Question for SAHMS..

[Anonymous]

"I clean, but it doesn't take long. And the administrative side of running a house (bills, activity scheduling, medical appointments, social scheduling, holiday/birthday gifts, car check-ups, service people, dealing with a rental house, etc.) actually doesn't take any more time than it did when I was working. "

I believe you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is all this about "taking care of the house"? I really don't understand how people honestly spend so much of their days cleaning. My house is clean / ordered, and umm, taken care of? and I am still able to work FT and parent too w/o a maid. Pin a star on me?

Um. I'm going to guess that your house stays clean because your kids are at school/daycare all day while you and your DH are at work. How would your house possibly get messy when no one lives in it during the day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You are probably gone 40 to 50 hours a week, and alot of growth and development goes on in that time in those early years and you are simply not there for it. Does that worry you a great deal? "

Does that worry DH?

Yes, but that's dad not mom. Sorry men and women are not the same - there's a reason why throughout the animal kingdom the female of the species is the primary caregiver.
There, I said it.

This sounds like a HUGE justification. The fact is there are plenty of women who weren't crazy about their job or career and are happy to quit. Others feel they need to support a husband who works with long hours/travels and can't provide much day-to-day household/childcare support. Others feel overwhelmed. All good reasons to quit but saying it is biology is just wrong. Plenty of women out there being a mom and working, doing a great job at both, for many years, all over the world.

Total cop out to say "biology." And a huge insult to SAHDs, as if they are wrong or going against nature.

To put it bluntly, most dads don't MIND missing out on parts of their kids childhood the same way women do. That's not to say that the majority of dads wouldn't like to be able to spend more time with their families, but they just don't seem to have the same kind of interest and concern that women do. And please, no comments about how I must have a crappy husband. My dh is a very loving and attentive father, most of the men I know are. But out of pretty much every couple I know, regardless of whether the wife works or stays at home, the women are the ones who worry most about their kids schooling, friends, nutrition, etc. In fact, I've even seen this with a friend of mine who works and has a sah husband. Must be something to it. Just sayin'.

I get your point, but it doesn't really ring true in my family. We both work and I do tend to do more of the child care related stuff like remebering to schedule dr. appointments, researching things, etc. But my husband is infinitley more patient with a sick child than me, and is absolutely great about getting up in the night etc. I tend to worry more and he is more laid back. Frankly a lot of the stuff I worry about has proven to be a huge waste of time. I spent months researching childcare and we ended up getting into my husband's employer based daycare center which is awesome. I spent months reading up on BFing only to find I really needed to learn by practicing and working with LCs. Honestly, I remind myself every day to be more like my husband.

Why is it that there are never any dads who post on this site, or baby-center, or any of the myriad parenting sites? I once saw a website geared for sahd's and the forums were nothing but the wives of sahd's (generally complaining that their husbands weren't doing nearly as much as they would do in the same position) My husband does somethings with our kids better than I do as well, but it amazes me that although he is a wonderful and caring father, I will overhear him have phone conversations with friends who hasn't spoken with for a few months (who are also dads) and the subject of their kids barely comes up. Work, football, politics, but hardly a word about their kids! I couldn't imagine not mentioning my kids to a mom friend that I hadn't spoken to for months.
Somehow, I tend to think this isn't simply due to social conditioning, because the females of all species are the primary care-givers of their young.

This is completely not true in my family or social circles. Maybe it's because dads with SAH wives are less involved with their kids in your circle. This doesn't ring true for me. Comparisons to the animal kingdom are getting stupid. Are you the same poster? A lot of males in the animal kingdom completely abandon their mate and kids and have nothing to do with them. I hope you expect more of the father of your children. Also some male animals may have hundreds of babies. Most American dads likely have 1-3 at least in this area. If you want to stay home, stay home, but don't blame it on nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I clean, but it doesn't take long. And the administrative side of running a house (bills, activity scheduling, medical appointments, social scheduling, holiday/birthday gifts, car check-ups, service people, dealing with a rental house, etc.) actually doesn't take any more time than it did when I was working. "

I believe you.

Who cares if it doesn't take any longer for sahm's to do these things? It's not a contest of who works harder sahm or working moms. I wanted to be a sahm because I didn't want to work harder after having kids. I want to be able to have more time to spend with and enjoy my children, without all the outside pressures. Life as a sahm is busy enough to keep from being bored, but relaxed enough to enjoy it, which is exactly the way I like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You are probably gone 40 to 50 hours a week, and alot of growth and development goes on in that time in those early years and you are simply not there for it. Does that worry you a great deal? "

Does that worry DH?

Yes, but that's dad not mom. Sorry men and women are not the same - there's a reason why throughout the animal kingdom the female of the species is the primary caregiver.
There, I said it.

This sounds like a HUGE justification. The fact is there are plenty of women who weren't crazy about their job or career and are happy to quit. Others feel they need to support a husband who works with long hours/travels and can't provide much day-to-day household/childcare support. Others feel overwhelmed. All good reasons to quit but saying it is biology is just wrong. Plenty of women out there being a mom and working, doing a great job at both, for many years, all over the world.

Total cop out to say "biology." And a huge insult to SAHDs, as if they are wrong or going against nature.

To put it bluntly, most dads don't MIND missing out on parts of their kids childhood the same way women do. That's not to say that the majority of dads wouldn't like to be able to spend more time with their families, but they just don't seem to have the same kind of interest and concern that women do. And please, no comments about how I must have a crappy husband. My dh is a very loving and attentive father, most of the men I know are. But out of pretty much every couple I know, regardless of whether the wife works or stays at home, the women are the ones who worry most about their kids schooling, friends, nutrition, etc. In fact, I've even seen this with a friend of mine who works and has a sah husband. Must be something to it. Just sayin'.

I get your point, but it doesn't really ring true in my family. We both work and I do tend to do more of the child care related stuff like remebering to schedule dr. appointments, researching things, etc. But my husband is infinitley more patient with a sick child than me, and is absolutely great about getting up in the night etc. I tend to worry more and he is more laid back. Frankly a lot of the stuff I worry about has proven to be a huge waste of time. I spent months researching childcare and we ended up getting into my husband's employer based daycare center which is awesome. I spent months reading up on BFing only to find I really needed to learn by practicing and working with LCs. Honestly, I remind myself every day to be more like my husband.

Why is it that there are never any dads who post on this site, or baby-center, or any of the myriad parenting sites? I once saw a website geared for sahd's and the forums were nothing but the wives of sahd's (generally complaining that their husbands weren't doing nearly as much as they would do in the same position) My husband does somethings with our kids better than I do as well, but it amazes me that although he is a wonderful and caring father, I will overhear him have phone conversations with friends who hasn't spoken with for a few months (who are also dads) and the subject of their kids barely comes up. Work, football, politics, but hardly a word about their kids! I couldn't imagine not mentioning my kids to a mom friend that I hadn't spoken to for months.
Somehow, I tend to think this isn't simply due to social conditioning, because the females of all species are the primary care-givers of their young.

This is completely not true in my family or social circles. Maybe it's because dads with SAH wives are less involved with their kids in your circle. This doesn't ring true for me. Comparisons to the animal kingdom are getting stupid. Are you the same poster? A lot of males in the animal kingdom completely abandon their mate and kids and have nothing to do with them. I hope you expect more of the father of your children. Also some male animals may have hundreds of babies. Most American dads likely have 1-3 at least in this area. If you want to stay home, stay home, but don't blame it on nature.

Yeah, and I suppose your husband is spending time on parenting sites getting into debates over child-rearing as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You really can't see how a house gets messier quicker when people are IN it rather than OUT of it??? "

Clean as you go.

Right. Which explains why, if you are an at-home parent, your day is filled with, basically, child care and household stuff. You are caring for the children, doing things with them, as well as doing all the day-to-day housekeeping. Cleaning up after the kids or helping them to learn to clean up after themselves, fixing breakfast, lunch snacks and dinner, doing the shopping and prepping and cooking (around the kids and their needs), etc. etc. etc. Not rocket science, not difficult -- but yes, it does take time.

So in response to the poster saying, "What is all this talk about taking care of the house? How can you clean all day" -- that's not what people are talking about. They mean, "cleaning as you go".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've worked PT, FT, and hard core FT (60+ hours per week). Now I'm a SAHM. I spend significantly more time with our kids, talking, playing, running errands together, cooking, everything. My big indulgence if working out, which I do every day (I run 4 days a week and can be home before DH goes to work, and if he's traveling I just do a workout video at night).

Since I've been home, I've been responsible for everything regarding the house and just about everything regarding the kids. So, our weekends and evenings are much more relaxed. I clean, but it doesn't take long. And the administrative side of running a house (bills, activity scheduling, medical appointments, social scheduling, holiday/birthday gifts, car check-ups, service people, dealing with a rental house, etc.) actually doesn't take any more time than it did when I was working. The big difference for me is having so much more time with our kids. It's why I'm home, and I love it.

I believe you too! Since I went back to work, I don't clean any less than when I was a SAHM. But now my husband and I have to spend a lot more time evenings and weekends getting chores done -- way less relaxing than when I was a SAHM. And I miss the stressfree time with the kids -- now it is always go go go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You are probably gone 40 to 50 hours a week, and alot of growth and development goes on in that time in those early years and you are simply not there for it. Does that worry you a great deal? "

Does that worry DH?

Yes, but that's dad not mom. Sorry men and women are not the same - there's a reason why throughout the animal kingdom the female of the species is the primary caregiver.
There, I said it.

This sounds like a HUGE justification. The fact is there are plenty of women who weren't crazy about their job or career and are happy to quit. Others feel they need to support a husband who works with long hours/travels and can't provide much day-to-day household/childcare support. Others feel overwhelmed. All good reasons to quit but saying it is biology is just wrong. Plenty of women out there being a mom and working, doing a great job at both, for many years, all over the world.

Total cop out to say "biology." And a huge insult to SAHDs, as if they are wrong or going against nature.

To put it bluntly, most dads don't MIND missing out on parts of their kids childhood the same way women do. That's not to say that the majority of dads wouldn't like to be able to spend more time with their families, but they just don't seem to have the same kind of interest and concern that women do. And please, no comments about how I must have a crappy husband. My dh is a very loving and attentive father, most of the men I know are. But out of pretty much every couple I know, regardless of whether the wife works or stays at home, the women are the ones who worry most about their kids schooling, friends, nutrition, etc. In fact, I've even seen this with a friend of mine who works and has a sah husband. Must be something to it. Just sayin'.

I get your point, but it doesn't really ring true in my family. We both work and I do tend to do more of the child care related stuff like remebering to schedule dr. appointments, researching things, etc. But my husband is infinitley more patient with a sick child than me, and is absolutely great about getting up in the night etc. I tend to worry more and he is more laid back. Frankly a lot of the stuff I worry about has proven to be a huge waste of time. I spent months researching childcare and we ended up getting into my husband's employer based daycare center which is awesome. I spent months reading up on BFing only to find I really needed to learn by practicing and working with LCs. Honestly, I remind myself every day to be more like my husband.

Why is it that there are never any dads who post on this site, or baby-center, or any of the myriad parenting sites? I once saw a website geared for sahd's and the forums were nothing but the wives of sahd's (generally complaining that their husbands weren't doing nearly as much as they would do in the same position) My husband does somethings with our kids better than I do as well, but it amazes me that although he is a wonderful and caring father, I will overhear him have phone conversations with friends who hasn't spoken with for a few months (who are also dads) and the subject of their kids barely comes up. Work, football, politics, but hardly a word about their kids! I couldn't imagine not mentioning my kids to a mom friend that I hadn't spoken to for months.
Somehow, I tend to think this isn't simply due to social conditioning, because the females of all species are the primary care-givers of their young.

This is completely not true in my family or social circles. Maybe it's because dads with SAH wives are less involved with their kids in your circle. This doesn't ring true for me. Comparisons to the animal kingdom are getting stupid. Are you the same poster? A lot of males in the animal kingdom completely abandon their mate and kids and have nothing to do with them. I hope you expect more of the father of your children. Also some male animals may have hundreds of babies. Most American dads likely have 1-3 at least in this area. If you want to stay home, stay home, but don't blame it on nature.

Yeah, and I suppose your husband is spending time on parenting sites getting into debates over child-rearing as well.

Yes, but debating child-rearing on the internet doesn't make us better parents. In fact, chalk another one up for my husband as to why he is a better parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but debating child-rearing on the internet doesn't make us better parents. In fact, chalk another one up for my husband as to why he is a better parent.

Yes, my DH refuses to engage in any conversations about what "other people" say or do regarding child-rearing if/when we've never met them because they live in the computer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You are probably gone 40 to 50 hours a week, and alot of growth and development goes on in that time in those early years and you are simply not there for it. Does that worry you a great deal? "

Does that worry DH?

Yes, but that's dad not mom. Sorry men and women are not the same - there's a reason why throughout the animal kingdom the female of the species is the primary caregiver.
There, I said it.

This sounds like a HUGE justification. The fact is there are plenty of women who weren't crazy about their job or career and are happy to quit. Others feel they need to support a husband who works with long hours/travels and can't provide much day-to-day household/childcare support. Others feel overwhelmed. All good reasons to quit but saying it is biology is just wrong. Plenty of women out there being a mom and working, doing a great job at both, for many years, all over the world.

Total cop out to say "biology." And a huge insult to SAHDs, as if they are wrong or going against nature.

To put it bluntly, most dads don't MIND missing out on parts of their kids childhood the same way women do. That's not to say that the majority of dads wouldn't like to be able to spend more time with their families, but they just don't seem to have the same kind of interest and concern that women do. And please, no comments about how I must have a crappy husband. My dh is a very loving and attentive father, most of the men I know are. But out of pretty much every couple I know, regardless of whether the wife works or stays at home, the women are the ones who worry most about their kids schooling, friends, nutrition, etc. In fact, I've even seen this with a friend of mine who works and has a sah husband. Must be something to it. Just sayin'.

I get your point, but it doesn't really ring true in my family. We both work and I do tend to do more of the child care related stuff like remebering to schedule dr. appointments, researching things, etc. But my husband is infinitley more patient with a sick child than me, and is absolutely great about getting up in the night etc. I tend to worry more and he is more laid back. Frankly a lot of the stuff I worry about has proven to be a huge waste of time. I spent months researching childcare and we ended up getting into my husband's employer based daycare center which is awesome. I spent months reading up on BFing only to find I really needed to learn by practicing and working with LCs. Honestly, I remind myself every day to be more like my husband.

Why is it that there are never any dads who post on this site, or baby-center, or any of the myriad parenting sites? I once saw a website geared for sahd's and the forums were nothing but the wives of sahd's (generally complaining that their husbands weren't doing nearly as much as they would do in the same position) My husband does somethings with our kids better than I do as well, but it amazes me that although he is a wonderful and caring father, I will overhear him have phone conversations with friends who hasn't spoken with for a few months (who are also dads) and the subject of their kids barely comes up. Work, football, politics, but hardly a word about their kids! I couldn't imagine not mentioning my kids to a mom friend that I hadn't spoken to for months.
Somehow, I tend to think this isn't simply due to social conditioning, because the females of all species are the primary care-givers of their young.

This is completely not true in my family or social circles. Maybe it's because dads with SAH wives are less involved with their kids in your circle. This doesn't ring true for me. Comparisons to the animal kingdom are getting stupid. Are you the same poster? A lot of males in the animal kingdom completely abandon their mate and kids and have nothing to do with them. I hope you expect more of the father of your children. Also some male animals may have hundreds of babies. Most American dads likely have 1-3 at least in this area. If you want to stay home, stay home, but don't blame it on nature.

Yeah, and I suppose your husband is spending time on parenting sites getting into debates over child-rearing as well.

Yes, but debating child-rearing on the internet doesn't make us better parents. In fact, chalk another one up for my husband as to why he is a better parent.

But it is evidence that you, as most other moms spend more thought and concern over children's issues than men do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yeah, and I suppose your husband is spending time on parenting sites getting into debates over child-rearing as well.

Yes, but debating child-rearing on the internet doesn't make us better parents. In fact, chalk another one up for my husband as to why he is a better parent.

But it is evidence that you, as most other moms spend more thought and concern over children's issues than men do.

I'll be the first to admit I always get sucked into reading these SAHM/WM threads, but I'm not sure I would say they reflect "thought and concern over children's issues." They always seem to devolve into attacks based on insecurity and rationalization why "our" choice is better for our child than "their" choice.

[Anonymous]

Totally disagree that a mom arguing on DCUM is giving any concern to her children, and that includes me. If you think being a SAHM and ignoring your kids so you can express concern about issues related to them to a bunch of anonymous women, that is ridiculous. I'm here for the train wrecks and laughs, not because it makes me a better parent. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You are probably gone 40 to 50 hours a week, and alot of growth and development goes on in that time in those early years and you are simply not there for it. Does that worry you a great deal? "

Does that worry DH?

Yes, but that's dad not mom. Sorry men and women are not the same - there's a reason why throughout the animal kingdom the female of the species is the primary caregiver.
There, I said it.

This sounds like a HUGE justification. The fact is there are plenty of women who weren't crazy about their job or career and are happy to quit. Others feel they need to support a husband who works with long hours/travels and can't provide much day-to-day household/childcare support. Others feel overwhelmed. All good reasons to quit but saying it is biology is just wrong. Plenty of women out there being a mom and working, doing a great job at both, for many years, all over the world.

Total cop out to say "biology." And a huge insult to SAHDs, as if they are wrong or going against nature.

To put it bluntly, most dads don't MIND missing out on parts of their kids childhood the same way women do. That's not to say that the majority of dads wouldn't like to be able to spend more time with their families, but they just don't seem to have the same kind of interest and concern that women do. And please, no comments about how I must have a crappy husband. My dh is a very loving and attentive father, most of the men I know are. But out of pretty much every couple I know, regardless of whether the wife works or stays at home, the women are the ones who worry most about their kids schooling, friends, nutrition, etc. In fact, I've even seen this with a friend of mine who works and has a sah husband. Must be something to it. Just sayin'.

I get your point, but it doesn't really ring true in my family. We both work and I do tend to do more of the child care related stuff like remebering to schedule dr. appointments, researching things, etc. But my husband is infinitley more patient with a sick child than me, and is absolutely great about getting up in the night etc. I tend to worry more and he is more laid back. Frankly a lot of the stuff I worry about has proven to be a huge waste of time. I spent months researching childcare and we ended up getting into my husband's employer based daycare center which is awesome. I spent months reading up on BFing only to find I really needed to learn by practicing and working with LCs. Honestly, I remind myself every day to be more like my husband.

Why is it that there are never any dads who post on this site, or baby-center, or any of the myriad parenting sites? I once saw a website geared for sahd's and the forums were nothing but the wives of sahd's (generally complaining that their husbands weren't doing nearly as much as they would do in the same position) My husband does somethings with our kids better than I do as well, but it amazes me that although he is a wonderful and caring father, I will overhear him have phone conversations with friends who hasn't spoken with for a few months (who are also dads) and the subject of their kids barely comes up. Work, football, politics, but hardly a word about their kids! I couldn't imagine not mentioning my kids to a mom friend that I hadn't spoken to for months.
Somehow, I tend to think this isn't simply due to social conditioning, because the females of all species are the primary care-givers of their young.

This is completely not true in my family or social circles. Maybe it's because dads with SAH wives are less involved with their kids in your circle. This doesn't ring true for me. Comparisons to the animal kingdom are getting stupid. Are you the same poster? A lot of males in the animal kingdom completely abandon their mate and kids and have nothing to do with them. I hope you expect more of the father of your children. Also some male animals may have hundreds of babies. Most American dads likely have 1-3 at least in this area. If you want to stay home, stay home, but don't blame it on nature.

Yeah, and I suppose your husband is spending time on parenting sites getting into debates over child-rearing as well.

Yes, but debating child-rearing on the internet doesn't make us better parents. In fact, chalk another one up for my husband as to why he is a better parent.

But it is evidence that you, as most other moms spend more thought and concern over children's issues than men do.

Nope, no evidence there. I would argue the exact opposite. Dicking around on a SAHM/WM thread doesn't make you concerned about your kid. It just means you're dicking around on DCUM. Let's call it what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I clean, but it doesn't take long. And the administrative side of running a house (bills, activity scheduling, medical appointments, social scheduling, holiday/birthday gifts, car check-ups, service people, dealing with a rental house, etc.) actually doesn't take any more time than it did when I was working. "

I believe you.

Who cares if it doesn't take any longer for sahm's to do these things? It's not a contest of who works harder sahm or working moms. I wanted to be a sahm because I didn't want to work harder after having kids. I want to be able to have more time to spend with and enjoy my children, without all the outside pressures. Life as a sahm is busy enough to keep from being bored, but relaxed enough to enjoy it, which is exactly the way I like it.

Same reason why I chose to SAH too! I want to enjoy this time with my children and not rush around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You are probably gone 40 to 50 hours a week, and alot of growth and development goes on in that time in those early years and you are simply not there for it. Does that worry you a great deal? "

Does that worry DH?

Yes, but that's dad not mom. Sorry men and women are not the same - there's a reason why throughout the animal kingdom the female of the species is the primary caregiver.
There, I said it.

This sounds like a HUGE justification. The fact is there are plenty of women who weren't crazy about their job or career and are happy to quit. Others feel they need to support a husband who works with long hours/travels and can't provide much day-to-day household/childcare support. Others feel overwhelmed. All good reasons to quit but saying it is biology is just wrong. Plenty of women out there being a mom and working, doing a great job at both, for many years, all over the world.

Total cop out to say "biology." And a huge insult to SAHDs, as if they are wrong or going against nature.

To put it bluntly, most dads don't MIND missing out on parts of their kids childhood the same way women do. That's not to say that the majority of dads wouldn't like to be able to spend more time with their families, but they just don't seem to have the same kind of interest and concern that women do. And please, no comments about how I must have a crappy husband. My dh is a very loving and attentive father, most of the men I know are. But out of pretty much every couple I know, regardless of whether the wife works or stays at home, the women are the ones who worry most about their kids schooling, friends, nutrition, etc. In fact, I've even seen this with a friend of mine who works and has a sah husband. Must be something to it. Just sayin'.

I get your point, but it doesn't really ring true in my family. We both work and I do tend to do more of the child care related stuff like remebering to schedule dr. appointments, researching things, etc. But my husband is infinitley more patient with a sick child than me, and is absolutely great about getting up in the night etc. I tend to worry more and he is more laid back. Frankly a lot of the stuff I worry about has proven to be a huge waste of time. I spent months researching childcare and we ended up getting into my husband's employer based daycare center which is awesome. I spent months reading up on BFing only to find I really needed to learn by practicing and working with LCs. Honestly, I remind myself every day to be more like my husband.

Why is it that there are never any dads who post on this site, or baby-center, or any of the myriad parenting sites? I once saw a website geared for sahd's and the forums were nothing but the wives of sahd's (generally complaining that their husbands weren't doing nearly as much as they would do in the same position) My husband does somethings with our kids better than I do as well, but it amazes me that although he is a wonderful and caring father, I will overhear him have phone conversations with friends who hasn't spoken with for a few months (who are also dads) and the subject of their kids barely comes up. Work, football, politics, but hardly a word about their kids! I couldn't imagine not mentioning my kids to a mom friend that I hadn't spoken to for months.
Somehow, I tend to think this isn't simply due to social conditioning, because the females of all species are the primary care-givers of their young.

This is completely not true in my family or social circles. Maybe it's because dads with SAH wives are less involved with their kids in your circle. This doesn't ring true for me. Comparisons to the animal kingdom are getting stupid. Are you the same poster? A lot of males in the animal kingdom completely abandon their mate and kids and have nothing to do with them. I hope you expect more of the father of your children. Also some male animals may have hundreds of babies. Most American dads likely have 1-3 at least in this area. If you want to stay home, stay home, but don't blame it on nature.

Yeah, and I suppose your husband is spending time on parenting sites getting into debates over child-rearing as well.

Yes, but debating child-rearing on the internet doesn't make us better parents. In fact, chalk another one up for my husband as to why he is a better parent.

But it is evidence that you, as most other moms spend more thought and concern over children's issues than men do.

Nope, no evidence there. I would argue the exact opposite. Dicking around on a SAHM/WM thread doesn't make you concerned about your kid. It just means you're dicking around on DCUM. Let's call it what it is.

No, but it shows where your INTERESTS lie. I certainly don't think that women who argue on these threads are better parents or more concerned about their kids than people who don't, but I find it telling that it's pretty much EXCLUSIVELY women on sites like these, whereas men prefer to dick around on money/new/sports sites.