Question for SAHMS..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember feeling like I wanted to be a SAHM when I had my newborn but returned to work. I could have been a SAHM if I wanted it badly enough, but I like getting a paycheck, and I like having a career and identity outside of family life. I think it was better for my marriage, too. For those of us who returned to work and are successful it is sometimes easy to frown upon others who did not take the same route.

SAHMs, are you happy with your decision? What will you do when the children are in school full time? Do you plan to ever return to the work world and are you concerned with being left behind by the younger people who would then be your competition? When you look back over the years will you feel like you've had years of self indulgence, lived the good life, are happy about how you spent your time or feel like you could have done more? Not trying to be negative, just wondering.

I have to wonder, when a working parent asks a question like this, if they've actually ever spent 10 hours taking care of a one and three year old? Self-indulgent? It is not easy to care for small children all day, and certainly not an opportunity for me to be 'self-indulgent.' Well, certainly not any more than I was at work, where I could frequently take breaks throughout the day to compose my thoughts, went to the bathroom by myself, ate lunch when I wanted to, took a walk if I wanted to, stayed late if I wanted to etc.... Not that I am suggesting working is self-indulgent, but SAH isn't necessarily either. You're post has judgement written all over it. Why do you frown upon people who make different choices than you? Do you appreciate it if a SAH parent "frowns" upon your choice to outsource the care of your children to other people? After all, you ARE missing out on a big chunk of their childhood, like it or not. You are probably gone 40 to 50 hours a week, and alot of growth and development goes on in that time in those early years and you are simply not there for it. Does that worry you a great deal? Not trying to be negative, just wondering.

I am a working mom now, but was a SAHM when my kids were small. SAHMs are a group are the biggest collection of whiners and complainers I have ever seen. Working full time AND comming home and doing a second shift is so much more difficult that staying at home. Being a SAHM, if you take half advantage of it, means hours each week at the gym, lunches with your friends, and fun outings with the kids. If I were not so sensible I would have stayed at home and continued my EASY life. Working was a wake up to reality.

[Anonymous]

I am a working mom now, but was a SAHM when my kids were small. SAHMs are a group are the biggest collection of whiners and complainers I have ever seen. Working full time AND comming home and doing a second shift is so much more difficult that staying at home. Being a SAHM, if you take half advantage of it, means hours each week at the gym, lunches with your friends, and fun outings with the kids. If I were not so sensible I would have stayed at home and continued my EASY life. Working was a wake up to reality.

Did that post make your feel warm and fuzzy inside? Why post if you are on here to spew your judgmental bitching? I don't find you to be sensible at all - asinine is a better word for you.

[Anonymous]

If taking care of kids was such a pleasant experience nannies would be doing it for free.

And most of them won't even do household chores.

Taking care of it all is HARD WORK and any woman trying to dismiss the value of a house maker should be ashamed of herself.

There's no time for friends or manicures if you take the job seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
SAHMs, are you happy with your decision? What will you do when the children are in school full time? Do you plan to ever return to the work world and are you concerned with being left behind by the younger people who would then be your competition? When you look back over the years will you feel like you've had years of self indulgence, lived the good life, are happy about how you spent your time or feel like you could have done more? Not trying to be negative, just wondering.

I went back to work after staying home 9 years with the kids. I don't feel I had 9 years of self indulgence. I do feel they were 9 very good years!

I do miss the leisure time we were starting to get as the kids were in school longer and were a LOT more self sufficient in many ways. The last two years I had more time to do things I wanted, not just what needed to be done -- garden, exercise, read, go to lectures. Now I am back in the workforce and life is very stressful and hectic All.The.Time. I hope I'll get back in the swign of things after being back working a year. It's been a tough transition.

I don't feel the young whippersnappers at work have anything on me, although they certainly can stay later than I can because they don't have kids. They seem a little immature, though -- petty trhings seem to bother them much more than they do me. In terms of skills, I'm as good at my job as I was before kids.

I really enjoy having the money. So I'm glad I'm working. but not for anything would I have missed those early years being home with the kids, not if I could have helped it. I cherish those years and memories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
SAHMs, are you happy with your decision? What will you do when the children are in school full time? Do you plan to ever return to the work world and are you concerned with being left behind by the younger people who would then be your competition? When you look back over the years will you feel like you've had years of self indulgence, lived the good life, are happy about how you spent your time or feel like you could have done more? Not trying to be negative, just wondering.

I went back to work after staying home 9 years with the kids. I don't feel I had 9 years of self indulgence. I do feel they were 9 very good years!

I do miss the leisure time we were starting to get as the kids were in school longer and were a LOT more self sufficient in many ways. The last two years I had more time to do things I wanted, not just what needed to be done -- garden, exercise, read, go to lectures. Now I am back in the workforce and life is very stressful and hectic All.The.Time. I hope I'll get back in the swign of things after being back working a year. It's been a tough transition.

I don't feel the young whippersnappers at work have anything on me, although they certainly can stay later than I can because they don't have kids. They seem a little immature, though -- petty trhings seem to bother them much more than they do me. In terms of skills, I'm as good at my job as I was before kids.

I really enjoy having the money. So I'm glad I'm working. but not for anything would I have missed those early years being home with the kids, not if I could have helped it. I cherish those years and memories.

Best post of this thread. Love hearing your perspective. I think you capture the whole picture. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:" But she does have a gorgeous face.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Bet you're hotter Angie just never did it for me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am a working mom now, but was a SAHM when my kids were small. SAHMs are a group are the biggest collection of whiners and complainers I have ever seen. Working full time AND comming home and doing a second shift is so much more difficult that staying at home. Being a SAHM, if you take half advantage of it, means hours each week at the gym, lunches with your friends, and fun outings with the kids. If I were not so sensible I would have stayed at home and continued my EASY life. Working was a wake up to reality.

Did that post make your feel warm and fuzzy inside? Why post if you are on here to spew your judgmental bitching? I don't find you to be sensible at all - asinine is a better word for you.

I don't know, she's got an interesting point...Seems to be a double edged sword...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[quote

Did that post make your feel warm and fuzzy inside? Why post if you are on here to spew your judgmental bitching? I don't find you to be sensible at all - asinine is a better word for you.

Okay, again with the name calling. Why can't we share our opinions without some people losing their cool? Talk about a conversation killer. Ick.

[Anonymous]

These SAHMs lives so incredibly dull. Everyone reading this is thinking the same thing but is afraid to say it. Sorry to be so blunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These SAHMs lives so incredibly dull. Everyone reading this is thinking the same thing but is afraid to say it. Sorry to be so blunt.

You act as if SAHMs have never had a job. I worked for a long time and there were definitely times that was dull as well! Please do share what kind of exciting career you have that always keeps you on your toes and popping out of bed each morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a working mom now, but was a SAHM when my kids were small. SAHMs are a group are the biggest collection of whiners and complainers I have ever seen. Working full time AND comming home and doing a second shift is so much more difficult that staying at home. Being a SAHM, if you take half advantage of it, means hours each week at the gym, lunches with your friends, and fun outings with the kids. If I were not so sensible I would have stayed at home and continued my EASY life. Working was a wake up to reality.

You must have hung out with the wrong group of SAHMs. I work part-time out of the house so I am somewhere in the middle but do consider myself a SAHM. I never have time to be at the gym or have lunch with friends...perhaps if your children are in school all day, this is an option. My DD is 18 months old and with me all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
SAHMs, are you happy with your decision? What will you do when the children are in school full time? Do you plan to ever return to the work world and are you concerned with being left behind by the younger people who would then be your competition? When you look back over the years will you feel like you've had years of self indulgence, lived the good life, are happy about how you spent your time or feel like you could have done more? Not trying to be negative, just wondering.

I went back to work after staying home 9 years with the kids. I don't feel I had 9 years of self indulgence. I do feel they were 9 very good years!

I do miss the leisure time we were starting to get as the kids were in school longer and were a LOT more self sufficient in many ways. The last two years I had more time to do things I wanted, not just what needed to be done -- garden, exercise, read, go to lectures. Now I am back in the workforce and life is very stressful and hectic All.The.Time. I hope I'll get back in the swign of things after being back working a year. It's been a tough transition.

I don't feel the young whippersnappers at work have anything on me, although they certainly can stay later than I can because they don't have kids. They seem a little immature, though -- petty trhings seem to bother them much more than they do me. In terms of skills, I'm as good at my job as I was before kids.

I really enjoy having the money. So I'm glad I'm working. but not for anything would I have missed those early years being home with the kids, not if I could have helped it. I cherish those years and memories.

Absolutely perfect. And I agree with you. Those early years at home with my kids went by way too fast. And they are so precious to me. My kids are older. Two are away at college and the others will follow very shortly. I am ready to go back to work. I was offered a job last week and am seriously considering it. But I wouldn't have missed those early years for anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These SAHMs lives so incredibly dull. Everyone reading this is thinking the same thing but is afraid to say it. Sorry to be so blunt.

My life as a SAHM is many things. But I can say with complete honesty that's it's never been "dull". Dull actually sounds kind of nice right now. I could use some down time.

[Anonymous]

"I really enjoy having the money. So I'm glad I'm working. but not for anything would I have missed those early years being home with the kids, not if I could have helped it. I cherish those years and memories. "

And DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These SAHMs lives so incredibly dull. Everyone reading this is thinking the same thing but is afraid to say it. Sorry to be so blunt.

Deadly dull.