I went to visit a swingers club for the first time. AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.

There were more women than men. If a woman wanted a partner, she would have had no issues finding one. In the lifestyle community a single woman looking for people to swing with is called a unicorn. She's a unicorn for a reason, she's rare.

I would love to be a third for a committed attractive couple, preferably married. No interest in building relationships but want great sex. So I’m supposedly a unicorn.
Unfortunately I’m very bacteria phobic and could never cross the line for threesomes. Would hate constantly changing partners, couples or not.

+1 on the bacteria phobic. I love sex and I judge nobody for having multiple partners but there are plenty of stds you can get with condom use and some of them permanent. Just not worth the risk for me. I won’t sleep with anyone without a full std test for both of us-period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP I am a woman in my 40s, white, petite.

So the bi guy bangs both you and your husband?

Sometimes both of us, sometimes I get all the attention. It actually opened my eyes how many men are bisexual.

This is confusing. Didn’t you just say your husband was straight ? Or it’s a different poster ?
OP - are you both straight ?

I am not the topic starter. I am the one who got dissapointed in group meetings. I am F straight, my partner M bi.

In your experience, men who enjoy both types of threesomes MFM and FMF - are they more commonly bisexual ? I can’t imagine being ok watching my partner having sex with someone else unless I was getting engaged with that 3rd person, too

I have never done FMF as I am as straight as can be. My partner is bisexual and I knew that from when we just began dating (15 years ago.) With 2 men there is no watching, you always participate. At least in my experience. I never feel left out.

So in these encounters do you watch your man getting pounded in the rear or giving a BJ to some dude? If so, is this enjoyable for you to watch?

Yes to both. Me and my partner can please another man, then both men please me. Its a dynamic, not something set in stone (aka two guys just giving bjs to each other.) Its very liberating to not have limits with 2 men that are not afraid to touch each other.

So after he the third pleases your husband, does he change condoms going into you ? Aren’t you worried that condoms don’t fully protect ?

Yes, condoms at all times! Even for BJs.

What’s the point, then? Men hate condoms

But they love BJs.

They must be men really desperate for any action because it’s not hard to get in just normal dating without condoms

Maybe they're married & BJs are harder to come by.

Married male, last bj was over 10 years ago. I refuse to ask for one because I know it'll be an unenthusiastic pity bj. If I thought she took some joy in giving me pleasure, then maybe.

What’s going on there? Is one or both of you unfit? Where does the resentment come from? I assume there is no emotional intimacy? That’s the key to a woman being in the mood. You have to be interested in each other as people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP I am a woman in my 40s, white, petite.

So the bi guy bangs both you and your husband?

Sometimes both of us, sometimes I get all the attention. It actually opened my eyes how many men are bisexual.

This is confusing. Didn’t you just say your husband was straight ? Or it’s a different poster ?
OP - are you both straight ?

I am not the topic starter. I am the one who got dissapointed in group meetings. I am F straight, my partner M bi.

In your experience, men who enjoy both types of threesomes MFM and FMF - are they more commonly bisexual ? I can’t imagine being ok watching my partner having sex with someone else unless I was getting engaged with that 3rd person, too

I have never done FMF as I am as straight as can be. My partner is bisexual and I knew that from when we just began dating (15 years ago.) With 2 men there is no watching, you always participate. At least in my experience. I never feel left out.

So in these encounters do you watch your man getting pounded in the rear or giving a BJ to some dude? If so, is this enjoyable for you to watch?

Yes to both. Me and my partner can please another man, then both men please me. Its a dynamic, not something set in stone (aka two guys just giving bjs to each other.) Its very liberating to not have limits with 2 men that are not afraid to touch each other.

So after he the third pleases your husband, does he change condoms going into you ? Aren’t you worried that condoms don’t fully protect ?

Yes, condoms at all times! Even for BJs.

What’s the point, then? Men hate condoms

But they love BJs.

They must be men really desperate for any action because it’s not hard to get in just normal dating without condoms

Maybe they're married & BJs are harder to come by.

Married male, last bj was over 10 years ago. I refuse to ask for one because I know it'll be an unenthusiastic pity bj. If I thought she took some joy in giving me pleasure, then maybe.

What’s going on there? Is one or both of you unfit? Where does the resentment come from? I assume there is no emotional intimacy? That’s the key to a woman being in the mood. You have to be interested in each other as people.

Some women (me) never enjoy giving BJs and eventually decide to retire from it. I get that it is a bummer for our partners. But it's not uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP I am a woman in my 40s, white, petite.

So the bi guy bangs both you and your husband?

Sometimes both of us, sometimes I get all the attention. It actually opened my eyes how many men are bisexual.

This is confusing. Didn’t you just say your husband was straight ? Or it’s a different poster ?
OP - are you both straight ?

I am not the topic starter. I am the one who got dissapointed in group meetings. I am F straight, my partner M bi.

In your experience, men who enjoy both types of threesomes MFM and FMF - are they more commonly bisexual ? I can’t imagine being ok watching my partner having sex with someone else unless I was getting engaged with that 3rd person, too

I have never done FMF as I am as straight as can be. My partner is bisexual and I knew that from when we just began dating (15 years ago.) With 2 men there is no watching, you always participate. At least in my experience. I never feel left out.

So in these encounters do you watch your man getting pounded in the rear or giving a BJ to some dude? If so, is this enjoyable for you to watch?

Yes to both. Me and my partner can please another man, then both men please me. Its a dynamic, not something set in stone (aka two guys just giving bjs to each other.) Its very liberating to not have limits with 2 men that are not afraid to touch each other.

So after he the third pleases your husband, does he change condoms going into you ? Aren’t you worried that condoms don’t fully protect ?

Yes, condoms at all times! Even for BJs.

What’s the point, then? Men hate condoms

But they love BJs.

They must be men really desperate for any action because it’s not hard to get in just normal dating without condoms

Maybe they're married & BJs are harder to come by.

Married male, last bj was over 10 years ago. I refuse to ask for one because I know it'll be an unenthusiastic pity bj. If I thought she took some joy in giving me pleasure, then maybe.

What’s going on there? Is one or both of you unfit? Where does the resentment come from? I assume there is no emotional intimacy? That’s the key to a woman being in the mood. You have to be interested in each other as people.

She doesn't complain if I go down on her for half an hour everyday, she just has no desire to give a blowjob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often do men actually end up hooking up with a woman at these places? I would imagine that most of the women are there mainly because they enjoy being sexy/desired or they are bi-curious. I really think it’s rather rare that these women actually enjoy sexual encounters with random dudes.

Why can’t the men be bi curious and also interested in being desired by men or women?

They can. I have no doubt that a lot of dudes end up hooking up with each other at these places. My question was how often do men actually end up hooking up with a women.

Really? I kind of got the picture that there was no guy-on-guy action involved.

From what I understand of these places, most don’t allow public guy on guy behavior, but have closed doors where this could happen.
My impression is that most of these guys aren’t really bi-sexual and would much rather hook up with a woman, but are very freaky sexually so would be willing to hook up with another dude if no better alternatives.

But they have to go into a secret room? How odd.

It is odd. Swinger or 'lifestyle' culture is very heteronormative, unless it's two women. Double standard.

That's what I am gathering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP I am a woman in my 40s, white, petite.

So the bi guy bangs both you and your husband?

Sometimes both of us, sometimes I get all the attention. It actually opened my eyes how many men are bisexual.

This is confusing. Didn’t you just say your husband was straight ? Or it’s a different poster ?
OP - are you both straight ?

I am not the topic starter. I am the one who got dissapointed in group meetings. I am F straight, my partner M bi.

In your experience, men who enjoy both types of threesomes MFM and FMF - are they more commonly bisexual ? I can’t imagine being ok watching my partner having sex with someone else unless I was getting engaged with that 3rd person, too

I have never done FMF as I am as straight as can be. My partner is bisexual and I knew that from when we just began dating (15 years ago.) With 2 men there is no watching, you always participate. At least in my experience. I never feel left out.

So in these encounters do you watch your man getting pounded in the rear or giving a BJ to some dude? If so, is this enjoyable for you to watch?

Yes to both. Me and my partner can please another man, then both men please me. Its a dynamic, not something set in stone (aka two guys just giving bjs to each other.) Its very liberating to not have limits with 2 men that are not afraid to touch each other.

So after he the third pleases your husband, does he change condoms going into you ? Aren’t you worried that condoms don’t fully protect ?

Yes, condoms at all times! Even for BJs.

What’s the point, then? Men hate condoms

But they love BJs.

They must be men really desperate for any action because it’s not hard to get in just normal dating without condoms

Maybe they're married & BJs are harder to come by.

Married male, last bj was over 10 years ago. I refuse to ask for one because I know it'll be an unenthusiastic pity bj. If I thought she took some joy in giving me pleasure, then maybe.

What’s going on there? Is one or both of you unfit? Where does the resentment come from? I assume there is no emotional intimacy? That’s the key to a woman being in the mood. You have to be interested in each other as people.

She doesn't complain if I go down on her for half an hour everyday, she just has no desire to give a blowjob.

I think you should accept your submissive role in the relationship. Then you will have more fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.

There were more women than men. If a woman wanted a partner, she would have had no issues finding one. In the lifestyle community a single woman looking for people to swing with is called a unicorn. She's a unicorn for a reason, she's rare.

I would love to be a third for a committed attractive couple, preferably married. No interest in building relationships but want great sex. So I’m supposedly a unicorn.
Unfortunately I’m very bacteria phobic and could never cross the line for threesomes. Would hate constantly changing partners, couples or not.

+1 on the bacteria phobic. I love sex and I judge nobody for having multiple partners but there are plenty of stds you can get with condom use and some of them permanent. Just not worth the risk for me. I won’t sleep with anyone without a full std test for both of us-period.

What stds can you get with condoms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP I am a woman in my 40s, white, petite.

So the bi guy bangs both you and your husband?

Sometimes both of us, sometimes I get all the attention. It actually opened my eyes how many men are bisexual.

This is confusing. Didn’t you just say your husband was straight ? Or it’s a different poster ?
OP - are you both straight ?

I am not the topic starter. I am the one who got dissapointed in group meetings. I am F straight, my partner M bi.

In your experience, men who enjoy both types of threesomes MFM and FMF - are they more commonly bisexual ? I can’t imagine being ok watching my partner having sex with someone else unless I was getting engaged with that 3rd person, too

I have never done FMF as I am as straight as can be. My partner is bisexual and I knew that from when we just began dating (15 years ago.) With 2 men there is no watching, you always participate. At least in my experience. I never feel left out.

So in these encounters do you watch your man getting pounded in the rear or giving a BJ to some dude? If so, is this enjoyable for you to watch?

Yes to both. Me and my partner can please another man, then both men please me. Its a dynamic, not something set in stone (aka two guys just giving bjs to each other.) Its very liberating to not have limits with 2 men that are not afraid to touch each other.

So after he the third pleases your husband, does he change condoms going into you ? Aren’t you worried that condoms don’t fully protect ?

Yes, condoms at all times! Even for BJs.

What’s the point, then? Men hate condoms

But they love BJs.

They must be men really desperate for any action because it’s not hard to get in just normal dating without condoms

Maybe they're married & BJs are harder to come by.

Married male, last bj was over 10 years ago. I refuse to ask for one because I know it'll be an unenthusiastic pity bj. If I thought she took some joy in giving me pleasure, then maybe.

Married male here for 23 years. Still getting a couple BJs every week. You should have married a woman that loves cock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.

There were more women than men. If a woman wanted a partner, she would have had no issues finding one. In the lifestyle community a single woman looking for people to swing with is called a unicorn. She's a unicorn for a reason, she's rare.

I would love to be a third for a committed attractive couple, preferably married. No interest in building relationships but want great sex. So I’m supposedly a unicorn.
Unfortunately I’m very bacteria phobic and could never cross the line for threesomes. Would hate constantly changing partners, couples or not.

+1 on the bacteria phobic. I love sex and I judge nobody for having multiple partners but there are plenty of stds you can get with condom use and some of them permanent. Just not worth the risk for me. I won’t sleep with anyone without a full std test for both of us-period.

What stds can you get with condoms?

Herpes, genital warts, crabs.

[Anonymous]

I'm a woman with a high sex drive and I've always had good sexual relationships but I just can't get over the idea that there is something dysfunctional about this. Or unhealthy, but not in a physical way, more in a mental or emotional way.

Maybe once or twice, sure, but going on a regular basis seems deeply dysfunctional and I feel sorry for people who live their lives that way.

There is something pathetic about it. Like we all have fantasies and sure think about people watching us have sex etc. but to spend your Saturday nights standing around a bar and talking to strangers with your boobs hanging out, and then having your husband bang other women with you there, is just gross. I'm sorry I try not to be judgmental but I honestly think this is not the kind of perversion that's actually good for people.

Find me a couple that actually has a good relationship and a good sex life that does this on a regular basis over the years. Just don't think it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.

There were more women than men. If a woman wanted a partner, she would have had no issues finding one. In the lifestyle community a single woman looking for people to swing with is called a unicorn. She's a unicorn for a reason, she's rare.

I would love to be a third for a committed attractive couple, preferably married. No interest in building relationships but want great sex. So I’m supposedly a unicorn.
Unfortunately I’m very bacteria phobic and could never cross the line for threesomes. Would hate constantly changing partners, couples or not.

+1 on the bacteria phobic. I love sex and I judge nobody for having multiple partners but there are plenty of stds you can get with condom use and some of them permanent. Just not worth the risk for me. I won’t sleep with anyone without a full std test for both of us-period.

What stds can you get with condoms?

How are you an adult and you don’t know this? Herpes, Syphillis, HPV (both the ones that causes genital warts and the ones that don’t) and MC. Also some of the newer lesser known Mycoplasmas and related.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you always an immoral person or did you become one recently? What’s your plan when you meet our creator?

With all the war, famine, murder, disease and suffering there is in the world, I’m sure God really cares what OP is doing with her body!

[Anonymous]

Great thread. We’re 50s couple and sex drive is still there but waiting for the empty nest before getting into this lifestyle-just more freedom and less worries. There’s a meet and greet event in VA each month that we’re curious about as a way to start

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.

There were more women than men. If a woman wanted a partner, she would have had no issues finding one. In the lifestyle community a single woman looking for people to swing with is called a unicorn. She's a unicorn for a reason, she's rare.

I would love to be a third for a committed attractive couple, preferably married. No interest in building relationships but want great sex. So I’m supposedly a unicorn.
Unfortunately I’m very bacteria phobic and could never cross the line for threesomes. Would hate constantly changing partners, couples or not.

+1 on the bacteria phobic. I love sex and I judge nobody for having multiple partners but there are plenty of stds you can get with condom use and some of them permanent. Just not worth the risk for me. I won’t sleep with anyone without a full std test for both of us-period.

What stds can you get with condoms?

How are you an adult and you don’t know this? Herpes, Syphillis, HPV (both the ones that causes genital warts and the ones that don’t) and MC. Also some of the newer lesser known Mycoplasmas and related.

What’s MC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.

There were more women than men. If a woman wanted a partner, she would have had no issues finding one. In the lifestyle community a single woman looking for people to swing with is called a unicorn. She's a unicorn for a reason, she's rare.

I would love to be a third for a committed attractive couple, preferably married. No interest in building relationships but want great sex. So I’m supposedly a unicorn.
Unfortunately I’m very bacteria phobic and could never cross the line for threesomes. Would hate constantly changing partners, couples or not.

+1 on the bacteria phobic. I love sex and I judge nobody for having multiple partners but there are plenty of stds you can get with condom use and some of them permanent. Just not worth the risk for me. I won’t sleep with anyone without a full std test for both of us-period.

What stds can you get with condoms?

Mouths are virus and STD holes.