"Fast" kids -- how do they get that way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

Same here. I'm European so sex at 15 is NBD. I had sex at 16 and was in a LT, loving relationship.

[Anonymous]

I think it is mostly personality and friend group. My parents had rules and were wonderful. I managed always to be home on time. I also managed to smoked pot, had boyfriends, drank alcohol, and had sex for the first time at age 17. Thankfully, I survived and I look back on it as a wonderful time in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

I'm European and this is why so many men here are married with frigid women and in sexless marriages. I had sex at 16, had 4 partners my entire life, always in loving, LTR and I've always LOVED sex. Safe sex at 15 with a loving, age appropriate partner is fine. It is not wrong or dirty.

[Anonymous]

Really sorry for these children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

I'm European and this is why so many men here are married with frigid women and in sexless marriages. I had sex at 16, had 4 partners my entire life, always in loving, LTR and I've always LOVED sex. Safe sex at 15 with a loving, age appropriate partner is fine. It is not wrong or dirty.

A lot of women have issues with sex because they had sex they didn't want to have way before they were ready.

[Anonymous]

I was a wild teen--drinking and drugs at 13, sex at 16. I'd chalk it up to a combination of trauma (emotionally abusive parenting and divorce) and lack of supervision. I thought I was super mature and sophisticated (and certainly I was self-sufficient because I had to be.) But now that I have teenagers I cringe to think about the risks I took. Neither of my kids has followed down the same path.

[Anonymous]

I was way too permissive as a parent. My son was popular from the day he entered kindergarten, I went thru a traumatic divorce when he was in 8th grade and hardly functioned when he was in 8th thru 10th grade. Our house was the hang out house. The combination of popularity plus permissiveness did not go well.

[Anonymous]

Crappy parents and/or trauma. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

I'm European and this is why so many men here are married with frigid women and in sexless marriages. I had sex at 16, had 4 partners my entire life, always in loving, LTR and I've always LOVED sex. Safe sex at 15 with a loving, age appropriate partner is fine. It is not wrong or dirty.

A lot of women have issues with sex because they had sex they didn't want to have way before they were ready.

How can this be possible when the relationship forum is all about men who can't have sex with their wives and this thread is all about people waiting until they are 22. IMO, if you are not interested in having sex before 22, you are pretty much asexual and comfortable going without it for years. USA is also at the bottom of the sexual satisfaction surveys. The puritan American view about sex breeds unhappy relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

I'm European and this is why so many men here are married with frigid women and in sexless marriages. I had sex at 16, had 4 partners my entire life, always in loving, LTR and I've always LOVED sex. Safe sex at 15 with a loving, age appropriate partner is fine. It is not wrong or dirty.

A lot of women have issues with sex because they had sex they didn't want to have way before they were ready.

How can this be possible when the relationship forum is all about men who can't have sex with their wives and this thread is all about people waiting until they are 22. IMO, if you are not interested in having sex before 22, you are pretty much asexual and comfortable going without it for years. USA is also at the bottom of the sexual satisfaction surveys. The puritan American view about sex breeds unhappy relationships.

Why are you assuming that the men who claim to be in sexless marriages are married to women here saying that they waited? You don't know who is posting what and where.

I did have an interest in sex prior to 22. I had sex at 19. That is not 15. I was already living on my own. I've gone years without sex. I'm not asexual. I'm also not American.

So many odd assumptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Crappy parents and/or trauma. Sorry.

Mostly trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Crappy parents and/or trauma. Sorry.

Yes. Lack of parenting for whatever reason and possible trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 year olds shouldn't be having sex. Full stop.

Problem is that 15 year olds tend to disagree

Most people I know started having sex in college or not long before. I have met some people who claim to have had sex in their early to mid teens or even earlier, but they all had less than healthy family lives.

+1

Sex is for adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

Is this for real? A 15 year old having sex with a same age peer she's been in a long term relationship with is very much the definition of age appropriate. Sure, we as parents would like them all to wait until 18, but did any of us wait that long by choice?

Uh, I was barely past the "boys are gross" phase at 15. I had my first crush at around 16. My first kiss at 18. Had sex at 22.
Do fifteen year old girls even orgasm?

WTF, "do they even orgasm". Would you say that about 15YO boys? No, because you'd probably assume they were masturbating.

There's not something that magically happens during puberty to enable orgasm. Even little kids touch their private parts because it feels good. I didn't have sex until college, but I figured out orgasm around 12. Just because you didn't doesn't mean it's physically impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

Is this for real? A 15 year old having sex with a same age peer she's been in a long term relationship with is very much the definition of age appropriate. Sure, we as parents would like them all to wait until 18, but did any of us wait that long by choice?

Uh, I was barely past the "boys are gross" phase at 15. I had my first crush at around 16. My first kiss at 18. Had sex at 22.
Do fifteen year old girls even orgasm?

WTF, "do they even orgasm". Would you say that about 15YO boys? No, because you'd probably assume they were masturbating.

There's not something that magically happens during puberty to enable orgasm. Even little kids touch their private parts because it feels good. I didn't have sex until college, but I figured out orgasm around 12. Just because you didn't doesn't mean it's physically impossible.

No I wouldn't say that about 15 year old boys, and not because of masturbation but simple physiology. Let's not be so woke that we pretend that the male and female orgasm are the same. The fact is that a sadly large percentage of adult women report not enjoying orgasm (for whatever reason--poor partners, not exploring their own bodies, etc), and women generally have easier and more pleasurable orgasms with time, often peaking in their forties. When so many adult women not having orgasms, it's not unreasonable to ask if children are.