I went to visit a swingers club for the first time. AMA

[Anonymous]

Were most of the people old and unattractive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.

There were more women than men. If a woman wanted a partner, she would have had no issues finding one. In the lifestyle community a single woman looking for people to swing with is called a unicorn. She's a unicorn for a reason, she's rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were most of the people old and unattractive?

Not at all. There were people from 20s-60s. Most were 30s-40s. Hubs and I are fit, attractive 40s, and we joked that we may have been some of the older people there. It was like a slice of life anywhere you go- some people are more attractive than others, but what is attractive to you may not be attractive to me, so the world spins on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.

There were more women than men. If a woman wanted a partner, she would have had no issues finding one. In the lifestyle community a single woman looking for people to swing with is called a unicorn. She's a unicorn for a reason, she's rare.

I would love to be a third for a committed attractive couple, preferably married. No interest in building relationships but want great sex. So I’m supposedly a unicorn.
Unfortunately I’m very bacteria phobic and could never cross the line for threesomes. Would hate constantly changing partners, couples or not.

[Anonymous]

Are you going back?

[Anonymous]

Can you provide more on demographics? Mostly white? Mostly 30-40 ages? Mostly hetero couples (as opposed to gay couples or single heterosexual women)? When you chatted with others, was it sexual? What did you talk about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you going back?

Yes, for sure. And we may end up planning some vacations around swinger events. Even if we aren't quite ready to participate, we had a really good time, I got to live a little of my exhibitionist self, and we met nice people.

[Anonymous]

So, how does it work? You are there with your hubs and if your hubs wanted to bang a hot one, how does he approach and have sex with her? Likewise if some man wanted you? Two scenarios: (1) the approaching party and the approached are mutually interested and (2) if one is interested and the other is not or not fully interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you provide more on demographics? Mostly white? Mostly 30-40 ages? Mostly hetero couples (as opposed to gay couples or single heterosexual women)? When you chatted with others, was it sexual? What did you talk about?

Mix of black and white people. Maybe 2/3 white and 1/3 POC. Mostly ages 30-40 with 20-60 age range. Hetero couples, single women, bi or bi-curious women. Did see a lot of women kissing and lightly playing on the dance floor. Same for hetro couples. I didn't notice any gay male couples, but to be honest, I wasn't scanning for those interactions.

Chatting was sexual and non-sexual. Several people told me that I was hot, and that is a sure way to strike up a convo. Hubs was with me almost the entire time unless one of us was using the bathroom. Even topless we were able to have really normal conversations with people. Where they live, what they do for work (SO DC!!), how they got into the lifestyle, tips for newbies, a little about ourselves and what we like/hobbies, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, how does it work? You are there with your hubs and if your hubs wanted to bang a hot one, how does he approach and have sex with her? Likewise if some man wanted you? Two scenarios: (1) the approaching party and the approached are mutually interested and (2) if one is interested and the other is not or not fully interested.

I honestly don't know. That's more like the 201 level class and we're still at the 101 level class.

What I can say is that we are pretty good at pointing out people that we find attractive to the other (spent the last year working on vocalizing fantasies), so Hubs has an idea of what I would like and vice versa. If I see someone topless with great boobs, I will point his eyes in her direction. If it was a couple, we would need to both have some attraction to 'engage in activities' AKA play with them. We're really new to this, so I can't imagine that either of us is ready to just venture out on our own anytime soon. At least one of the couples we chatted with was interested in us, but we weren't ready, and they knew we were newbies, so it didn't even come up. They told us that most times they go to a club like this, they just play together, and don't hook up with anyone else. It's mostly the sexy vibe and lack of inhibitions in public that make me excited at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is it located generally and did you run into people you know or was it costumed like eyes wide shut

This is making me giggle. No masks but there were plenty of "costumes" on the ladies. Lingerie, strappy bondage type sets, minidresses with tall boots, sheer tops, etc. The guys were all dressed like they were going to dinner or a club- slacks, collared shirt, nice shoes.

So no men in a$$less chaps?

[Anonymous]

Would you consider it safe for a solo woman? Do they offer valet parking?

[Anonymous]

Are you bi OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, how does it work? You are there with your hubs and if your hubs wanted to bang a hot one, how does he approach and have sex with her? Likewise if some man wanted you? Two scenarios: (1) the approaching party and the approached are mutually interested and (2) if one is interested and the other is not or not fully interested.

I honestly don't know. That's more like the 201 level class and we're still at the 101 level class.

What I can say is that we are pretty good at pointing out people that we find attractive to the other (spent the last year working on vocalizing fantasies), so Hubs has an idea of what I would like and vice versa. If I see someone topless with great boobs, I will point his eyes in her direction. If it was a couple, we would need to both have some attraction to 'engage in activities' AKA play with them. We're really new to this, so I can't imagine that either of us is ready to just venture out on our own anytime soon. At least one of the couples we chatted with was interested in us, but we weren't ready, and they knew we were newbies, so it didn't even come up. They told us that most times they go to a club like this, they just play together, and don't hook up with anyone else. It's mostly the sexy vibe and lack of inhibitions in public that make me excited at this point.

The odds are pretty low then, if husband-wife pair A has to be mutually interested in husband-wife pair B. Can husband A play with wife C while wife A plays with husband B? That would leave husband C and wife B watching. Anyway, my wife would never be game for this, so for me it is a fantasy that I will take to my grave. Still, very interesting lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Do they have a no cell phone, monitors, no recording policy? I can imagine a lot of careers could be jeopardized.