Life with AP after divorce

[Anonymous]

Someone who threatens to kill someone's dogs are not well. Stalking the other woman is not sane. If I had met his child you would bitch about that. I love how the women on these boards keep bringing up the fact that I haven't met his child before the divorce is finalized as a bad thing.
I thought my boyfriend was exaggerating about her until I experienced her craziness first hand. I became invested when she began Stalking me and getting personal info from my rapist. That is insane. Threatening to confront someone with your child " the baby will be waving at you" is not normal. She has no clue how I'd react.
Putting a GPS tracker on your husbands car is not normal.
" I have a tracker on his car and I will be everywhere he is". Her askING me about my education because although he is a high earning white collar worker his family is blue collar. She is trash. I only told the back story when you people started acting like she was mother Theresa. I noticed you were silent about the half naked pictures on dating sites like Adult friend finder and Ashley Madisson. You people are unbelievavle.

If you think me describing my happiness means he's perfect you have issues. All relationships have ups and downs. I am incredibly happy. Sorry if you've never felt that way or no one has ever felt that way about you.

If you think this is normal behavior go see a shrink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many of the wives in this thread are insane.

I have posted. I'm not particularly a party line voter on this issue, as it were. I do think good people can cheat and find something better and regret that that was the path they took but also see that they were in a hurt place in their life where they didn't make the best decisions on certain things. I also think some people who cheat are just assholes. Some ex wives are a pain in the ass, but I confess to more than once getting really annoyed at some ex wife on DCUM who *just can't let it go* that her husband divorced and moved on and won't accept any responsibility in that. Like, at a certain point, yeah, get the fuck over it. It's over, build a bridge.

So, basically, I can lean either way depending on the situation. I certainly don't believe all APs and OWs and OMs are awful people, though they might have done something that did cause hurt to someone else. However, on this thread, the one PP who is obsessed with how "crazy" her boyfriend's ex is, and thinks she knows the whole story in and out yet also has never met his kid and has ingrained herself in someone else's dramafest despite her own many issues- she is the kind of person who makes people think all OW suck. She's fallen hook, line, and sinker for the "ex wife is crazy and harmful and awful" trope, sticks by it no matter what, and firmly believes the woman is just a certifiably insane person who was a burden to her perfect boyfriend. The Bertha Mason to her Mr. Rochester, locked in the attic, not able to be divorced due to vague trickery she perpetrates through her mental instability. Yeah, ok.

Georgia Stepmom also paints herself as some savior to her stepchildren. Well, you can be a good stepmom and love your stepkids and not also make yourself out to be the "better mom" than their bio mom. Maybe she does suck as a mom. But she is STILL THEIR MOM and whether Georgia Stepmom believes it or not, they do love her, despite her faults, because of that. Kids love their moms even when they know they aren't great or as good as other parents. They just do. So she can really lose people with her Other Woman's Burden spiel she loves to pull out when she needs lauds again.

Pretty much agree with all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many of the wives in this thread are insane.

I have posted. I'm not particularly a party line voter on this issue, as it were. I do think good people can cheat and find something better and regret that that was the path they took but also see that they were in a hurt place in their life where they didn't make the best decisions on certain things. I also think some people who cheat are just assholes. Some ex wives are a pain in the ass, but I confess to more than once getting really annoyed at some ex wife on DCUM who *just can't let it go* that her husband divorced and moved on and won't accept any responsibility in that. Like, at a certain point, yeah, get the fuck over it. It's over, build a bridge.

So, basically, I can lean either way depending on the situation. I certainly don't believe all APs and OWs and OMs are awful people, though they might have done something that did cause hurt to someone else. However, on this thread, the one PP who is obsessed with how "crazy" her boyfriend's ex is, and thinks she knows the whole story in and out yet also has never met his kid and has ingrained herself in someone else's dramafest despite her own many issues- she is the kind of person who makes people think all OW suck. She's fallen hook, line, and sinker for the "ex wife is crazy and harmful and awful" trope, sticks by it no matter what, and firmly believes the woman is just a certifiably insane person who was a burden to her perfect boyfriend. The Bertha Mason to her Mr. Rochester, locked in the attic, not able to be divorced due to vague trickery she perpetrates through her mental instability. Yeah, ok.

Georgia Stepmom also paints herself as some savior to her stepchildren. Well, you can be a good stepmom and love your stepkids and not also make yourself out to be the "better mom" than their bio mom. Maybe she does suck as a mom. But she is STILL THEIR MOM and whether Georgia Stepmom believes it or not, they do love her, despite her faults, because of that. Kids love their moms even when they know they aren't great or as good as other parents. They just do. So she can really lose people with her Other Woman's Burden spiel she loves to pull out when she needs lauds again.

Pretty much agree with all of this.

You're in agreement with yourself?

[Anonymous]

^i was the one in agreement, was not sock puppeting. You can check w the admin if you care that much.

[Anonymous]

I don't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't

I wrote the comment she agreed with. It wasn't sock puppeting just because two people don't buy your crazy ex wife story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't

I wrote the comment she agreed with. It wasn't sock puppeting just because two people don't buy your crazy ex wife story.

No one cares if you believe me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH left his ex for me. I wasn't really an AP in the normal sense. There was no deceit or sneaking around. He moved out before we started dating. They were separated, but still married. In hind site, I wish we had waited until the divorce was final. I think it would have been easier for her. The kids were too young to know the difference. They were 4 and 7. After we got married, they lived with us full time.

We are still married and have been for over 20 years. Kids are grown and gone. We are happy. Our kids are happy. My DH's ex is remarried, but still very bitter about the divorce. That bitterness has caused a lot of problems in her relationship with the kids. She pretty much bailed on them after my DH was awarded custody. She never paid child support, made no effort to exercise her visitation, didn't call them for months at a time. They are still resentful and don't have much of a relationship with her at all. They'll see her once or twice a year. That's an improvement over what it was a few years ago. I really wish that relationship was better. When the kids lived with us, I tried to encourage them to repair it. Once they left for college I stpped trying.

So, yes we are still married. Yes, we are happy. Yes, our kids (his, mine, and ours) are happy. My ex is happily remarried to a wonderful woman. The only one who never moved on is my DH's ex.

So you broke two families? Your own and his?

Like there aren't enough single women to cheat with?

[Anonymous]

I'm a NP who remembers Georgia mom's story and what always gets me is the undercurrent of glee with which she posts. When I saw this thread, I knew she'd pop up at some point. I don't believe her version of events.

Anyhow. My FIL had an affair and married his AP over 30 years ago. He's been having some major medical problems lately after living a mostly healthy life. When he started finally showing signs of age and having medical problems, his wife disappeared, including moving physically out of the house for most of the year. We arrange for his care and are the ones that show up when he has problems. He had a stroke and she didn't bother to even visit him in the hospital. We have to be really careful because she is still married to him and could cut off our access, but she makes no move to help him.

I was grousing about the situation to an eldercare nursing specialist and her response, "Oh, second wife? Yeah, those ones run away as soon as the health problems start." She said she sees it all the time. Sometimes the original wife ends up caring for the man after AP/wife disappears, even 30+ years after the affair and divorce.

[Anonymous]

She ghosted on him after more than 30 yrs??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She ghosted on him after more than 30 yrs??

Yeah, mostly. Not entirely ghosted because she does come back occasionally. What struck me was the specialist who said that it's part of a pattern she sees regularly. I hadn't realized that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She ghosted on him after more than 30 yrs??

Yeah, mostly. Not entirely ghosted because she does come back occasionally. What struck me was the specialist who said that it's part of a pattern she sees regularly. I hadn't realized that.

That's really sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a NP who remembers Georgia mom's story and what always gets me is the undercurrent of glee with which she posts. When I saw this thread, I knew she'd pop up at some point. I don't believe her version of events.

Anyhow. My FIL had an affair and married his AP over 30 years ago. He's been having some major medical problems lately after living a mostly healthy life. When he started finally showing signs of age and having medical problems, his wife disappeared, including moving physically out of the house for most of the year. We arrange for his care and are the ones that show up when he has problems. He had a stroke and she didn't bother to even visit him in the hospital. We have to be really careful because she is still married to him and could cut off our access, but she makes no move to help him.

I was grousing about the situation to an eldercare nursing specialist and her response, "Oh, second wife? Yeah, those ones run away as soon as the health problems start." She said she sees it all the time. Sometimes the original wife ends up caring for the man after AP/wife disappears, even 30+ years after the affair and divorce.

I am pretty sure my dad's AP long time GF will ghost him when he get's too old (he's 70 now). We convinced dad to make sister his health care surrogate and me his power of attorney so we can direct his assets for medical expenses as he ages. Perhaps not surprisingly, he was totally fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a NP who remembers Georgia mom's story and what always gets me is the undercurrent of glee with which she posts. When I saw this thread, I knew she'd pop up at some point. I don't believe her version of events.

Anyhow. My FIL had an affair and married his AP over 30 years ago. He's been having some major medical problems lately after living a mostly healthy life. When he started finally showing signs of age and having medical problems, his wife disappeared, including moving physically out of the house for most of the year. We arrange for his care and are the ones that show up when he has problems. He had a stroke and she didn't bother to even visit him in the hospital. We have to be really careful because she is still married to him and could cut off our access, but she makes no move to help him.

I was grousing about the situation to an eldercare nursing specialist and her response, "Oh, second wife? Yeah, those ones run away as soon as the health problems start." She said she sees it all the time. Sometimes the original wife ends up caring for the man after AP/wife disappears, even 30+ years after the affair and divorce.

Wow. My mom is my dad's 2nd wife (wasn't an AP situation, just a second marriage), and while my mom didn't disappear when my dad started having health issues, she sure did everything she could to complain about him as much as possible and make it about her ever second she got. I'm sorry your dad has to go through that, I know my situation obviously isn't nearly as bad as this, but I know it's tough to watch someone treat your dad that way.

[Anonymous]

Whenever I read posts on here from second wives about how happy they are, I always wonder what will happen when their DH hits his first significant health problem or when he gets noticeably old.