Should a DW have to earn her role as a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I don't WANT to do any of those things but I do them anyways.
It's 950 am, I have a 2 and 4 year old. So far (since 630 am)
I have
Gotten them up, dressed, fed, changed and trimmed both of their hair, cut nails
Played outside for 30 minutes digging in their little garden. Cleaned them up from that
Put laundry in, folded and put away laundry
Prepped food and put in crockpot for dinner
Did 3 puzzles, practiced writing and reading 3 letter words with older one, DEF with younger one (tracing) and counting. Older child now sitting and doing number stickers (on his pants)
Do I pass?

You guys played outside today? it is totally freezing!

I noticed that too; you sound amazing but digging in their garden this morning? What were you doing, explaining the concept of permafrost? Are you not in the DC area, by any chance?

My kids like digging in the frozen dirt. They scratch away at it and pretend they're digging up fossils.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP with kids digging outside today. I grew up in Canada. And it is about 40 where I live in the Carolinas. They do go out for about a half hour in the cold, they are boys and absolutely have to run around or they won't nap. I predict I will be the mom who makes her kids run laps around the house before school

Are you sure you are not having a manic episode?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I don't WANT to do any of those things but I do them anyways.
It's 950 am, I have a 2 and 4 year old. So far (since 630 am)
I have
Gotten them up, dressed, fed, changed and trimmed both of their hair, cut nails
Played outside for 30 minutes digging in their little garden. Cleaned them up from that
Put laundry in, folded and put away laundry
Prepped food and put in crockpot for dinner
Did 3 puzzles, practiced writing and reading 3 letter words with older one, DEF with younger one (tracing) and counting. Older child now sitting and doing number stickers (on his pants)
Do I pass?

You guys played outside today? it is totally freezing!

I noticed that too; you sound amazing but digging in their garden this morning? What were you doing, explaining the concept of permafrost? Are you not in the DC area, by any chance?

My kids like digging in the frozen dirt. They scratch away at it and pretend they're digging up fossils.

My kids like taking a pic ax to the frozen ground and pretending to be coal miners. They also like walking 5 miles to school barefoot in the snow.

[Anonymous]

How does she take care of the kids is the defining question? If she's a good mom then nothing else matters, she is doing her job perfectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does she take care of the kids is the defining question? If she's a good mom then nothing else matters, she is doing her job perfectly.

+100

Buf she still needs to be a good wife to her husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I don't WANT to do any of those things but I do them anyways.
It's 950 am, I have a 2 and 4 year old. So far (since 630 am)
I have
Gotten them up, dressed, fed, changed and trimmed both of their hair, cut nails
Played outside for 30 minutes digging in their little garden. Cleaned them up from that
Put laundry in, folded and put away laundry
Prepped food and put in crockpot for dinner
Did 3 puzzles, practiced writing and reading 3 letter words with older one, DEF with younger one (tracing) and counting. Older child now sitting and doing number stickers (on his pants)
Do I pass?

I did all that too and I work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does she take care of the kids is the defining question? If she's a good mom then nothing else matters, she is doing her job perfectly.

+100

Buf she still needs to be a good wife to her husband

What part of "nothing else matters" don't you understand?

[Anonymous]

It's not about "earning" anything. It's not necessarily a cakewalk. It's about working. Any partner has to be willing to work to contribute to their family. For some, that's achieved by working. For others, it's by staying home and saving the cost of daycare and another commute, the stress of finding backup child care in weather/health situations, doing the shopping/cooking/cleaning/bulk of the child rearing, handling the school and activity stuff, taking the kids to all appointments so working parent can work, etc. I didn't "earn" the right to any of that- that's how I contribute to my family right now. The situation you have described- there's nothing being contributed to the family in that scenario. That person is simply a drain on the family's resources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I don't WANT to do any of those things but I do them anyways.
It's 950 am, I have a 2 and 4 year old. So far (since 630 am)
I have
Gotten them up, dressed, fed, changed and trimmed both of their hair, cut nails
Played outside for 30 minutes digging in their little garden. Cleaned them up from that
Put laundry in, folded and put away laundry
Prepped food and put in crockpot for dinner
Did 3 puzzles, practiced writing and reading 3 letter words with older one, DEF with younger one (tracing) and counting. Older child now sitting and doing number stickers (on his pants)
Do I pass?

I did all that too and I work.

You did not do all that with your kids before work, get real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I don't WANT to do any of those things but I do them anyways.
It's 950 am, I have a 2 and 4 year old. So far (since 630 am)
I have
Gotten them up, dressed, fed, changed and trimmed both of their hair, cut nails
Played outside for 30 minutes digging in their little garden. Cleaned them up from that
Put laundry in, folded and put away laundry
Prepped food and put in crockpot for dinner
Did 3 puzzles, practiced writing and reading 3 letter words with older one, DEF with younger one (tracing) and counting. Older child now sitting and doing number stickers (on his pants)
Do I pass?

I did all that too and I work.

You did not do all that with your kids before work, get real.

It's a holiday. Of course I didn't do literally the same thing, but I did the equivalent and got some work done, also. So sick of the SAHM martyr card. It just is not. that. hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I don't WANT to do any of those things but I do them anyways.
It's 950 am, I have a 2 and 4 year old. So far (since 630 am)
I have
Gotten them up, dressed, fed, changed and trimmed both of their hair, cut nails
Played outside for 30 minutes digging in their little garden. Cleaned them up from that
Put laundry in, folded and put away laundry
Prepped food and put in crockpot for dinner
Did 3 puzzles, practiced writing and reading 3 letter words with older one, DEF with younger one (tracing) and counting. Older child now sitting and doing number stickers (on his pants)
Do I pass?

I did all that too and I work.

You did not do all that with your kids before work, get real.

It's a holiday. Of course I didn't do literally the same thing, but I did the equivalent and got some work done, also. So sick of the SAHM martyr card. It just is not. that. hard.

Same goes for the WOHM card. Sitting in an office, getting a lunch break, chatting with adults, and all they have to do is handle dinner and bedtime!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I don't WANT to do any of those things but I do them anyways.
It's 950 am, I have a 2 and 4 year old. So far (since 630 am)
I have
Gotten them up, dressed, fed, changed and trimmed both of their hair, cut nails
Played outside for 30 minutes digging in their little garden. Cleaned them up from that
Put laundry in, folded and put away laundry
Prepped food and put in crockpot for dinner
Did 3 puzzles, practiced writing and reading 3 letter words with older one, DEF with younger one (tracing) and counting. Older child now sitting and doing number stickers (on his pants)
Do I pass?

I did all that too and I work.

You did not do all that with your kids before work, get real.

It's a holiday. Of course I didn't do literally the same thing, but I did the equivalent and got some work done, also. So sick of the SAHM martyr card. It just is not. that. hard.

Here's your gold star.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I don't WANT to do any of those things but I do them anyways.
It's 950 am, I have a 2 and 4 year old. So far (since 630 am)
I have
Gotten them up, dressed, fed, changed and trimmed both of their hair, cut nails
Played outside for 30 minutes digging in their little garden. Cleaned them up from that
Put laundry in, folded and put away laundry
Prepped food and put in crockpot for dinner
Did 3 puzzles, practiced writing and reading 3 letter words with older one, DEF with younger one (tracing) and counting. Older child now sitting and doing number stickers (on his pants)
Do I pass?

I did all that too and I work.

Congrats. That's not the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I don't WANT to do any of those things but I do them anyways.
It's 950 am, I have a 2 and 4 year old. So far (since 630 am)
I have
Gotten them up, dressed, fed, changed and trimmed both of their hair, cut nails
Played outside for 30 minutes digging in their little garden. Cleaned them up from that
Put laundry in, folded and put away laundry
Prepped food and put in crockpot for dinner
Did 3 puzzles, practiced writing and reading 3 letter words with older one, DEF with younger one (tracing) and counting. Older child now sitting and doing number stickers (on his pants)
Do I pass?

I did all that too and I work.

You did not do all that with your kids before work, get real.

It's a holiday. Of course I didn't do literally the same thing, but I did the equivalent and got some work done, also. So sick of the SAHM martyr card. It just is not. that. hard.

Same goes for the WOHM card. Sitting in an office, getting a lunch break, chatting with adults, and all they have to do is handle dinner and bedtime!

While I do bring in half the income of our family, my job doesn't give me enough to pay for a driver to afterschool programs, a daily tutor and coach to help with homework and studying and teach them new tasks, a maid to clean up and do laundry, a cook, a personal shopper, and a financial planner. BTW, I haven't taken a lunch break beyond checking dcum for 10 minutes till before kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I don't WANT to do any of those things but I do them anyways.
It's 950 am, I have a 2 and 4 year old. So far (since 630 am)
I have
Gotten them up, dressed, fed, changed and trimmed both of their hair, cut nails
Played outside for 30 minutes digging in their little garden. Cleaned them up from that
Put laundry in, folded and put away laundry
Prepped food and put in crockpot for dinner
Did 3 puzzles, practiced writing and reading 3 letter words with older one, DEF with younger one (tracing) and counting. Older child now sitting and doing number stickers (on his pants)
Do I pass?

I did all that too and I work.

I did all that while performing surgery. It's not that hard