Spouse is discouraging me from working out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Wow we are a screwed up country. The person who doesn’t want to eat a crummy 2000 calorie meal with no nutrients is the one getting criticized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So when does she get 1.5 hours a day to work out? You have conveniently avoided commenting on whether or not you have kids and are shirking your responsibilities to be with them. When she has 1.5 hours a day every day where you are 💯 doing stuff for the kids and she doesn't have to, I will be on your side.

I did not avoid it.

Can you read? We. Do.Not. Have. Kids. She could exercise whenever she wants. She’s just not motivated enough to do it on a regular basis.

how long is your workday? Do yo7 work from home or do you have a commute? How are the home chores divided?

Except the part on the chores, OP answered all of these already. No kids and he does his workouts while she sleeps or before she gets home from work.

then maybe she is frustrated that she has to work longer hours

Ok, and? That’s a good reason to tear down your partner for taking care of their health?

Well, when my DH was working many more hours than me, I picked up more of the household chores, so we both had free time and more together time. For example, I made the dinner so we could eat shortly after he came home. That gave us time to walk together after dinner.

Like I said. I already make breakfast everyday for us because I’m up first because I exercise. I pack our lunches. I also iron our clothes before work. I take care of all of our finances and bills, home/yard/car maintenance, trash, cook dinner and do the dishes half the time, and we alternate cleaning the bathrooms while I’m often vacuuming the floors on the weekends. She’s in charge of the laundry because she cares a lot about how her clothes are washed. So that’s the only real chore she takes on.

Fix breakfast? What’s to fix? Who still irons clothes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Wow we are a screwed up country. The person who doesn’t want to eat a crummy 2000 calorie meal with no nutrients is the one getting criticized.

There is a middle a middle ground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So when does she get 1.5 hours a day to work out? You have conveniently avoided commenting on whether or not you have kids and are shirking your responsibilities to be with them. When she has 1.5 hours a day every day where you are 💯 doing stuff for the kids and she doesn't have to, I will be on your side.

I did not avoid it.

Can you read? We. Do.Not. Have. Kids. She could exercise whenever she wants. She’s just not motivated enough to do it on a regular basis.

how long is your workday? Do yo7 work from home or do you have a commute? How are the home chores divided?

Except the part on the chores, OP answered all of these already. No kids and he does his workouts while she sleeps or before she gets home from work.

then maybe she is frustrated that she has to work longer hours

Ok, and? That’s a good reason to tear down your partner for taking care of their health?

Well, when my DH was working many more hours than me, I picked up more of the household chores, so we both had free time and more together time. For example, I made the dinner so we could eat shortly after he came home. That gave us time to walk together after dinner.

Like I said. I already make breakfast everyday for us because I’m up first because I exercise. I pack our lunches. I also iron our clothes before work. I take care of all of our finances and bills, home/yard/car maintenance, trash, cook dinner and do the dishes half the time, and we alternate cleaning the bathrooms while I’m often vacuuming the floors on the weekends. She’s in charge of the laundry because she cares a lot about how her clothes are washed. So that’s the only real chore she takes on.

Fix breakfast? What’s to fix? Who still irons clothes?

It’s 2023, who regularly wears clothes that have to be ironed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thread is proof positive why so many Americans are fat, nasty, obese slobs. So much hostility for fitness claiming it's too much time to take care of your health. It's completely laughable. 1.5 hours per day exercising between different parts of the day? Give me a break. It's not like it's spending 7 hours at the gym everyday like a professional body builder.

What a bunch of lazy couch potatoes. Posters in this thread prob spend 20-30 minutes poo pooing on an elliptical and doing arm curls with 5 lbs weights and consider it fitness. Then they wonder why they still get overweight and have lifestyle and age disease.

Heaven forbid you actually break a damn sweat.

If this is the OP, I think I see the problem. You think in extremes and absolutes. Life is in the grey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Wow we are a screwed up country. The person who doesn’t want to eat a crummy 2000 calorie meal with no nutrients is the one getting criticized.

There is a middle a middle ground.

Let me guess, your middle ground involves your spouse consuming higher calorie, nutrient poor food to make you happy rather than you consuming healthier food that he prefers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually exercise improves mood, but it sounds like it's making OP rather grouchy and sensitive.

He sounds like someone newly converted to a religion. Preaching about health, benefits, appearance and all the changes this new religion/working out has brought to his life. It can be tiresome being around someone like that. Just go do your thing and stop talking about it, flexing in the mirror, and judging her for not being saved.

Yup. OP has discovered The Truth and is going at full fanatical fundamentalist speed.

It's tiresome, boring, and not sustainable. Do some cardio, lift some weights, don't count your macros, balance your responsibilities, and find a more practical way to live. Exercise and fitness should be a healthy mental and physical release, not some obsessive made up binary between lazy fatass and vascularity.

OP if you feel like your new religion isn't compatible with your wife, divorce her. Let her find someone with a mindset that's more moderate and sustainable. And for pete's sake don't have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Lol. Or you could just eat less and smaller portion sizes of the same foods your spouse eats. You can also cutout all booze and snacks which would minorly impact your spouse as well.

So much hyperbole and ASS-U-mptions being made here. Good grief.

Talk about ASSumptions. My husband mostly only eats grain free cereal at home and raw vegetables. I'm not subjecting myself or kids to that diet. We just roll our eyes at him because he won't be talked out of it. Does this sound healthy and sane?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Wow we are a screwed up country. The person who doesn’t want to eat a crummy 2000 calorie meal with no nutrients is the one getting criticized.

Psss... the person has an eating disorder. He just won't admit it. Talk about screwed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Lol. Or you could just eat less and smaller portion sizes of the same foods your spouse eats. You can also cutout all booze and snacks which would minorly impact your spouse as well.

So much hyperbole and ASS-U-mptions being made here. Good grief.

Talk about ASSumptions. My husband mostly only eats grain free cereal at home and raw vegetables. I'm not subjecting myself or kids to that diet. We just roll our eyes at him because he won't be talked out of it. Does this sound healthy and sane?

Seems unlikely that your body builder husband eats no protein. Also, no sure you’ve made a connection to OP’s eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Wow we are a screwed up country. The person who doesn’t want to eat a crummy 2000 calorie meal with no nutrients is the one getting criticized.

Psss... the person has an eating disorder. He just won't admit it. Talk about screwed up.

Funny how you actually didn’t mention that earlier. If OP doesn’t have an eating disorder, there is no comparison.

[Anonymous]

If you’re getting vascular, you’re doing too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Wow we are a screwed up country. The person who doesn’t want to eat a crummy 2000 calorie meal with no nutrients is the one getting criticized.

Psss... the person has an eating disorder. He just won't admit it. Talk about screwed up.

Funny how you actually didn’t mention that earlier. If OP doesn’t have an eating disorder, there is no comparison.

I think it was implied that it was outside the norm. What part of plate of raw vegetables sounds normal for dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Lol. Or you could just eat less and smaller portion sizes of the same foods your spouse eats. You can also cutout all booze and snacks which would minorly impact your spouse as well.

So much hyperbole and ASS-U-mptions being made here. Good grief.

Talk about ASSumptions. My husband mostly only eats grain free cereal at home and raw vegetables. I'm not subjecting myself or kids to that diet. We just roll our eyes at him because he won't be talked out of it. Does this sound healthy and sane?

Seems unlikely that your body builder husband eats no protein. Also, no sure you’ve made a connection to OP’s eating.

I didn't say my husband was a body builder. Do you often struggle with reading comprehension? I said someone "like" this who has a vanity project. His project is being very lean and toned. His "working out" goes beyond just 1.5 hours a day and seeps into other areas of his life. Perhaps OP is like that too and it becomes undestandable why his wife is being negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that OP has completely transformed his body with adding lots of bulk, muscularity, bulging veins on lifting 1hr a day and a little cardio. There are probably a lot of dietary and lifestyle changes going on as well that aren't being mentioned. The wife is probably wondering what happened to the guy she married and who this stranger is.

Perfectly possible. You will get vascular if you cut your body fat%, control, your diet and lift weights. You don't have to look like Mr. Olympia. 1 hour per day everyday is definitely enough to add significant bulk. No, you're not going to be entering into body building competitons, but it's enough to add bulk of you're lifing heavy and doing good exercises like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, pullups, rows, etc.

Control your diet. You said it right there. OP has obviously incorporated his mindset into other areas of his life and this isn't just something he privately does at the gym with no impact on his spouse. I'm married to someone like this. He won't eat the family dinner. He eats a very specific diet unappealing to the rest of us. It's kind of a drag. He doesn't like to eat out anywhere and if he does will eat a plate of basically raw vegetables so we have to go to specific places that meet his standards, all for his vanity project it's not like an allergy. If OP used to enjoy dinner with his spouse and now doesn't anymore it can be a buzz kill.

Lol. Or you could just eat less and smaller portion sizes of the same foods your spouse eats. You can also cutout all booze and snacks which would minorly impact your spouse as well.

So much hyperbole and ASS-U-mptions being made here. Good grief.

Talk about ASSumptions. My husband mostly only eats grain free cereal at home and raw vegetables. I'm not subjecting myself or kids to that diet. We just roll our eyes at him because he won't be talked out of it. Does this sound healthy and sane?

Seems unlikely that your body builder husband eats no protein. Also, no sure you’ve made a connection to OP’s eating.

I didn't say my husband was a body builder. Do you often struggle with reading comprehension? I said someone "like" this who has a vanity project. His project is being very lean and toned. His "working out" goes beyond just 1.5 hours a day and seeps into other areas of his life. Perhaps OP is like that too and it becomes undestandable why his wife is being negative.

So not like OP then.