Need advice - I have zero attraction to DH and avoid sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's changed that you aren't attracted to him anymore?

I guess when we were single and in our early to mid thirties I was down for whatever and not busy cooking cleaning and taking care of DD. Back then DH was my focus but now I'm all consumed with 100% of the household, yard, maintenance, and childcare duties except one preschool drop off a week. I don't even think about sex. I'm utterly exhausted. We have no family in the area either.

You read it here single men of DCUM.

Do. Not. Get. Married.
Do. Not. Breed.

#InevitableLibidoDecline

You read it hear single women of DCUM.

Do.Not.Get. Married.
I.don't.care.if.you.breed.but.get.child.support

#mengetfatandtheirbreathstinks

Lmfao!!!!! #mengetfatandtheirbreathstinks lolol olgas

Girl, we need to get together lol!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Outsource more. Make sex the priority. Not cooking and the yard. Or you'll end up divorced.

Try to compromise, you don't have to like having sex nor should it be a priority before your kids or others factors in the marriage. Just as he doesn't doesn't like home repairs or chores around the house. That's ok. Try to tell him how you feel. Do the duty sex a few times a month, certainly don't reward him for the groping, or pawing. That should stop it by turning around and walking away. Like kids you don't reward bad behavior.

I would like to know what he said after you talked to him. Did it register?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's changed that you aren't attracted to him anymore?

I guess when we were single and in our early to mid thirties I was down for whatever and not busy cooking cleaning and taking care of DD. Back then DH was my focus but now I'm all consumed with 100% of the household, yard, maintenance, and childcare duties except one preschool drop off a week. I don't even think about sex. I'm utterly exhausted. We have no family in the area either.

You read it here single men of DCUM.

Do. Not. Get. Married.
Do. Not. Breed.

#InevitableLibidoDecline

You read it hear single women of DCUM.

Do.Not.Get. Married.
I.don't.care.if.you.breed.but.get.child.support

#mengetfatandtheirbreathstinks

Lmfao!!!!! #mengetfatandtheirbreathstinks lolol olgas

Girl, we need to get together lol!!!

Trust me, no one wants to have sex with grandpa nose hair.

[Anonymous]

Tell him to stop groping, and tell him exactly what will get you sexually excited.

If all you do is tell him to stop touching you and to start doing an unspecified amount of extra work around the house and then maybe, possibly, some day you might be sort of more sexually attracted to him if he guesses just the right time to approach you romantically -- that's not going to be very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the doctor to see if he can take something to calm him down. Help him focus on the more important aspects of your marriage. You can't force him to do his share of household work. Of course that goes both ways. If a guy won't do his share he should expect little sex.

Both needs should be considered, it's not all about his. Maybe there is a anti-Viagra, I would sure look into that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's changed that you aren't attracted to him anymore?

I guess when we were single and in our early to mid thirties I was down for whatever and not busy cooking cleaning and taking care of DD. Back then DH was my focus but now I'm all consumed with 100% of the household, yard, maintenance, and childcare duties except one preschool drop off a week. I don't even think about sex. I'm utterly exhausted. We have no family in the area either.

You read it here single men of DCUM.

Do. Not. Get. Married.
Do. Not. Breed.

#InevitableLibidoDecline

You read it hear single women of DCUM.

Do.Not.Get. Married.
I.don't.care.if.you.breed.but.get.child.support

#mengetfatandtheirbreathstinks

Lmfao!!!!! #mengetfatandtheirbreathstinks lolol olgas

Girl, we need to get together lol!!!

Trust me, no one wants to have sex with grandpa nose hair.

True too!

[Anonymous]

Maybe he has been reading bad advice online about how he should be more "alpha". MRAs take note-- it doesn't work in real life.

Say to him, loud and clear every time: GET OFF ME.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am going to try and help you from a man's perspective. This assumes you want your marriage to work, I honestly can't tell that from your post.

Most men understand sex is going to slow down in marriage, but we don't think it will slow to zero. We also can keenly sense when a woman isn't into having sex with you. My guess is your husband is reading things like married man sex life which tells you to be aggressive with initiations. Who knows.

You need to have a somewhat honest conversation with him about what you need to get in the mood. Some space at the end of the day? Him to get the kid out of the house? Time to read erotica? Give him a plan, if he cares about having a sex life, he will put it into action.

If you really don't want to have sex with him again, you need to consider an open marriage or divorce. But read the posts about blended marriages and see how depressing that all seems. Perhaps will motivate you to find a way to desire him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the doctor to see if he can take something to calm him down. Help him focus on the more important aspects of your marriage. You can't force him to do his share of household work. Of course that goes both ways. If a guy won't do his share he should expect little sex.

Both needs should be considered, it's not all about his. Maybe there is a anti-Viagra, I would sure look into that.

Sure, just give him estrogen or some sort of testosterone blocker. Hell, why not chemical castration? It works for pedophiles in prison, it should work on normal heterosexual married men, too. What could possibly go wrong? I hope you like man boobs.

My God. What the fuck is wrong with you bitches?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he has been reading bad advice online about how he should be more "alpha". MRAs take note-- it doesn't work in real life.

Say to him, loud and clear every time: GET OFF ME.

I thought that too, but instead of being rude, you can be direct while noting what does turn you on. Being critical of your spouse is unnecessary. Telling them what would work is constructive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the doctor to see if he can take something to calm him down. Help him focus on the more important aspects of your marriage. You can't force him to do his share of household work. Of course that goes both ways. If a guy won't do his share he should expect little sex.

Both needs should be considered, it's not all about his. Maybe there is a anti-Viagra, I would sure look into that.

Sure, just give him estrogen or some sort of testosterone blocker. Hell, why not chemical castration? It works for pedophiles in prison, it should work on normal heterosexual married men, too. What could possibly go wrong? I hope you like man boobs.

My God. What the fuck is wrong with you bitches?

The PP was trolling and you got trolled.

[Anonymous]

Here's the truth. As you get older it doesn't get easier to fake it. You're both older, less likely to be attracted or "as" attracted to him when you were younger. Good marriages last because they are built on things that are much more important than sex.

A counselor isn't going to make someone love sauerkraut, or sky diving when they truly don't. So stupid when everyone throws out the counselor card. Trust me they have their own problems, probably worse than you. No one is going to make your husband enjoy being the tool guy. If you can accept or outsource some of the house hold obligations that might help both of you. If you can do the "dinner & show" a few times a month, seems fair.

A lot of men understand if they drink enough beer, even Magda from Something About Mary can look pretty good..until it wears off.

Set aside a good time for both of you. I suggest have a few or more cocktails, and make the best of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he has been reading bad advice online about how he should be more "alpha". MRAs take note-- it doesn't work in real life.

Say to him, loud and clear every time: GET OFF ME.

Or a stun gun on low.

[Anonymous]

OP Buy Chaste Tree Berries, all herbal... you can make a tea to give him. It reduces testosterone in men. Look it up.

[Anonymous]

Get him a hooker.
Everyone wins!!