Widower with three kids - am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because he's widowed with kids instead of a divorced dad it single and childless doesn't make him any less of a man. By that I mean he's still capable of wasting your time if you let him. You are 38 time is not on your side. You need to be clear in your own mind what you want in the future. And seriously evaluate if you're getting it from this man. April will be. 6 months for you guys if you don't have a clear definite answer by then you need to move on. And clear and definite is not we see a future together and take vacations. Not at your ages and when kids are involved. Wish you luck in live whether it be this relationship or another.

So many cold, calculating women....what happened to romance, falling in love, having fun? I feel sorry for you. No wonder you lives are so unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it’s a red flag he’s already introduced you to his kids and had you spend that much time with them.


I agree this is the main part that concerns me.

This is not a divorced dad who has another parent taking the kids 50% of the time. He is a widower, 3 kids, they are likely the center of his life, and anytime he spends with a gf is going to be including them.

Disagree. He should be even more cautious about involving his kids. I just don't see the great romance you all do.. I'm seeing a lot of red flags

Try reading the updates and the whole thread. OP sounds very sensible and eyes-wide-open.
OP— so glad it’s going well!

. I've been following the thread from the beginning and have come to a different conclusion than you so check your snotty attitude. Op has been anything but cautious. In real life not the romcom movies you love this situation has a lot of red flags mostly for the kids.

Dear Patty Party Pooper,

Sorry to break the news to you but just because you lead a miserable life doesn't mean others can't be happy.

You're probably the kind of person who hides affairs for their friends. Because life is complicated. Guess what babe life isn't a Hallmark movie. You and others are encouraging op to ignore potential red flags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because he's widowed with kids instead of a divorced dad it single and childless doesn't make him any less of a man. By that I mean he's still capable of wasting your time if you let him. You are 38 time is not on your side. You need to be clear in your own mind what you want in the future. And seriously evaluate if you're getting it from this man. April will be. 6 months for you guys if you don't have a clear definite answer by then you need to move on. And clear and definite is not we see a future together and take vacations. Not at your ages and when kids are involved. Wish you luck in live whether it be this relationship or another.

So many cold, calculating women....what happened to romance, falling in love, having fun? I feel sorry for you. No wonder you lives are so unhappy.

Oh look it's the pick me.! You can let men waste your time if you want to, but it's stupid to encourage other women to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it’s a red flag he’s already introduced you to his kids and had you spend that much time with them.


I agree this is the main part that concerns me.

This is not a divorced dad who has another parent taking the kids 50% of the time. He is a widower, 3 kids, they are likely the center of his life, and anytime he spends with a gf is going to be including them.

Disagree. He should be even more cautious about involving his kids. I just don't see the great romance you all do.. I'm seeing a lot of red flags

Try reading the updates and the whole thread. OP sounds very sensible and eyes-wide-open.
OP— so glad it’s going well!

. I've been following the thread from the beginning and have come to a different conclusion than you so check your snotty attitude. Op has been anything but cautious. In real life not the romcom movies you love this situation has a lot of red flags mostly for the kids.

Dear Patty Party Pooper,

Sorry to break the news to you but just because you lead a miserable life doesn't mean others can't be happy.

You're probably the kind of person who hides affairs for their friends. Because life is complicated. Guess what babe life isn't a Hallmark movie. You and others are encouraging op to ignore potential red flags.

I'm a man (though I appreciate you think of me as a babe). I've never watched a hallmark movie but I do like Love Actually. I don't spend my life looking for potential red flags where maybe they don't exist. I live today to the fullest because tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it’s a red flag he’s already introduced you to his kids and had you spend that much time with them.


I agree this is the main part that concerns me.

This is not a divorced dad who has another parent taking the kids 50% of the time. He is a widower, 3 kids, they are likely the center of his life, and anytime he spends with a gf is going to be including them.

Disagree. He should be even more cautious about involving his kids. I just don't see the great romance you all do.. I'm seeing a lot of red flags

Try reading the updates and the whole thread. OP sounds very sensible and eyes-wide-open.
OP— so glad it’s going well!

. I've been following the thread from the beginning and have come to a different conclusion than you so check your snotty attitude. Op has been anything but cautious. In real life not the romcom movies you love this situation has a lot of red flags mostly for the kids.

Dear Patty Party Pooper,

Sorry to break the news to you but just because you lead a miserable life doesn't mean others can't be happy.

You're probably the kind of person who hides affairs for their friends. Because life is complicated. Guess what babe life isn't a Hallmark movie. You and others are encouraging op to ignore potential red flags.

I'm a man (though I appreciate you think of me as a babe). I've never watched a hallmark movie but I do like Love Actually. I don't spend my life looking for potential red flags where maybe they don't exist. I live today to the fullest because tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

Of course you don't look for red flags. You are a man and women don't waste time like men do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he found a great nanny. One who takes care of the kids, sleeps with him and he doesn't need to pay.

I married a widower with a four year old and he never expected me to be a “nanny”. Of course he wanted me to be a “mom” along with being his wife which I did while continuing my career along with us having two children together. That was 25 years ago. It’s insulting that you have such disrespect for other women or just assume that they are like you.

Are you always this stupid? Marrying a widower with a child doesn't make you a nanny but op clearly is the nanny.

On what basis have you come to such a stupid conclusion? She’s a 38 year old professional who seems very cautious. In your mind is any woman who marries a guy with kids tagged as being a nanny?

OP here - I don't think many nannies make over $400k a year with a combined MBA/JD degree.

Bahaha! So your argument is you're not a nanny because you're more clever than most nannies because you have. a degree ( bs degree) and s large salary? You really are precious. While you're patting yourself on the back please note nannies and prostitutes are smart enough to get paid for doing what you're doing. Also a degree and 6 figures doesn't keep you from getting played by a man like you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he found a great nanny. One who takes care of the kids, sleeps with him and he doesn't need to pay.

I married a widower with a four year old and he never expected me to be a “nanny”. Of course he wanted me to be a “mom” along with being his wife which I did while continuing my career along with us having two children together. That was 25 years ago. It’s insulting that you have such disrespect for other women or just assume that they are like you.

Are you always this stupid? Marrying a widower with a child doesn't make you a nanny but op clearly is the nanny.

On what basis have you come to such a stupid conclusion? She’s a 38 year old professional who seems very cautious. In your mind is any woman who marries a guy with kids tagged as being a nanny?

OP here - I don't think many nannies make over $400k a year with a combined MBA/JD degree.

Bahaha! So your argument is you're not a nanny because you're more clever than most nannies because you have. a degree ( bs degree) and s large salary? You really are precious. While you're patting yourself on the back please note nannies and prostitutes are smart enough to get paid for doing what you're doing. Also a degree and 6 figures doesn't keep you from getting played by a man like you are.

Not op, but whoah you’re out of line & angry. I think you’re yelling into the wind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he found a great nanny. One who takes care of the kids, sleeps with him and he doesn't need to pay.

I married a widower with a four year old and he never expected me to be a “nanny”. Of course he wanted me to be a “mom” along with being his wife which I did while continuing my career along with us having two children together. That was 25 years ago. It’s insulting that you have such disrespect for other women or just assume that they are like you.

Are you always this stupid? Marrying a widower with a child doesn't make you a nanny but op clearly is the nanny.

On what basis have you come to such a stupid conclusion? She’s a 38 year old professional who seems very cautious. In your mind is any woman who marries a guy with kids tagged as being a nanny?

OP here - I don't think many nannies make over $400k a year with a combined MBA/JD degree.

Bahaha! So your argument is you're not a nanny because you're more clever than most nannies because you have. a degree ( bs degree) and s large salary? You really are precious. While you're patting yourself on the back please note nannies and prostitutes are smart enough to get paid for doing what you're doing. Also a degree and 6 figures doesn't keep you from getting played by a man like you are.

I don't know if she's getting played or not but at least she can write in complete, competent sentences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he found a great nanny. One who takes care of the kids, sleeps with him and he doesn't need to pay.

I married a widower with a four year old and he never expected me to be a “nanny”. Of course he wanted me to be a “mom” along with being his wife which I did while continuing my career along with us having two children together. That was 25 years ago. It’s insulting that you have such disrespect for other women or just assume that they are like you.

Are you always this stupid? Marrying a widower with a child doesn't make you a nanny but op clearly is the nanny.

On what basis have you come to such a stupid conclusion? She’s a 38 year old professional who seems very cautious. In your mind is any woman who marries a guy with kids tagged as being a nanny?

OP here - I don't think many nannies make over $400k a year with a combined MBA/JD degree.

Bahaha! So your argument is you're not a nanny because you're more clever than most nannies because you have. a degree ( bs degree) and s large salary? You really are precious. While you're patting yourself on the back please note nannies and prostitutes are smart enough to get paid for doing what you're doing. Also a degree and 6 figures doesn't keep you from getting played by a man like you are.

I think her argument is that, unlike you, she is an intelligent professional with enough brains to carefully think through what could be on the horizon. My only advice to her is to not let too many more months go by before she and the Dad decide on the future.

[Anonymous]

Hey, OP! How about an update? How are things going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, OP! How about an update? How are things going?

+1 I was happy to see this post bumped!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a red flag he’s already introduced you to his kids and had you spend that much time with them.

I agree this is the main part that concerns me.

She said she had to drop something for business off at his house. Since he's a single dad the kids were there and he introduced them. Pretty easy to understand as they were business friends.

Yeah, but staying for lunch and the soccer game is weird. Maybe lunch could have happened organically, but driving to a kid's soccer game is a little much. Theres's something off. It really is a red flag to get your kids involved with your romantic partners before it's serious.

I agree. If OP was a man and spent a whole day with a woman's kids, we'd think it was creepy, inappropriate, a desperate single mom putting her kids in danger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a red flag he’s already introduced you to his kids and had you spend that much time with them.

I agree this is the main part that concerns me.

She said she had to drop something for business off at his house. Since he's a single dad the kids were there and he introduced them. Pretty easy to understand as they were business friends.

Yeah, but staying for lunch and the soccer game is weird. Maybe lunch could have happened organically, but driving to a kid's soccer game is a little much. Theres's something off. It really is a red flag to get your kids involved with your romantic partners before it's serious.

I agree. If OP was a man and spent a whole day with a woman's kids, we'd think it was creepy, inappropriate, a desperate single mom putting her kids in danger.

+1

[Anonymous]

He might be woke, meaning he's not looking for a nanny as much as being a SAHD to his three kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey, OP! How about an update? How are things going?

+1 I was happy to see this post bumped!

Come on, OP! Give us an update!