Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Certainly don't "hate" my DIL, but find her difficult to be around ever since she had a baby. She knows it all and I know nothing about child-rearing. I never interfere or make suggestions unless pointedly asked, and then get an eye-roll.
I did raise children, all seemingly well-adjusted adults, one of which is her husband, who she seems to like very much, so I must have done something right, lol.
To be fair, my MIL raised her children doing things that the AAP deems totally unsafe now. And my ex's mom did shit that makes me surprised her children survived into adulthood. I don't think you would find out that your DIL thinks you know nothing about child rearing unless you were telling her what to do, despite your post. My friend's MIL totally sabotaged her breastfeeding efforts and mine tried feeding my 5 month old a gummy bear.
Unsafe now, but safe then? I think this trend of newest "proper upbringing of kids" needs to stop. What AAP? I threw every book I bought about child raising away. Nothing worked with my kids. Kids grew up for centuries without car seats, eating God knows what, without Ferberizing... People listen to "authority" and how can you when this same authority made obesity and cholesterol and diabetes crisis in the US and in the world. Remember when they said fat is bad for you and added sugar to everything and now it turns out that sugar causes cholesterol and not so much the animal fat. Remember margarine? Should have stuck with butter and lard. It turned out for me, that the African(as in Africa) nanny knew more about kids and babies and how to raise them than I did. And all the pps here would consider her centuries behind their MIL's ways. When I couldn't get my kids to eat, she showed me how to feed them with fingers, how to make them real food of rice and ground beef when they refused US baby food. Showed me how to carry them, so they will sleep and not fuss. People need to be open minded about all the issues. We accept gender changes, same sex marriages, groper running for President, etc. but we can't accept MILs for who they are and realize that there might be good intentions behind their words and actions, but that generational gap causes the misunderstanding? All DIL's will very likely one day be MILs, try to treat your MILs like you want to be treated one day in the future. As for new moms, we all get a little bit insane when our first child is born. I remember swaddling and how midwife showed me how to swaddle my first born. I watched and thought I knew it all, but then had to ask my mom how to do it as all that I did, just came apart. She hasn't done it in over 27 years and came in and voila, did it perfectly the first time. I had to use cloth diapers for first baby as he got enormous rash from disposable ones(we later figured out which ones he can tolerate) and here comes my mom(I don't have a MIL, this is for examples for what older generations do know) and does it perfect again. Well, so much for me being Ms. Know it All. Turned out, I knew absolutely nothing and when books were no help at all, older mom and my kid's nanny in Africa knew it all. Please everybody, be open minded.
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