Wedding Woes: would this offend you?

[Anonymous]

"We ARE Jewish. Well, except the new DIL who is only converting."

Soounds like the same author who wrote about her husband staying out all night and the one about hitting her sister Thanksgiving.

Busted again, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the invitation is correct from an etiquette standpoint.
However, if you are Jewish, it's traditional to include the groom's parents. Is this why you are so upset?

We ARE Jewish. Well, except the new DIL who is only converting. Dh and I just feel horrible. Our son said no to us coming to their eloping. It's embarrassing to think our friends and family may ask why we aren't listed on the invite.

And what do you mean by "only" converting?

Personally, etiquette aside, I do think it's a bit rude not to include the names of both parents on the invite. I understand the reasoning behind the brides' parents pay, so the invite is "from" them. However, I do think it is nice to include the groom's parents' names. However, given the etiquette rules, I don't think you should be "embarrassed" since guests will simply think that the brides' parents are paying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We ARE Jewish. Well, except the new DIL who is only converting."

Soounds like the same author who wrote about her husband staying out all night and the one about hitting her sister Thanksgiving.

Busted again, OP!

Link please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You gave them $1,500 and you expect to have a serious say this matter??!! Lady, are you always this cheap?

OP here. $1500 is a LOT of money! I don't know why you think giving so much, plus all the other expenses indicates cheapness, but that is rude and hurtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gave them $1,500 and you expect to have a serious say this matter??!! Lady, are you always this cheap?

OP here. $1500 is a LOT of money! I don't know why you think giving so much, plus all the other expenses indicates cheapness, but that is rude and hurtful.

OK, troll, joke's over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gave them $1,500 and you expect to have a serious say this matter??!! Lady, are you always this cheap?

OP here. $1500 is a LOT of money! I don't know why you think giving so much, plus all the other expenses indicates cheapness, but that is rude and hurtful.

$1500 is a lot of money in its own right. It's also a lot of money if it's a contribution to a $3000 wedding. It's not a lot of money if it's a $15 or $20 or $50K wedding.

The other expenses "don't count". Sorry, OP.

Are you a troll or are you for real?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gave them $1,500 and you expect to have a serious say this matter??!! Lady, are you always this cheap?

OP here. $1500 is a LOT of money! I don't know why you think giving so much, plus all the other expenses indicates cheapness, but that is rude and hurtful.

$1500 is a lot of money in its own right. It's also a lot of money if it's a contribution to a $3000 wedding. It's not a lot of money if it's a $15 or $20 or $50K wedding.

The other expenses "don't count". Sorry, OP.

Are you a troll or are you for real?

It's a con. Pay attention!

[Anonymous]

OP: You are 100% wrong. It is hard to imagine why you are even asking this question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, the tradition is that whoever is paying - traditionally the bride's family - is hosting. They're already going out of their way to accommodate your wishes. Did you really refuse to pay for anything?

We gave them about $1500, which my son said covers a little less than half of one of the events. But, we also had to pay to re-new our passports, buy clothing for the weekend, pay to fly across the country and into Mexico, pay for the hotel, pay for all the meals not included in the wedding. Plus our other child is out of work, and so our son is paying to fly her to Mexico and back, and we are paying for her hotel room plus for her passport and meals while there.

You sound cheap and bitter. Pay up and shut up! It's your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the invitation is correct from an etiquette standpoint.
However, if you are Jewish, it's traditional to include the groom's parents. Is this why you are so upset?

We ARE Jewish. Well, except the new DIL who is only converting. Dh and I just feel horrible. Our son said no to us coming to their eloping. It's embarrassing to think our friends and family may ask why we aren't listed on the invite.

If this was posted 5 years ago I would swear you're my MIL. I'm not Jewish. DH is. His parents live across the country and had the same reaction to our wedding invite, when my parents paid for 90% of it (with us paying the other 10%, not them). That was the beginning of my discomfort with my in laws. Why was our wedding invitation about them? And why should I ignore proper etiquette, which I wanted to stick to for our wedding, because of them? My parents who were footing the bill on top of it were not interested in sharing top billing on the invitation. It created a lot of stress. Fast forward to five years later and i can't stand my in laws. Everything is about them. Everything we do hurts their feelings. I don't spend literally every waking moment of a visit with them, and I must not like them enough, their feelings are hurt. We don't fly out for every birthday, christmas, etc and again, it must be because we don't like them enough or think something isn't good enough. It never stops. Tread carefully, MIL, and remember, this wedding is NOT about you, your husband, or your feelings. It's about your son and your new DIL and celebrating their happiness and their decision to spend their lives together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: You are 100% wrong. It is hard to imagine why you are even asking this question.

+1 it's fairly shocking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have said congratulations. Would it be acceptable if your dad and I witnessed your wedding at the courthouse? (Insert elope place).

Then have dinner with the brides family too.

Then give them a check for the grand you put out and say
This is for the two of you to start life together.
For things you might need now or later.

We love you and hope we can do more as your two
Grow and build your family.


Now that would have been a good start with the new
Bride.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gave them $1,500 and you expect to have a serious say this matter??!! Lady, are you always this cheap?

OP here. $1500 is a LOT of money! I don't know why you think giving so much, plus all the other expenses indicates cheapness, but that is rude and hurtful.

$1500 is a lot of money in its own right. It's also a lot of money if it's a contribution to a $3000 wedding. It's not a lot of money if it's a $15 or $20 or $50K wedding.

The other expenses "don't count". Sorry, OP.

Are you a troll or are you for real?

It's a con. Pay attention!

Let's hope so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You gave them $1,500 and you expect to have a serious say this matter??!! Lady, are you always this cheap?

OP here. $1500 is a LOT of money! I don't know why you think giving so much, plus all the other expenses indicates cheapness, but that is rude and hurtful.

What self respecting jew does not have $1500 to spare without batting an eye?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If her parents are paying for it, they should be the ones on the invite. For our wedding, we paid for most of it with both of our parents making small contributions. We put both of their names on the invite.

+1

You can do it the old-fashioned way, "Mary and Robert Jones request the honor of your presence at the wedding of their daughter Carol Marie to Brian Adam, son of Nancy and Peter Fisher" or the modern way, "Carol Marie Jones and Brian Adam Fisher, together with their parents, request the honor of your presence at their wedding on blah blah day."

Traditionally the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, right?