MILs only -- and only if you do not like your DIL -- why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL here. Your points are some of the same things we complained about with OUR MILs! And the generations before us, and so on and so on. So I don't think that dynamic is ever going to change.

One thing that I have learned over the years, is that I don't think my MIL was being as critical of me as I thought she was. And I wish I had good-naturedly embraced her fixing his favorite foods, indulged it even. We call them "comfort foods" now. She called it "love".

Dietary and nutritional guidelines and recommendations change over the years as well. You can listen to and not act upon her recommendations. A nice vague response could be "that's interesting point, I'll ask the pediatrician about that".

No child is going to be ruined or scarred for life by allowing an occasional grandparent treat or indiscretion, dietary, or bedtime, or tooth brushing, or otherwise. Kids are waaay to smart for that one.

This may seem like capitulation and work on your part, but it's not really. You both love your husband and the children so make a jumping off point.

And BTW, the spoiled-by-the-husband wife of my generation is largely an urban myth. Only know of two of them and neither one is me!

This is a wonderful response. I completely agree. I don't understand why so many DIL's can't just listen to and briefly go along with the MIL just to keep the pease and indulge her. Hey, maybe you might even end up liking some suggestions. Maybe MIL doesn't have the best bedside manner sometimes (my own mom doesn't), but most things come from a place of caring and wanting to be included or help. Why is it so terribly difficult to indulge the MIL and not immediately rebuff her? Be the bigger person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL doesn't like me because it means she doesn't see her son and grandkids as often as she would like. We don't and will never live near here. I'm not Christian and my children are not being raised in any religion. I have no interest in spending Christmas with her because at this point we outnumber them and they spend the whole time at church anyway (FIL is a deacon).

So, you are an intolerant bigot, who hates her ILS because they are Christians. You also hate people of any other religious beliefs, I assume. Your way or the highway, right?

[Anonymous]

Maybe Jeff should spin off a MIL site, like the nanny site....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how women put up with this stuff from their MIL's. Just put your foot down and refuse to engage.

You also don't understand that majority of "this stuff" is not stuff at all, but imaginary slights and insanity of DILs. Since when is it wrong for a mother to wants to see her son and grandkids?

I'm not a MIL but I think a lot of the DILs here are ghastly, petty women who are so insecure in their own parenting they flip out when MILs (or FILS) give a piece of candy, offer advice, drop by without three weeks notice...

I have a great MIL btw but I also made sure to be a good DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Certainly don't "hate" my DIL, but find her difficult to be around ever since she had a baby. She knows it all and I know nothing about child-rearing. I never interfere or make suggestions unless pointedly asked, and then get an eye-roll.

I did raise children, all seemingly well-adjusted adults, one of which is her husband, who she seems to like very much, so I must have done something right, lol.

To be fair, my MIL raised her children doing things that the AAP deems totally unsafe now. And my ex's mom did shit that makes me surprised her children survived into adulthood. I don't think you would find out that your DIL thinks you know nothing about child rearing unless you were telling her what to do, despite your post. My friend's MIL totally sabotaged her breastfeeding efforts and mine tried feeding my 5 month old a gummy bear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Certainly don't "hate" my DIL, but find her difficult to be around ever since she had a baby. She knows it all and I know nothing about child-rearing. I never interfere or make suggestions unless pointedly asked, and then get an eye-roll.

I did raise children, all seemingly well-adjusted adults, one of which is her husband, who she seems to like very much, so I must have done something right, lol.

To be fair, my MIL raised her children doing things that the AAP deems totally unsafe now. And my ex's mom did shit that makes me surprised her children survived into adulthood. I don't think you would find out that your DIL thinks you know nothing about child rearing unless you were telling her what to do, despite your post. My friend's MIL totally sabotaged her breastfeeding efforts and mine tried feeding my 5 month old a gummy bear.

Unsafe now, but safe then? I think this trend of newest "proper upbringing of kids" needs to stop. What AAP? I threw every book I bought about child raising away. Nothing worked with my kids. Kids grew up for centuries without car seats, eating God knows what, without Ferberizing... People listen to "authority" and how can you when this same authority made obesity and cholesterol and diabetes crisis in the US and in the world. Remember when they said fat is bad for you and added sugar to everything and now it turns out that sugar causes cholesterol and not so much the animal fat. Remember margarine? Should have stuck with butter and lard. It turned out for me, that the African(as in Africa) nanny knew more about kids and babies and how to raise them than I did. And all the pps here would consider her centuries behind their MIL's ways. When I couldn't get my kids to eat, she showed me how to feed them with fingers, how to make them real food of rice and ground beef when they refused US baby food. Showed me how to carry them, so they will sleep and not fuss. People need to be open minded about all the issues. We accept gender changes, same sex marriages, groper running for President, etc. but we can't accept MILs for who they are and realize that there might be good intentions behind their words and actions, but that generational gap causes the misunderstanding? All DIL's will very likely one day be MILs, try to treat your MILs like you want to be treated one day in the future. As for new moms, we all get a little bit insane when our first child is born. I remember swaddling and how midwife showed me how to swaddle my first born. I watched and thought I knew it all, but then had to ask my mom how to do it as all that I did, just came apart. She hasn't done it in over 27 years and came in and voila, did it perfectly the first time. I had to use cloth diapers for first baby as he got enormous rash from disposable ones(we later figured out which ones he can tolerate) and here comes my mom(I don't have a MIL, this is for examples for what older generations do know) and does it perfect again. Well, so much for me being Ms. Know it All. Turned out, I knew absolutely nothing and when books were no help at all, older mom and my kid's nanny in Africa knew it all. Please everybody, be open minded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Certainly don't "hate" my DIL, but find her difficult to be around ever since she had a baby. She knows it all and I know nothing about child-rearing. I never interfere or make suggestions unless pointedly asked, and then get an eye-roll.

I did raise children, all seemingly well-adjusted adults, one of which is her husband, who she seems to like very much, so I must have done something right, lol.

To be fair, my MIL raised her children doing things that the AAP deems totally unsafe now. And my ex's mom did shit that makes me surprised her children survived into adulthood. I don't think you would find out that your DIL thinks you know nothing about child rearing unless you were telling her what to do, despite your post. My friend's MIL totally sabotaged her breastfeeding efforts and mine tried feeding my 5 month old a gummy bear.

Unsafe now, but safe then? I think this trend of newest "proper upbringing of kids" needs to stop. What AAP? I threw every book I bought about child raising away. Nothing worked with my kids. Kids grew up for centuries without car seats, eating God knows what, without Ferberizing... People listen to "authority" and how can you when this same authority made obesity and cholesterol and diabetes crisis in the US and in the world. Remember when they said fat is bad for you and added sugar to everything and now it turns out that sugar causes cholesterol and not so much the animal fat. Remember margarine? Should have stuck with butter and lard. It turned out for me, that the African(as in Africa) nanny knew more about kids and babies and how to raise them than I did. And all the pps here would consider her centuries behind their MIL's ways. When I couldn't get my kids to eat, she showed me how to feed them with fingers, how to make them real food of rice and ground beef when they refused US baby food. Showed me how to carry them, so they will sleep and not fuss. People need to be open minded about all the issues. We accept gender changes, same sex marriages, groper running for President, etc. but we can't accept MILs for who they are and realize that there might be good intentions behind their words and actions, but that generational gap causes the misunderstanding? All DIL's will very likely one day be MILs, try to treat your MILs like you want to be treated one day in the future. As for new moms, we all get a little bit insane when our first child is born. I remember swaddling and how midwife showed me how to swaddle my first born. I watched and thought I knew it all, but then had to ask my mom how to do it as all that I did, just came apart. She hasn't done it in over 27 years and came in and voila, did it perfectly the first time. I had to use cloth diapers for first baby as he got enormous rash from disposable ones(we later figured out which ones he can tolerate) and here comes my mom(I don't have a MIL, this is for examples for what older generations do know) and does it perfect again. Well, so much for me being Ms. Know it All. Turned out, I knew absolutely nothing and when books were no help at all, older mom and my kid's nanny in Africa knew it all. Please everybody, be open minded.

Uhmmm, you're kidding, right? You do realize the rate of death by car accident has gone way down with safety advances, no? You really want your grandkid rolling around in the back of the car? You ARE the nutty MIL! LOL!

And yes, I would say that smoking next to baby, feeding him corn syrup, and letting him play outside near the pool unattended are pretty much not okay.

p.s. What is up with your weird use of "Africa"?
Nutjob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Certainly don't "hate" my DIL, but find her difficult to be around ever since te your post. My friend's MIL totally sabotaged her breastfeeding efforts and mine tried feeding my 5 month old a gummy bear.

Unsafe now, but safe then? I think this trend of newest "proper upbringing of kids" needs to stop. What AAP? I threw every book I bought about child raising away. Nothing worked with my kids. Kids grew up for centuries without car seats, eating God knows what, without Ferberizing... People listen to "authority" and how can you when this same authority made obesity and cholesterol and diabetes crisis in the US and in the world. Remember when they said fat is bad for you and added sugar to everything and now it turns out that sugar causes cholesterol and not so much the animal fat. Remember margarine? Should have stuck with butter and lard. It turned out for me, that the African(as in Africa) nanny knew more about kids and babies and how to raise them than I did. And all the pps here would consider her centuries behind their MIL's ways. When I couldn't get my kids to eat, she showed me how to feed them with fingers, how to make them real food of rice and ground beef when they refused US baby food. Showed me how to carry them, so they will sleep and not fuss. People need to be open minded about all the issues. We accept gender changes, same sex marriages, groper running for President, etc. but we can't accept MILs for who they are and realize that there might be good intentions behind their words and actions, but that generational gap causes the misunderstanding? All DIL's will very likely one day be MILs, try to treat your MILs like you want to be treated one day in the future. As for new moms, we all get a little bit insane when our first child is born. I remember swaddling and how midwife showed me how to swaddle my first born. I watched and thought I knew it all, but then had to ask my mom how to do it as all that I did, just came apart. She hasn't done it in over 27 years and came in and voila, did it perfectly the first time. I had to use cloth diapers for first baby as he got enormous rash from disposable ones(we later figured out which ones he can tolerate) and here comes my mom(I don't have a MIL, this is for examples for what older generations do know) and does it perfect again. Well, so much for me being Ms. Know it All. Turned out, I knew absolutely nothing and when books were no help at all, older mom and my kid's nanny in Africa knew it all. Please everybody, be open minded.

Uhmmm, you're kidding, right? You do realize the rate of death by car accident has gone way down with safety advances, no? You really want your grandkid rolling around in the back of the car? You ARE the nutty MIL! LOL!

And yes, I would say that smoking next to baby, feeding him corn syrup, and letting him play outside near the pool unattended are pretty much not okay.

p.s. What is up with your weird use of "Africa"?
Nutjob.

+1. SIDS deaths have been cut in half since "back to sleep", injuries and deaths from car accidents are down with kids in car seats, etc. Yes, in some cases science changes (like the current thinking about when to introduce potential allergen foods), but I would rather know and use the current research than assume that the old ways are better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Certainly don't "hate" my DIL, but find her difficult to be around ever since she had a baby. She knows it all and I know nothing about child-rearing. I never interfere or make suggestions unless pointedly asked, and then get an eye-roll.

I did raise children, all seemingly well-adjusted adults, one of which is her husband, who she seems to like very much, so I must have done something right, lol.

To be fair, my MIL raised her children doing things that the AAP deems totally unsafe now. And my ex's mom did shit that makes me surprised her children survived into adulthood. I don't think you would find out that your DIL thinks you know nothing about child rearing unless you were telling her what to do, despite your post. My friend's MIL totally sabotaged her breastfeeding efforts and mine tried feeding my 5 month old a gummy bear.

Unsafe now, but safe then? I think this trend of newest "proper upbringing of kids" needs to stop. What AAP? I threw every book I bought about child raising away. Nothing worked with my kids. Kids grew up for centuries without car seats, eating God knows what, without Ferberizing... People listen to "authority" and how can you when this same authority made obesity and cholesterol and diabetes crisis in the US and in the world. Remember when they said fat is bad for you and added sugar to everything and now it turns out that sugar causes cholesterol and not so much the animal fat. Remember margarine? Should have stuck with butter and lard. It turned out for me, that the African(as in Africa) nanny knew more about kids and babies and how to raise them than I did. And all the pps here would consider her centuries behind their MIL's ways. When I couldn't get my kids to eat, she showed me how to feed them with fingers, how to make them real food of rice and ground beef when they refused US baby food. Showed me how to carry them, so they will sleep and not fuss. People need to be open minded about all the issues. We accept gender changes, same sex marriages, groper running for President, etc. but we can't accept MILs for who they are and realize that there might be good intentions behind their words and actions, but that generational gap causes the misunderstanding? All DIL's will very likely one day be MILs, try to treat your MILs like you want to be treated one day in the future. As for new moms, we all get a little bit insane when our first child is born. I remember swaddling and how midwife showed me how to swaddle my first born. I watched and thought I knew it all, but then had to ask my mom how to do it as all that I did, just came apart. She hasn't done it in over 27 years and came in and voila, did it perfectly the first time. I had to use cloth diapers for first baby as he got enormous rash from disposable ones(we later figured out which ones he can tolerate) and here comes my mom(I don't have a MIL, this is for examples for what older generations do know) and does it perfect again. Well, so much for me being Ms. Know it All. Turned out, I knew absolutely nothing and when books were no help at all, older mom and my kid's nanny in Africa knew it all. Please everybody, be open minded.

Uhmmm, you're kidding, right? You do realize the rate of death by car accident has gone way down with safety advances, no? You really want your grandkid rolling around in the back of the car? You ARE the nutty MIL! LOL!

And yes, I would say that smoking next to baby, feeding him corn syrup, and letting him play outside near the pool unattended are pretty much not okay.

p.s. What is up with your weird use of "Africa"?
Nutjob.

I think your coarse language and need for insults speaks clearly what kind of person you are. Your MIL must've been crying her eyes out when her son married you and ruined his life. I never mentioned car seats, and what kind of family are you exactly when there are smokers and corn syrups feeders around? I guess I know what background you come from, but am too polite to say it. My kids grew up in Africa, we lived in Africa, there is no weird use of Africa for me. I love it there, and always will. If job did't force me to be here, I would live there.

[Anonymous]

Love my DIL. It's my daughter who drives me crazy. She expects me to constantly be there for her as a babysitter but would never put herself out to be present at a family gathering, even for an hour, unless there's something in it for her (someone visiting she wants to see or expected gifts on holidays).

[Anonymous]

I don't know, if my MIL had gotten my cat a cat tunnel and whatever other roys, I'd have liked it! But she actually gives us joint gifts that she asks about beforehand, so we love her presents! I think the trick is to give joint gifts, not try to give personal gifts to someone you don't know. My parents do the same for us.. How can my mother know a personal gift for my husband, a man she barely knows? (Alrhough with every visit and year she knows him better, of course)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Certainly don't "hate" my DIL, but find her difficult to be around ever since she had a baby. She knows it all and I know nothing about child-rearing. I never interfere or make suggestions unless pointedly asked, and then get an eye-roll.

I did raise children, all seemingly well-adjusted adults, one of which is her husband, who she seems to like very much, so I must have done something right, lol.

To be fair, my MIL raised her children doing things that the AAP deems totally unsafe now. And my ex's mom did shit that makes me surprised her children survived into adulthood. I don't think you would find out that your DIL thinks you know nothing about child rearing unless you were telling her what to do, despite your post. My friend's MIL totally sabotaged her breastfeeding efforts and mine tried feeding my 5 month old a gummy bear.

Unsafe now, but safe then? I think this trend of newest "proper upbringing of kids" needs to stop. What AAP? I threw every book I bought about child raising away. Nothing worked with my kids. Kids grew up for centuries without car seats, eating God knows what, without Ferberizing... People listen to "authority" and how can you when this same authority made obesity and cholesterol and diabetes crisis in the US and in the world. Remember when they said fat is bad for you and added sugar to everything and now it turns out that sugar causes cholesterol and not so much the animal fat. Remember margarine? Should have stuck with butter and lard. It turned out for me, that the African(as in Africa) nanny knew more about kids and babies and how to raise them than I did. And all the pps here would consider her centuries behind their MIL's ways. When I couldn't get my kids to eat, she showed me how to feed them with fingers, how to make them real food of rice and ground beef when they refused US baby food. Showed me how to carry them, so they will sleep and not fuss. People need to be open minded about all the issues. We accept gender changes, same sex marriages, groper running for President, etc. but we can't accept MILs for who they are and realize that there might be good intentions behind their words and actions, but that generational gap causes the misunderstanding? All DIL's will very likely one day be MILs, try to treat your MILs like you want to be treated one day in the future. As for new moms, we all get a little bit insane when our first child is born. I remember swaddling and how midwife showed me how to swaddle my first born. I watched and thought I knew it all, but then had to ask my mom how to do it as all that I did, just came apart. She hasn't done it in over 27 years and came in and voila, did it perfectly the first time. I had to use cloth diapers for first baby as he got enormous rash from disposable ones(we later figured out which ones he can tolerate) and here comes my mom(I don't have a MIL, this is for examples for what older generations do know) and does it perfect again. Well, so much for me being Ms. Know it All. Turned out, I knew absolutely nothing and when books were no help at all, older mom and my kid's nanny in Africa knew it all. Please everybody, be open minded.

A lot of kids died in those centuries. A lot of kids died in car accidents before car seats were required.

This is why people don't listen to their MILs. Because y'all say stupid shit like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Certainly don't "hate" my DIL, but find her difficult to be around ever since she had a baby. She knows it all and I know nothing about child-rearing. I never interfere or make suggestions unless pointedly asked, and then get an eye-roll.

I did raise children, all seemingly well-adjusted adults, one of which is her husband, who she seems to like very much, so I must have done something right, lol.

To be fair, my MIL raised her children doing things that the AAP deems totally unsafe now. And my ex's mom did shit that makes me surprised her children survived into adulthood. I don't think you would find out that your DIL thinks you know nothing about child rearing unless you were telling her what to do, despite your post. My friend's MIL totally sabotaged her breastfeeding efforts and mine tried feeding my 5 month old a gummy bear.

Unsafe now, but safe then? I think this trend of newest "proper upbringing of kids" needs to stop. What AAP? I threw every book I bought about child raising away. Nothing worked with my kids. Kids grew up for centuries without car seats, eating God knows what, without Ferberizing... People listen to "authority" and how can you when this same authority made obesity and cholesterol and diabetes crisis in the US and in the world. Remember when they said fat is bad for you and added sugar to everything and now it turns out that sugar causes cholesterol and not so much the animal fat. Remember margarine? Should have stuck with butter and lard. It turned out for me, that the African(as in Africa) nanny knew more about kids and babies and how to raise them than I did. And all the pps here would consider her centuries behind their MIL's ways. When I couldn't get my kids to eat, she showed me how to feed them with fingers, how to make them real food of rice and ground beef when they refused US baby food. Showed me how to carry them, so they will sleep and not fuss. People need to be open minded about all the issues. We accept gender changes, same sex marriages, groper running for President, etc. but we can't accept MILs for who they are and realize that there might be good intentions behind their words and actions, but that generational gap causes the misunderstanding? All DIL's will very likely one day be MILs, try to treat your MILs like you want to be treated one day in the future. As for new moms, we all get a little bit insane when our first child is born. I remember swaddling and how midwife showed me how to swaddle my first born. I watched and thought I knew it all, but then had to ask my mom how to do it as all that I did, just came apart. She hasn't done it in over 27 years and came in and voila, did it perfectly the first time. I had to use cloth diapers for first baby as he got enormous rash from disposable ones(we later figured out which ones he can tolerate) and here comes my mom(I don't have a MIL, this is for examples for what older generations do know) and does it perfect again. Well, so much for me being Ms. Know it All. Turned out, I knew absolutely nothing and when books were no help at all, older mom and my kid's nanny in Africa knew it all. Please everybody, be open minded.

A lot of kids died in those centuries. A lot of kids died in car accidents before car seats were required.

This is why people don't listen to their MILs. Because y'all say stupid shit like that.

Well, to be fair, for most of those centuries there were no cars to put carseats in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, if my MIL had gotten my cat a cat tunnel and whatever other roys, I'd have liked it! But she actually gives us joint gifts that she asks about beforehand, so we love her presents! I think the trick is to give joint gifts, not try to give personal gifts to someone you don't know. My parents do the same for us.. How can my mother know a personal gift for my husband, a man she barely knows? (Alrhough with every visit and year she knows him better, of course)

PP with reptile-loving dil here...I see what you're saying-it was just such a weird situation that year, with them being in student housing that they would leave the next spring I didn't want to get anything that they didn't choose themselves for that limited space. There was also the distance issue (for shipping) and I had just literally had a baby, myself, so my own shopping time was quite limited. And she had actually mentioned getting a new environment for the pet (whatever their cages are called).

Now with some time gone by (2 years now) I can see that she has some mental issues, and it wasn't really about the gift I'm just glad that I had given it in a loving spirit-I truly thought it would be welcomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Certainly don't "hate" my DIL, but find her difficult to be around ever since she had a baby. She knows it all and I know nothing about child-rearing. I never interfere or make suggestions unless pointedly asked, and then get an eye-roll.

I did raise children, all seemingly well-adjusted adults, one of which is her husband, who she seems to like very much, so I must have done something right, lol.

To be fair, my MIL raised her children doing things that the AAP deems totally unsafe now. And my ex's mom did shit that makes me surprised her children survived into adulthood. I don't think you would find out that your DIL thinks you know nothing about child rearing unless you were telling her what to do, despite your post. My friend's MIL totally sabotaged her breastfeeding efforts and mine tried feeding my 5 month old a gummy bear.

Unsafe now, but safe then? I think this trend of newest "proper upbringing of kids" needs to stop. What AAP? I threw every book I bought about child raising away. Nothing worked with my kids. Kids grew up for centuries without car seats, eating God knows what, without Ferberizing... People listen to "authority" and how can you when this same authority made obesity and cholesterol and diabetes crisis in the US and in the world. Remember when they said fat is bad for you and added sugar to everything and now it turns out that sugar causes cholesterol and not so much the animal fat. Remember margarine? Should have stuck with butter and lard. It turned out for me, that the African(as in Africa) nanny knew more about kids and babies and how to raise them than I did. And all the pps here would consider her centuries behind their MIL's ways. When I couldn't get my kids to eat, she showed me how to feed them with fingers, how to make them real food of rice and ground beef when they refused US baby food. Showed me how to carry them, so they will sleep and not fuss. People need to be open minded about all the issues. We accept gender changes, same sex marriages, groper running for President, etc. but we can't accept MILs for who they are and realize that there might be good intentions behind their words and actions, but that generational gap causes the misunderstanding? All DIL's will very likely one day be MILs, try to treat your MILs like you want to be treated one day in the future. As for new moms, we all get a little bit insane when our first child is born. I remember swaddling and how midwife showed me how to swaddle my first born. I watched and thought I knew it all, but then had to ask my mom how to do it as all that I did, just came apart. She hasn't done it in over 27 years and came in and voila, did it perfectly the first time. I had to use cloth diapers for first baby as he got enormous rash from disposable ones(we later figured out which ones he can tolerate) and here comes my mom(I don't have a MIL, this is for examples for what older generations do know) and does it perfect again. Well, so much for me being Ms. Know it All. Turned out, I knew absolutely nothing and when books were no help at all, older mom and my kid's nanny in Africa knew it all. Please everybody, be open minded.

Uhmmm, you're kidding, right? You do realize the rate of death by car accident has gone way down with safety advances, no? You really want your grandkid rolling around in the back of the car? You ARE the nutty MIL! LOL!

And yes, I would say that smoking next to baby, feeding him corn syrup, and letting him play outside near the pool unattended are pretty much not okay.

p.s. What is up with your weird use of "Africa"?
Nutjob.

I think your coarse language and need for insults speaks clearly what kind of person you are. Your MIL must've been crying her eyes out when her son married you and ruined his life. I never mentioned car seats, and what kind of family are you exactly when there are smokers and corn syrups feeders around? I guess I know what background you come from, but am too polite to say it. My kids grew up in Africa, we lived in Africa, there is no weird use of Africa for me. I love it there, and always will. If job did't force me to be here, I would live there.

Reread your post. You did say carseats. And I think it was weird that you kept mentioning the nanny was African, totally irrelevant. Your speculation on my life and family is wrong and means absolutely nothing to me.

Welcome to the internet.