Anyone else experience this when discussing school choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because I think OP was tone deaf on this issue doesn't mean I have sour grapes about her child's success. FWIW my kids have had their share of acceptances and rejections at "several of the top 5 schools" as well. Oops, now I'm humble bragging.

Same here! We turned these top privates down for magnets, and now DC is going to an ivy.

Guess what? I posted that OP is clueless and tone deaf, and I believe that. When people asked me about colleges, I had a ready answer that involved a lot of eyerolling about luck and how DC fit a really special niche (not a hook) they needed, all to make it seem like this wasn't a judgment on their kids. It's not hard to be kind and thoughtful in this process, and it costs nothing when you're already really happy about your own kid's outcome. It just seems like OP is absorbed in her own wonderfulness that she doesn't want to make the effort.

[Anonymous]

Totally agree with PP's approach. It's nice manners to play down success around sensitive things like school acceptances.

[Anonymous]

There is a great deal less of the connections thing once you are talking about middle and high school. In PK, K, yes, it is much more about the parents or connections. By 6th, 7th, etc... It is more about the kid's record and character. Yes, connections can still help but generally only if they are at the very very top of power and wealth and legacy.

I have seen people in this town who think they are super wealthy, super powerful, and believe their kid is therefore a shoe-in to say, STA or Sidwell, only to be denied by both, as well as at their "back up" choices of Landon and Potomac (these schools are not, to my mind, back-ups at all by the way, ergo my use if quotations).

I have also seen the well connected old Washingtonian type, legacy Dad use every ounce of power and influence he has to get his kid into some "top school" only to have to pull that child out the next year because the child was completely academically incapable of keeping up. All I can think in the second scenario, is "POOR KID. Who does that that to their child?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because I think OP was tone deaf on this issue doesn't mean I have sour grapes about her child's success. FWIW my kids have had their share of acceptances and rejections at "several of the top 5 schools" as well. Oops, now I'm humble bragging.

Same here! We turned these top privates down for magnets, and now DC is going to an ivy.

Guess what? I posted that OP is clueless and tone deaf, and I believe that. When people asked me about colleges, I had a ready answer that involved a lot of eyerolling about luck and how DC fit a really special niche (not a hook) they needed, all to make it seem like this wasn't a judgment on their kids. It's not hard to be kind and thoughtful in this process, and it costs nothing when you're already really happy about your own kid's outcome. It just seems like OP is absorbed in her own wonderfulness that she doesn't want to make the effort.

But is he going to a Top Ivy?

Just playing with you, PP. You know, you really don't have to put on an act with the eyerolling (so unflattering), etc. Nor do you have to say that your child will go to school "in NJ" or "in Connecticut" or even "in Boston." Nobody's that awestruck or cowed or envious, primarily because we all know this isn't such a momentous event. Enjoy your child's accomplishment and luck (there's always an element of each) and be genuine in wishing the other parents and their children well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because I think OP was tone deaf on this issue doesn't mean I have sour grapes about her child's success. FWIW my kids have had their share of acceptances and rejections at "several of the top 5 schools" as well. Oops, now I'm humble bragging.

Same here! We turned these top privates down for magnets, and now DC is going to an ivy.

Guess what? I posted that OP is clueless and tone deaf, and I believe that. When people asked me about colleges, I had a ready answer that involved a lot of eyerolling about luck and how DC fit a really special niche (not a hook) they needed, all to make it seem like this wasn't a judgment on their kids. It's not hard to be kind and thoughtful in this process, and it costs nothing when you're already really happy about your own kid's outcome. It just seems like OP is absorbed in her own wonderfulness that she doesn't want to make the effort.

Doesn't sound a bit patronizing, does it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because I think OP was tone deaf on this issue doesn't mean I have sour grapes about her child's success. FWIW my kids have had their share of acceptances and rejections at "several of the top 5 schools" as well. Oops, now I'm humble bragging.

Same here! We turned these top privates down for magnets, and now DC is going to an ivy.

Guess what? I posted that OP is clueless and tone deaf, and I believe that. When people asked me about colleges, I had a ready answer that involved a lot of eyerolling about luck and how DC fit a really special niche (not a hook) they needed, all to make it seem like this wasn't a judgment on their kids. It's not hard to be kind and thoughtful in this process, and it costs nothing when you're already really happy about your own kid's outcome. It just seems like OP is absorbed in her own wonderfulness that she doesn't want to make the effort.

But is he going to a Top Ivy?

Just playing with you, PP. You know, you really don't have to put on an act with the eyerolling (so unflattering), etc. Nor do you have to say that your child will go to school "in NJ" or "in Connecticut" or even "in Boston." Nobody's that awestruck or cowed or envious, primarily because we all know this isn't such a momentous event. Enjoy your child's accomplishment and luck (there's always an element of each) and be genuine in wishing the other parents and their children well.

PP here. You sound like you need to hear this. You're a total loser! Sorry your kid is going to Podunk U, while you waste your time missing the point of threads. (Reading comprehension is tough, isn't it? Or maybe you're an alky and that's why you can't understand what's going on on this thread.) But at least you can get some sad little kicks abusing anonymous internet posters. I hope you and your kid have good lives anyway, although that seems unlikely....

[Anonymous]

^^^ Just playing with you.

[Anonymous]

OP, the bottom line is that when you have this kind of success, many people will be jealous and bitter. You need to be extremely self deprecating, and pretend that there is nothing special about your child, or else some people will get pissy.

[Anonymous]

My first thought is your child was a diversity candidate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first thought is your child was a diversity candidate.

That's because you're a troll. A trashy troll, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the bottom line is that when you have this kind of success, many people will be jealous and bitter. You need to be extremely self deprecating, and pretend that there is nothing special about your child, or else some people will get pissy.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, when our first DC was admitted to a Big 3, we encountered two different sets of acquaintances who were clearly shocked since we are so undistinguished in comparison to their pedigrees and professional accomplishments. But we only told folks when asked and were largely self-deprecating. Luck plays a large role in PK admissions, so how can one really brag, even if inclined? FWIW, both DCs are doing quite well and seem to be good fits for the school. It is largely a numbers game, alas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes

Well, then its just plain envy, and let it wash off you. Soon your DC will be at Sidwell and you will be meeting plenty of other nice people who somehow managed to "get in" as well. Good luck to your DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes

Well, then its just plain envy, and let it wash off you. Soon your DC will be at Sidwell and you will be meeting plenty of other nice people who somehow managed to "get in" as well. Good luck to your DC.

Actually, soon you'll be one of the parents who believes everything the administration tells them. Great -- just what we need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because I think OP was tone deaf on this issue doesn't mean I have sour grapes about her child's success. FWIW my kids have had their share of acceptances and rejections at "several of the top 5 schools" as well. Oops, now I'm humble bragging.

Same here! We turned these top privates down for magnets, and now DC is going to an ivy.

Guess what? I posted that OP is clueless and tone deaf, and I believe that. When people asked me about colleges, I had a ready answer that involved a lot of eyerolling about luck and how DC fit a really special niche (not a hook) they needed, all to make it seem like this wasn't a judgment on their kids. It's not hard to be kind and thoughtful in this process, and it costs nothing when you're already really happy about your own kid's outcome. It just seems like OP is absorbed in her own wonderfulness that she doesn't want to make the effort.

But is he going to a Top Ivy?

Just playing with you, PP. You know, you really don't have to put on an act with the eyerolling (so unflattering), etc. Nor do you have to say that your child will go to school "in NJ" or "in Connecticut" or even "in Boston." Nobody's that awestruck or cowed or envious, primarily because we all know this isn't such a momentous event. Enjoy your child's accomplishment and luck (there's always an element of each) and be genuine in wishing the other parents and their children well.

PP here. You sound like you need to hear this. You're a total loser! Sorry your kid is going to Podunk U, while you waste your time missing the point of threads. (Reading comprehension is tough, isn't it? Or maybe you're an alky and that's why you can't understand what's going on on this thread.) But at least you can get some sad little kicks abusing anonymous internet posters. I hope you and your kid have good lives anyway, although that seems unlikely....

Kids are at an Ivy (a Top one, I assure you). Oh, and we turned down a magnet. I just don't think any of this entitles me to put on a disingenuous show of modesty. It's unnecessary and silly because getting into these schools isn't a golden ticket. But, hey, good luck to you too in addressing your anger management issues.