Spouse is discouraging me from working out

[Anonymous]

Are you taking any testosterone supplements?

Be careful she isn’t slipping you some Beta Force…


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S7voPx_U5EM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know any women that find "vascularity" attractive. It's a dude thing. Women generally find it and the body builder look really gross.

Fit is great, strong is great, being healthy is great.

Ultimately... do you want your spouse to find you attractive? Or is your fitness regimen (which goes beyond being fit, strong, and healthy) more important to you? Can you find a middle ground?

But you can't control it. If you get in shape you get vascular. My fitness regimen is focused on health and keeping body mass as I age. Cardio (4-5 miles in the morning) with 1 hour of weights after work. I just get vascular without trying. When you add muscle mass and lose body fat you get vascular.

Do you have kids, OP? 2 hours a day plus work is a lot of time for a hobby. You can be fit and dial it back a bit. Spacing out lifting days and alternating with cardio is actually recommended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You say you're not extreme, but you're working out twice a day.

Yup. An hour of weights a day is extreme. And will result in an aesthetic cutting back would not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s either insecure about her own body or resentful of how much time the working out is taking from family/household time. The latter really is likely if you have kids.

Is she out of shape?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling you are prioritizing working out over everything else in your life, including your wife. She's probably like "whoop-dee-doo" you are muscular.

Cool it bro. Get some balance back and show your wife some attention.

Wow, who knew taking care of your health would draw so much negativity.

I'm into fitness and exercise daily OP, but you're annoying. I'd be annoyed if I were your wife. You sound obsessed. Agree on finding some balance. Maybe run every other day, strength work on the non-run days, and one totally free/off day?

Literally tell me how doing fitness annoys my wife. I get up quietly at 445 AM. Run my 3-5 miles in 30-45 minutes. By the time I'm back in prep her breakfast before she and I even go to work. I then workout after work for 1 hour and get home at the same time because of traffic for her. So how exactly am I annoying her when my routine almost never affects her daily life? And no, me getting up early has never bothered her in over 2 years of me doing it.

She thinks you look gross and doesn't care about your bulk, muscles and veins. You know what she thinks. You're just insulted that she doesn't find your new bod as exciting as you do.

No, I’m insulted for being criticized snd bodily shamed for taking care of my health. Maybe you should start a weight training program to stave off age related diseases yourself. The benefits can be tremendous, like new research showing that strength training can help resist age relegated dementia and cognitive declines long term when you commit to training regularly:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2213158220300206?via%3Dihub


https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/weight-training-may-boost-brain-power

[Anonymous]

Are you the type that got really into fitness and now suddenly can’t stop talking about it? And celebrating yourself for making XYZ fitness/diet choices (thus, subconsciously or not, shaming others who are not making the same choices, i.e. her?) I’m guessing it’s that. Although I just read that you spend two hours a day working out, and especially if you guys have kids that’s pretty extreme.

Will say that I personally am not at all into the vascular look, but I would certainly take that over an out of shape spouse and certainly wouldn’t voice that opinion to him. I’m guessing you’ve picked up a little bit of a meathead attitude / gym obsession (aka you talk about it too much) and that’s what’s annoying her / she’s kind of wanting to take your self-congratulatory attitude down a notch or two. Is that possible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling you are prioritizing working out over everything else in your life, including your wife. She's probably like "whoop-dee-doo" you are muscular.

Cool it bro. Get some balance back and show your wife some attention.

Wow, who knew taking care of your health would draw so much negativity.

I'm into fitness and exercise daily OP, but you're annoying. I'd be annoyed if I were your wife. You sound obsessed. Agree on finding some balance. Maybe run every other day, strength work on the non-run days, and one totally free/off day?

Literally tell me how doing fitness annoys my wife. I get up quietly at 445 AM. Run my 3-5 miles in 30-45 minutes. By the time I'm back in prep her breakfast before she and I even go to work. I then workout after work for 1 hour and get home at the same time because of traffic for her. So how exactly am I annoying her when my routine almost never affects her daily life? And no, me getting up early has never bothered her in over 2 years of me doing it.

She thinks you look gross and doesn't care about your bulk, muscles and veins. You know what she thinks. You're just insulted that she doesn't find your new bod as exciting as you do.

No, I’m insulted for being criticized snd bodily shamed for taking care of my health. Maybe you should start a weight training program to stave off age related diseases yourself. The benefits can be tremendous, like new research showing that strength training can help resist age relegated dementia and cognitive declines long term when you commit to training regularly:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2213158220300206?via%3Dihub


https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/weight-training-may-boost-brain-power

Except you’re doing far more than you need to for these benefits. You’re not being shamed for being fit. You’re being shamed for going overboard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling you are prioritizing working out over everything else in your life, including your wife. She's probably like "whoop-dee-doo" you are muscular.

Cool it bro. Get some balance back and show your wife some attention.

Wow, who knew taking care of your health would draw so much negativity.

I'm into fitness and exercise daily OP, but you're annoying. I'd be annoyed if I were your wife. You sound obsessed. Agree on finding some balance. Maybe run every other day, strength work on the non-run days, and one totally free/off day?

Literally tell me how doing fitness annoys my wife. I get up quietly at 445 AM. Run my 3-5 miles in 30-45 minutes. By the time I'm back in prep her breakfast before she and I even go to work. I then workout after work for 1 hour and get home at the same time because of traffic for her. So how exactly am I annoying her when my routine almost never affects her daily life? And no, me getting up early has never bothered her in over 2 years of me doing it.

She thinks you look gross and doesn't care about your bulk, muscles and veins. You know what she thinks. You're just insulted that she doesn't find your new bod as exciting as you do.

No, I’m insulted for being criticized snd bodily shamed for taking care of my health. Maybe you should start a weight training program to stave off age related diseases yourself. The benefits can be tremendous, like new research showing that strength training can help resist age relegated dementia and cognitive declines long term when you commit to training regularly:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2213158220300206?via%3Dihub


https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/weight-training-may-boost-brain-power

Lolll I just posted (directly after the post I’m responding to here)…assuming you are OP, yes; confirming that what I said is SPOT on. You working out is fine/great…your attitude about it is a TOTAL turnoff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling you are prioritizing working out over everything else in your life, including your wife. She's probably like "whoop-dee-doo" you are muscular.

Cool it bro. Get some balance back and show your wife some attention.

Wow, who knew taking care of your health would draw so much negativity.

I'm into fitness and exercise daily OP, but you're annoying. I'd be annoyed if I were your wife. You sound obsessed. Agree on finding some balance. Maybe run every other day, strength work on the non-run days, and one totally free/off day?

Literally tell me how doing fitness annoys my wife. I get up quietly at 445 AM. Run my 3-5 miles in 30-45 minutes. By the time I'm back in prep her breakfast before she and I even go to work. I then workout after work for 1 hour and get home at the same time because of traffic for her. So how exactly am I annoying her when my routine almost never affects her daily life? And no, me getting up early has never bothered her in over 2 years of me doing it.

She thinks you look gross and doesn't care about your bulk, muscles and veins. You know what she thinks. You're just insulted that she doesn't find your new bod as exciting as you do.

No, I’m insulted for being criticized snd bodily shamed for taking care of my health. Maybe you should start a weight training program to stave off age related diseases yourself. The benefits can be tremendous, like new research showing that strength training can help resist age relegated dementia and cognitive declines long term when you commit to training regularly:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2213158220300206?via%3Dihub


https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/weight-training-may-boost-brain-power

I think you're a phony just here to push an agenda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is something "off" about the way this story, and the way it was written. Sounds like it's written by a woman, or a teenager even, but not a "man"....even though OP says "I'm just a man...".

It's written by someone in love with himself. The vascularity, shredding, muscularity, etc. The description is all a bit much.

Yes. I think this is the problem, right here

[Anonymous]

Gym twice a day is excessive. It sounds like you are prioritizing working out over everything else.

[Anonymous]

I know plenty of couples that put in lots of time training and have young kids. It’s not the time commitment here, it’s the attitude. Also, running every day and lifting every day is not productive. That’s just true. Tons of garbage miles doesn’t result in progress

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is not attracted to you that way you look. Does not matter if you are in shape or not, she is not attracted to you. What are you going to do about it? For what it is worth, I find muscular and very vascular men unattractive. It’s a huge turn off for me. So I get her expressing it, as that isn’t what she signed up for, although she may not be going about it the right way. Also, you say it is not affecting her but is your time when you are not at the gym focused directly on her at all?

Wow, that’s dangerously close to supporting a guy who says he did sign up for a fat wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling you are prioritizing working out over everything else in your life, including your wife. She's probably like "whoop-dee-doo" you are muscular.

Cool it bro. Get some balance back and show your wife some attention.

Wow, who knew taking care of your health would draw so much negativity.

I'm into fitness and exercise daily OP, but you're annoying. I'd be annoyed if I were your wife. You sound obsessed. Agree on finding some balance. Maybe run every other day, strength work on the non-run days, and one totally free/off day?

Literally tell me how doing fitness annoys my wife. I get up quietly at 445 AM. Run my 3-5 miles in 30-45 minutes. By the time I'm back in prep her breakfast before she and I even go to work. I then workout after work for 1 hour and get home at the same time because of traffic for her. So how exactly am I annoying her when my routine almost never affects her daily life? And no, me getting up early has never bothered her in over 2 years of me doing it.

She thinks you look gross and doesn't care about your bulk, muscles and veins. You know what she thinks. You're just insulted that she doesn't find your new bod as exciting as you do.

No, I’m insulted for being criticized snd bodily shamed for taking care of my health. Maybe you should start a weight training program to stave off age related diseases yourself. The benefits can be tremendous, like new research showing that strength training can help resist age relegated dementia and cognitive declines long term when you commit to training regularly:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2213158220300206?via%3Dihub


https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/weight-training-may-boost-brain-power

I think you're a phony just here to push an agenda.

What agenda do you think he’s pushing? You think he’s hear to extol the virtue of weights by annoying most of the posters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not attracted to you that way you look. Does not matter if you are in shape or not, she is not attracted to you. What are you going to do about it? For what it is worth, I find muscular and very vascular men unattractive. It’s a huge turn off for me. So I get her expressing it, as that isn’t what she signed up for, although she may not be going about it the right way. Also, you say it is not affecting her but is your time when you are not at the gym focused directly on her at all?

Wow, that’s dangerously close to supporting a guy who says he did NOT sign up for a fat wife.

Fixed missing word.