Spouse is discouraging me from working out

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP really is a very bad example. Not everybody that finds the time to start or return to a high level of activity that they enjoy is “going to find friction at home.” That happens as a general issue BROADLY if there is something else problematic. And, sometimes it’s one of the two partners projecting - and it goes both ways.

Meanwhile, there are tons of people that have no issue with these arrangements. You just don’t hear about it. Funny how that works out.

The issue people have friction at home is because the majority of married couples have kids and suddenly this wonderful hobby means the child care and labor division becomes severely imbalanced. Thus, friction. OP has no kids. So maybe he should just get divorced since he doesn't seem to think much of his wife and her slovenly ways and maybe someone else will really appreciate the vascularity and shredding that he is so proud of.

Do you really think everyone who runs the Marine Corp marathon is either childless or has grown children? (Just as an example).

Why would i think that based on what i said? If you have kids and a spouse time consuming hobbies can be a drag on the family. YMMV.

Because all those people with kids in the house who are running/training have friction? Isn’t that your belief? I’m sorry things are unpleasant in your house. Truly. But there is tons of projection here.

No, meat head. I never said all. Tons of projection indeed.

I read your post on friction, and I call projection. Lots of families talk to each other and make things like daily gym and even marathon training work. By the way, I am woman, far from a “meat head.”

Indeed. PP “friction poster” is an uninformed idiot. And likely has zero experience with any of this.

Meanwhile, we are taking like 1-2 hours during the week. Most people mindlessly watch that much TV a day.

Why do you keep repeating the same stupid, wrong line about “TV?” Are you writing from 1993?

Ok, how much time did you spend on DCUM today?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP really is a very bad example. Not everybody that finds the time to start or return to a high level of activity that they enjoy is “going to find friction at home.” That happens as a general issue BROADLY if there is something else problematic. And, sometimes it’s one of the two partners projecting - and it goes both ways.

Meanwhile, there are tons of people that have no issue with these arrangements. You just don’t hear about it. Funny how that works out.

The issue people have friction at home is because the majority of married couples have kids and suddenly this wonderful hobby means the child care and labor division becomes severely imbalanced. Thus, friction. OP has no kids. So maybe he should just get divorced since he doesn't seem to think much of his wife and her slovenly ways and maybe someone else will really appreciate the vascularity and shredding that he is so proud of.

Do you really think everyone who runs the Marine Corp marathon is either childless or has grown children? (Just as an example).

Why would i think that based on what i said? If you have kids and a spouse time consuming hobbies can be a drag on the family. YMMV.

Because all those people with kids in the house who are running/training have friction? Isn’t that your belief? I’m sorry things are unpleasant in your house. Truly. But there is tons of projection here.

No, meat head. I never said all. Tons of projection indeed.

Well, you (or someone) posted this, which seems close to saying the issue is common or the majority of people face it:

Basically anyone who gets super into a new fitness regime like marathons, triathlons, cycling, cross fit, or whatever probably finds friction at home. Acting like this is unique to just bodybuilding is weird.

So defensive. Wonder why?

This is the best you have. You could respond with this any time somebody posts a disagreement. This is a discussion forum. You realize this?

So, you have no experience and are making this all up. Got it.

Really? This is surprising? Probe that is makes no difference now.

https://www.runnersworld.com/uk/training/beginners/a27330852/running-relationships/

The title of the article is CAN. It uses mostly language like MAY. Did you even read it?

And, you have not refuted what is obvious. You have zero experience with any of this. Can you even run a mile?

People talk so much out of their ass here it is hilarious.

I run 20 miles a week. You haven’t been right a single time.

Oh boy. 20 miles. You must have a lot of friction at home then. It must be unbearable.

Do you have a point to make here?

Yes. Multiple posters have pointed out this is projecting nonsense. And you have yet to defend it:

“Basically anyone who gets super into a new fitness regime like marathons, triathlons, cycling, cross fit, or whatever probably finds friction at home. Acting like this is unique to just bodybuilding is weird.“

Whatever. OP is having friction in his home. But according to you that's impossible. I wonder what OP is talking about then. Because it just can't be.

Now you are just flapping around because what you wrote about “probable” is just wrong. To try and defend that, you are now claiming those pointing out how dumb what you wrote are saying it’s impossible. Not so.

OP is a very bad example and demonstrates how this can all go wrong. To assume that is more often than not is just incorrect. That’s what people keep pointing out to you.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP really is a very bad example. Not everybody that finds the time to start or return to a high level of activity that they enjoy is “going to find friction at home.” That happens as a general issue BROADLY if there is something else problematic. And, sometimes it’s one of the two partners projecting - and it goes both ways.

Meanwhile, there are tons of people that have no issue with these arrangements. You just don’t hear about it. Funny how that works out.

The issue people have friction at home is because the majority of married couples have kids and suddenly this wonderful hobby means the child care and labor division becomes severely imbalanced. Thus, friction. OP has no kids. So maybe he should just get divorced since he doesn't seem to think much of his wife and her slovenly ways and maybe someone else will really appreciate the vascularity and shredding that he is so proud of.

Do you really think everyone who runs the Marine Corp marathon is either childless or has grown children? (Just as an example).

Why would i think that based on what i said? If you have kids and a spouse time consuming hobbies can be a drag on the family. YMMV.

Because all those people with kids in the house who are running/training have friction? Isn’t that your belief? I’m sorry things are unpleasant in your house. Truly. But there is tons of projection here.

No, meat head. I never said all. Tons of projection indeed.

I read your post on friction, and I call projection. Lots of families talk to each other and make things like daily gym and even marathon training work. By the way, I am woman, far from a “meat head.”

Indeed. PP “friction poster” is an uninformed idiot. And likely has zero experience with any of this.

Meanwhile, we are taking like 1-2 hours during the week. Most people mindlessly watch that much TV a day.

Why do you keep repeating the same stupid, wrong line about “TV?” Are you writing from 1993?

Fine, how about Netflix and doom scrolling instead. Feel better now with the more contemporary reference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP really is a very bad example. Not everybody that finds the time to start or return to a high level of activity that they enjoy is “going to find friction at home.” That happens as a general issue BROADLY if there is something else problematic. And, sometimes it’s one of the two partners projecting - and it goes both ways.

Meanwhile, there are tons of people that have no issue with these arrangements. You just don’t hear about it. Funny how that works out.

The issue people have friction at home is because the majority of married couples have kids and suddenly this wonderful hobby means the child care and labor division becomes severely imbalanced. Thus, friction. OP has no kids. So maybe he should just get divorced since he doesn't seem to think much of his wife and her slovenly ways and maybe someone else will really appreciate the vascularity and shredding that he is so proud of.

Do you really think everyone who runs the Marine Corp marathon is either childless or has grown children? (Just as an example).

Why would i think that based on what i said? If you have kids and a spouse time consuming hobbies can be a drag on the family. YMMV.

Because all those people with kids in the house who are running/training have friction? Isn’t that your belief? I’m sorry things are unpleasant in your house. Truly. But there is tons of projection here.

No, meat head. I never said all. Tons of projection indeed.

Well, you (or someone) posted this, which seems close to saying the issue is common or the majority of people face it:

Basically anyone who gets super into a new fitness regime like marathons, triathlons, cycling, cross fit, or whatever probably finds friction at home. Acting like this is unique to just bodybuilding is weird.

So defensive. Wonder why?

This is the best you have. You could respond with this any time somebody posts a disagreement. This is a discussion forum. You realize this?

So, you have no experience and are making this all up. Got it.

Really? This is surprising? Probe that is makes no difference now.

https://www.runnersworld.com/uk/training/beginners/a27330852/running-relationships/

The title of the article is CAN. It uses mostly language like MAY. Did you even read it?

And, you have not refuted what is obvious. You have zero experience with any of this. Can you even run a mile?

People talk so much out of their ass here it is hilarious.

I run 20 miles a week. You haven’t been right a single time.

Oh boy. 20 miles. You must have a lot of friction at home then. It must be unbearable.

Do you have a point to make here?

Yes. Multiple posters have pointed out this is projecting nonsense. And you have yet to defend it:

“Basically anyone who gets super into a new fitness regime like marathons, triathlons, cycling, cross fit, or whatever probably finds friction at home. Acting like this is unique to just bodybuilding is weird.“

Ehhh. I think this is true if you both work and have kids, because there is so little free time to go around. TV watching is done after kids are in bed, not during prime child rearing hours in the evening. But OP doesn’t have kids, so not seeing why it would be an issue. My spouse and I had plenty of time to do whatever we wanted and still spend quality time together before kids entered the picture.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Wow we are a screwed up country. The person who doesn’t want to eat a crummy 2000 calorie meal with no nutrients is the one getting criticized.

There is a middle a middle ground.

Let me guess, your middle ground involves your spouse consuming higher calorie, nutrient poor food to make you happy rather than you consuming healthier food that he prefers?

Describe the healthier food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Wow we are a screwed up country. The person who doesn’t want to eat a crummy 2000 calorie meal with no nutrients is the one getting criticized.

There is a middle a middle ground.

Let me guess, your middle ground involves your spouse consuming higher calorie, nutrient poor food to make you happy rather than you consuming healthier food that he prefers?

First tell me what you think of the following meal:

Skinned, boneless thighs marinated in teriyaki sauce and broiled; roasted broccoli, red peppers and garlic lightly dressed in olive oil with sea salt, pepper and paprika; fruit salad with strawberries, cantaloupe, mango and red grapes; crusty really good bread from a bakery with salted Irish butter.

Is this an example of the higher calorie nutrition poor meal or like more the healthier food you prefer?

[Anonymous]

Sounds healthy and delicious to me. But some people have to skip the bread.

-new poster

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Wow we are a screwed up country. The person who doesn’t want to eat a crummy 2000 calorie meal with no nutrients is the one getting criticized.

There is a middle a middle ground.

Let me guess, your middle ground involves your spouse consuming higher calorie, nutrient poor food to make you happy rather than you consuming healthier food that he prefers?

First tell me what you think of the following meal:

Skinned, boneless thighs marinated in teriyaki sauce and broiled; roasted broccoli, red peppers and garlic lightly dressed in olive oil with sea salt, pepper and paprika; fruit salad with strawberries, cantaloupe, mango and red grapes; crusty really good bread from a bakery with salted Irish butter.

Is this an example of the higher calorie nutrition poor meal or like more the healthier food you prefer?

Are you Mrs. Raw Vegetable Plate? If yes, why are spending a summer Saturday and Sunday convincing DCUM posters that you are normal and your husband has an eating disorder? Surely there are more satisfying ways to spend your time?

[Anonymous]

No I am not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Wow we are a screwed up country. The person who doesn’t want to eat a crummy 2000 calorie meal with no nutrients is the one getting criticized.

There is a middle a middle ground.

Let me guess, your middle ground involves your spouse consuming higher calorie, nutrient poor food to make you happy rather than you consuming healthier food that he prefers?

First tell me what you think of the following meal:

Skinned, boneless thighs marinated in teriyaki sauce and broiled; roasted broccoli, red peppers and garlic lightly dressed in olive oil with sea salt, pepper and paprika; fruit salad with strawberries, cantaloupe, mango and red grapes; crusty really good bread from a bakery with salted Irish butter.

Is this an example of the higher calorie nutrition poor meal or like more the healthier food you prefer?

Are you Mrs. Raw Vegetable Plate? If yes, why are spending a summer Saturday and Sunday convincing DCUM posters that you are normal and your husband has an eating disorder? Surely there are more satisfying ways to spend your time?

Nope that wasn't me. Because of course my husband would never eat that. But you sound sort of obsessed with me. Maybe get a life?