Life with AP after divorce

[Anonymous]

This angry poster is vile

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Really odd. I'm guessing she is applying her situation to mine. Nothing else makes sense. If our kids' bio mother had wanted to be at graduations, she would have been there. She did come to the wedding. She had visitation rights - every other weekend and four weeks during the summer. We would have given more had she asked. At most she saw the kids twice a year. She took them for a few days around Winter Break and for a long weekend over the summer. She never called. I had the kids call her. When they got older, they stopped visiting. They didn't want to spend time with her, she didn't press it so neither did we. I wish they had a better relationship with her, but only for selfish reasons. I don't want her to drop dead and the kids have to live with guilt for not seeing her. The relationship has improved a little. They still won't visit with her for more than a couple of days, but at least they will go. The younger of the two is in college. She was with us for about a month over the summer and I convinced her to spend a couple of days with her mom while she was here. I'm not a monster. Their mother had every opportunity to stay involved after my DH was awarded custody. They were 4 and 7, for heavens sake! She is the one who bailed. The kids are angry, but not at me or their father.

This angry poster is either worried about losing her kids in a custody battle or off her meds.

I don't need to apply your situation to mine to see the sheer misery you brought to these children. You got custody because you were "more financially stable" - meaning your new husband could underwrite you staying at home - then you moved away, and you're blaming the mom for not having money to visit every other weekend? Priceless.

The rest, well, whatever stories you have to tell yourself to make it seem like you did a better job than their mother possibly could.

People who take children away from their mothers for money are scum. No matter how many toys they buy or how many weddings they plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Really odd. I'm guessing she is applying her situation to mine. Nothing else makes sense. If our kids' bio mother had wanted to be at graduations, she would have been there. She did come to the wedding. She had visitation rights - every other weekend and four weeks during the summer. We would have given more had she asked. At most she saw the kids twice a year. She took them for a few days around Winter Break and for a long weekend over the summer. She never called. I had the kids call her. When they got older, they stopped visiting. They didn't want to spend time with her, she didn't press it so neither did we. I wish they had a better relationship with her, but only for selfish reasons. I don't want her to drop dead and the kids have to live with guilt for not seeing her. The relationship has improved a little. They still won't visit with her for more than a couple of days, but at least they will go. The younger of the two is in college. She was with us for about a month over the summer and I convinced her to spend a couple of days with her mom while she was here. I'm not a monster. Their mother had every opportunity to stay involved after my DH was awarded custody. They were 4 and 7, for heavens sake! She is the one who bailed. The kids are angry, but not at me or their father.

This angry poster is either worried about losing her kids in a custody battle or off her meds.

I don't need to apply your situation to mine to see the sheer misery you brought to these children. You got custody because you were "more financially stable" - meaning your new husband could underwrite you staying at home - then you moved away, and you're blaming the mom for not having money to visit every other weekend? Priceless.

The rest, well, whatever stories you have to tell yourself to make it seem like you did a better job than their mother possibly could.

People who take children away from their mothers for money are scum. No matter how many toys they buy or how many weddings they plan.

PP, how do you know they "moved away with the kids"? I don't see anywhere that PP said they moved away, in fact, if anything it seemed like she was closer by as it doesn't appear it was a huge ordeal to go visit her. You're a piece of work, speaking to the PP as if you have her entire situation figured out, when it's pretty apparent that you ARE in fact applying her situation to yours and trying to make whatever must have happened to you be the PP's situation as well. You sound absolutely insane.

[Anonymous]

Not the PP but that's bs you don't just lose your kids because your ex husband has more money. You sound bitter.
Go tend to your husband before someone takes him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Really odd. I'm guessing she is applying her situation to mine. Nothing else makes sense. If our kids' bio mother had wanted to be at graduations, she would have been there. She did come to the wedding. She had visitation rights - every other weekend and four weeks during the summer. We would have given more had she asked. At most she saw the kids twice a year. She took them for a few days around Winter Break and for a long weekend over the summer. She never called. I had the kids call her. When they got older, they stopped visiting. They didn't want to spend time with her, she didn't press it so neither did we. I wish they had a better relationship with her, but only for selfish reasons. I don't want her to drop dead and the kids have to live with guilt for not seeing her. The relationship has improved a little. They still won't visit with her for more than a couple of days, but at least they will go. The younger of the two is in college. She was with us for about a month over the summer and I convinced her to spend a couple of days with her mom while she was here. I'm not a monster. Their mother had every opportunity to stay involved after my DH was awarded custody. They were 4 and 7, for heavens sake! She is the one who bailed. The kids are angry, but not at me or their father.

This angry poster is either worried about losing her kids in a custody battle or off her meds.

I don't need to apply your situation to mine to see the sheer misery you brought to these children. You got custody because you were "more financially stable" - meaning your new husband could underwrite you staying at home - then you moved away, and you're blaming the mom for not having money to visit every other weekend? Priceless.

The rest, well, whatever stories you have to tell yourself to make it seem like you did a better job than their mother possibly could.

People who take children away from their mothers for money are scum. No matter how many toys they buy or how many weddings they plan.

PP, how do you know they "moved away with the kids"? I don't see anywhere that PP said they moved away, in fact, if anything it seemed like she was closer by as it doesn't appear it was a huge ordeal to go visit her. You're a piece of work, speaking to the PP as if you have her entire situation figured out, when it's pretty apparent that you ARE in fact applying her situation to yours and trying to make whatever must have happened to you be the PP's situation as well. You sound absolutely insane.

Dude, she posts here all the time. She is the one who said that they moved away. I only go by what she said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but that's bs you don't just lose your kids because your ex husband has more money. You sound bitter.
Go tend to your husband before someone takes him.

Then you should ask the Stepmother of the Year what story they used with the judge to make it sound like "more financially stable" is the right reason to take the kids away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Really odd. I'm guessing she is applying her situation to mine. Nothing else makes sense. If our kids' bio mother had wanted to be at graduations, she would have been there. She did come to the wedding. She had visitation rights - every other weekend and four weeks during the summer. We would have given more had she asked. At most she saw the kids twice a year. She took them for a few days around Winter Break and for a long weekend over the summer. She never called. I had the kids call her. When they got older, they stopped visiting. They didn't want to spend time with her, she didn't press it so neither did we. I wish they had a better relationship with her, but only for selfish reasons. I don't want her to drop dead and the kids have to live with guilt for not seeing her. The relationship has improved a little. They still won't visit with her for more than a couple of days, but at least they will go. The younger of the two is in college. She was with us for about a month over the summer and I convinced her to spend a couple of days with her mom while she was here. I'm not a monster. Their mother had every opportunity to stay involved after my DH was awarded custody. They were 4 and 7, for heavens sake! She is the one who bailed. The kids are angry, but not at me or their father.

This angry poster is either worried about losing her kids in a custody battle or off her meds.

I don't need to apply your situation to mine to see the sheer misery you brought to these children. You got custody because you were "more financially stable" - meaning your new husband could underwrite you staying at home - then you moved away, and you're blaming the mom for not having money to visit every other weekend? Priceless.

The rest, well, whatever stories you have to tell yourself to make it seem like you did a better job than their mother possibly could.

People who take children away from their mothers for money are scum. No matter how many toys they buy or how many weddings they plan.

PP, how do you know they "moved away with the kids"? I don't see anywhere that PP said they moved away, in fact, if anything it seemed like she was closer by as it doesn't appear it was a huge ordeal to go visit her. You're a piece of work, speaking to the PP as if you have her entire situation figured out, when it's pretty apparent that you ARE in fact applying her situation to yours and trying to make whatever must have happened to you be the PP's situation as well. You sound absolutely insane.

Dude, she posts here all the time. She is the one who said that they moved away. I only go by what she said.

PP, you really do sound unhinged. It also sounds to me like you have zero respect for fathers in any context. A judge awarding a father full custody rather than commanding him to pay alimony + child support to provide stability sounds to me like there was something else going on in this situation. It is rare to hear of a father being awarded full custody. Frankly, it's rare to hear of ANYONE being awarded full custody when both parents want custody. That you think it's perfectly okay to take children away from their father but think that anyone who separates a child from his or her mother is "scum" says a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

Nothing the PP you're raging at posted indicates that her stepkids hate her. Nothing indicates that the children are experiencing "sheer misery" or concealing negative feelings towards the PP. You are clearly projecting something. Go ahead and tell yourself whatever stories you need to paint this woman as a venal child-stealer, but I would be very surprised if that is what the situation truly is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
PP, you really do sound unhinged. It also sounds to me like you have zero respect for fathers in any context. A judge awarding a father full custody rather than commanding him to pay alimony + child support to provide stability sounds to me like there was something else going on in this situation. It is rare to hear of a father being awarded full custody. Frankly, it's rare to hear of ANYONE being awarded full custody when both parents want custody. That you think it's perfectly okay to take children away from their father but think that anyone who separates a child from his or her mother is "scum" says a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

Nothing the PP you're raging at posted indicates that her stepkids hate her. Nothing indicates that the children are experiencing "sheer misery" or concealing negative feelings towards the PP. You are clearly projecting something. Go ahead and tell yourself whatever stories you need to paint this woman as a venal child-stealer, but I would be very surprised if that is what the situation truly is.

A lot of things were possible in Georgia twenty years ago with the right judge.

The father separated himself when he went off and dated that woman before divorcing their mother. And she must have felt it was OK to separate her own children from her father - seeing as she took them along to live with her new husband.

Go home tonight and tell your young kids that daddy is leaving, and they have to go live with him and his new love. They won't live with mommy anymore. And please report back tomorrow with the story of their emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but that's bs you don't just lose your kids because your ex husband has more money. You sound bitter.
Go tend to your husband before someone takes him.

Then you should ask the Stepmother of the Year what story they used with the judge to make it sound like "more financially stable" is the right reason to take the kids away.

Is that me? Am I "stepparent of the year"? Awesome. I'm sure there are much better stepmothers, but I'll take it!

I don't know why I am even answering, but here you go - We (sorry, my DH) gained physical custody when the kids were 4 and 7. This was about a year after the divorce. We were paying $2,850 a month in child support for two kids. They lived in a very low cost of living area. She could have easily supported herself and the kids on the $34,200 per year she received in child support. Remember, that is TAX FREE income. A part time job would have made it very easy. We also paid for daycare and 1/2 of medical, extra-curricular, and other expenses. We provided health and medical insurance. She still managed to be evicted from three home after the home that my DH gave her was foreclosed on. The mortgage payments were very reasonable. THREE HOMES plus the foreclosure. She had utilities shut off over and over again. She simply was not able to take care of them. She loves them. But she is a child. She never grew up. She thought it was funny to get speeding tickets. She lost her car insurance after her fifth speeding ticket. Right after her third eviction, she got breast implants! Again, she was a 30 something year old teenager.

Yes, we did move. DH is a fed. We were transferred to D.C. At that point, she had made very little effort to see the kids in close to two years. Had she been an active part of their lives, my DH might have turned down the promotion and stayed. We petitioned the court and we were allowed to move with the kids. The kids didn't even really know her by that point. After we moved, we offered to pay for them to fly to see her. There was always an excuse. There was always a reason it was a bad time.

So yes, financial stability matters. It just does. We were able to give all five of our kids a warm, clean, safe, stable home. You are essentially attacking me for loving my stepchildren. Two of my biological kids have a stepmother. I am over-the-moon thrilled that she loves them and they love her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
PP, you really do sound unhinged. It also sounds to me like you have zero respect for fathers in any context. A judge awarding a father full custody rather than commanding him to pay alimony + child support to provide stability sounds to me like there was something else going on in this situation. It is rare to hear of a father being awarded full custody. Frankly, it's rare to hear of ANYONE being awarded full custody when both parents want custody. That you think it's perfectly okay to take children away from their father but think that anyone who separates a child from his or her mother is "scum" says a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

Nothing the PP you're raging at posted indicates that her stepkids hate her. Nothing indicates that the children are experiencing "sheer misery" or concealing negative feelings towards the PP. You are clearly projecting something. Go ahead and tell yourself whatever stories you need to paint this woman as a venal child-stealer, but I would be very surprised if that is what the situation truly is.

A lot of things were possible in Georgia twenty years ago with the right judge.

The father separated himself when he went off and dated that woman before divorcing their mother. And she must have felt it was OK to separate her own children from her father - seeing as she took them along to live with her new husband.

Go home tonight and tell your young kids that daddy is leaving, and they have to go live with him and his new love. They won't live with mommy anymore. And please report back tomorrow with the story of their emotions.

Do you know the PP such that you know exactly what was going on? You sound increasingly like the ex.

I was talking about how YOU felt about separating kids from their fathers - not the poster you hate. YOU are the one talking about how evil it is to separate kids from their moms with no mention of their dads. Maybe it WAS better for the kids to live with their dad. I know several women who that would be true for. You seem to have an unusually detailed amount of information about a stranger on the internet. That is weird and creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
PP, you really do sound unhinged. It also sounds to me like you have zero respect for fathers in any context. A judge awarding a father full custody rather than commanding him to pay alimony + child support to provide stability sounds to me like there was something else going on in this situation. It is rare to hear of a father being awarded full custody. Frankly, it's rare to hear of ANYONE being awarded full custody when both parents want custody. That you think it's perfectly okay to take children away from their father but think that anyone who separates a child from his or her mother is "scum" says a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

Nothing the PP you're raging at posted indicates that her stepkids hate her. Nothing indicates that the children are experiencing "sheer misery" or concealing negative feelings towards the PP. You are clearly projecting something. Go ahead and tell yourself whatever stories you need to paint this woman as a venal child-stealer, but I would be very surprised if that is what the situation truly is.

A lot of things were possible in Georgia twenty years ago with the right judge.

The father separated himself when he went off and dated that woman before divorcing their mother. And she must have felt it was OK to separate her own children from her father - seeing as she took them along to live with her new husband.

Go home tonight and tell your young kids that daddy is leaving, and they have to go live with him and his new love. They won't live with mommy anymore. And please report back tomorrow with the story of their emotions.

Do you know the PP such that you know exactly what was going on? You sound increasingly like the ex.

I was talking about how YOU felt about separating kids from their fathers - not the poster you hate. YOU are the one talking about how evil it is to separate kids from their moms with no mention of their dads. Maybe it WAS better for the kids to live with their dad. I know several women who that would be true for. You seem to have an unusually detailed amount of information about a stranger on the internet. That is weird and creepy.

It's easy when that stranger posts her story here over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
PP, you really do sound unhinged. It also sounds to me like you have zero respect for fathers in any context. A judge awarding a father full custody rather than commanding him to pay alimony + child support to provide stability sounds to me like there was something else going on in this situation. It is rare to hear of a father being awarded full custody. Frankly, it's rare to hear of ANYONE being awarded full custody when both parents want custody. That you think it's perfectly okay to take children away from their father but think that anyone who separates a child from his or her mother is "scum" says a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

Nothing the PP you're raging at posted indicates that her stepkids hate her. Nothing indicates that the children are experiencing "sheer misery" or concealing negative feelings towards the PP. You are clearly projecting something. Go ahead and tell yourself whatever stories you need to paint this woman as a venal child-stealer, but I would be very surprised if that is what the situation truly is.

A lot of things were possible in Georgia twenty years ago with the right judge.

The father separated himself when he went off and dated that woman before divorcing their mother. And she must have felt it was OK to separate her own children from her father - seeing as she took them along to live with her new husband.

Go home tonight and tell your young kids that daddy is leaving, and they have to go live with him and his new love. They won't live with mommy anymore. And please report back tomorrow with the story of their emotions.

Hey PP, tell me again how you're absolutely not personally connected to the situation when you somehow know that this occurred in Georgia 20 years ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
PP, you really do sound unhinged. It also sounds to me like you have zero respect for fathers in any context. A judge awarding a father full custody rather than commanding him to pay alimony + child support to provide stability sounds to me like there was something else going on in this situation. It is rare to hear of a father being awarded full custody. Frankly, it's rare to hear of ANYONE being awarded full custody when both parents want custody. That you think it's perfectly okay to take children away from their father but think that anyone who separates a child from his or her mother is "scum" says a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

Nothing the PP you're raging at posted indicates that her stepkids hate her. Nothing indicates that the children are experiencing "sheer misery" or concealing negative feelings towards the PP. You are clearly projecting something. Go ahead and tell yourself whatever stories you need to paint this woman as a venal child-stealer, but I would be very surprised if that is what the situation truly is.

A lot of things were possible in Georgia twenty years ago with the right judge.

The father separated himself when he went off and dated that woman before divorcing their mother. And she must have felt it was OK to separate her own children from her father - seeing as she took them along to live with her new husband.

Go home tonight and tell your young kids that daddy is leaving, and they have to go live with him and his new love. They won't live with mommy anymore. And please report back tomorrow with the story of their emotions.

Do you know the PP such that you know exactly what was going on? You sound increasingly like the ex.

I was talking about how YOU felt about separating kids from their fathers - not the poster you hate. YOU are the one talking about how evil it is to separate kids from their moms with no mention of their dads. Maybe it WAS better for the kids to live with their dad. I know several women who that would be true for. You seem to have an unusually detailed amount of information about a stranger on the internet. That is weird and creepy.

Very creepy. But a lot of what she says doesn't describe me so I'm not her exes wife, thankfully. I feel bad for the woman who is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but that's bs you don't just lose your kids because your ex husband has more money. You sound bitter.
Go tend to your husband before someone takes him.

Then you should ask the Stepmother of the Year what story they used with the judge to make it sound like "more financially stable" is the right reason to take the kids away.

Is that me? Am I "stepparent of the year"? Awesome. I'm sure there are much better stepmothers, but I'll take it!

I don't know why I am even answering, but here you go - We (sorry, my DH) gained physical custody when the kids were 4 and 7. This was about a year after the divorce. We were paying $2,850 a month in child support for two kids. They lived in a very low cost of living area. She could have easily supported herself and the kids on the $34,200 per year she received in child support. Remember, that is TAX FREE income. A part time job would have made it very easy. We also paid for daycare and 1/2 of medical, extra-curricular, and other expenses. We provided health and medical insurance. She still managed to be evicted from three home after the home that my DH gave her was foreclosed on. The mortgage payments were very reasonable. THREE HOMES plus the foreclosure. She had utilities shut off over and over again. She simply was not able to take care of them. She loves them. But she is a child. She never grew up. She thought it was funny to get speeding tickets. She lost her car insurance after her fifth speeding ticket. Right after her third eviction, she got breast implants! Again, she was a 30 something year old teenager.

Yes, we did move. DH is a fed. We were transferred to D.C. At that point, she had made very little effort to see the kids in close to two years. Had she been an active part of their lives, my DH might have turned down the promotion and stayed. We petitioned the court and we were allowed to move with the kids. The kids didn't even really know her by that point. After we moved, we offered to pay for them to fly to see her. There was always an excuse. There was always a reason it was a bad time.

So yes, financial stability matters. It just does. We were able to give all five of our kids a warm, clean, safe, stable home. You are essentially attacking me for loving my stepchildren. Two of my biological kids have a stepmother. I am over-the-moon thrilled that she loves them and they love her.

The ex-wife is never normal, is she.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
PP, you really do sound unhinged. It also sounds to me like you have zero respect for fathers in any context. A judge awarding a father full custody rather than commanding him to pay alimony + child support to provide stability sounds to me like there was something else going on in this situation. It is rare to hear of a father being awarded full custody. Frankly, it's rare to hear of ANYONE being awarded full custody when both parents want custody. That you think it's perfectly okay to take children away from their father but think that anyone who separates a child from his or her mother is "scum" says a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

Nothing the PP you're raging at posted indicates that her stepkids hate her. Nothing indicates that the children are experiencing "sheer misery" or concealing negative feelings towards the PP. You are clearly projecting something. Go ahead and tell yourself whatever stories you need to paint this woman as a venal child-stealer, but I would be very surprised if that is what the situation truly is.

A lot of things were possible in Georgia twenty years ago with the right judge.

The father separated himself when he went off and dated that woman before divorcing their mother. And she must have felt it was OK to separate her own children from her father - seeing as she took them along to live with her new husband.

Go home tonight and tell your young kids that daddy is leaving, and they have to go live with him and his new love. They won't live with mommy anymore. And please report back tomorrow with the story of their emotions.

Hey PP, tell me again how you're absolutely not personally connected to the situation when you somehow know that this occurred in Georgia 20 years ago?

I'm gonna repeat this slowly for you - this woman posts on DCUM ALL THE TIME, with personal details of her situation, and has been, for years. The story of a father and his new wife getting full custody of the husband's young kids, whose ages she usually mentions, is unusual enough that it sticks.

Go to the Parenting-Special Concerns forum, and search for "Georgia". It's there in all its glory.