship with them, especially his mom. She made something of herself when she came from nothing, so he has told me.

I just feel like she judged me for being a single poor mom. Like I said, I choose not to go to college, but college isn't for everyone.

I just want my daughter to have an amazing father figure and not worry about anything, and I thought he was the one.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP.

Whatever the reason, ultimately it is his decision, not anyone else's. If he's not ready to run interference between his mother and you for the rest of his life, perhaps it's for the best. DCUM is full of women who cannot stand their mother-in-laws and who have husbands who cannot adequately bridge the gap.

[Anonymous]

My BIL has a baby mama and his girlfriend broke up with him because her father would have nothing to do with it.

Move on.

[Anonymous]

It’s understandable, OP. If people are motivated, they go to college, etc. it’s the good thing about America. Some people see it as a compulsory thing. You don’t. You see it as something you do if someone gives you the opportunity, but otherwise not. Not if it’s going to be hard.

He comes from a different world with different ideas to you. You say you don’t want your DD to worry about anything. That mother doesn’t want her DS or future grandkids to worry about anything either. And part of that is marrying someone with the same ideas about life. (That doesn’t mean same background.)

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to hear this happened, but, honestly, you WANT this to happen NOW and not after marriage.

Also, no woman is good enough for her son. Its just a thing.

And college these days just produces debt in people who dont have a plan and any ambition. You'll need some sort of post secondary education, trade, etc, but without a real plan, people end up with a costly degree and a job they could have done without it.

[Anonymous]

If he dumped you because of his mother then you dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s understandable, OP. If people are motivated, they go to college, etc. it’s the good thing about America. Some people see it as a compulsory thing. You don’t. You see it as something you do if someone gives you the opportunity, but otherwise not. Not if it’s going to be hard.

He comes from a different world with different ideas to you. You say you don’t want your DD to worry about anything. That mother doesn’t want her DS or future grandkids to worry about anything either. And part of that is marrying someone with the same ideas about life. (That doesn’t mean same background.)

Gross PP, gross.

[Anonymous]

you mentioned a couple times in your posts of being taken care of. time to get a little motivated, honey. do it for yourself. and while I'm sure his mother disapproved of you, the break-up is on him.

[Anonymous]

It's sad, but obviously he had some doubts, so it's better that it happened now.
Work on yourself, be strong and keep searching for that special person. If his feelings are strong enough he'll be back, but don't count on it. Never get in touch again, he made his decision. Let him live with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you mentioned a couple times in your posts of being taken care of. time to get a little motivated, honey. do it for yourself. and while I'm sure his mother disapproved of you, the break-up is on him.

^^^ This. you sound like a gold digger, a meal ticket in the waiting.

Maybe his mom saw through your bull and called you out for what you are.
if you want success, find it yourself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you mentioned a couple times in your posts of being taken care of. time to get a little motivated, honey. do it for yourself. and while I'm sure his mother disapproved of you, the break-up is on him.

^^^ This. you sound like a gold digger, a meal ticket in the waiting.

Maybe his mom saw through your bull and called you out for what you are.
if you want success, find it yourself!

Yup... sorry.

[Anonymous]

There's nothing in your post that indicates that she meddled. That's just your own insecurity talking. Also, this: "I just want my daughter to have an amazing father figure and not worry about anything, and I thought he was the one." makes it seem like you're just looking for a meal ticket.

[Anonymous]

Single mom here. The idea that you would want another man to care for you and your kid is unfair to him at best. Loving him for him and getting out of it a stable man who cares for you both is great. But you made it sound financial.

That aside, truth is, his mom would come between you sooner or later. It's good this happened now. You dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous]

Girl, when your boyfriend’s successful mother asks you about your plans and aspirations, you damn well better have some plans and aspirations to talk about. Hell, make something up or talk about your dream career or something, anything. I wouldn’t have wanted my son to date someone who could not answer that question either. Would you want your daughter to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing in your post that indicates that she meddled. That's just your own insecurity talking. Also, this: "I just want my daughter to have an amazing father figure and not worry about anything, and I thought he was the one." makes it seem like you're just looking for a meal ticket.

+1

Single mom and immigrant with a degree but had to go back to school and start over in the US. Fairytales and prince charmings don’t exist. You need to teach your child to be independent and not rely on men to save her, people will respect you for that.