What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women

Disagree. Women are seen as used goods especially those of us with kids and over 40. My ex had no problem getting a girlfriend after our divorce (good luck to her and the five minutes of fun XDH will offer).

Maybe you’re not attractive; and I’m not trying to be snarky, but I’m attractive and I have no shortage of men coming after me at 44 and my dating range is 31 to 51. My ex who is decent looking is 49 and does not have a girlfriend and we’ve been divorced for two years. He has said it’s much harder for him that it is for me.

Same, and I’m 47. I chose my date for tomorrow night from six offers. That’s pretty typical.

No, it’s not typical even for those of us who are attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to
2. They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby.
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family.

What is in bold is 100% correct.

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to
2. They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby.
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family.

What is in bold is 100% correct.

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.

What is this nonsense? First off, with 50/50 custody and assuming similar incomes for both partners (which is a good assumption in the case of a dud husband, who as we've established is not some high earner but often makes less than his wife while also not picking up slack at home), there may not even be child support much less additional expenses. But even if there are -- child support is for the kids. If you have kids, they are entitled to your money to cover their expenses. It has nothing to do with your ex-wife. The money is for your kids. Giving your kids money does not actually entitle you abdicate all other parenting duties and expect your ex-wife to do them for free.

But of course, PP is right it happens all the time because the ex-wife doesn't want the kids to suffer. Because she's the only one genuinely invested in them. Again, we're talking dud husbands here. They are bad fathers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women

Disagree. Women are seen as used goods especially those of us with kids and over 40. My ex had no problem getting a girlfriend after our divorce (good luck to her and the five minutes of fun XDH will offer).

Maybe you’re not attractive; and I’m not trying to be snarky, but I’m attractive and I have no shortage of men coming after me at 44 and my dating range is 31 to 51. My ex who is decent looking is 49 and does not have a girlfriend and we’ve been divorced for two years. He has said it’s much harder for him that it is for me.

Same, and I’m 47. I chose my date for tomorrow night from six offers. That’s pretty typical.

No, it’s not typical even for those of us who are attractive.

It’s summer. We’re coming out of a pandemic. Men are horny AF right now. They’re asking women out. I’m not saying they’re well-intentioned, but if you’re a woman on a dating app, you’re getting plenty of offers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women

Disagree. Women are seen as used goods especially those of us with kids and over 40. My ex had no problem getting a girlfriend after our divorce (good luck to her and the five minutes of fun XDH will offer).

Maybe you’re not attractive; and I’m not trying to be snarky, but I’m attractive and I have no shortage of men coming after me at 44 and my dating range is 31 to 51. My ex who is decent looking is 49 and does not have a girlfriend and we’ve been divorced for two years. He has said it’s much harder for him that it is for me.

Same, and I’m 47. I chose my date for tomorrow night from six offers. That’s pretty typical.

No, it’s not typical even for those of us who are attractive.

Yes, it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women

Disagree. Women are seen as used goods especially those of us with kids and over 40. My ex had no problem getting a girlfriend after our divorce (good luck to her and the five minutes of fun XDH will offer).

Maybe you’re not attractive; and I’m not trying to be snarky, but I’m attractive and I have no shortage of men coming after me at 44 and my dating range is 31 to 51. My ex who is decent looking is 49 and does not have a girlfriend and we’ve been divorced for two years. He has said it’s much harder for him that it is for me.

Sure, baby, sure.

Telling the truth. Youngest guy I have dated is 31 and the oldest guy I’ve dated is 51: I can date anybody in between. I don’t know what the hell you mean. I don’t have wrinkles and I usually look 10 years younger. Grandmother looks 20 years younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to
2. They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby.
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family.

What is in bold is 100% correct.

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.

What year you think it is? most women work and both income‘s count and newsflash I don’t get child support: were equal earners. And I’m going to earn him starting this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to
2. They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby.
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family.

What is in bold is 100% correct.

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a non-celebrity child support payment that actually amounted to the “bulk of the expenses” for the children which I would define as 66% or more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to
2. They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby.
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family.

What is in bold is 100% correct.

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a non-celebrity child support payment that actually amounted to the “bulk of the expenses” for the children which I would define as 66% or more.

It really varies. Some get nothing and some get large sums and a mix in between. But, if you have custody and get child support you should do it all as you choose that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to
2. They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby.
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family.

What is in bold is 100% correct.

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.

What year you think it is? most women work and both income‘s count and newsflash I don’t get child support: were equal earners. And I’m going to earn him starting this year.

And, usually one pays child support. If you earn more, you pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to
2. They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby.
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family.

What is in bold is 100% correct.

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a non-celebrity child support payment that actually amounted to the “bulk of the expenses” for the children which I would define as 66% or more.

It really varies. Some get nothing and some get large sums and a mix in between. But, if you have custody and get child support you should do it all as you choose that.

What? If you’re a parent you should do the work of childcare. You should not sign away 100% custody and you’re almost certainly not paying 100% of the kids’ expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to
2. They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby.
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family.

What is in bold is 100% correct.

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.

What is this nonsense? First off, with 50/50 custody and assuming similar incomes for both partners (which is a good assumption in the case of a dud husband, who as we've established is not some high earner but often makes less than his wife while also not picking up slack at home), there may not even be child support much less additional expenses. But even if there are -- child support is for the kids. If you have kids, they are entitled to your money to cover their expenses. It has nothing to do with your ex-wife. The money is for your kids. Giving your kids money does not actually entitle you abdicate all other parenting duties and expect your ex-wife to do them for free.

But of course, PP is right it happens all the time because the ex-wife doesn't want the kids to suffer. Because she's the only one genuinely invested in them. Again, we're talking dud husbands here. They are bad fathers!

Not everywhere gives shared custody still. Both parents need to share expenses not just dad and high amounts should have some accountability. Sometimes the moms are the duds and refuse to pay their share even out of the child support. My husbands ex refused to pay her half of braces so the kids went without. Her share would have cone out of child support since she did not work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to
2. They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby.
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family.

What is in bold is 100% correct.

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a non-celebrity child support payment that actually amounted to the “bulk of the expenses” for the children which I would define as 66% or more.

It really varies. Some get nothing and some get large sums and a mix in between. But, if you have custody and get child support you should do it all as you choose that.

What? If you’re a parent you should do the work of childcare. You should not sign away 100% custody and you’re almost certainly not paying 100% of the kids’ expenses.

Not all men have the money to fight for shared custody in court. If your ex does not work, yes you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to
2. They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby.
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family.

What is in bold is 100% correct.

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a non-celebrity child support payment that actually amounted to the “bulk of the expenses” for the children which I would define as 66% or more.

It really varies. Some get nothing and some get large sums and a mix in between. But, if you have custody and get child support you should do it all as you choose that.

What? If you’re a parent you should do the work of childcare. You should not sign away 100% custody and you’re almost certainly not paying 100% of the kids’ expenses.

Not all men have the money to fight for shared custody in court. If your ex does not work, yes you are.

I love this excuse. Women will beg borrow and steal to find resources to get time with their kids. Men say “wah wah I’m the victim.” Fact is courts give 50% custody as a default but dud dads don’t want it so they cry lawyer fees and a biased system. They don’t even realize they’re telling on themselves because anyone with experience in divorce court in this century knows men get half time if they want even when they show up pro se.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to
2. They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby.
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family.

What is in bold is 100% correct.

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.

What year you think it is? most women work and both income‘s count and newsflash I don’t get child support: were equal earners. And I’m going to earn him starting this year.

And, usually one pays child support. If you earn more, you pay.

And many people have equal or near equal incomes. it’s a waste of time to do child support order for $100 a month or less.