What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

NP and have not read the rest of the thread. This does not track in my experience. I think the divorced women I know in their 50s-70s are literally the happiest people I know.

It is true they have no interest in remarriage. The men do remarry quickly, but they aren’t happily remarried for the most part.

I’ve found this to also be true of most financially secure widowed women that age.

I think this is true of most financially secure divorced women as well. All my friends who are comfortable have zero interest in remarriage. It’s the women who are struggling that want it.

Can confirm that this is true for me: thanks to a family trust I am enjoying being single in my 40s after a divorce, taking lovers as I please, and never ever marrying again. It’s the friends who need to remarry for financial stability who are choking down all the duds in online dating. That isn’t for me.

Just an observation that if a man posts about “taking lovers as I please”, there are endless posts about disease and what an a$$hole he is. On the other hand, if a woman posts about “taking lovers as I please”, there is no reaction. Interesting lack of consistency.

One benefit to having divorced is far more frequent and varied sex, that is for certain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

NP and have not read the rest of the thread. This does not track in my experience. I think the divorced women I know in their 50s-70s are literally the happiest people I know.

It is true they have no interest in remarriage. The men do remarry quickly, but they aren’t happily remarried for the most part.

I’ve found this to also be true of most financially secure widowed women that age.

I think this is true of most financially secure divorced women as well. All my friends who are comfortable have zero interest in remarriage. It’s the women who are struggling that want it.

Can confirm that this is true for me: thanks to a family trust I am enjoying being single in my 40s after a divorce, taking lovers as I please, and never ever marrying again. It’s the friends who need to remarry for financial stability who are choking down all the duds in online dating. That isn’t for me.

Just an observation that if a man posts about “taking lovers as I please”, there are endless posts about disease and what an a$$hole he is. On the other hand, if a woman posts about “taking lovers as I please”, there is no reaction. Interesting lack of consistency.

One benefit to having divorced is far more frequent and varied sex, that is for certain.

Did you lower your standards after divorce? not being snarky; genuinely curious

[Anonymous]

No. I married young and relatively inexperienced in comparison to someone who might marry in their early 30s.

I’d (strongly) advise young adults in their early to mid 20s to wait before getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

NP and have not read the rest of the thread. This does not track in my experience. I think the divorced women I know in their 50s-70s are literally the happiest people I know.

It is true they have no interest in remarriage. The men do remarry quickly, but they aren’t happily remarried for the most part.

I’ve found this to also be true of most financially secure widowed women that age.

I think this is true of most financially secure divorced women as well. All my friends who are comfortable have zero interest in remarriage. It’s the women who are struggling that want it.

Can confirm that this is true for me: thanks to a family trust I am enjoying being single in my 40s after a divorce, taking lovers as I please, and never ever marrying again. It’s the friends who need to remarry for financial stability who are choking down all the duds in online dating. That isn’t for me.

Just an observation that if a man posts about “taking lovers as I please”, there are endless posts about disease and what an a$$hole he is. On the other hand, if a woman posts about “taking lovers as I please”, there is no reaction. Interesting lack of consistency.

One benefit to having divorced is far more frequent and varied sex, that is for certain.

Probably because I didn’t shamelessly trot out actual numbers or their actual ages- whereas men seem to enjoy bragging about quantity and age of their conquests. Lover also sounds respectful and mutual compared to the men bragging : “slept with 10 or 20 women 20 or so years younger” sounds pathetic and predatory.

But also, you gave my post like 20 min before declaring a double standard. People probably just hadn’t yet had time to slut shame me. Or, try. It will come. No one feels bad for men being called sluts when slut shaming of women is as old as time. Sorry, mate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

NP and have not read the rest of the thread. This does not track in my experience. I think the divorced women I know in their 50s-70s are literally the happiest people I know.

It is true they have no interest in remarriage. The men do remarry quickly, but they aren’t happily remarried for the most part.

I’ve found this to also be true of most financially secure widowed women that age.

I think this is true of most financially secure divorced women as well. All my friends who are comfortable have zero interest in remarriage. It’s the women who are struggling that want it.

Can confirm that this is true for me: thanks to a family trust I am enjoying being single in my 40s after a divorce, taking lovers as I please, and never ever marrying again. It’s the friends who need to remarry for financial stability who are choking down all the duds in online dating. That isn’t for me.

Just an observation that if a man posts about “taking lovers as I please”, there are endless posts about disease and what an a$$hole he is. On the other hand, if a woman posts about “taking lovers as I please”, there is no reaction. Interesting lack of consistency.

One benefit to having divorced is far more frequent and varied sex, that is for certain.

There's a reason for that. Women are entitled. They are entitled to endless sex, while keeping men in prison and stealing their resources.

Gosh prison would be cool. Instead we “keep” them firmly atop the patriarchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

NP and have not read the rest of the thread. This does not track in my experience. I think the divorced women I know in their 50s-70s are literally the happiest people I know.

It is true they have no interest in remarriage. The men do remarry quickly, but they aren’t happily remarried for the most part.

I’ve found this to also be true of most financially secure widowed women that age.

I think this is true of most financially secure divorced women as well. All my friends who are comfortable have zero interest in remarriage. It’s the women who are struggling that want it.

Can confirm that this is true for me: thanks to a family trust I am enjoying being single in my 40s after a divorce, taking lovers as I please, and never ever marrying again. It’s the friends who need to remarry for financial stability who are choking down all the duds in online dating. That isn’t for me.

Just an observation that if a man posts about “taking lovers as I please”, there are endless posts about disease and what an a$$hole he is. On the other hand, if a woman posts about “taking lovers as I please”, there is no reaction. Interesting lack of consistency.

One benefit to having divorced is far more frequent and varied sex, that is for certain.

Probably because I didn’t shamelessly trot out actual numbers or their actual ages- whereas men seem to enjoy bragging about quantity and age of their conquests. Lover also sounds respectful and mutual compared to the men bragging : “slept with 10 or 20 women 20 or so years younger” sounds pathetic and predatory.

But also, you gave my post like 20 min before declaring a double standard. People probably just hadn’t yet had time to slut shame me. Or, try. It will come. No one feels bad for men being called sluts when slut shaming of women is as old as time. Sorry, mate.

Seriously like women haven't been called whores and sluts before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women

Disagree. Women are seen as used goods especially those of us with kids and over 40. My ex had no problem getting a girlfriend after our divorce (good luck to her and the five minutes of fun XDH will offer).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women

As a divorced man I have to admit this is true. Dating is mostly online these days. And for every 10 likes I get, women will get like 200. And there are a lot of good single men out there for decent divorced women. But once a guy is 50 or so, it’s really tough to find women, exception is only with very rare rich and fit guys. It’s so much easier for women.

As a 39 year old divorced woman, I disagree that there are a lot of good single men out there. Maybe single men in their 30s who haven't been married. But divorced men in their 40s? Not a lot AT ALL.

Are not a lot of divorced men in their 40s but there are a lot of never married men in their 40s and never married men in their 30s. I haven’t looked at 50s. 44. I date men in their 30s. There are plenty. There are almost no men who are divorced in their 40s but that’s not my target audience even though that is who I am. If you are looking for the exact same demographic as you then yeah you’re not gonna find a lot of men but if you’re willing to date men who’s never been married and who are younger, you’re fine.

But don’t they still want marriage and kids? BTDT and not interested in more of either. That’s the hard part about 30s men.

Some men do but some men don’t. Yes it can be tricky; I did date somebody who is 39 who changed his mind. But some men really don’t want children and those are the ones I’m after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women

Disagree. Women are seen as used goods especially those of us with kids and over 40. My ex had no problem getting a girlfriend after our divorce (good luck to her and the five minutes of fun XDH will offer).

Maybe you’re not attractive; and I’m not trying to be snarky, but I’m attractive and I have no shortage of men coming after me at 44 and my dating range is 31 to 51. My ex who is decent looking is 49 and does not have a girlfriend and we’ve been divorced for two years. He has said it’s much harder for him that it is for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

OK- but what do you mean by that?

They date many different people?

They find a woman instantly who wants to take care of them and be a sugar momma?

They find the “love of their life” instantly?

What do you mean by easier rebound?

Men generally aren't the default full time parent and only have the kids every other weekend so more time to meet new people and doing adult things.

Men don't have the same social pressure/standards to be fit or always be on point with how they look. I see slobs with gorgeous wives all the time. No one says a word about the slob but if the wife has a off day, everyone comments.

Women seem to have pretty low standards when it comes to choosing a mate (generally speaking) so your dud will always be someone else's prize until they divorce as well.

Men don't care if the woman they are dating are good marriage or parenting material. Whereas Women will always consider her kids in choosing a second mate. This greatly slims down the offerings for women. A man doesn't care if there mate is terrible to his kids.

Women don't mind dating a single dad, but men often refuse to date women with children all together.

I don’t know who you know who’s divorced but this has not been my experience at all. I have two kids and no men care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.

Because she insists on doing it her way, and that’s the only way it can be done. Schedules camp : listen to yourself. Camp isn’t a requirement; if it doesn’t get scheduled life goes on. The mom may feel she looks bad compared to the other moms maybe.

who exactly takes care of kids in the summer while parents are working if there is no camp?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women

Disagree. Women are seen as used goods especially those of us with kids and over 40. My ex had no problem getting a girlfriend after our divorce (good luck to her and the five minutes of fun XDH will offer).

Maybe you’re not attractive; and I’m not trying to be snarky, but I’m attractive and I have no shortage of men coming after me at 44 and my dating range is 31 to 51. My ex who is decent looking is 49 and does not have a girlfriend and we’ve been divorced for two years. He has said it’s much harder for him that it is for me.

Sure, baby, sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's no shortage of women on this board complaining about their "dud" husbands - they're detached, emotionally unavailable, lazy, don't plan anything, irritable, etc. What are those guys like after the divorce? Do they change after the divorce? Do they find women who don't have those complaints? I'm curious how much of these alleged shortcomings are about the context - either a product of the guy's discontent with his wife, or the wife having unreasonable expectations - and how much is just that the guy isn't capable of maintaining a successful relationship, or whatever.

They’re duds on Tinder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women

Disagree. Women are seen as used goods especially those of us with kids and over 40. My ex had no problem getting a girlfriend after our divorce (good luck to her and the five minutes of fun XDH will offer).

Maybe you’re not attractive; and I’m not trying to be snarky, but I’m attractive and I have no shortage of men coming after me at 44 and my dating range is 31 to 51. My ex who is decent looking is 49 and does not have a girlfriend and we’ve been divorced for two years. He has said it’s much harder for him that it is for me.

Same, and I’m 47. I chose my date for tomorrow night from six offers. That’s pretty typical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children.

Don’t let your children know #2 though it probably oozes out of your pores and you don’t even realize it.