"Fast" kids -- how do they get that way?

[Anonymous]

My parents were very very strict and I just ended up becoming a very good liar. I shoplifted, had sex at 14 and smoked pot (I didn’t actually drink much, didn’t like the taste). I would pretend to be at school at chess club but would be having sex with my boyfriend (who did have absentee parents) at his nearby house. I’d then go back and stand in front of school for my mom to pick me up. I got very good grades and didn’t skip school.

My parents did not communicate with me. It was you are not allowed out unless you are at school or activities. I snuck out. I was good at it.

I turned out ok in the end but yeah the super strict approach backfires. I also see the kids who are more follower types are easily led down bad paths by kids with stronger personalities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it has the most to do with outlying good looks.
The kids I know who are physically attractive outliers (i.e. they are just really beautiful or "hot") have always grown up early.

I have 3 kids of my own and live in the wealthy private school world. Each of my kids had a handful of friends or classmates who could have been called "fast" from their young teens. Among them were always the most physically attractive of the grade. With beauty (male and female) comes the strong potential for baggage.

This is true. My teen daughter is very beautiful but also a slut.

[Anonymous]

Nature. Some are born weaker, harder, stronger or softer than others. It's such a combo of so many things but you can't teach this kind of stuff. I'm such a nature v nurture believer and nobody will convince me otherwise. I am the poster child for dysfunction and nightmare life yet I married the calmest most secure man with a strong family. I have a health career and friends. I have a ton of faults and many regrets and secrets too. There's nothing perfect in this world. If you grow up fast or slow, your nature neverthess dictates the majority of your life so speed really doesn't factor at all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older siblings for one

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Permissive parenting, lack of supervision, and decline of moral values in society as a whole

Except that fewer teens drink, use drugs, and have sex today than in the past, so where's the moral decline?

[Anonymous]

Just a more up-to-date reference on when girls and boys first have sex:

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr196.pdf

page 17 is where to go.

This thread made me worry a lot, as I have an adopted daughter with trauma who is much more mature looking than her 12 years, who has strong EQ, who is fixated on when it is okay to first have sex! Thankfully, at least so far, she thinks vaping/weed/alcohol are bad ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Permissive parenting, lack of supervision, and decline of moral values in society as a whole

Except that fewer teens drink, use drugs, and have sex today than in the past, so where's the moral decline?

There’s no moral decline. I do think sex is more casual and a lot of them will say they haven’t had sex when they’ve given oral sex many times. I wouldn’t trust the numbers published

[Anonymous]

Older sibling and lack of supervising and maybe a lot of trusting from their parents or the parent perceive to be normal teen behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it has the most to do with outlying good looks.
The kids I know who are physically attractive outliers (i.e. they are just really beautiful or "hot") have always grown up early.

I have 3 kids of my own and live in the wealthy private school world. Each of my kids had a handful of friends or classmates who could have been called "fast" from their young teens. Among them were always the most physically attractive of the grade. With beauty (male and female) comes the strong potential for baggage.

This is true. My teen daughter is very beautiful but also a slut.

You are sick. Get help.