Depressed, and upset ..boyfriend broke up with me and I think his mother was the reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. [/b]I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. [b]No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

Holy crap!! What awful country do you come from with these views?
You couldn’t love a grandchild unless he was your own blood? A child?
I would politely request that you please return to your country.

Pearl-clutching....yawn..........

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post makes me sad I’m a single mom - highly educated but have stayed at home for many years. My husband walked out a couple of years ago. I’m by all means no gold digger. But I do hope to find love again...even though I guess I “lack ambition”.

If you're highly educated then you don't "lack ambition". And you were in a marriage when you decided to have kids.

OP didn't go to college and I got the impression that decision was made long before she ended up a single mom. In fact, had she been at college she might have been doing other things than ending up pregnant to a deadbeat. Or maybe not, and at least she'd have some education behind her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he dumped you because of his mother then you dodged a bullet.

Oh yes. And the stories I could tell you about when the person took that bullet. He did you a favor. I do realize your daughter will be affected sadly, though.For now.

He is an asshat...he really is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. [/b]I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. [b]No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

Holy crap!! What awful country do you come from with these views?
You couldn’t love a grandchild unless he was your own blood? A child?
I would politely request that you please return to your country.

+1. PP’s country must not be so great or she wouldn’t be here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. [/b]I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. [b]No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

Holy crap!! What awful country do you come from with these views?
You couldn’t love a grandchild unless he was your own blood? A child?
I would politely request that you please return to your country.

Please. Read the responses on here. Just about everyone is saying they wouldn’t want their kid to marry a single mom.

Read some of the stepparent threads on the family forum. Why would anyone want that for their child?

[Anonymous]

OP, you are the bullet he dodged.

[Anonymous]

Stop placing the blame on your ex’s mom when it should be on him. Bottom line is that He broke up with you. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. [/b]I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. [b]No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

Holy crap!! What awful country do you come from with these views?
You couldn’t love a grandchild unless he was your own blood? A child?
I would politely request that you please return to your country.

Please. Read the responses on here. Just about everyone is saying they wouldn’t want their kid to marry a single mom.

Read some of the stepparent threads on the family forum. Why would anyone want that for their child?

Well, DCUM seems to be a big collection of intolerant idiots. Most like uneducated as well. This is really pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. [/b]I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. [b]No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

Holy crap!! What awful country do you come from with these views?
You couldn’t love a grandchild unless he was your own blood? A child?
I would politely request that you please return to your country.

+1. PP’s country must not be so great or she wouldn’t be here.

Well - but don’t come here and stink the place up with your intolerance. If you want to be hateful stay in your own hateful, intolerant country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. [/b]I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. [b]No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

Holy crap!! What awful country do you come from with these views?
You couldn’t love a grandchild unless he was your own blood? A child?
I would politely request that you please return to your country.

The PP is correct. This is true of many, many cultures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. [/b]I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. [b]No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

Holy crap!! What awful country do you come from with these views?
You couldn’t love a grandchild unless he was your own blood? A child?
I would politely request that you please return to your country.

Pearl-clutching....yawn..........

Meh. DP here. I don't think I have it in me to love a child as a grandchild who is not biologically from my kids. Am I capable of being nice and kind to kids? Sure. I do it all the time. Similarly, I am kind and nice to many children, but I love my own kids with my heart and soul. There is a difference.

Besides, every single member of my family for generations married one person and remained married to that person for their entire life. There was no divorce, bastards and premarital sex, though I am sure there was cheating, unhappiness and infertility at times. So if someone in this day and age of various kinds of BC option available had sex and did not protect themselves from getting pregnant, I would think that they are pretty low class.

OP should rephrase this title - boyfriend broke up with me and I think my being a single mom and uneducated were the reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. [/b]I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

Holy crap!! What awful country do you come from with these views?
You couldn’t love a grandchild unless he was your own blood? A child?
I would politely request that you please return to your country.

Please. Read the responses on here. Just about everyone is saying they wouldn’t want their kid to marry a single mom.

Read some of the stepparent threads on the family forum. Why would anyone want that for their child?

Well, DCUM seems to be a big collection of intolerant idiots. [b]Most like uneducated as well. This is really pathetic.

Idiot can be subjective but this area statistically has high levels of education.

Also, how is it intolerant to state a fact that stepparent/stepchild dynamics are often difficult to navigate? That’s why second marriages have a high rate of divorce. You can call it pathetic, but this is reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. [/b]I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

Holy crap!! What awful country do you come from with these views?
You couldn’t love a grandchild unless he was your own blood? A child?
I would politely request that you please return to your country.

Pearl-clutching....yawn..........

Meh. DP here. I don't think I have it in me to love a child as a grandchild who is not biologically from my kids. Am I capable of being nice and kind to kids? Sure. I do it all the time. Similarly, I am kind and nice to many children, but I love my own kids with my heart and soul. There is a difference.

Besides, every single member of my family for generations married one person and remained married to that person for their entire life. There was no divorce, bastards and premarital sex, though I am sure there was cheating, unhappiness and infertility at times. So if someone in this day and age of various kinds of BC option available had sex and did not protect themselves from getting pregnant, I would think that they are pretty low class.

[b]OP should rephrase this title - boyfriend broke up with me and I think my being a single mom and uneducated were the reasons.

If being an uneducated single mom was a deal breaker for him, why did he date her?

OP, how long were you guys together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been dating an amazing man for over a year, things were going well ...he had even mentioned seeing us long term, getting married and all.
Suddenly out of no where he started distancing himself, one missed call turned into him not acting like his normal self and then the truth came out.

I think the reason he broke up with my was due to his mother.
My boyfriend grew up in a stable home, with loving parents-straight laced.
He is successful and his parents are proud and then here I am.

I didn't go to college because I didn't think it was something I could afford. I was in a relationship that didn't last but ended up pregnant.
My life has not been easy. Being a single mom, working like a dog just to provide a roof over our heads.

My boyfriend was this amazing person who didn't judge me, and took care of us while we were together.
Then I met his parents and his mom was not as interested in getting to know me, she was fake.
His dad was genuine. She had asked if I had planned to go to college, and asked if I had any aspirations, she just kept making things about success.

His parents are both successful, and so I didn't feel like I'd fit in. While his mom was nice and meeting them was not as bad as I thought, I just felt she judged me silently. His father never struck me as fake like she did. just my feeling.

When breaking up, he made it a point to say he thought while there would be a future in another life, for now he needed time to himself and to reflect on somethings.
He said he had a lot of think about and while he loves us (daughter and me) he said he isn't sure we're compatible. My lack of success was never a problem until his mother started
meddling. He has always had a close relationship with them, especially his mom. She made something of herself when she came from nothing, so he has told me.

I just feel like she judged me for being a single poor mom. Like I said, I choose not to go to college, but college isn't for everyone.

I just want my daughter to have an amazing father figure and not worry about anything, and I thought he was the one.

I'm sorry that this happened OP. My hope for my DS (when he gets married some day) is that he marries someone kind and that he is compatible with. I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with a single mom and child, but I would have a an issue if she had no goals beyond marrying my DS and having him take care of her and her DC. It's not the current success that that would bother me so much as the lack of plans.

My guess is that your BF's mom brought up the lack of goals and the different life circumstances and asked some cogent questions about how this was going to work long term. Your BF did the rest. Also, consider too, that if your BF was truly caring for you he might have asked about your plans as well. Sometimes partners help each other get through school or achieve some career goals-- it seems like you and your BF were playing house but not thinking about a partnership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. [/b]I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

Holy crap!! What awful country do you come from with these views?
You couldn’t love a grandchild unless he was your own blood? A child?
I would politely request that you please return to your country.

Pearl-clutching....yawn..........

Meh. DP here. I don't think I have it in me to love a child as a grandchild who is not biologically from my kids. Am I capable of being nice and kind to kids? Sure. I do it all the time. Similarly, I am kind and nice to many children, but I love my own kids with my heart and soul. There is a difference.

Besides,[b] every single member of my family for generations married one person and remained married to that person for their entire life. There was no divorce, bastards and premarital sex, though I am sure there was cheating, unhappiness and infertility at times. So if someone in this day and age of various kinds of BC option available had sex and did not protect themselves from getting pregnant, I would think that they are pretty low class.

OP should rephrase this title - boyfriend broke up with me and I think my being a single mom and uneducated were the reasons.

You're nuts if you think every single person in your lineage abstained from premarital sex.