Depressed, and upset ..boyfriend broke up with me and I think his mother was the reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, I have a son, and no way would I want him to marry a single mom with no aspirations who was looking at my DS to take care of her and her child.

You made a choice to have a child, now you need to double down and make a life for yourself. Don't count on anyone else -- but maybe get child's deadbeat dad to pony up money.

And no, I'm not a "troll" -- just telling you what you don't want to hear.

+1

Mom of 2 boys and a girl here, and I wouldn’t want one of my boys marrying an unmotivated single mom any more than I’d want my girl to be one!

[Anonymous]

Who knows how much influence his mom had on his decision. Maybe he's not ready to be a full-time father. Maybe he felt that you were taking more from the relationship than you were giving. Maybe the two of you have some other incompatibilities you're not telling us about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP, I have a son, and no way would I want him to marry a single mom with no aspirations who was looking at my DS to take care of her and her child.

You made a choice to have a child, now you need to double down and make a life for yourself. Don't count on anyone else -- but maybe get child's deadbeat dad to pony up money.

And no, I'm not a "troll" -- just telling you what you don't want to hear.

+1

Mom of 2 boys and a girl here, and I wouldn’t want one of my boys marrying an unmotivated single mom any more than I’d want my girl to be one!

^^^
This.

[Anonymous]

You are better off without him in the long run. A man who cannot clearly communicate and who allows his mother to dominate his decisions is not who you want as a husband/ father.


But you need to stop trying to find a father your daughter and focus on goals of your own. What do you want out of life? A man is not a plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are better off without him in the long run. A man who cannot clearly communicate and who allows his mother to dominate his decisions is not who you want as a husband/ father.


But you need to stop trying to find a father your daughter and focus on goals of your own. What do you want out of life? A man is not a plan.

Why are you blaming the guy when the mom was right to inform him about OP's lack of viability as a spouse/partner? OP must have been sweet but sounds as dumb as a box of rocks. After all, she got knocked up and expects another man to support her and her kid.

[Anonymous]

My brother married a single mom. It was a struggle for her for a bit. She wasn't able to go to college at first because of money. Got a job as a secretary in a medical office and lived with another single mom to cut down on costs and to help with childcare. Investigated programs to help pay for daycare. Once she had some money saved, she started applying for scholarships and then took out some loans and went to school online (at a reputable place).

Got her degree and a better paying job during the time she met my brother.

My family loves her. My brother makes more and has always "helped out" when they were dating, but it was ok because she had aspirations and was trying to make something of herself.

If she was like you and just wanted my brother to take care of her and had no long term plans....we would have all talked to him about breaking up with her.

Do something for yourself OP. Be a quality person. Show your kid that sometimes life is a struggle but you keep going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP, I have a son, and no way would I want him to marry a single mom with no aspirations who was looking at my DS to take care of her and her child.

You made a choice to have a child, now you need to double down and make a life for yourself. Don't count on anyone else -- but maybe get child's deadbeat dad to pony up money.

And no, I'm not a "troll" -- just telling you what you don't want to hear.

+1

Mom of 2 boys and a girl here, and I wouldn’t want one of my boys marrying an unmotivated single mom any more than I’d want my girl to be one!

^^^
This.

Same. While I certainly wouldn't want DS to marry someone like OP...id be more horrified if my daughter was like OP. And it has nothing to do with the single mom aspect. I also have a sneaky suspicion that even if OP didn't get pregnant, she would probably still be looking for a guy to take care of her. There are many, many women who get pregnant young. They don't all end up poor with no aspirations.

[Anonymous]

Some horrible people in here today.

OP — if he really left because of mom’s meddling, he’s not worth it anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some horrible people in here today.

OP — if he really left because of mom’s meddling, he’s not worth it anyway.

It's not horrible to point out that OP needs to work on herself. I know it's painful but the truth usually is.

[Anonymous]

OP, be grateful he did this now and not later. Do the best you can to create a stable, loving environment for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some horrible people in here today.

OP — if he really left because of mom’s meddling, he’s not worth it anyway.

Pray tell, how are we more horrible than some woman who was stupid enough to get pregnant without any form of support and is so conniving to want a man to support her and her daughter???

[Anonymous]

I think it's interesting that you commented that the mom is "fake" as though it's an insult that you're justified to dish out. Another way to say it is that the mom is "polite" and was not rude although she obviously had concerns - justified concerns - about a woman seeing her son as a long-term free meal ticket for herself and her daughter.

[Anonymous]

I'm struggling to understand what you think you bring to a relationship, OP. You also give conflicting information - first, you couldn't afford college then, later, you say college isn't for you. Your post is all about what your BF could do for you and your DD. What would you do for him?

You have no reason to believe your BF's mother doomed the relationship. It seems you have an excuse for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm struggling to understand what you think you bring to a relationship, OP. You also give conflicting information - first, you couldn't afford college then, later, you say college isn't for you. Your post is all about what your BF could do for you and your DD. What would you do for him?

You have no reason to believe your BF's mother doomed the relationship. It seems you have an excuse for everything.

+1

By your admission, you are a broke, single mom who has NO PLANS of trying to further your lot in life ON YOUR OWN. Chile. If either of my sons brought you home...nope. You bring nothing to the table but baggage and bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing in your post that indicates that she meddled. That's just your own insecurity talking. Also, this: "I just want my daughter to have an amazing father figure and not worry about anything, and I thought he was the one." makes it seem like you're just looking for a meal ticket.

OP think about it from his mother’s perspective...would you want your daughter to end up with someone who viewed her this way? Just a means for survival?