"Fast" kids -- how do they get that way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think that being mature means dating young and drinking? Because I don't.

I mean mature in their interests, dress, etc.

OP, I think you're talking around something, and it's making your post confusing.

Do you mean mature as in dressing like an urban 20 year old? Mature as in connecting better with adults? Mature as in wearing revealing clothing?

Are you asking why some kids are interested in romantic relationships (or just hooking up) early? Are you asking why some kids drink?

Can you describe a "fast" boy?

Geez, do you not know the meaning of "fast" in this sense? It is a socially and sexually precocious child--they abandon childish pursuits and "date", drink, and potentially drug, earlier than their peers. No one calls a child who cooks dinner for their family and chit chats comfortably with Grandma's friends "fast". That's just a responsible, mature child.

For the old people, a fast child is Drew Barrymore going to rehab at 13. It’s incredibly sad to see old grainy videos of her as a little girl getting drunk in clubs.

[Anonymous]

Personality. Born with it.
Plus parental oversight vs permissive parenting.

As with everything, it’s nature + nurture

[Anonymous]

Lazy parenting - unrestricted internet access, mature films, family dysfunction (overhearing things they shouldn’t know about). Allowing sleepovers (you drop all kids in the party to the lowest level of family supervision, since kids teach each other what they know). Also older siblings, particularly if they aren’t good kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Innate personality plus money,.in many cases.

If the kids are "popular" in middle school, those are usually the ones to watch out for.

Money is the often overlooked factor.

[Anonymous]

Older siblings and personality are the drivers. Parents play a role but it’s more limited than you think.

[Anonymous]

Lack of parental oversight.
Trying to fit in.
Sometimes they see older siblings (so they see it earlier).
Too much time on their hands. (Keep them busy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lack of parenting

Or helicopter parenting. The girls I knew who were going crazy with pot and sexual experimentation in middle and high school had helicopter parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of parenting

Or helicopter parenting. The girls I knew who were going crazy with pot and sexual experimentation in middle and high school had helicopter parents.

Or maybe their parents were “helicopters” because they knew their kids better than you do, and they knew the kids needed more supervision than yours.

[Anonymous]

Many were sexually abused. They don’t have the skill set to create healthy boundaries, and everything is specialized because if inappropriate exposure.

[Anonymous]

A child whose family doesn’t feel like home will seek attention elsewhere, at their detriment, in order to belong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Innate personality plus money,.in many cases.

If the kids are "popular" in middle school, those are usually the ones to watch out for.

Money is the often overlooked factor.

This. Having too much money around and given to kids leads to drugs and alcohol pretty quickly, which then lead to sex.

[Anonymous]

I have a boy who "dated" young, but that mostly meant he was officially coupled, but their "relationship" was limited to texts or saying hi at school. He's always been attractive and good at talking to girls and women. He smiles, listens, and is chivalrous like his dad, and I think it's unusual among kids their age. It's almost always the girls who ask him out. I don't see it leading to drugs, alcohol, or even sex. He and the girls he "dates" have involved parents and are super busy with sports, band, school, etc.

[Anonymous]

I have seen both ends of the spectrum. Extremely strict parents, and extremely lax parents.

[Anonymous]

A lot of them have older siblings— often much older. Sometimes they have a much older half sibling, meaning mom or dad had a kid already before they got together.

[Anonymous]

To piggyback off the above, a toxic combo seems to be dad makes a lot of money + dad’s second marriage to a younger wife + much older stepsibling.