If you had an affair with a married person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

Actually, I HAVE been in almost the exact same situation and I did not fool myself into thinking that any of it was “real.” Was his “kindness” real? Maybe, but probably he was trying to be as appealing as possible. Was his marriage bad? Maybe, but I’ll never know. My feelings for this person, which are real, don’t justify the harm we did to his wife, which is also real, even if she doesn’t know. We took away this person’s agency in her most important relationship. None of this kindred soul nonsense. Get some therapy.

I am fine thanks. I never cheating on a partner nor my ex husband. And his wife is not a nice person. She is actually abusive. How many many report wife abuse, even if it involves their children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

Actually, I HAVE been in almost the exact same situation and I did not fool myself into thinking that any of it was “real.” Was his “kindness” real? Maybe, but probably he was trying to be as appealing as possible. Was his marriage bad? Maybe, but I’ll never know. My feelings for this person, which are real, don’t justify the harm we did to his wife, which is also real, even if she doesn’t know. We took away this person’s agency in her most important relationship. None of this kindred soul nonsense. Get some therapy.

I am fine thanks. I never cheating on a partner nor my ex husband. And his wife is not a nice person. She is actually abusive. How many many report wife abuse, even if it involves their children?

OooOoo so his wife was abusive… then why didn’t he leave her and end up with you, his kindred soul?! You know you don’t have to report someone to the police to divorce them, right? The mental gymnastics… Cheating IS abuse and two wrongs don’t make a right. Also this may be news but even people who are less than perfect or “not nice” should be able to rely on their spouses being faithful. If the marriage has broken down, get divorced first.

Girl you are definitely not fine, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

Actually, I HAVE been in almost the exact same situation and I did not fool myself into thinking that any of it was “real.” Was his “kindness” real? Maybe, but probably he was trying to be as appealing as possible. Was his marriage bad? Maybe, but I’ll never know. My feelings for this person, which are real, don’t justify the harm we did to his wife, which is also real, even if she doesn’t know. We took away this person’s agency in her most important relationship. None of this kindred soul nonsense. Get some therapy.

I am fine thanks. I never cheating on a partner nor my ex husband. And his wife is not a nice person. She is actually abusive. How many many report wife abuse, even if it involves their children?

OooOoo so his wife was abusive… then why didn’t he leave her and end up with you, his kindred soul?! You know you don’t have to report someone to the police to divorce them, right? The mental gymnastics… Cheating IS abuse and two wrongs don’t make a right. Also this may be news but even people who are less than perfect or “not nice” should be able to rely on their spouses being faithful. If the marriage has broken down, get divorced first.

Girl you are definitely not fine, thanks.

Did I even say that I wanted him to leave his wife? No.

Right, so if you hit your kids, and you demean your partner/wife/husband, you should count on them to be there for you. Okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

Actually, I HAVE been in almost the exact same situation and I did not fool myself into thinking that any of it was “real.” Was his “kindness” real? Maybe, but probably he was trying to be as appealing as possible. Was his marriage bad? Maybe, but I’ll never know. My feelings for this person, which are real, don’t justify the harm we did to his wife, which is also real, even if she doesn’t know. We took away this person’s agency in her most important relationship. None of this kindred soul nonsense. Get some therapy.

I am fine thanks. I never cheating on a partner nor my ex husband. And his wife is not a nice person. She is actually abusive. How many many report wife abuse, even if it involves their children?

OooOoo so his wife was abusive… then why didn’t he leave her and end up with you, his kindred soul?! You know you don’t have to report someone to the police to divorce them, right? The mental gymnastics… Cheating IS abuse and two wrongs don’t make a right. Also this may be news but even people who are less than perfect or “not nice” should be able to rely on their spouses being faithful. If the marriage has broken down, get divorced first.

Girl you are definitely not fine, thanks.

Did I even say that I wanted him to leave his wife? No.

Right, so if you hit your kids, and you demean your partner/wife/husband, you should count on them to be there for you. Okay.

Who are you to get involved in someone else’s marriage? For all you know everything he said was a lie. And why be with someone for five years if you don’t want to be their actual partner and not just their mistress? You are twisting yourself into a pretzel to justify something that was plainly unethical and unkind. It is what it is. Just own it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

DP. If you were kindred souls and he cared about you so much, why did he not divorce to be with you? Asking seriously. You invested five years in each other. Why did it not end up with you together, if you truly were kindred, and you gave him "intimacy and affection" he never got at home? He was staying for the kids or finances? Why did you eventually break up if, again, you had five years invested and you were supposed soulmates?

This was what ultimately brought my long term affair to a closeZ after a decade of being appealing and understanding we spoke after a long hiatus and he said how much he loved me; I said, “if you loved me you would be here now.” Kicking off a very frank conversation in which he said that if we he had wasn’t love then he had never loved anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

Actually, I HAVE been in almost the exact same situation and I did not fool myself into thinking that any of it was “real.” Was his “kindness” real? Maybe, but probably he was trying to be as appealing as possible. Was his marriage bad? Maybe, but I’ll never know. My feelings for this person, which are real, don’t justify the harm we did to his wife, which is also real, even if she doesn’t know. We took away this person’s agency in her most important relationship. None of this kindred soul nonsense. Get some therapy.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

DP. If you were kindred souls and he cared about you so much, why did he not divorce to be with you? Asking seriously. You invested five years in each other. Why did it not end up with you together, if you truly were kindred, and you gave him "intimacy and affection" he never got at home? He was staying for the kids or finances? Why did you eventually break up if, again, you had five years invested and you were supposed soulmates?

This was what ultimately brought my long term affair to a closeZ after a decade of being appealing and understanding we spoke after a long hiatus and he said how much he loved me; I said, “if you loved me you would be here now.” Kicking off a very frank conversation in which he said that if we he had wasn’t love then he had never loved anyone.

Omg. Were you played. “What is love? Please don’t hurt me no more”. The same tried and true BS from the player’s hand book. He didn’t leave. He had zero intention of leaving and he lived in a fake fantasy world of escapism where he played you like a fiddle to get the external validation his narc self needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

DP. If you were kindred souls and he cared about you so much, why did he not divorce to be with you? Asking seriously. You invested five years in each other. Why did it not end up with you together, if you truly were kindred, and you gave him "intimacy and affection" he never got at home? He was staying for the kids or finances? Why did you eventually break up if, again, you had five years invested and you were supposed soulmates?

This was what ultimately brought my long term affair to a closeZ after a decade of being appealing and understanding we spoke after a long hiatus and he said how much he loved me; I said, “if you loved me you would be here now.” Kicking off a very frank conversation in which he said that if we he had wasn’t love then he had never loved anyone.

Omg. Were you played. “What is love? Please don’t hurt me no more”. The same tried and true BS from the player’s hand book. He didn’t leave. He had zero intention of leaving and he lived in a fake fantasy world of escapism where he played you like a fiddle to get the external validation his narc self needed.

He never had any intention of leaving and did not pretend otherwise. He just convinced me that life is imperfect and settling for scraps is sometimes the best we can do. While he had, and has, much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

DP. If you were kindred souls and he cared about you so much, why did he not divorce to be with you? Asking seriously. You invested five years in each other. Why did it not end up with you together, if you truly were kindred, and you gave him "intimacy and affection" he never got at home? He was staying for the kids or finances? Why did you eventually break up if, again, you had five years invested and you were supposed soulmates?

This was what ultimately brought my long term affair to a closeZ after a decade of being appealing and understanding we spoke after a long hiatus and he said how much he loved me; I said, “if you loved me you would be here now.” Kicking off a very frank conversation in which he said that if we he had wasn’t love then he had never loved anyone.

Omg. Were you played. “What is love? Please don’t hurt me no more”. The same tried and true BS from the player’s hand book. He didn’t leave. He had zero intention of leaving and he lived in a fake fantasy world of escapism where he played you like a fiddle to get the external validation his narc self needed.

He never had any intention of leaving and did not pretend otherwise. He just convinced me that life is imperfect and settling for scraps is sometimes the best we can do. While he had, and has, much more.

Wake the hell up and re-read your own post. You settled for scraps and he’s telling you that’s the best you can do.

He was having his cake and eating it too and getting off playing you and having you express your love for him.

Good lord. Go to therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

Actually, I HAVE been in almost the exact same situation and I did not fool myself into thinking that any of it was “real.” Was his “kindness” real? Maybe, but probably he was trying to be as appealing as possible. Was his marriage bad? Maybe, but I’ll never know. My feelings for this person, which are real, don’t justify the harm we did to his wife, which is also real, even if she doesn’t know. We took away this person’s agency in her most important relationship. None of this kindred soul nonsense. Get some therapy.

I am fine thanks. I never cheating on a partner nor my ex husband. And his wife is not a nice person. She is actually abusive. How many many report wife abuse, even if it involves their children?

OooOoo so his wife was abusive… then why didn’t he leave her and end up with you, his kindred soul?! You know you don’t have to report someone to the police to divorce them, right? The mental gymnastics… Cheating IS abuse and two wrongs don’t make a right. Also this may be news but even people who are less than perfect or “not nice” should be able to rely on their spouses being faithful. If the marriage has broken down, get divorced first.

Girl you are definitely not fine, thanks.

Did I even say that I wanted him to leave his wife? No.

Right, so if you hit your kids, and you demean your partner/wife/husband, you should count on them to be there for you. Okay.

DP, not the PP to whom you're responding, but: Regarding the bold: If you and he were "kindred spirits" and he was also being abused -- why would you NOT want him to leave his wife? His abuser, according to you? Even if he didn't leave to be with YOU, wouldn't you want him to leave his abuser so he could be happier and healthier with or without you, PP? You'd rather he stayed and endured the abuse, and didn't try to get his kids away from it? Do you see how your response above, alongside the claim that he was being abused, makes you look like you did not really have his best interest in mind? So much, then, for being each others' one true, kindred loves. You really are twisting yourself into knots trying to justify your years as an AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

DP. If you were kindred souls and he cared about you so much, why did he not divorce to be with you? Asking seriously. You invested five years in each other. Why did it not end up with you together, if you truly were kindred, and you gave him "intimacy and affection" he never got at home? He was staying for the kids or finances? Why did you eventually break up if, again, you had five years invested and you were supposed soulmates?

This was what ultimately brought my long term affair to a closeZ after a decade of being appealing and understanding we spoke after a long hiatus and he said how much he loved me; I said, “if you loved me you would be here now.” Kicking off a very frank conversation in which he said that if we he had wasn’t love then he had never loved anyone.

Omg. Were you played. “What is love? Please don’t hurt me no more”. The same tried and true BS from the player’s hand book. He didn’t leave. He had zero intention of leaving and he lived in a fake fantasy world of escapism where he played you like a fiddle to get the external validation his narc self needed.

He never had any intention of leaving and did not pretend otherwise. He just convinced me that life is imperfect and settling for scraps is sometimes the best we can do. While he had, and has, much more.

Wake the hell up and re-read your own post. You settled for scraps and he’s telling you that’s the best you can do.

He was having his cake and eating it too and getting off playing you and having you express your love for him.

Good lord. Go to therapy.

You are very aggressive. And you have poor reading comprehension. As already written, I woke up and it is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

DP. If you were kindred souls and he cared about you so much, why did he not divorce to be with you? Asking seriously. You invested five years in each other. Why did it not end up with you together, if you truly were kindred, and you gave him "intimacy and affection" he never got at home? He was staying for the kids or finances? Why did you eventually break up if, again, you had five years invested and you were supposed soulmates?

This was what ultimately brought my long term affair to a closeZ after a decade of being appealing and understanding we spoke after a long hiatus and he said how much he loved me; I said, “if you loved me you would be here now.” Kicking off a very frank conversation in which he said that if we he had wasn’t love then he had never loved anyone.

Omg. Were you played. “What is love? Please don’t hurt me no more”. The same tried and true BS from the player’s hand book. He didn’t leave. He had zero intention of leaving and he lived in a fake fantasy world of escapism where he played you like a fiddle to get the external validation his narc self needed.

He never had any intention of leaving and did not pretend otherwise. He just convinced me that life is imperfect and settling for scraps is sometimes the best we can do. While he had, and has, much more.

Wake the hell up and re-read your own post. You settled for scraps and he’s telling you that’s the best you can do.

He was having his cake and eating it too and getting off playing you and having you express your love for him.

Good lord. Go to therapy.

You are very aggressive. And you have poor reading comprehension. As already written, I woke up and it is over.

"He just convinced me that life is imperfect and settling for scraps is sometimes the best we can do. While he had, and has, much more."

This is very troubling". If you can't see how you were being used and he thought you just deserved scraps while he had his cake and ate it too, you really need therapy for your self-esteem. This guy was playing you. I hope you realize this now--and are no longer 'convinced' that is life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

DP. If you were kindred souls and he cared about you so much, why did he not divorce to be with you? Asking seriously. You invested five years in each other. Why did it not end up with you together, if you truly were kindred, and you gave him "intimacy and affection" he never got at home? He was staying for the kids or finances? Why did you eventually break up if, again, you had five years invested and you were supposed soulmates?

This was what ultimately brought my long term affair to a closeZ after a decade of being appealing and understanding we spoke after a long hiatus and he said how much he loved me; I said, “if you loved me you would be here now.” Kicking off a very frank conversation in which he said that if we he had wasn’t love then he had never loved anyone.

Omg. Were you played. “What is love? Please don’t hurt me no more”. The same tried and true BS from the player’s hand book. He didn’t leave. He had zero intention of leaving and he lived in a fake fantasy world of escapism where he played you like a fiddle to get the external validation his narc self needed.

He never had any intention of leaving and did not pretend otherwise. He just convinced me that life is imperfect and settling for scraps is sometimes the best we can do. While he had, and has, much more.

Wake the hell up and re-read your own post. You settled for scraps and he’s telling you that’s the best you can do.

He was having his cake and eating it too and getting off playing you and having you express your love for him.

Good lord. Go to therapy.

You are very aggressive. And you have poor reading comprehension. As already written, I woke up and it is over.

"He just convinced me that life is imperfect and settling for scraps is sometimes the best we can do. While he had, and has, much more."

This is very troubling". If you can't see how you were being used and he thought you just deserved scraps while he had his cake and ate it too, you really need therapy for your self-esteem. This guy was playing you. I hope you realize this now--and are no longer 'convinced' that is life.

NP here. I’ve never cheated or been cheated on as far as I know, but you sound really triggered and like you are the one who deeply needs therapy. I have no skin in this game so talking about cheating doesn’t really fire me up. But for you, it does, and it you need to seek help for why you’re so incensed by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an ex husband who cheated on me. He was mentally unwell, bipolar and we did not have sex for 5 years. He was either depressed or manic, and it was not attractive at all, not to mention crazy. I was trying my best to look after our baby/young daughter during those years. Same situation as the above poster.

After being separated for two years, i finally went online and met someone that pursued me. He was much younger, and I made fun of him for being a beefcake. His pic was of his six pack and it was so cheesy. I never wanted to meet up with him.

We became fast friends, and had so much in common. I trusted him enough to treat me well after not being sexual in a long time. Our one night stand lasted five years. He was married even though I met him online, thinking he was single. I don’t regret it. He is a kindred soul.

Gahh the rationalizing… kindred souls??? Girl. You learned all the wrong lessons from your bad experience. How sad.

Says someone who has never been in the same situation. He was kind, caring, and he brought my mojo back. He wanted intimacy and affection, which was missing in his marriage. And he was so f@cling hot. The last thing I wanted was a relationship.

For you married folks, there are a lot of married people online. And FYI, I never put in my profile: looking for a married person.

DP. If you were kindred souls and he cared about you so much, why did he not divorce to be with you? Asking seriously. You invested five years in each other. Why did it not end up with you together, if you truly were kindred, and you gave him "intimacy and affection" he never got at home? He was staying for the kids or finances? Why did you eventually break up if, again, you had five years invested and you were supposed soulmates?

This was what ultimately brought my long term affair to a closeZ after a decade of being appealing and understanding we spoke after a long hiatus and he said how much he loved me; I said, “if you loved me you would be here now.” Kicking off a very frank conversation in which he said that if we he had wasn’t love then he had never loved anyone.

Omg. Were you played. “What is love? Please don’t hurt me no more”. The same tried and true BS from the player’s hand book. He didn’t leave. He had zero intention of leaving and he lived in a fake fantasy world of escapism where he played you like a fiddle to get the external validation his narc self needed.

He never had any intention of leaving and did not pretend otherwise. He just convinced me that life is imperfect and settling for scraps is sometimes the best we can do. While he had, and has, much more.

Wake the hell up and re-read your own post. You settled for scraps and he’s telling you that’s the best you can do.

He was having his cake and eating it too and getting off playing you and having you express your love for him.

Good lord. Go to therapy.

You are very aggressive. And you have poor reading comprehension. As already written, I woke up and it is over.

"He just convinced me that life is imperfect and settling for scraps is sometimes the best we can do. While he had, and has, much more."

This is very troubling". If you can't see how you were being used and he thought you just deserved scraps while he had his cake and ate it too, you really need therapy for your self-esteem. This guy was playing you. I hope you realize this now--and are no longer 'convinced' that is life.

Are you dense? If I wrote it, I understand it. So strange that you think you understand more than I do from reading what *I* wrote.

[Anonymous]

Affairs are very much about getting scraps/breadcrumbs of love and I think pp understands that. that dynamic is why they happen- you don’t think you need or deserve better than someone’s scraps. For me I just thought I wanted something sexual and when I started feeling things for the person I went into a complete panic, because I wanted whatever they could give me and I knew it would end terribly.