Anyone else experience this when discussing school choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Kids are at an Ivy (a Top one, I assure you). Oh, and we turned down a magnet. I just don't think any of this entitles me to put on a disingenuous show of modesty. It's unnecessary and silly because getting into these schools isn't a golden ticket. But, hey, good luck to you too in addressing your anger management issues.

When did all these trashy people arrive on DCUM? People who mock basic courtesy: it's fine to be smug like OP, but it's "disingenuous" to be modest. I suppose this is where I could launch into a long lecture about empathy, being kind to your less fortunate friends because that's what friends do for each other, yadda yadda. I'm sure it would fall on deaf ears, because so many of you think that success gives you the right to be immodest and uncaring. On second thought, scrap "trashy." Some of you verge on the sociopathic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a great deal less of the connections thing once you are talking about middle and high school. In PK, K, yes, it is much more about the parents or connections. By 6th, 7th, etc... It is more about the kid's record and character. Yes, connections can still help but generally only if they are at the very very top of power and wealth and legacy.

I have seen people in this town who think they are super wealthy, super powerful, and believe their kid is therefore a shoe-in to say, STA or Sidwell, only to be denied by both, as well as at their "back up" choices of Landon and Potomac (these schools are not, to my mind, back-ups at all by the way, ergo my use if quotations).

I have also seen the well connected old Washingtonian type, legacy Dad use every ounce of power and influence he has to get his kid into some "top school" only to have to pull that child out the next year because the child was completely academically incapable of keeping up. All I can think in the second scenario, is "POOR KID. Who does that that to their child?"

+1 so agree with your observation. The emotional and self esteem damage done to these kids because mom and dad want to say junior is at "x" school at the cocktail party is so selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC was accepted to several of the top 5 schools mentioned here. We have not mentioned the schools to other families at our current school. We chose one and now that the dust has settled and families are beginning to discuss the next step I feel that some famiies who I am certain applied to the school our DC will attend, and who may or may not have been offered a spot, are a bit standoffish. It's not like I ever bring it up but if they ask I answer and always ask where their DC is going in return as it seems to be the polite thing to do but what's with the attitude once they learn about were our child is going? Has anyone else experienced this? Or is it more of a now that we are all going separate ways I dont have to pretend to be nice thing? Not sure which is worse.

Honestly, they probably never liked you to begin with. Now they don't have to fake it since you are in the same school. Where you are going has nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

This is why probably no woman will ever be elected president. Collective insanity on this thread. On the other hand, women commit many fewer murders and don't appear to start wars. So there's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Kids are at an Ivy (a Top one, I assure you). Oh, and we turned down a magnet. I just don't think any of this entitles me to put on a disingenuous show of modesty. It's unnecessary and silly because getting into these schools isn't a golden ticket. But, hey, good luck to you too in addressing your anger management issues.

Columbia mom with two kids there, is that you? No, this is a troll, and the ivy and magnet stuff is BS.

Sociopathy is one possible explanation. Another is class -- old money vs. new money. If this family had been going to HYP for generations instead of being flashy up-and-comers (if you even believe the ivy/magnet stuff, but for argument's sake let's go with it), this PP would have learned a few things about quiet modesty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why probably no woman will ever be elected president. Collective insanity on this thread. On the other hand, women commit many fewer murders and don't appear to start wars. So there's that.

And you're proof that the secret to men's power is aggressive BSing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Kids are at an Ivy (a Top one, I assure you). Oh, and we turned down a magnet. I just don't think any of this entitles me to put on a disingenuous show of modesty. It's unnecessary and silly because getting into these schools isn't a golden ticket. But, hey, good luck to you too in addressing your anger management issues.

When did all these trashy people arrive on DCUM? People who mock basic courtesy: it's fine to be smug like OP, but it's "disingenuous" to be modest. I suppose this is where I could launch into a long lecture about empathy, being kind to your less fortunate friends because that's what friends do for each other, yadda yadda. I'm sure it would fall on deaf ears, because so many of you think that success gives you the right to be immodest and uncaring. On second thought, scrap "trashy." Some of you verge on the sociopathic.

Yadda yadda yadda. The fake modesty is also ridiculous and patronizing. Little ol' me who go into Harvard? How stupid does that sound? Being kind to the less fortunate (who did not get into a top 3...so less fortunate). Immodest and uncaring? Why the whole burden on OP? Try to be an adult in your emotions and actions with others!

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are still reading this post... Over the weeks since the news I have attended some functions. The did not get in crowd said some pretty amazingly inappropriate things to DS. An adult taking to a child, really? There is no need to "rub it in" but I found that some parent will approach to "find out how" did one DC get a yes and another a no. While at the same time, attended functions for those who are preparing to go, or already went. Completely different reactions. Support.

My conclusion: some of your former friends and acquaintances will still be there, but some will not. You new group is the new school. Hope your DC is young so you have time to build your friendships. If not, they will come to you -- there is an element of BTDT with support for new people in the school. Best of luck and no need to listen to the ones that can't seem to control their feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Kids are at an Ivy (a Top one, I assure you). Oh, and we turned down a magnet. I just don't think any of this entitles me to put on a disingenuous show of modesty. It's unnecessary and silly because getting into these schools isn't a golden ticket. But, hey, good luck to you too in addressing your anger management issues.

When did all these trashy people arrive on DCUM? People who mock basic courtesy: it's fine to be smug like OP, but it's "disingenuous" to be modest. I suppose this is where I could launch into a long lecture about empathy, being kind to your less fortunate friends because that's what friends do for each other, yadda yadda. I'm sure it would fall on deaf ears, because so many of you think that success gives you the right to be immodest and uncaring. On second thought, scrap "trashy." Some of you verge on the sociopathic.

Yadda yadda yadda. The fake modesty is also ridiculous and patronizing. Little ol' me who go into Harvard? How stupid does that sound? Being kind to the less fortunate (who did not get into a top 3...so less fortunate). Immodest and uncaring? Why the whole burden on OP? Try to be an adult in your emotions and actions with others!

The eye-rolling PP is not so different from OP's phony cluelessness. Both are variations of faux modesty. Both want to wallow in the feeling that other parents are envious or cowed.

[Anonymous]

So let's be clear about what you're saying. Strip your argument down to the basics, and you're claiming that all "modesty" is false because real empathy doesn't exist.

Therefore, you're saying, any attempt at modesty is (a) pointless (because the parents asking about schools had it coming) and (b) fake (you don't think empathy exists). OP should let her smug flag fly because we're all smug bastards underneath it all.

I'm saying you're whacked, and you guys are real pieces of work.
1. Yes, empathy does exist. (Do I even have to type that?) Scientists have documented this, so there's some hard research on it.
2. Even if you're right and real empathy doesn't exist, altruism exists.
3. In genuine conversation, facial tics and gestures match what you're saying. Any discussion of luck, whether you believe your DC was just lucky or is actually a really special snowflake, needs some eyerolling or other gestures to be convincing -- just not a theatrical amount of eyerolling that betrays any underlying smugness. You can't say "best of luck!" while the corner of your mouth turns up in a sneer. (Do I really have to type this?)

Yes, tacky sociopath. Or maybe you have a fairly normal gene set but you're one of those entitled-feeling nouveaux-riches ("I've got mine!") and it'll wear off by the next generation. The rest of us can only hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So let's be clear about what you're saying. Strip your argument down to the basics, and you're claiming that all "modesty" is false because real empathy doesn't exist.

Therefore, you're saying, any attempt at modesty is (a) pointless (because the parents asking about schools had it coming) and (b) fake (you don't think empathy exists). OP should let her smug flag fly because we're all smug bastards underneath it all.

I'm saying you're whacked, and you guys are real pieces of work.
1. Yes, empathy does exist. (Do I even have to type that?) Scientists have documented this, so there's some hard research on it.
2. Even if you're right and real empathy doesn't exist, altruism exists.
3. In genuine conversation, facial tics and gestures match what you're saying. Any discussion of luck, whether you believe your DC was just lucky or is actually a really special snowflake, needs some eyerolling or other gestures to be convincing -- just not a theatrical amount of eyerolling that betrays any underlying smugness. You can't say "best of luck!" while the corner of your mouth turns up in a sneer. (Do I really have to type this?)

Yes, tacky sociopath. Or maybe you have a fairly normal gene set but you're one of those entitled-feeling nouveaux-riches ("I've got mine!") and it'll wear off by the next generation. The rest of us can only hope.

Once you do the eyerolling thing, how much longer is it till your head starts spinning around? That's something I don't want to miss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So let's be clear about what you're saying. Strip your argument down to the basics, and you're claiming that all "modesty" is false because real empathy doesn't exist.

Therefore, you're saying, any attempt at modesty is (a) pointless (because the parents asking about schools had it coming) and (b) fake (you don't think empathy exists). OP should let her smug flag fly because we're all smug bastards underneath it all.

I'm saying you're whacked, and you guys are real pieces of work.
1. Yes, empathy does exist. (Do I even have to type that?) Scientists have documented this, so there's some hard research on it.
2. Even if you're right and real empathy doesn't exist, altruism exists.
3. In genuine conversation, facial tics and gestures match what you're saying. Any discussion of luck, whether you believe your DC was just lucky or is actually a really special snowflake, needs some eyerolling or other gestures to be convincing -- just not a theatrical amount of eyerolling that betrays any underlying smugness. You can't say "best of luck!" while the corner of your mouth turns up in a sneer. (Do I really have to type this?)

Yes, tacky sociopath. Or maybe you have a fairly normal gene set but you're one of those entitled-feeling nouveaux-riches ("I've got mine!") and it'll wear off by the next generation. The rest of us can only hope.

You are too dumb to worry about an elite private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So let's be clear about what you're saying. Strip your argument down to the basics, and you're claiming that all "modesty" is false because real empathy doesn't exist.

Therefore, you're saying, any attempt at modesty is (a) pointless (because the parents asking about schools had it coming) and (b) fake (you don't think empathy exists). OP should let her smug flag fly because we're all smug bastards underneath it all.

I'm saying you're whacked, and you guys are real pieces of work.
1. Yes, empathy does exist. (Do I even have to type that?) Scientists have documented this, so there's some hard research on it.
2. Even if you're right and real empathy doesn't exist, altruism exists.
3. In genuine conversation, facial tics and gestures match what you're saying. Any discussion of luck, whether you believe your DC was just lucky or is actually a really special snowflake, needs some eyerolling or other gestures to be convincing -- just not a theatrical amount of eyerolling that betrays any underlying smugness. You can't say "best of luck!" while the corner of your mouth turns up in a sneer. (Do I really have to type this?)

Yes, tacky sociopath. Or maybe you have a fairly normal gene set but you're one of those entitled-feeling nouveaux-riches ("I've got mine!") and it'll wear off by the next generation. The rest of us can only hope.

You are too dumb to worry about an elite private school.

OK, fat boy, we're tired of this. Let's cut to the chase. Which are you: sociopath or flashy, trashy new money?

You can just tell us, it's anonymous.

[Anonymous]

Did poster answer regarding diversity candidate? Whenever I see major multiple acceptances it is most often the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did poster answer regarding diversity candidate? Whenever I see major multiple acceptances it is most often the case.

Uh huh. And how often do you, in your vast experience as a bored troll on DCUM, see "multiple acceptances"?