Reply to What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1. They wake up and learn how to be an adult because they have to[b]
2. [/b]They have a mom who swoops in and “helps” them with their 50% custody obligations
3. [b]They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning. [/b]
4. They marry someone younger who doesn’t know any better and she takes on the fun project of being a bonus mom, at least until she has her own baby. 
5. They marry someone their own age whose ex was even more of a bum and thinks they hit the jackpot. Bonus if she has her own kids and just takes on the mental load of managing a blended family. [/quote]

What is in bold is 100% correct. [/quote]

If dad is paying child support and the bulk of the expenses, yes she should be doing those things.  [/quote]

What is this nonsense? First off, with 50/50 custody and assuming similar incomes for both partners (which is a good assumption in the case of a dud husband, who as we've established is not some high earner but often makes less than his wife while also not picking up slack at home), there may not even be child support much less additional expenses. But even if there are -- child support is for the kids. If you have kids, they are entitled to your money to cover their expenses. It has nothing to do with your ex-wife. The money is for your kids. Giving your kids money does not actually entitle you abdicate all other parenting duties and expect your ex-wife to do them for free.

But of course, PP is right it happens all the time because the ex-wife doesn't want the kids to suffer. Because she's the only one genuinely invested in them. Again, we're talking dud husbands here. They are bad fathers![/quote]

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