Revealing affair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Oh, please, OP, you no mother Theresa in this. You are a scorned woman.

The other spouse may not have not innocent. What if he's abusive, what if she's having a revenage affair?

Hurting back your DH is justified. But involving complete strangers and being the main character in this mess is not.

OP didn’t involve strangers, her DH opened that door. The other spouse was grateful because his cheating spouse has been short-tempered at home and gaslighting him, which is emotional abuse.

You have no moral compass and no backbone, clearly, and it is a travesty to all of us that you are raising kids who will similarly blameshift and won’t know right from wrong.

OP acted without regard for the feelings of the other spouse, only to make herself feel better. That the other spouse did not react badly has nothing to do with that fact, no matter how hard you and OP spin it afterwards.

Omg. You are seriously mentally ill.

DP. I think the PP had some sense, and your critique makes you sound like you can’t see more than one side to any issue.

The OP did the right thing, and is probably also a shameful vindictive person no matter what kind of happy spin she’s using to justify her morality.

No I think PP has some mental illness where she just can't fathom how the real world works.

OP did the right thing. Period. The rest is just your delusion.

You think it was the right thing. Not everyone agrees. The other spouse might have been one of those people. OP had no way of knowing which kind of person the other spouse is. OP did for herself without caring about the other person.

That’s the point. OP didn’t even care. She didn’t do it to save someone from a burning house. She did for herself. Even if it hurt an innocent party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

So what if I want revenge? Doesn't the other woman deserve it? She inserted herself in my life and deserves to have hers blown up like she did mine. And her husband deserves to know what she is up to.

His “deserves to know” is your revenge? What about HIM? That’s the very sick part of your plan.

For sure the other spouse needed to know. Sorry but PP is right, but she needs to let it go now and move on. Get herself in a good position, and hopefully be done with this spouse/situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

So what if I want revenge? Doesn't the other woman deserve it? She inserted herself in my life and deserves to have hers blown up like she did mine. And her husband deserves to know what she is up to.

His “deserves to know” is your revenge? What about HIM? That’s the very sick part of your plan.

For sure the other spouse needed to know. Sorry but PP is right, but she needs to let it go now and move on. Get herself in a good position, and hopefully be done with this spouse/situation.

Yep. Worry about no one else’s feelings and be the boss!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

So what if I want revenge? Doesn't the other woman deserve it? She inserted herself in my life and deserves to have hers blown up like she did mine. And her husband deserves to know what she is up to.

When you seek revenge, begin by digging two graves. In general, actions motivated by that reason have a high risk of turning on you. And if the consequences are bad, that’s on you. Contrast the motivation, when you tell the other spouse about the affair because you would want to know if the positions were reversed, or because you felt like you would be complicit if you didn’t. Even if things turn sour, and they may, it’s easier to live with bad consequences if you were trying to do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

I’m contemplating telling the AP’s adult children. They should know their parent is a POS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

So what if I want revenge? Doesn't the other woman deserve it? She inserted herself in my life and deserves to have hers blown up like she did mine. And her husband deserves to know what she is up to.

I think you’re confused. If you want “revenge”, it’s your DH you take revenge upon. This woman isn’t great but your DH is 100% responsible for cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m contemplating telling the AP’s adult children. They should know their parent is a POS.

if I were them and you contacted me, an adult, to tell me this, I’d get a restraining order against you. Psycho AF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

You don’t know that. Most of us that caught our friends husband cheating, and told them we’re just so glad to get that **** out of our lives.

And many women stay. It doesn’t make them weak or less. It makes them
Different than you.

Staying after infidelity is their choice. You know what isn't? Being lied to and gaslit and not having all the information. If I want to stay with my husband after he cheats on me, that is my choice, but at least I'm making it with ALL the information out in the open. I'd rather make that decision actually knowing what's going on.

It's clear that the other posters know they'd never leave even if their husbands cheated on them because they can't and they don't want anyone else to know that they're too weak to do anything about it.

DING DING DING

They have no options so they’d rather live in a delulu “good marriage” than know the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m contemplating telling the AP’s adult children. They should know their parent is a POS.

if I were them and you contacted me, an adult, to tell me this, I’d get a restraining order against you. Psycho AF

That's going a little too far. I have seen where the AP won't leave the couple alone then I would be clear with the AP if she continues her entire family and employment will know. I wouldn't have a problem with PP doing that. Otherwise, just tell the other spouse and move on with one's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

So what if I want revenge? Doesn't the other woman deserve it? She inserted herself in my life and deserves to have hers blown up like she did mine. And her husband deserves to know what she is up to.

I think you’re confused. If you want “revenge”, it’s your DH you take revenge upon. This woman isn’t great but your DH is 100% responsible for cheating.

I already assumed she would do that with DH. OP answer this, are you going to divorce him? What is your plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Oh, please, OP, you no mother Theresa in this. You are a scorned woman.

The other spouse may not have not innocent. What if he's abusive, what if she's having a revenage affair?

Hurting back your DH is justified. But involving complete strangers and being the main character in this mess is not.

OP didn’t involve strangers, her DH opened that door. The other spouse was grateful because his cheating spouse has been short-tempered at home and gaslighting him, which is emotional abuse.

You have no moral compass and no backbone, clearly, and it is a travesty to all of us that you are raising kids who will similarly blameshift and won’t know right from wrong.

OP acted without regard for the feelings of the other spouse, only to make herself feel better. That the other spouse did not react badly has nothing to do with that fact, no matter how hard you and OP spin it afterwards.

Omg. You are seriously mentally ill.

DP. I think the PP had some sense, and your critique makes you sound like you can’t see more than one side to any issue.

The OP did the right thing, and is probably also a shameful vindictive person no matter what kind of happy spin she’s using to justify her morality.

No I think PP has some mental illness where she just can't fathom how the real world works.

OP did the right thing. Period. The rest is just your delusion.

You think it was the right thing. Not everyone agrees. The other spouse might have been one of those people. OP had no way of knowing which kind of person the other spouse is. OP did for herself without caring about the other person.

That’s the point. OP didn’t even care. She didn’t do it to save someone from a burning house. She did for herself. Even if it hurt an innocent party.

No that is not the point. The point is that you are making up fake scenarios in your head and arguing them like it's not some delusional fiction you created.

That is the thing about being delusional, you can't see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

So what if I want revenge? Doesn't the other woman deserve it? She inserted herself in my life and deserves to have hers blown up like she did mine. And her husband deserves to know what she is up to.

I think you’re confused. If you want “revenge”, it’s your DH you take revenge upon. This woman isn’t great but your DH is 100% responsible for cheating.

I already assumed she would do that with DH. OP answer this, are you going to divorce him? What is your plan?

Why does that matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m contemplating telling the AP’s adult children. They should know their parent is a POS.

if I were them and you contacted me, an adult, to tell me this, I’d get a restraining order against you. Psycho AF

The judge will laugh you out of the court room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend told me my first dh was cheating on me. She was privy to the information because my ex used her and her dh as his alibi. We were all friends. I was SO GRATEFUL to this woman for having the balls to call me and tell me something I had actually suspected. I was lied to and gaslit by my ex. My df did me a huge favor. Decades later I am still glad she told me. She said she did not want to be complicit in the lie.

But she was your friend. She told you out of concern for you, not for her own revenge or need to make things like pain equal. Their marriage was blown up, so in her mind, yours should too *because the sectet*. The secret is over already.

You don’t know that. Most of us that caught our friends husband cheating, and told them we’re just so glad to get that **** out of our lives.

And many women stay. It doesn’t make them weak or less. It makes them
Different than you.

Staying after infidelity is their choice. You know what isn't? Being lied to and gaslit and not having all the information. If I want to stay with my husband after he cheats on me, that is my choice, but at least I'm making it with ALL the information out in the open. I'd rather make that decision actually knowing what's going on.

It's clear that the other posters know they'd never leave even if their husbands cheated on them because they can't and they don't want anyone else to know that they're too weak to do anything about it.

DING DING DING

They have no options so they’d rather live in a delulu “good marriage” than know the truth.

Yes, everyone knows Hillary Clinton and Beyonce are "too weak" and "delulu".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Oh, please, OP, you no mother Theresa in this. You are a scorned woman.

The other spouse may not have not innocent. What if he's abusive, what if she's having a revenage affair?

Hurting back your DH is justified. But involving complete strangers and being the main character in this mess is not.

OP didn’t involve strangers, her DH opened that door. The other spouse was grateful because his cheating spouse has been short-tempered at home and gaslighting him, which is emotional abuse.

You have no moral compass and no backbone, clearly, and it is a travesty to all of us that you are raising kids who will similarly blameshift and won’t know right from wrong.

OP acted without regard for the feelings of the other spouse, only to make herself feel better. That the other spouse did not react badly has nothing to do with that fact, no matter how hard you and OP spin it afterwards.

Omg. You are seriously mentally ill.

DP. I think the PP had some sense, and your critique makes you sound like you can’t see more than one side to any issue.

The OP did the right thing, and is probably also a shameful vindictive person no matter what kind of happy spin she’s using to justify her morality.

No I think PP has some mental illness where she just can't fathom how the real world works.

OP did the right thing. Period. The rest is just your delusion.

You think it was the right thing. Not everyone agrees. The other spouse might have been one of those people. OP had no way of knowing which kind of person the other spouse is. OP did for herself without caring about the other person.

That’s the point. OP didn’t even care. She didn’t do it to save someone from a burning house. She did for herself. Even if it hurt an innocent party.

No that is not the point. The point is that you are making up fake scenarios in your head and arguing them like it's not some delusional fiction you created.

That is the thing about being delusional, you can't see it.

What fake scenario? That OP told the other spouse with no regard for them? That is exactly what happened.