Spouse is discouraging me from working out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So when does she get 1.5 hours a day to work out? You have conveniently avoided commenting on whether or not you have kids and are shirking your responsibilities to be with them. When she has 1.5 hours a day every day where you are 💯 doing stuff for the kids and she doesn't have to, I will be on your side.

I did not avoid it.

Can you read? We. Do.Not. Have. Kids. She could exercise whenever she wants. She’s just not motivated enough to do it on a regular basis.

how long is your workday? Do yo7 work from home or do you have a commute? How are the home chores divided?

Except the part on the chores, OP answered all of these already. No kids and he does his workouts while she sleeps or before she gets home from work.

then maybe she is frustrated that she has to work longer hours

Ok, and? That’s a good reason to tear down your partner for taking care of their health?

I think the point - for both of you - is that it’s not about taking care of your health. Being healthy doesn’t require 1.5 hours of daily exercise. So what is it really about?

Not defending OP just a general statement that 1.5 hours of daily exercise is not extreme, it's actually healthy. Those who think it's extreme are saying this because they can't seem to eek out 1 hour a week.

[Anonymous]

Usually exercise improves mood, but it sounds like it's making OP rather grouchy and sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually exercise improves mood, but it sounds like it's making OP rather grouchy and sensitive.

He sounds like someone newly converted to a religion. Preaching about health, benefits, appearance and all the changes this new religion/working out has brought to his life. It can be tiresome being around someone like that. Just go do your thing and stop talking about it, flexing in the mirror, and judging her for not being saved.

[Anonymous]

OP. We get it. You think your wife is a lazy land beast. If your relationship can’t take some changes like these, it doesn’t sound particularly productive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know any women that find "vascularity" attractive. It's a dude thing. Women generally find it and the body builder look really gross.

Fit is great, strong is great, being healthy is great.

Ultimately... do you want your spouse to find you attractive? Or is your fitness regimen (which goes beyond being fit, strong, and healthy) more important to you? Can you find a middle ground?

Some women like vascularity.

But if OP is gallivanting around on his high horse about how buff he is, well that could get annoying.

[Anonymous]

OP- It sounds like your DW has a more stressful job that saps her energy. She doesn’t like it. So, she snaps at the one who is around her. You also come off as a bit of an eager beaver with exercise and maybe too high off your own exercise success to relate to her. Maybe, stop trying to get her to exercise and let her do what she wants to do in her free time.

I assume that you have also changed how you eat and how prepare for meals to go along with the exercise - to get the results you are getting. There is the possibility that you are carrying it a bit too far.

What did you and your wife do together before you got on this health kick?

[Anonymous]

OP, how does this conversation with your wife about your muscularity and vascularity usually start? Does she just look at you and makes comments or does she snap at you after 30 minutes of you talking about your regimen, it’s impacts on long term health, and the potential benefits of her embarking on a similar regime? You sound like someone who would do the latter, and most people would get defensive if treated like that. If she just comments out of the blue while you are vacuuming then that is different.

[Anonymous]

It’s amazing the depths these posters will go to blame OP. Some people (even spouses) are crabs who bring you back down. If there is any besides OP’s veins, then it’s pretty odd to defend an adult woman who cannot clear road it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It’s amazing the depths these posters will go to blame OP. Some people (even spouses) are crabs who bring you back down. If there is any issue besides OP’s veins, then it’s pretty odd to defend an adult woman who cannot clearly raise it.

Words fixed.

[Anonymous]

I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thread is proof positive why so many Americans are fat, nasty, obese slobs. So much hostility for fitness claiming it's too much time to take care of your health. It's completely laughable. 1.5 hours per day exercising between different parts of the day? Give me a break. It's not like it's spending 7 hours at the gym everyday like a professional body builder.

What a bunch of lazy couch potatoes. Posters in this thread prob spend 20-30 minutes poo pooing on an elliptical and doing arm curls with 5 lbs weights and consider it fitness. Then they wonder why they still get overweight and have lifestyle and age disease.

Heaven forbid you actually break a damn sweat.

Ah STFU. Carry something that needs to be carried, build a bridge, save a life, but grunting for grunting while staring at yourself in the mirror isn't morally superior to anything. Vanity is the fundamental sin and the mother of all vices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thread is proof positive why so many Americans are fat, nasty, obese slobs. So much hostility for fitness claiming it's too much time to take care of your health. It's completely laughable. 1.5 hours per day exercising between different parts of the day? Give me a break. It's not like it's spending 7 hours at the gym everyday like a professional body builder.

What a bunch of lazy couch potatoes. Posters in this thread prob spend 20-30 minutes poo pooing on an elliptical and doing arm curls with 5 lbs weights and consider it fitness. Then they wonder why they still get overweight and have lifestyle and age disease.

Heaven forbid you actually break a damn sweat.

Ah STFU. Carry something that needs to be carried, build a bridge, save a life, but grunting for grunting while staring at yourself in the mirror isn't morally superior to anything. Vanity is the fundamental sin and the mother of all vices.

So you watch at least 1.5 hours of TV and surf the internet instead of exercising. AMIRITE?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Lol. Or you could just eat less and smaller portion sizes of the same foods your spouse eats. You can also cutout all booze and snacks which would minorly impact your spouse as well.

So much hyperbole and ASS-U-mptions being made here. Good grief.