Life with AP after divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
PP, you really do sound unhinged. It also sounds to me like you have zero respect for fathers in any context. A judge awarding a father full custody rather than commanding him to pay alimony + child support to provide stability sounds to me like there was something else going on in this situation. It is rare to hear of a father being awarded full custody. Frankly, it's rare to hear of ANYONE being awarded full custody when both parents want custody. That you think it's perfectly okay to take children away from their father but think that anyone who separates a child from his or her mother is "scum" says a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

Nothing the PP you're raging at posted indicates that her stepkids hate her. Nothing indicates that the children are experiencing "sheer misery" or concealing negative feelings towards the PP. You are clearly projecting something. Go ahead and tell yourself whatever stories you need to paint this woman as a venal child-stealer, but I would be very surprised if that is what the situation truly is.

A lot of things were possible in Georgia twenty years ago with the right judge.

The father separated himself when he went off and dated that woman before divorcing their mother. And she must have felt it was OK to separate her own children from her father - seeing as she took them along to live with her new husband.

Go home tonight and tell your young kids that daddy is leaving, and they have to go live with him and his new love. They won't live with mommy anymore. And please report back tomorrow with the story of their emotions.

Hey PP, tell me again how you're absolutely not personally connected to the situation when you somehow know that this occurred in Georgia 20 years ago?

I'm gonna repeat this slowly for you - this woman posts on DCUM ALL THE TIME, with personal details of her situation, and has been, for years. The story of a father and his new wife getting full custody of the husband's young kids, whose ages she usually mentions, is unusual enough that it sticks.

Go to the Parenting-Special Concerns forum, and search for "Georgia". It's there in all its glory.

You're not helping your situation at all. You're essentially attacking a person that you don't like because you've "seen her story all over DCUM" and have managed to remember it from the hundreds, if not thousands of threads here. You sound like a borderline stalker. My advice is that you go put yourself in some good therapy instead of spending your days trolling through threads on DCUM, it would probably do you a lot more good.

[Anonymous]

What's really scary is that I do have a good friend who lives in Burke. Her stepkids are from Georgia and they did get custody, although the kids were much older when that happened. I really hope this poster isn't stalking that poor woman. I have no idea if she is on dcum. I'm definitely going to ask her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
PP, you really do sound unhinged. It also sounds to me like you have zero respect for fathers in any context. A judge awarding a father full custody rather than commanding him to pay alimony + child support to provide stability sounds to me like there was something else going on in this situation. It is rare to hear of a father being awarded full custody. Frankly, it's rare to hear of ANYONE being awarded full custody when both parents want custody. That you think it's perfectly okay to take children away from their father but think that anyone who separates a child from his or her mother is "scum" says a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

Nothing the PP you're raging at posted indicates that her stepkids hate her. Nothing indicates that the children are experiencing "sheer misery" or concealing negative feelings towards the PP. You are clearly projecting something. Go ahead and tell yourself whatever stories you need to paint this woman as a venal child-stealer, but I would be very surprised if that is what the situation truly is.

A lot of things were possible in Georgia twenty years ago with the right judge.

The father separated himself when he went off and dated that woman before divorcing their mother. And she must have felt it was OK to separate her own children from her father - seeing as she took them along to live with her new husband.

Go home tonight and tell your young kids that daddy is leaving, and they have to go live with him and his new love. They won't live with mommy anymore. And please report back tomorrow with the story of their emotions.

Hey PP, tell me again how you're absolutely not personally connected to the situation when you somehow know that this occurred in Georgia 20 years ago?

I'm gonna repeat this slowly for you - this woman posts on DCUM ALL THE TIME, with personal details of her situation, and has been, for years. The story of a father and his new wife getting full custody of the husband's young kids, whose ages she usually mentions, is unusual enough that it sticks.

Go to the Parenting-Special Concerns forum, and search for "Georgia". It's there in all its glory.

You're not helping your situation at all. You're essentially attacking a person that you don't like because you've "seen her story all over DCUM" and have managed to remember it from the hundreds, if not thousands of threads here. You sound like a borderline stalker. My advice is that you go put yourself in some good therapy instead of spending your days trolling through threads on DCUM, it would probably do you a lot more good.

Isn't that what usually happens? We are all just stories to each other. No one here really knows anyone else. This story isn't difficult to remember, especially when the poster is so generous with the details. I happen to think that story is awful. So?

Thanks for your concern about my mental health - I prefer my conviction that children should stay with their mothers, even if their mothers are guilty of having less money. You are welcome to think it's unhealthy if you like.

[Anonymous]

My sister was an OW. Her husband was married with 2 kids when they met. He divorced, married my sister and they had a child. They have been together almost 30 years and have a very good marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
PP, you really do sound unhinged. It also sounds to me like you have zero respect for fathers in any context. A judge awarding a father full custody rather than commanding him to pay alimony + child support to provide stability sounds to me like there was something else going on in this situation. It is rare to hear of a father being awarded full custody. Frankly, it's rare to hear of ANYONE being awarded full custody when both parents want custody. That you think it's perfectly okay to take children away from their father but think that anyone who separates a child from his or her mother is "scum" says a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

Nothing the PP you're raging at posted indicates that her stepkids hate her. Nothing indicates that the children are experiencing "sheer misery" or concealing negative feelings towards the PP. You are clearly projecting something. Go ahead and tell yourself whatever stories you need to paint this woman as a venal child-stealer, but I would be very surprised if that is what the situation truly is.

A lot of things were possible in Georgia twenty years ago with the right judge.

The father separated himself when he went off and dated that woman before divorcing their mother. And she must have felt it was OK to separate her own children from her father - seeing as she took them along to live with her new husband.

Go home tonight and tell your young kids that daddy is leaving, and they have to go live with him and his new love. They won't live with mommy anymore. And please report back tomorrow with the story of their emotions.

Hey PP, tell me again how you're absolutely not personally connected to the situation when you somehow know that this occurred in Georgia 20 years ago?

I'm gonna repeat this slowly for you - this woman posts on DCUM ALL THE TIME, with personal details of her situation, and has been, for years. The story of a father and his new wife getting full custody of the husband's young kids, whose ages she usually mentions, is unusual enough that it sticks.

Go to the Parenting-Special Concerns forum, and search for "Georgia". It's there in all its glory.

You're not helping your situation at all. You're essentially attacking a person that you don't like because you've "seen her story all over DCUM" and have managed to remember it from the hundreds, if not thousands of threads here. You sound like a borderline stalker. My advice is that you go put yourself in some good therapy instead of spending your days trolling through threads on DCUM, it would probably do you a lot more good.

Isn't that what usually happens? We are all just stories to each other. No one here really knows anyone else. This story isn't difficult to remember, especially when the poster is so generous with the details. I happen to think that story is awful. So?

Thanks for your concern about my mental health - I prefer my conviction that children should stay with their mothers, even if their mothers are guilty of having less money. You are welcome to think it's unhealthy if you like.

Oh PP, that's not the part that I think is unhealthy, but good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

I have no dog in this fight, but I just want to say that it's not uncommon or like being a stalker at all that you remember someone who posts frequently on this site. I definitely know this Georgia step mom too. She definitely talks about how she got custody of her kids from the biological mom who had less money after her divorce and had to work and not stay at home. And it reads as very gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but that's bs you don't just lose your kids because your ex husband has more money. You sound bitter.
Go tend to your husband before someone takes him.

Then you should ask the Stepmother of the Year what story they used with the judge to make it sound like "more financially stable" is the right reason to take the kids away.

Is that me? Am I "stepparent of the year"? Awesome. I'm sure there are much better stepmothers, but I'll take it!

I don't know why I am even answering, but here you go - We (sorry, my DH) gained physical custody when the kids were 4 and 7. This was about a year after the divorce. We were paying $2,850 a month in child support for two kids. They lived in a very low cost of living area. She could have easily supported herself and the kids on the $34,200 per year she received in child support. Remember, that is TAX FREE income. A part time job would have made it very easy. We also paid for daycare and 1/2 of medical, extra-curricular, and other expenses. We provided health and medical insurance. She still managed to be evicted from three home after the home that my DH gave her was foreclosed on. The mortgage payments were very reasonable. THREE HOMES plus the foreclosure. She had utilities shut off over and over again. She simply was not able to take care of them. She loves them. But she is a child. She never grew up. She thought it was funny to get speeding tickets. She lost her car insurance after her fifth speeding ticket. Right after her third eviction, she got breast implants! Again, she was a 30 something year old teenager.

Yes, we did move. DH is a fed. We were transferred to D.C. At that point, she had made very little effort to see the kids in close to two years. Had she been an active part of their lives, my DH might have turned down the promotion and stayed. We petitioned the court and we were allowed to move with the kids. The kids didn't even really know her by that point. After we moved, we offered to pay for them to fly to see her. There was always an excuse. There was always a reason it was a bad time.

So yes, financial stability matters. It just does. We were able to give all five of our kids a warm, clean, safe, stable home. You are essentially attacking me for loving my stepchildren. Two of my biological kids have a stepmother. I am over-the-moon thrilled that she loves them and they love her.

I'm going to say you are awesome.

[Anonymous]

Just to chime in, I recognize Georgia stepmom too. Nobody is stalking her. She posts a lot with lots of details. I recall specifically people challenging her claim that in Georgia 20 years ago her husband was paying nearly $3k a month in support. There are many things that don't necessarily add up or sound as simple as she makes but that's neither here nor there. "Angry pp" shouldn't be accused of stalking a woman who proudly has shared much of her life here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to chime in, I recognize Georgia stepmom too. Nobody is stalking her. She posts a lot with lots of details. I recall specifically people challenging her claim that in Georgia 20 years ago her husband was paying nearly $3k a month in support. There are many things that don't necessarily add up or sound as simple as she makes but that's neither here nor there. "Angry pp" shouldn't be accused of stalking a woman who proudly has shared much of her life here.

Ok, so 'Angry PP' isn't a stalker. 'Angry PP' still should consider taking a step back and not being so personally enraged by an anonymous poster on DC Forum. Spitting straight venom at a person they only know from their story on a forum is absolutely insane.

[Anonymous]

Many of the wives in this thread are insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of the wives in this thread are insane.

I have posted. I'm not particularly a party line voter on this issue, as it were. I do think good people can cheat and find something better and regret that that was the path they took but also see that they were in a hurt place in their life where they didn't make the best decisions on certain things. I also think some people who cheat are just assholes. Some ex wives are a pain in the ass, but I confess to more than once getting really annoyed at some ex wife on DCUM who *just can't let it go* that her husband divorced and moved on and won't accept any responsibility in that. Like, at a certain point, yeah, get the fuck over it. It's over, build a bridge.

So, basically, I can lean either way depending on the situation. I certainly don't believe all APs and OWs and OMs are awful people, though they might have done something that did cause hurt to someone else. However, on this thread, the one PP who is obsessed with how "crazy" her boyfriend's ex is, and thinks she knows the whole story in and out yet also has never met his kid and has ingrained herself in someone else's dramafest despite her own many issues- she is the kind of person who makes people think all OW suck. She's fallen hook, line, and sinker for the "ex wife is crazy and harmful and awful" trope, sticks by it no matter what, and firmly believes the woman is just a certifiably insane person who was a burden to her perfect boyfriend. The Bertha Mason to her Mr. Rochester, locked in the attic, not able to be divorced due to vague trickery she perpetrates through her mental instability. Yeah, ok.

Georgia Stepmom also paints herself as some savior to her stepchildren. Well, you can be a good stepmom and love your stepkids and not also make yourself out to be the "better mom" than their bio mom. Maybe she does suck as a mom. But she is STILL THEIR MOM and whether Georgia Stepmom believes it or not, they do love her, despite her faults, because of that. Kids love their moms even when they know they aren't great or as good as other parents. They just do. So she can really lose people with her Other Woman's Burden spiel she loves to pull out when she needs lauds again.

[Anonymous]

You sound insane too. I didn't take that away from those stories at all. Not a particular party line voter my ass.

[Anonymous]

There's more to being a Mom than giving birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to chime in, I recognize Georgia stepmom too. Nobody is stalking her. She posts a lot with lots of details. I recall specifically people challenging her claim that in Georgia 20 years ago her husband was paying nearly $3k a month in support. There are many things that don't necessarily add up or sound as simple as she makes but that's neither here nor there. "Angry pp" shouldn't be accused of stalking a woman who proudly has shared much of her life here.

Ok, so 'Angry PP' isn't a stalker. 'Angry PP' still should consider taking a step back and not being so personally enraged by an anonymous poster on DC Forum. Spitting straight venom at a person they only know from their story on a forum is absolutely insane.

Who died and made you in charge of how much emotion who should be feeling on account of what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to chime in, I recognize Georgia stepmom too. Nobody is stalking her. She posts a lot with lots of details. I recall specifically people challenging her claim that in Georgia 20 years ago her husband was paying nearly $3k a month in support. There are many things that don't necessarily add up or sound as simple as she makes but that's neither here nor there. "Angry pp" shouldn't be accused of stalking a woman who proudly has shared much of her life here.

Ok, so 'Angry PP' isn't a stalker. 'Angry PP' still should consider taking a step back and not being so personally enraged by an anonymous poster on DC Forum. Spitting straight venom at a person they only know from their story on a forum is absolutely insane.

Who died and made you in charge of how much emotion who should be feeling on account of what?

If you can't see that getting that worked up over an anonymous person's story on a forum is a bit unhealthy, I'm really sad for you.