I went to visit a swingers club for the first time. AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does it work? Do you just walk in or do you need an invite? Once your'e in, what happens next?

This is a big question. So, in the DMV, you can go to lifestyle clubs in MD or PA, but they are not legal in VA. Fro the actual clubs in MD and PA, you can look them up, hit up their websites, and apply for membership directly there. In VA, you need to have an idea of what sort of private events are going on. Which means that you likely need to join some of the swinger websites that list organizations and events. So, it's harder to find parties and hotel take overs in VA, and you might need an invite (depends on the org), but they are there.

When you arrive, they check you in, and a 'host couple' will give you a tour of the place. Members only clubs are BYOB, so you hit the bar to check in your goods, and then you are free to use the whole club for whatever you like! There was a dance floor, lounge, couches, high top tables, and play rooms. There is a group sex room (that was HOPPING!) and rooms with windows so you can watch if the couple wants you to. About half of the club was 'no play' which means that while there were lots of boobs out, there were no exposed genitalia. We spent most of the night up in that area, but we did explore the rest of the club too. We did use one of the playrooms, but just us, no other couples or singles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you use a fake name to get in or do they vett you and you have to show ID?

Have gone to a couple different clubs. You absolutely don't want to go to one that doesn't check ID.

[Anonymous]

Relevant Google ad on this post:

Divorce With A Plan: Executive Divorce Attorney

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is it located generally and did you run into people you know or was it costumed like eyes wide shut

This is making me giggle. No masks but there were plenty of "costumes" on the ladies. Lingerie, strappy bondage type sets, minidresses with tall boots, sheer tops, etc. The guys were all dressed like they were going to dinner or a club- slacks, collared shirt, nice shoes.

[Anonymous]

Are there non sexual intro events for vetting each other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relevant Google ad on this post:

Divorce With A Plan: Executive Divorce Attorney

Not real funny. I am trying to serve as a resource here. Hubs and I are very secure with our relationship, and just because our lifestyle doesn't match yours doesn't mean that you can poo on my post. Shoo. Go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do people go into rooms or private areas or is it all happening out in the open?

In the non-play areas, there were lots of exposed boobs on the dance floor and in the lounge area, but no exposed genitalia. I'm pretty sure we saw some below the belt, over clothing action on the dance floor, and maybe one woman getting a bit more, but nothing exposed, and that was late in the night. For the play areas, shockingly we still didn't see a lot of exposed genitals outside of the room. Maybe 2-3 people even though the spaces were a bit crowded. Like I said in another post, they did have one huge group sex room, and that was completely packed. You are not allowed to stand around and watch that room, just peek in the window to see if there is space for you. We peeked 2x and never saw any space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there non sexual intro events for vetting each other?

My biggest take away from this whole adventure is that every event can be as sexual or non-sexual as you like. We chatted with other couples and never played with them. There wouldn't be judgement for wanting to watch or just take things slow. Every person we spoke to there was very nice, open, and welcoming. We didn't feel any pressure to participate.

In my head, I had built it up to be 'we're going to be dancing, and some woman is just going to come over and start making out with Hubs.' The actual situation was not like that at all. I'm laughing a bit at myself now for the picture I had. That is part of why I'm doing this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you find out about it?

Google. In the last year we have been playing with sharing fantasies and over time it became clear that mine all revolve around exhibitionism and sensuality. My husband is a 'problem solver' by nature, and once he realized how pervasive these fantasies are, he was determined to find a way to make a little something happen for me. He googled, I googled, we found Reddit, devoured everything we could find on there, read some books, listened to a bunch of podcasts, and set up a password protected text string where we can share our research with each other.

[Anonymous]

Do they screen everyone for STDs?
What specifically group sex was happening?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

What do you think is the reasoning behind only the woman being able to hold the membership?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there non sexual intro events for vetting each other?

My biggest take away from this whole adventure is that every event can be as sexual or non-sexual as you like. We chatted with other couples and never played with them. There wouldn't be judgement for wanting to watch or just take things slow. Every person we spoke to there was very nice, open, and welcoming. We didn't feel any pressure to participate.

In my head, I had built it up to be 'we're going to be dancing, and some woman is just going to come over and start making out with Hubs.' The actual situation was not like that at all. I'm laughing a bit at myself now for the picture I had. That is part of why I'm doing this

Why do you keep calling it play? Eventually you will be doing a lot more than playing...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do they screen everyone for STDs?
What specifically group sex was happening?

No STD screening. That is up the individuals. Each person has their own risk tolerance, and the club can't mandate risk tolerance among consenting adults. There were condoms available in all the rooms.

I don't know what was happening in the group sex room, or where people had doors to playrooms that were shut. In the group room, there were a lot of bodies on a lot of beds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there non sexual intro events for vetting each other?

My biggest take away from this whole adventure is that every event can be as sexual or non-sexual as you like. We chatted with other couples and never played with them. There wouldn't be judgement for wanting to watch or just take things slow. Every person we spoke to there was very nice, open, and welcoming. We didn't feel any pressure to participate.

In my head, I had built it up to be 'we're going to be dancing, and some woman is just going to come over and start making out with Hubs.' The actual situation was not like that at all. I'm laughing a bit at myself now for the picture I had. That is part of why I'm doing this

Why do you keep calling it play? Eventually you will be doing a lot more than playing...

What would you prefer I call it? Engage in activities? The community tends to use the term 'play' so I adopted it for this AMA.

If you're not hear to ask questions or learn, then see your way out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.