Anyone else experience this when discussing school choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC was accepted to several of the top 5 schools mentioned here. We have not mentioned the schools to other families at our current school. We chose one and now that the dust has settled and families are beginning to discuss the next step I feel that some famiies who I am certain applied to the school our DC will attend, and who may or may not have been offered a spot, are a bit standoffish. It's not like I ever bring it up but if they ask I answer and always ask where their DC is going in return as it seems to be the polite thing to do but what's with the attitude once they learn about were our child is going? Has anyone else experienced this? Or is it more of a now that we are all going separate ways I dont have to pretend to be nice thing? Not sure which is worse.

Let me guess: your child got into Sidwell ?

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

look, all parents think their kids are great and should have been accepted to whatever school they had their heart set on. as a parent whose kid has been waitlisted more than once, I admit I think that I think kids who aren't as smart/well rounded/kind/funny/athletic/whatever as my kid got in to those schools. i suspect the parents' reaction to OP has something to do with the assessment of her kid and how the hell he/she got in (i also suspect that OP is tone deaf, at best, and smug, at worst, about admissions results).

[Anonymous]

Just be thoughtful and considerate and think about the possible situations of others in your conversations.

[Anonymous]

maybe she is just a bitch that no one likes.

[Anonymous]

I think there are more losers than winners on this thread. Very few seem to have experienced the kind of success that means others did not make the grade, which is most forms of success, since not everyone is equally qualified. So this is the loser view. Many losers here telling how it felt. Awwww, so hurtful...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are more losers than winners on this thread. Very few seem to have experienced the kind of success that means others did not make the grade, which is most forms of success, since not everyone is equally qualified. So this is the loser view. Many losers here telling how it felt. Awwww, so hurtful...

Success? A young child getting into a school? If thats your definition of success I feel bad for your kids.

Oh, wait, its YOUR success. Wow, you must have a rich life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are more losers than winners on this thread. Very few seem to have experienced the kind of success that means others did not make the grade, which is most forms of success, since not everyone is equally qualified. So this is the loser view. Many losers here telling how it felt. Awwww, so hurtful...

Success? A young child getting into a school? If thats your definition of success I feel bad for your kids.

Oh, wait, its YOUR success. Wow, you must have a rich life.

That is exactly the attitude I mean. I am very sorry that you feel bad for my kids. But at least I am able to say congrats to others who got into the school they wanted, which is more than I see from the sour grapes posters here.

[Anonymous]

Well, for all of you parents who cannot fathom another parent behaving badly out of a sense od disappointment or envy, congratulations! You've been nominated for Diety of the year, since it's clear you don't appreciate human frailty or negative emotions. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, for all of you parents who cannot fathom another parent behaving badly out of a sense od disappointment or envy, congratulations! You've been nominated for Diety of the year, since it's clear you don't appreciate human frailty or negative emotions. Good luck with that.

Oh wait, just realized that God is compassionate and forgives, so I guess you're out of luck with that too.

[Anonymous]

My kids are younger and are in grade school. We are not socialites nor are our a kids athletes and guess we have pretty average income for a private school. However, my family is incredibly focused on academics. My oldest works hard and each year does better. My oldest is not a progidy but reads a ton. As my oldest does better I find that I need to keep my trap shut from being admonished by other families I am sure if my oldest did get into one of the top schools we would be made to feel bad about it by the power cliche in the school. This thread is making me realize that probably most people in the school would probably make me feel bad in the event that happened. Thanks OP- now I know what to expect. If my kids don't get into a top high school I guess the lack of poor behavior by friends can be a small silver lining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are younger and are in grade school. We are not socialites nor are our a kids athletes and guess we have pretty average income for a private school. However, my family is incredibly focused on academics. My oldest works hard and each year does better. My oldest is not a progidy but reads a ton. As my oldest does better I find that I need to keep my trap shut from being admonished by other families I am sure if my oldest did get into one of the top schools we would be made to feel bad about it by the power cliche in the school. This thread is making me realize that probably most people in the school would probably make me feel bad in the event that happened. Thanks OP- now I know what to expect. If my kids don't get into a top high school I guess the lack of poor behavior by friends can be a small silver lining.

And, what profound point are you attempting to make? I got lost after "As my oldest does better I find that I need to keep my trap shut from being admonished by other families."

[Anonymous]

Just because I think OP was tone deaf on this issue doesn't mean I have sour grapes about her child's success. FWIW my kids have had their share of acceptances and rejections at "several of the top 5 schools" as well. Oops, now I'm humble bragging.

[Anonymous]

My son is a hard worker and does well in school. I have never discussed his grades or teacher reports with anyone. Oddly, as I would never do this, I have been called by a few other mothers at times when their son does poorly (on ERBs or report cards) and asked if my son also did poorly. I realized they were looking for sympathy, I gave it, but did not comment on my son more than to say "he did fine."

These kids are now in 6th grade and applying out to next step schools. My son got into one of the most "desired" schools by his cohort. As the news gets out (told a few teachers and friends, people see us at the welcome receptions, etc...) I can tell some parents are like "wow, who knew BoyX was so smart." Or, the less kind, "can you believe BoyX got into to ..."

My point is, no need to tell people if your child is doing well. Eventually the proof will be visible to all. It is best to refuse to get caught up in this crap. First, because it is not about you, it is about your child. Second, karma is a bitch for far too many people who act/say their child is brilliant and will definitely go to Top 3 school and then they don't get in. Just don't say anything. Much safer, much kinder, much better bet.

[Anonymous]

PP,
Not saying anything isn't reasonable. I do think OP is overplaying people's perceived reactions. As for your story, that smarts. At the same time, I saw a child get into a Top 3 from my child's public elementary and the community was stunned. He wasn't that bright, and quite frankly, he wasn't that nice. His parents had connections. Social connections, not just scores, are part of this landscape, too.