Should a DW have to earn her role as a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally? Unless there are special needs children, or you have hundreds of millions of dollars, no reason to have either parent SAH.

Cool then don't. Are you the person who decides what everyone else should do? Can you provide your contact info?

No, I will not provide my contact info. I was answering the question, "Should a DW have to earn her role as a SAHM?" Sorry you don't like my opinion.

It's funny that you act like the PP was dogmatic in "not liking your opinion" when your opinion is in fact extremely dogmatic and totally rude towards a large group of people (not to mention a large portion of posters on this site).

Seriously. Everyone has to work unless you have hundreds of millions of dollars? Some of us are quite thrilled with a couple hundred thousand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally? Unless there are special needs children, or you have hundreds of millions of dollars, no reason to have either parent SAH.

Cool then don't. Are you the person who decides what everyone else should do? Can you provide your contact info?

No, I will not provide my contact info. I was answering the question, "Should a DW have to earn her role as a SAHM?" Sorry you don't like my opinion.

It's funny that you act like the PP was dogmatic in "not liking your opinion" when your opinion is in fact extremely dogmatic and totally rude towards a large group of people (not to mention a large portion of posters on this site).

How is it rude? That's her opinion. I agree with it. Nothing she said was rude. Stop being so defensive - it isn't a good look.

Yeah, if you could stop sockpuppeting and own that you are the same person, that would be great...

Nope. I'm the person who posted the comment that began "Personally." Another poster sees this was not an attack, and has chimed in.

You fail so hard, sock puppet accuser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM and my kids are in school and college. I have time, energy and resources on my hand and I have outsourced some of the household work. I am lucky I married a good man who is a high earner and can support a family financially. I worked before I stayed at home and have multiple degrees in my chosen field. I have used my education to help supplement my kid's public school education and they are in top magnet programs and colleges. We are financially very secure because we have always lived below our means.

I do not have to earn anything for my own existence, however, there were things I wanted in my marriage, for my kids, for our lifestyle and for our financial future, and we have achieved those. In the end, the kind of house and home I have is a result of our (DH and I) combined vision and effort.

I find it pathetic when women claim that earning a pay gives them equality. Does that mean that if they choose to stay home their husbands will not consider them equal or respect them? In that case, what kind of losers have they married?

I totally agree with everything youve said.

Also, most of the women who seem to be opposed to SAHMs dont seem to be doing it out of genuine concern for "inequality"- such as, the genuine risk that happens for a SAHM if a divorce happens, in terms of reentering the workplace. No, they seem to be more having a tantrum over "it's not fair!" and if you prod them over it they will say disgusting things like, "just because you have a vagina doesnt mean you dont have to work!"

It makes me wonder if these people are just misogynistic angry men trolling and pretending to be SAHMs... but it blows my mind how much women can hate other women, especially when they feel that another woman has gotten a "larger slice of pie" than them.

I think it's mainly rooted in jealousy.

And I remember one SAHM hater, when prodded, admitted she had a very poor relationship with her own mother. I think the hatred of SAHMs comes from people who have issues with the female gender as a whole, and hate SAHMing because they see it as the epitome of feminine behavior. JMO.

Why would SAH be the epitome of feminine behavior? Meaning, depending on a man for money? Is THAT what you or this school of thought thinks is feminine?

In our culture, sure- that would be considered feminine. Also just having your life essentially centered around the act of mothering- extremely traditionally feminine.

This is a strange statement. Do you assume that women who don't work have their life centered around mothering?

Maybe it is a product of my environment, but I see plenty of SAHM in my community with FT nannies and AuPairs, which leads me to the conclusion that when given the option and opportunity, many women still choose a life outside of their kids. Some go to work, some go to tennis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG... SAHM are so incredibly sad. You do realize that no matter how much you bitch and moan, some women will continue to SAHM and their husbands will support them? Right?

I don't know, I'm pretty darn happy and I feel so lucky that we can afford for me to stay at home. Most of my working friends wish they could stay home to raise their kids. And BTW, I don't clean, we have a person to do that. But I LOVE cooking fancy meals and having time to seriously train. I also love that I can spread all the week/weekend chores throughout the week. For example, I do all the laundry, grocery shopping, back to school shopping, pickup drycleaning, etc, etc. and some weekend meals during the week. When the weekend comes, we can do anything we want as a family without having to worry about chores. The whole family goes to plays, museums, games, without any hurry or worry. My husband loves coming home and just hanging out with the kids, really spending time with them. Then, when they go to bed, we have nothing to do but hang out, drink a glass of wine and relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many hours per day is she doing anything related to or with kids or home and not just indulging in "me time"? This includes bath time playing buying them clothes snack time groceries driving them places or walking them picking up their toys their laundry planning doctor appointments giving away their old clothes to goodwill or whatever organizing photo albums planning family or kid activities and outings birthday parties etc. how many kids? Any other obligations like aging parents?

Let me introduce you to a good friend, the comma!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG... SAHM are so incredibly sad. You do realize that no matter how much you bitch and moan, some women will continue to SAHM and their husbands will support them? Right?

I don't know, I'm pretty darn happy and I feel so lucky that we can afford for me to stay at home. Most of my working friends wish they could stay home to raise their kids. And BTW, I don't clean, we have a person to do that. But I LOVE cooking fancy meals and having time to seriously train. I also love that I can spread all the week/weekend chores throughout the week. For example, I do all the laundry, grocery shopping, back to school shopping, pickup drycleaning, etc, etc. and some weekend meals during the week. When the weekend comes, we can do anything we want as a family without having to worry about chores. The whole family goes to plays, museums, games, without any hurry or worry. My husband loves coming home and just hanging out with the kids, really spending time with them. Then, when they go to bed, we have nothing to do but hang out, drink a glass of wine and relax.

Reading comprehension is your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG... SAHM are so incredibly sad. You do realize that no matter how much you bitch and moan, some women will continue to SAHM and their husbands will support them? Right?

I don't know, I'm pretty darn happy and I feel so lucky that we can afford for me to stay at home. Most of my working friends wish they could stay home to raise their kids. And BTW, I don't clean, we have a person to do that. But I LOVE cooking fancy meals and having time to seriously train. I also love that I can spread all the week/weekend chores throughout the week. For example, I do all the laundry, grocery shopping, back to school shopping, pickup drycleaning, etc, etc. and some weekend meals during the week. When the weekend comes, we can do anything we want as a family without having to worry about chores. The whole family goes to plays, museums, games, without any hurry or worry. My husband loves coming home and just hanging out with the kids, really spending time with them. Then, when they go to bed, we have nothing to do but hang out, drink a glass of wine and relax.

so...when do you get intellectual stimulation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people so rude and hateful about SAHMing? Is it just jealousy, resentment or a combo?

I don't see the need for it. That's not jealousy or resentment. Also, I just relate better to women who are professionally ambitious. Very part time WOHs or poorly educated WOHMs who work full time don't do it for me either.

I agree. I have very little respect for women who waste education and depend on a man for financial support. No jealousy here at all - I could easily afford to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG... SAHM are so incredibly sad. You do realize that no matter how much you bitch and moan, some women will continue to SAHM and their husbands will support them? Right?

I don't know, I'm pretty darn happy and I feel so lucky that we can afford for me to stay at home. Most of my working friends wish they could stay home to raise their kids. And BTW, I don't clean, we have a person to do that. But I LOVE cooking fancy meals and having time to seriously train. I also love that I can spread all the week/weekend chores throughout the week. For example, I do all the laundry, grocery shopping, back to school shopping, pickup drycleaning, etc, etc. and some weekend meals during the week. When the weekend comes, we can do anything we want as a family without having to worry about chores. The whole family goes to plays, museums, games, without any hurry or worry. My husband loves coming home and just hanging out with the kids, really spending time with them. Then, when they go to bed, we have nothing to do but hang out, drink a glass of wine and relax.

You don't understand the post you were responding to....not making a SAHM "by choice" option look good here....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG... SAHM are so incredibly sad. You do realize that no matter how much you bitch and moan, some women will continue to SAHM and their husbands will support them? Right?

I don't know, I'm pretty darn happy and I feel so lucky that we can afford for me to stay at home. Most of my working friends wish they could stay home to raise their kids. And BTW, I don't clean, we have a person to do that. But I LOVE cooking fancy meals and having time to seriously train. I also love that I can spread all the week/weekend chores throughout the week. For example, I do all the laundry, grocery shopping, back to school shopping, pickup drycleaning, etc, etc. and some weekend meals during the week. When the weekend comes, we can do anything we want as a family without having to worry about chores. The whole family goes to plays, museums, games, without any hurry or worry. My husband loves coming home and just hanging out with the kids, really spending time with them. Then, when they go to bed, we have nothing to do but hang out, drink a glass of wine and relax.

so...when do you get intellectual stimulation?

She can't. Picking up that dry cleaning is practically a full-time job.

[Anonymous]

Learning to be an accomplished homemaker isn't something you can "afford" or not afford.

It's something both parents need to value (or not.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG... SAHM are so incredibly sad. You do realize that no matter how much you bitch and moan, some women will continue to SAHM and their husbands will support them? Right?

I don't know, I'm pretty darn happy and I feel so lucky that we can afford for me to stay at home. Most of my working friends wish they could stay home to raise their kids. And BTW, I don't clean, we have a person to do that. But I LOVE cooking fancy meals and having time to seriously train. I also love that I can spread all the week/weekend chores throughout the week. For example, I do all the laundry, grocery shopping, back to school shopping, pickup drycleaning, etc, etc. and some weekend meals during the week. When the weekend comes, we can do anything we want as a family without having to worry about chores. The whole family goes to plays, museums, games, without any hurry or worry. My husband loves coming home and just hanging out with the kids, really spending time with them. Then, when they go to bed, we have nothing to do but hang out, drink a glass of wine and relax.

Clap...clap...clap

I will tell you though, that I have a working mom neighbor who has THE LIFE. She has a housekeeper (no not house cleaners, but a house keeper). She comes home just before 5 each day and her house is clean, her kids have completed homework, all the errands have been run for her and her dinner is prepped and the lunches for the kids packed for the next day. She told me that she has not been grocery or costco shopping in a few years. Her house is immaculate. She is probably the least stressed out person I have ever met. I don't think you would hear her wishing she could quit that high paying job that affords her such a great life. I'm envious of the fact that when the weather is warm their whole family is outside playing around together with meat on the grill that was probably marinated by someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG... SAHM are so incredibly sad. You do realize that no matter how much you bitch and moan, some women will continue to SAHM and their husbands will support them? Right?

I don't know, I'm pretty darn happy and I feel so lucky that we can afford for me to stay at home. Most of my working friends wish they could stay home to raise their kids. And BTW, I don't clean, we have a person to do that. But I LOVE cooking fancy meals and having time to seriously train. I also love that I can spread all the week/weekend chores throughout the week. For example, I do all the laundry, grocery shopping, back to school shopping, pickup drycleaning, etc, etc. and some weekend meals during the week. When the weekend comes, we can do anything we want as a family without having to worry about chores. The whole family goes to plays, museums, games, without any hurry or worry. My husband loves coming home and just hanging out with the kids, really spending time with them. Then, when they go to bed, we have nothing to do but hang out, drink a glass of wine and relax.

You don't understand the post you were responding to....not making a SAHM "by choice" option look good here....

Yeah I was the one who wrote the original post the PP was responding to and it was talking about SAHM haters. Not trying to bash SAHMs, but not a fan of people who hate on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG... SAHM are so incredibly sad. You do realize that no matter how much you bitch and moan, some women will continue to SAHM and their husbands will support them? Right?

I don't know, I'm pretty darn happy and I feel so lucky that we can afford for me to stay at home. Most of my working friends wish they could stay home to raise their kids. And BTW, I don't clean, we have a person to do that. But I LOVE cooking fancy meals and having time to seriously train. I also love that I can spread all the week/weekend chores throughout the week. For example, I do all the laundry, grocery shopping, back to school shopping, pickup drycleaning, etc, etc. and some weekend meals during the week. When the weekend comes, we can do anything we want as a family without having to worry about chores. The whole family goes to plays, museums, games, without any hurry or worry. My husband loves coming home and just hanging out with the kids, really spending time with them. Then, when they go to bed, we have nothing to do but hang out, drink a glass of wine and relax.

So you're staying home to raise your kids, or to "seriously train" and read recipes?

If what you describe were my life, I'd be bored to tears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think that a DW should earn her role as a SAHM?

If she does not want to cook.
If she does not want to clean.
If she does not want to be more than a roommate.
If she does not want to get up and get the kids off at school.
If she does not want to do laundry.

Do you think that it is fair that she wants to go be a Stay At Home Mom?

I think yes if:
She works out a lot.
She has an amazing body even without working out.