Dating Strategy: Late Thirties Female

[Anonymous]

Every woman wants a man who makes $200k+. I wonder how common such men are and whether women compete for them. Women on this forum have told us they don't compete for men. But these $200k men are not common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In DC, I think you should look for 150k or higher. A lot of government jobs top out around 176k

Op here. I only have the income requirement because this is a very HCOL area and I’m targeting men 36+ given my age. At this point it’s not crazy to want someone to make a little more money than me. Given the track I’m on, I’ll easily make 200k myself in a few years.

As for why I’m here: I am recently divorced due to a cheating spouse who did not want kids.

At this point it is not crazy that almost all the men left who meet your criteria are only dating women 36 and younger. Everything will have to go perfectly well for you to have two kids in marriage. You'd have to meet your person today, date and be engaged after a year, married after 1.5 - 2 years, no fertility issues, no early menopause etc. Why would a man do that when he could date a woman with all your attributes who is 33 or 35?

It's different if a man has already fallen for you, say someone from work, school or your childhood, who has been waiting and praying for you to be single ( have a friend who had two men ready to pounce when she left her cheating DH). But a man who is looking to have biological children and has never met you will probably not be interested.

Now there might be some men who lie about wanting children just to get married and those who don't mind not having any but will have 1 or 2 if that is what it takes to marry a beautiful woman. You can hope to find these, but you can end up with one who will be actively praying for you not to get pregnant. That will be a mess.

Op here. You are so cruel. I’ve been dating for 3 months and I’ve already met multiple men who meet this criteria who have wanted to date me and with whom I didn’t proceed for one or another reason. Stop with the unhelpful doomsday scenarios.

People aren’t dead after 35!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please help. I am looking to marry and have a child within the next few years.

I’m looking for the following in a man:
- character and integrity
- intelligence
- income 200k+ ( I make 150k)
- wants family and a child
- interested in health and fitness
- emotionally regulated
- interested in travel

Where and how can I find my person in the dev area? Any specific professions? Neighborhoods? Places of gathering?

I’m 38, slender and am told I’m pretty and look 32. Only dates I’ve met comment on how young I look and how nice my legs are. I’ve also been told I’m “elegant” and that they want to take me to a gala.

I don’t know what that says about me.

Please help! Any guidance would be amazing!

I'm 39 and dating a man who meets all of these criteria. It's not that hard, but it is a numbers game. You need to make swiping through profiles on apps like a part time job. Read about the burn the haystack method for sorting through men, it's basically how to weed out all the low effort ones (which is like 99% of men on apps).

You say it's not that hard and at the same time says it's a part time job.

When I was on OLD I put in minimum effort and found dates. And I'm not even close to making $150k. In fact any woman who has an income filter will be a horrible match for me.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're doing great then. Why do you need any advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're doing great then. Why do you need any advice?

Op here. Because I haven’t found my person yet and want to optimize my chances of doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In DC, I think you should look for 150k or higher. A lot of government jobs top out around 176k

Op here. I only have the income requirement because this is a very HCOL area and I’m targeting men 36+ given my age. At this point it’s not crazy to want someone to make a little more money than me. Given the track I’m on, I’ll easily make 200k myself in a few years.

As for why I’m here: I am recently divorced due to a cheating spouse who did not want kids.

At this point it is not crazy that almost all the men left who meet your criteria are only dating women 36 and younger. Everything will have to go perfectly well for you to have two kids in marriage. You'd have to meet your person today, date and be engaged after a year, married after 1.5 - 2 years, no fertility issues, no early menopause etc. Why would a man do that when he could date a woman with all your attributes who is 33 or 35?

It's different if a man has already fallen for you, say someone from work, school or your childhood, who has been waiting and praying for you to be single ( have a friend who had two men ready to pounce when she left her cheating DH). But a man who is looking to have biological children and has never met you will probably not be interested.

Now there might be some men who lie about wanting children just to get married and those who don't mind not having any but will have 1 or 2 if that is what it takes to marry a beautiful woman. You can hope to find these, but you can end up with one who will be actively praying for you not to get pregnant. That will be a mess.

Op here. You are so cruel. I’ve been dating for 3 months and I’ve already met multiple men who meet this criteria who have wanted to date me and with whom I didn’t proceed for one or another reason. Stop with the unhelpful doomsday scenarios.

People aren’t dead after 35!

Good! Sounds like meeting men isn't the problem - it's finding one who's willing to propose and start having babies quickly. How are you going to make sure they aren't wasting your time like your ex-husband? You could do what my grandmother told me to do when I was dating for marriage - "no ring, no thing," she liked to say. Keep your options and don't commit until you have a proposal. This is like 1950s advice, but it might work for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In DC, I think you should look for 150k or higher. A lot of government jobs top out around 176k

Op here. I only have the income requirement because this is a very HCOL area and I’m targeting men 36+ given my age. At this point it’s not crazy to want someone to make a little more money than me. Given the track I’m on, I’ll easily make 200k myself in a few years.

As for why I’m here: I am recently divorced due to a cheating spouse who did not want kids.

At this point it is not crazy that almost all the men left who meet your criteria are only dating women 36 and younger. Everything will have to go perfectly well for you to have two kids in marriage. You'd have to meet your person today, date and be engaged after a year, married after 1.5 - 2 years, no fertility issues, no early menopause etc. Why would a man do that when he could date a woman with all your attributes who is 33 or 35?

It's different if a man has already fallen for you, say someone from work, school or your childhood, who has been waiting and praying for you to be single ( have a friend who had two men ready to pounce when she left her cheating DH). But a man who is looking to have biological children and has never met you will probably not be interested.

Now there might be some men who lie about wanting children just to get married and those who don't mind not having any but will have 1 or 2 if that is what it takes to marry a beautiful woman. You can hope to find these, but you can end up with one who will be actively praying for you not to get pregnant. That will be a mess.

Op here. You are so cruel. I’ve been dating for 3 months and I’ve already met multiple men who meet this criteria who have wanted to date me and with whom I didn’t proceed for one or another reason. Stop with the unhelpful doomsday scenarios.

People aren’t dead after 35!

But you are still single despite meting MULTIPLE men who meet your criteria. Maybe put a front page as in the WaPost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In DC, I think you should look for 150k or higher. A lot of government jobs top out around 176k

Op here. I only have the income requirement because this is a very HCOL area and I’m targeting men 36+ given my age. At this point it’s not crazy to want someone to make a little more money than me. Given the track I’m on, I’ll easily make 200k myself in a few years.

As for why I’m here: I am recently divorced due to a cheating spouse who did not want kids.

At this point it is not crazy that almost all the men left who meet your criteria are only dating women 36 and younger. Everything will have to go perfectly well for you to have two kids in marriage. You'd have to meet your person today, date and be engaged after a year, married after 1.5 - 2 years, no fertility issues, no early menopause etc. Why would a man do that when he could date a woman with all your attributes who is 33 or 35?

It's different if a man has already fallen for you, say someone from work, school or your childhood, who has been waiting and praying for you to be single ( have a friend who had two men ready to pounce when she left her cheating DH). But a man who is looking to have biological children and has never met you will probably not be interested.

Now there might be some men who lie about wanting children just to get married and those who don't mind not having any but will have 1 or 2 if that is what it takes to marry a beautiful woman. You can hope to find these, but you can end up with one who will be actively praying for you not to get pregnant. That will be a mess.

Op here. You are so cruel. I’ve been dating for 3 months and I’ve already met multiple men who meet this criteria who have wanted to date me and with whom I didn’t proceed for one or another reason. Stop with the unhelpful doomsday scenarios.

People aren’t dead after 35!

Good! Sounds like meeting men isn't the problem - it's finding one who's willing to propose and start having babies quickly. How are you going to make sure they aren't wasting your time like your ex-husband? You could do what my grandmother told me to do when I was dating for marriage - "no ring, no thing," she liked to say. Keep your options and don't commit until you have a proposal. This is like 1950s advice, but it might work for you.

That's the worst possible advice. Forcing a man to quickly fall in love, quickly propose, quickly marry you, quickly give you a child. Boy talk about pent up resentment down the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In DC, I think you should look for 150k or higher. A lot of government jobs top out around 176k

Op here. I only have the income requirement because this is a very HCOL area and I’m targeting men 36+ given my age. At this point it’s not crazy to want someone to make a little more money than me. Given the track I’m on, I’ll easily make 200k myself in a few years.

As for why I’m here: I am recently divorced due to a cheating spouse who did not want kids.

At this point it is not crazy that almost all the men left who meet your criteria are only dating women 36 and younger. Everything will have to go perfectly well for you to have two kids in marriage. You'd have to meet your person today, date and be engaged after a year, married after 1.5 - 2 years, no fertility issues, no early menopause etc. Why would a man do that when he could date a woman with all your attributes who is 33 or 35?

It's different if a man has already fallen for you, say someone from work, school or your childhood, who has been waiting and praying for you to be single ( have a friend who had two men ready to pounce when she left her cheating DH). But a man who is looking to have biological children and has never met you will probably not be interested.

Now there might be some men who lie about wanting children just to get married and those who don't mind not having any but will have 1 or 2 if that is what it takes to marry a beautiful woman. You can hope to find these, but you can end up with one who will be actively praying for you not to get pregnant. That will be a mess.

Op here. You are so cruel. I’ve been dating for 3 months and I’ve already met multiple men who meet this criteria who have wanted to date me and with whom I didn’t proceed for one or another reason. Stop with the unhelpful doomsday scenarios.

People aren’t dead after 35!

But you are still single despite meting MULTIPLE men who meet your criteria. Maybe put a front page as in the WaPost.

OP here. You are correct. I turned down 3 offers of being a girlfriend. I’m single so far by choice because I don’t feel like I have had a strong enough connection to proceed to something serious.

[Anonymous]

Babe, star younger ambitious men. Men 36+ at this point are red flags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're doing great then. Why do you need any advice?

Op here. Because I haven’t found my person yet and want to optimize my chances of doing that.

Lower your standards or stay single. No man in his prime years with good money is going to rush to marry a 35+ woman while so many women between 25 and 30 are available.

Look for men over 55 you may have better luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In DC, I think you should look for 150k or higher. A lot of government jobs top out around 176k

Op here. I only have the income requirement because this is a very HCOL area and I’m targeting men 36+ given my age. At this point it’s not crazy to want someone to make a little more money than me. Given the track I’m on, I’ll easily make 200k myself in a few years.

As for why I’m here: I am recently divorced due to a cheating spouse who did not want kids.

At this point it is not crazy that almost all the men left who meet your criteria are only dating women 36 and younger. Everything will have to go perfectly well for you to have two kids in marriage. You'd have to meet your person today, date and be engaged after a year, married after 1.5 - 2 years, no fertility issues, no early menopause etc. Why would a man do that when he could date a woman with all your attributes who is 33 or 35?

It's different if a man has already fallen for you, say someone from work, school or your childhood, who has been waiting and praying for you to be single ( have a friend who had two men ready to pounce when she left her cheating DH). But a man who is looking to have biological children and has never met you will probably not be interested.

Now there might be some men who lie about wanting children just to get married and those who don't mind not having any but will have 1 or 2 if that is what it takes to marry a beautiful woman. You can hope to find these, but you can end up with one who will be actively praying for you not to get pregnant. That will be a mess.

Op here. You are so cruel. I’ve been dating for 3 months and I’ve already met multiple men who meet this criteria who have wanted to date me and with whom I didn’t proceed for one or another reason. Stop with the unhelpful doomsday scenarios.

People aren’t dead after 35!

But you are still single despite meting MULTIPLE men who meet your criteria. Maybe put a front page as in the WaPost.

OP here. You are correct. I turned down 3 offers of being a girlfriend. I’m single so far by choice because I don’t feel like I have had a strong enough connection to proceed to something serious.

Don't force it. Casually date. I'm 46 and recently divorced. I casually met someone who is 37. She is really into me and unfortunately I'm not into her that much. You can't force it.

[Anonymous]

Do you have self esteem issues? You stayed with your exH for too long knowing that he didn’t want a child. You don’t need a man in your live to have a baby. Have a baby by yourself if that is your priority then find a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In DC, I think you should look for 150k or higher. A lot of government jobs top out around 176k

Op here. I only have the income requirement because this is a very HCOL area and I’m targeting men 36+ given my age. At this point it’s not crazy to want someone to make a little more money than me. Given the track I’m on, I’ll easily make 200k myself in a few years.

As for why I’m here: I am recently divorced due to a cheating spouse who did not want kids.

At this point it is not crazy that almost all the men left who meet your criteria are only dating women 36 and younger. Everything will have to go perfectly well for you to have two kids in marriage. You'd have to meet your person today, date and be engaged after a year, married after 1.5 - 2 years, no fertility issues, no early menopause etc. Why would a man do that when he could date a woman with all your attributes who is 33 or 35?

It's different if a man has already fallen for you, say someone from work, school or your childhood, who has been waiting and praying for you to be single ( have a friend who had two men ready to pounce when she left her cheating DH). But a man who is looking to have biological children and has never met you will probably not be interested.

Now there might be some men who lie about wanting children just to get married and those who don't mind not having any but will have 1 or 2 if that is what it takes to marry a beautiful woman. You can hope to find these, but you can end up with one who will be actively praying for you not to get pregnant. That will be a mess.

Op here. You are so cruel. I’ve been dating for 3 months and I’ve already met multiple men who meet this criteria who have wanted to date me and with whom I didn’t proceed for one or another reason. Stop with the unhelpful doomsday scenarios.

People aren’t dead after 35!

Nature is cruel to us women. I tried having a baby at 40, and it's not happening even after several rounds of IVF. I have a married friend struggling with low ovarian reserves at 37.

Have your child by yourself and then take your time to find your person. I have a cousin who did this, and it all worked out. She has two, and her beau has one. He is tall and handsome. They are a good match. But if she waited to find him, she might not have her beautiful children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In DC, I think you should look for 150k or higher. A lot of government jobs top out around 176k

Op here. I only have the income requirement because this is a very HCOL area and I’m targeting men 36+ given my age. At this point it’s not crazy to want someone to make a little more money than me. Given the track I’m on, I’ll easily make 200k myself in a few years.

As for why I’m here: I am recently divorced due to a cheating spouse who did not want kids.

At this point it is not crazy that almost all the men left who meet your criteria are only dating women 36 and younger. Everything will have to go perfectly well for you to have two kids in marriage. You'd have to meet your person today, date and be engaged after a year, married after 1.5 - 2 years, no fertility issues, no early menopause etc. Why would a man do that when he could date a woman with all your attributes who is 33 or 35?

It's different if a man has already fallen for you, say someone from work, school or your childhood, who has been waiting and praying for you to be single ( have a friend who had two men ready to pounce when she left her cheating DH). But a man who is looking to have biological children and has never met you will probably not be interested.

Now there might be some men who lie about wanting children just to get married and those who don't mind not having any but will have 1 or 2 if that is what it takes to marry a beautiful woman. You can hope to find these, but you can end up with one who will be actively praying for you not to get pregnant. That will be a mess.

Op here. You are so cruel. I’ve been dating for 3 months and I’ve already met multiple men who meet this criteria who have wanted to date me and with whom I didn’t proceed for one or another reason. Stop with the unhelpful doomsday scenarios.

People aren’t dead after 35!

Nature is cruel to us women. I tried having a baby at 40, and it's not happening even after several rounds of IVF. I have a married friend struggling with low ovarian reserves at 37.

Have your child by yourself and then take your time to find your person. I have a cousin who did this, and it all worked out. She has two, and her beau has one. He is tall and handsome. They are a good match. But if she waited to find him, she might not have her beautiful children.

I agree. And honestly, asking for income right off the bat is a complete turn-off.