Parents of boys who became incels

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

Well let me tell you what that looks like in real life because that’s what I did. Now he is caught between two worlds where he is not fitting in. The girls don’t want to play with a boy and the boys don’t think he is strong/fast enough to play with them and so he is left out on all sides.

What? Raising a feminist boy does not mean not good at sports. My god, the stupidity in this thread.

Actually it does in some cases so thanks for your insult. If you don't prioritize sports because you think that your kid will be perfectly fine being accepted for who they are, then you will have a rude awakening when they get shunned by athletic boys for not being sporty and most girl groups since they don't want a boy to be in the mix as they get older. Ask me how I know.

Yeah, mostly because of as***s like you raising other as***s to shun non-atheletic boys. That's what this whole thread is about. You are the problem.

WTF is your problem? My boy is not athletic and because we don't believe in strict gender roles we find ourselves in a position where his girlfriends are abandoning him for other girls and he is not athletic enough for the boys. Where did you get it mixed up? I hate this culture but it can't change as long as sensitive and more imaginative boys are shunned from both sides.

NP.

First, please calm down. Second, I for one understood you; I am sure I am not alone. I understand your child is in a tough spot here because he is being sidelined or marginalized by both genders. Not an easy place to be as a teen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

It is more complicated than that. I have to be sympathetic to their perceptions since THEY seem to be bearing the brunt of the mistakes and bad behavior of generations of men before them. My boys know and have been told about the inequities in history (not just towards women but other cultural groups and races). They know to stand up for people. But all they know is the life they are living and struggling through themselves.

For example, my oldest's college roommate (boys) worked for weeks on a presentation for a prestigious internship position. There were spots for 2 boys and 2 girls from their school. There were about 20 boys and 3 girls who applied. His roommate did not get it despite being very qualified (grades, ecs etc) but one of the girls who got it had actually ran out of the presentation room in tears due to nerves. This really upset my feminist-raised ds on behalf of his roommate. It isn't going to make them the next Joe Rogans or anything but it doesn't engender empathy.

It is easy to say raise them that way but they face so many other factors and situations outside of the home especially as they get older - peers, reality, internet, other adults and leaders, etc.

Weird example, as it’s just a numbers game here. This shouldn’t have anything to do with feminism or empathy—just, sometimes life’s not fair. You can’t always get what you want, and all that.

It feels like everyone is constantly looking for someone to blame for every single disappointment, rather than shrugging it off and looking for a different opportunity.

I see this example went over your head. In their minds the competition should be for 4 positions total without gender specifications. They know intellectually why there is such a thing but when they see how they are disadvantaged personally and in a specific way, it is not reality to think a 20yo guy would say "ok well I understand that since women my grandmother's age would not have had the same chances as men 60 years ago, then my classmate who is a girl should take this spot even though I performed better than she did." It doesn't help the girls either. And it makes men/boys more susceptible to victimhood thinking, deserved or not. Even as a 'feminist' who has raised awareness and non-entitled thinking in my boys growing up, I can see why they might feel this way.

If it was really 20 boys to 3 girls applying, then this must be a massively male-dominated field in which women have been passed over in favor of less qualified men for decades. The old boys club and all. Perhaps the way it made him feel will help him understand why they instituted gender specifications for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

It is more complicated than that. I have to be sympathetic to their perceptions since THEY seem to be bearing the brunt of the mistakes and bad behavior of generations of men before them. My boys know and have been told about the inequities in history (not just towards women but other cultural groups and races). They know to stand up for people. But all they know is the life they are living and struggling through themselves.

For example, my oldest's college roommate (boys) worked for weeks on a presentation for a prestigious internship position. There were spots for 2 boys and 2 girls from their school. There were about 20 boys and 3 girls who applied. His roommate did not get it despite being very qualified (grades, ecs etc) but one of the girls who got it had actually ran out of the presentation room in tears due to nerves. This really upset my feminist-raised ds on behalf of his roommate. It isn't going to make them the next Joe Rogans or anything but it doesn't engender empathy.

It is easy to say raise them that way but they face so many other factors and situations outside of the home especially as they get older - peers, reality, internet, other adults and leaders, etc.

Weird example, as it’s just a numbers game here. This shouldn’t have anything to do with feminism or empathy—just, sometimes life’s not fair. You can’t always get what you want, and all that.

It feels like everyone is constantly looking for someone to blame for every single disappointment, rather than shrugging it off and looking for a different opportunity.

I see this example went over your head. In their minds the competition should be for 4 positions total without gender specifications. They know intellectually why there is such a thing but when they see how they are disadvantaged personally and in a specific way, it is not reality to think a 20yo guy would say "ok well I understand that since women my grandmother's age would not have had the same chances as men 60 years ago, then my classmate who is a girl should take this spot even though I performed better than she did." It doesn't help the girls either. And it makes men/boys more susceptible to victimhood thinking, deserved or not. Even as a 'feminist' who has raised awareness and non-entitled thinking in my boys growing up, I can see why they might feel this way.

If it was really 20 boys to 3 girls applying, then this must be a massively male-dominated field in which women have been passed over in favor of less qualified men for decades. The old boys club and all. Perhaps the way it made him feel will help him understand why they instituted gender specifications for this.

Or, less girls are interested. I don’t think girls today are impacted by their grandmothers’ opportunities. They seem smart, motivated, and not intimidated. If they aren’t interested, they won’t apply. If they are interested, they will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

It is more complicated than that. I have to be sympathetic to their perceptions since THEY seem to be bearing the brunt of the mistakes and bad behavior of generations of men before them. My boys know and have been told about the inequities in history (not just towards women but other cultural groups and races). They know to stand up for people. But all they know is the life they are living and struggling through themselves.

For example, my oldest's college roommate (boys) worked for weeks on a presentation for a prestigious internship position. There were spots for 2 boys and 2 girls from their school. There were about 20 boys and 3 girls who applied. His roommate did not get it despite being very qualified (grades, ecs etc) but one of the girls who got it had actually ran out of the presentation room in tears due to nerves. This really upset my feminist-raised ds on behalf of his roommate. It isn't going to make them the next Joe Rogans or anything but it doesn't engender empathy.

It is easy to say raise them that way but they face so many other factors and situations outside of the home especially as they get older - peers, reality, internet, other adults and leaders, etc.

Weird example, as it’s just a numbers game here. This shouldn’t have anything to do with feminism or empathy—just, sometimes life’s not fair. You can’t always get what you want, and all that.

It feels like everyone is constantly looking for someone to blame for every single disappointment, rather than shrugging it off and looking for a different opportunity.

I see this example went over your head. In their minds the competition should be for 4 positions total without gender specifications. They know intellectually why there is such a thing but when they see how they are disadvantaged personally and in a specific way, it is not reality to think a 20yo guy would say "ok well I understand that since women my grandmother's age would not have had the same chances as men 60 years ago, then my classmate who is a girl should take this spot even though I performed better than she did." It doesn't help the girls either. And it makes men/boys more susceptible to victimhood thinking, deserved or not. Even as a 'feminist' who has raised awareness and non-entitled thinking in my boys growing up, I can see why they might feel this way.

If it was really 20 boys to 3 girls applying, then this must be a massively male-dominated field in which women have been passed over in favor of less qualified men for decades. The old boys club and all. Perhaps the way it made him feel will help him understand why they instituted gender specifications for this.

Or, less girls are interested. I don’t think girls today are impacted by their grandmothers’ opportunities. They seem smart, motivated, and not intimidated. If they aren’t interested, they won’t apply. If they are interested, they will.

Fewer girls. That’s a pretty huge imbalance these days when girls outnumber boys at most colleges. Any details to add, PP? What kind of internship was it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

It is more complicated than that. I have to be sympathetic to their perceptions since THEY seem to be bearing the brunt of the mistakes and bad behavior of generations of men before them. My boys know and have been told about the inequities in history (not just towards women but other cultural groups and races). They know to stand up for people. But all they know is the life they are living and struggling through themselves.

For example, my oldest's college roommate (boys) worked for weeks on a presentation for a prestigious internship position. There were spots for 2 boys and 2 girls from their school. There were about 20 boys and 3 girls who applied. His roommate did not get it despite being very qualified (grades, ecs etc) but one of the girls who got it had actually ran out of the presentation room in tears due to nerves. This really upset my feminist-raised ds on behalf of his roommate. It isn't going to make them the next Joe Rogans or anything but it doesn't engender empathy.

It is easy to say raise them that way but they face so many other factors and situations outside of the home especially as they get older - peers, reality, internet, other adults and leaders, etc.

Weird example, as it’s just a numbers game here. This shouldn’t have anything to do with feminism or empathy—just, sometimes life’s not fair. You can’t always get what you want, and all that.

It feels like everyone is constantly looking for someone to blame for every single disappointment, rather than shrugging it off and looking for a different opportunity.

I see this example went over your head. In their minds the competition should be for 4 positions total without gender specifications. They know intellectually why there is such a thing but when they see how they are disadvantaged personally and in a specific way, it is not reality to think a 20yo guy would say "ok well I understand that since women my grandmother's age would not have had the same chances as men 60 years ago, then my classmate who is a girl should take this spot even though I performed better than she did." It doesn't help the girls either. And it makes men/boys more susceptible to victimhood thinking, deserved or not. Even as a 'feminist' who has raised awareness and non-entitled thinking in my boys growing up, I can see why they might feel this way.

If it was really 20 boys to 3 girls applying, then this must be a massively male-dominated field in which women have been passed over in favor of less qualified men for decades. The old boys club and all. Perhaps the way it made him feel will help him understand why they instituted gender specifications for this.

Or, less girls are interested. I don’t think girls today are impacted by their grandmothers’ opportunities. They seem smart, motivated, and not intimidated. If they aren’t interested, they won’t apply. If they are interested, they will.

Just WOW. It's fewer girls not less.

I know we are going backwards in every way, but it's still amazing to see it unfold right in front of you. I'm sure you think black people weren't interested either. Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

It is more complicated than that. I have to be sympathetic to their perceptions since THEY seem to be bearing the brunt of the mistakes and bad behavior of generations of men before them. My boys know and have been told about the inequities in history (not just towards women but other cultural groups and races). They know to stand up for people. But all they know is the life they are living and struggling through themselves.

For example, my oldest's college roommate (boys) worked for weeks on a presentation for a prestigious internship position. There were spots for 2 boys and 2 girls from their school. There were about 20 boys and 3 girls who applied. His roommate did not get it despite being very qualified (grades, ecs etc) but one of the girls who got it had actually ran out of the presentation room in tears due to nerves. This really upset my feminist-raised ds on behalf of his roommate. It isn't going to make them the next Joe Rogans or anything but it doesn't engender empathy.

It is easy to say raise them that way but they face so many other factors and situations outside of the home especially as they get older - peers, reality, internet, other adults and leaders, etc.

Weird example, as it’s just a numbers game here. This shouldn’t have anything to do with feminism or empathy—just, sometimes life’s not fair. You can’t always get what you want, and all that.

It feels like everyone is constantly looking for someone to blame for every single disappointment, rather than shrugging it off and looking for a different opportunity.

I see this example went over your head. In their minds the competition should be for 4 positions total without gender specifications. They know intellectually why there is such a thing but when they see how they are disadvantaged personally and in a specific way, it is not reality to think a 20yo guy would say "ok well I understand that since women my grandmother's age would not have had the same chances as men 60 years ago, then my classmate who is a girl should take this spot even though I performed better than she did." It doesn't help the girls either. And it makes men/boys more susceptible to victimhood thinking, deserved or not. Even as a 'feminist' who has raised awareness and non-entitled thinking in my boys growing up, I can see why they might feel this way.

If it was really 20 boys to 3 girls applying, then this must be a massively male-dominated field in which women have been passed over in favor of less qualified men for decades. The old boys club and all. Perhaps the way it made him feel will help him understand why they instituted gender specifications for this.

I guess you did not read my original post about this. They know full well why the specifications were instituted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

This makes no sense. Seriously quite the opposite. YDY though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have time to read through 7 pages of comments so I’m not sure if anyone said this but I think making sure your son participates in sports helps a lot. They learn how to work with others, touch grass, stay in shape, and sports generally help with popularity.

This. And not just team sports, but individual ones also like boxing, martial arts, shooting, archery, etc.

Boys who grow up doing manly activities are much more balanced and better at being a grown man and husband.

Citation? Sounds like you’re just making s*** up. Give me a citation so I can ridicule your citation! Reeee!

You need a "citation" for reality? LMAO! Step out of the Matrix. Look around you. Facts are facts.

More than one poster thinks you’re full of shit. Your line of thinking that sports are end all be all produces kids who feel left out and become loners.

Try re-reading some things. You are confused and misinterpreted them, in your attempt to rage bait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have time to read through 7 pages of comments so I’m not sure if anyone said this but I think making sure your son participates in sports helps a lot. They learn how to work with others, touch grass, stay in shape, and sports generally help with popularity.

This. And not just team sports, but individual ones also like boxing, martial arts, shooting, archery, etc.

Boys who grow up doing manly activities are much more balanced and better at being a grown man and husband.

Citation? Sounds like you’re just making s*** up.

I've seen this kind of harpy at dinner parties. She inserts herself in conversations where she has nothing to add, and every time someone says something she doesn't like, she asks for a citation. It's berserk.

Lady, you are not on a dissertation committee. Your marginalia requesting citations is a category error.

🙄
I disagree with the premise and you can’t provide a single iota of proof of this. I think it’s actually sort of the opposite. Tate, Rogan etc all promote “manly” activities and are literally the leaders of the incels. Soo doesn’t seem to be accurate. And with no citation, it’s more of an opinion than a fact.

Those are not manly men by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe compared to really wimpy men they would be considered somewhat manly, but most every man I have known on a personal level would make those men look like Woody Allen.

That almost further makes the point. They aren’t manly men, but they promote doing the exact manly sports you/pp said create non-incel manly men.

So either doing mma and kickboxing creates manly men, as said initially, or doing mma and kickboxing creates manly men like Tate/rogan, or non-manly men in your opinion.

Which is it?

Or is it just made up (duh) and you don’t like being called on your sh** (also duh).

You are confused here. One does not the other make. That's where your thinking is off.
A male cannot be manly if he doesn't do or know manly things. But simply doing those things does not make them automatically manly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

Well let me tell you what that looks like in real life because that’s what I did. Now he is caught between two worlds where he is not fitting in. The girls don’t want to play with a boy and the boys don’t think he is strong/fast enough to play with them and so he is left out on all sides.

What? Raising a feminist boy does not mean not good at sports. My god, the stupidity in this thread.

Actually it does in some cases so thanks for your insult. If you don't prioritize sports because you think that your kid will be perfectly fine being accepted for who they are, then you will have a rude awakening when they get shunned by athletic boys for not being sporty and most girl groups since they don't want a boy to be in the mix as they get older. Ask me how I know.

Yeah, mostly because of as***s like you raising other as***s to shun non-atheletic boys. That's what this whole thread is about. You are the problem.

WTF is your problem? My boy is not athletic and because we don't believe in strict gender roles we find ourselves in a position where his girlfriends are abandoning him for other girls and he is not athletic enough for the boys. Where did you get it mixed up? I hate this culture but it can't change as long as sensitive and more imaginative boys are shunned from both sides.

NP.

First, please calm down. Second, I for one understood you; I am sure I am not alone. I understand your child is in a tough spot here because he is being sidelined or marginalized by both genders. Not an easy place to be as a teen!

Me calm down? Not the person who called me an assh*le who is raising another assh*le just for expressing the results of what happened after I spent the last 10 years raising an open minded and non-gendered boy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

It is more complicated than that. I have to be sympathetic to their perceptions since THEY seem to be bearing the brunt of the mistakes and bad behavior of generations of men before them. My boys know and have been told about the inequities in history (not just towards women but other cultural groups and races). They know to stand up for people. But all they know is the life they are living and struggling through themselves.

For example, my oldest's college roommate (boys) worked for weeks on a presentation for a prestigious internship position. There were spots for 2 boys and 2 girls from their school. There were about 20 boys and 3 girls who applied. His roommate did not get it despite being very qualified (grades, ecs etc) but one of the girls who got it had actually ran out of the presentation room in tears due to nerves. This really upset my feminist-raised ds on behalf of his roommate. It isn't going to make them the next Joe Rogans or anything but it doesn't engender empathy.

It is easy to say raise them that way but they face so many other factors and situations outside of the home especially as they get older - peers, reality, internet, other adults and leaders, etc.

Weird example, as it’s just a numbers game here. This shouldn’t have anything to do with feminism or empathy—just, sometimes life’s not fair. You can’t always get what you want, and all that.

It feels like everyone is constantly looking for someone to blame for every single disappointment, rather than shrugging it off and looking for a different opportunity.

I see this example went over your head. In their minds the competition should be for 4 positions total without gender specifications. They know intellectually why there is such a thing but when they see how they are disadvantaged personally and in a specific way, it is not reality to think a 20yo guy would say "ok well I understand that since women my grandmother's age would not have had the same chances as men 60 years ago, then my classmate who is a girl should take this spot even though I performed better than she did." It doesn't help the girls either. And it makes men/boys more susceptible to victimhood thinking, deserved or not. Even as a 'feminist' who has raised awareness and non-entitled thinking in my boys growing up, I can see why they might feel this way.

If it was really 20 boys to 3 girls applying, then this must be a massively male-dominated field in which women have been passed over in favor of less qualified men for decades. The old boys club and all. Perhaps the way it made him feel will help him understand why they instituted gender specifications for this.

Or, less girls are interested. I don’t think girls today are impacted by their grandmothers’ opportunities. They seem smart, motivated, and not intimidated. If they aren’t interested, they won’t apply. If they are interested, they will.

Just WOW. It's fewer girls not less.

I know we are going backwards in every way, but it's still amazing to see it unfold right in front of you. I'm sure you think black people weren't interested either. Right?

You’re projecting a lot of BS on complete strangers who most likely support equality and are on your side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

It is more complicated than that. I have to be sympathetic to their perceptions since THEY seem to be bearing the brunt of the mistakes and bad behavior of generations of men before them. My boys know and have been told about the inequities in history (not just towards women but other cultural groups and races). They know to stand up for people. But all they know is the life they are living and struggling through themselves.

For example, my oldest's college roommate (boys) worked for weeks on a presentation for a prestigious internship position. There were spots for 2 boys and 2 girls from their school. There were about 20 boys and 3 girls who applied. His roommate did not get it despite being very qualified (grades, ecs etc) but one of the girls who got it had actually ran out of the presentation room in tears due to nerves. This really upset my feminist-raised ds on behalf of his roommate. It isn't going to make them the next Joe Rogans or anything but it doesn't engender empathy.

It is easy to say raise them that way but they face so many other factors and situations outside of the home especially as they get older - peers, reality, internet, other adults and leaders, etc.

Weird example, as it’s just a numbers game here. This shouldn’t have anything to do with feminism or empathy—just, sometimes life’s not fair. You can’t always get what you want, and all that.

It feels like everyone is constantly looking for someone to blame for every single disappointment, rather than shrugging it off and looking for a different opportunity.

I see this example went over your head. In their minds the competition should be for 4 positions total without gender specifications. They know intellectually why there is such a thing but when they see how they are disadvantaged personally and in a specific way, it is not reality to think a 20yo guy would say "ok well I understand that since women my grandmother's age would not have had the same chances as men 60 years ago, then my classmate who is a girl should take this spot even though I performed better than she did." It doesn't help the girls either. And it makes men/boys more susceptible to victimhood thinking, deserved or not. Even as a 'feminist' who has raised awareness and non-entitled thinking in my boys growing up, I can see why they might feel this way.

If it was really 20 boys to 3 girls applying, then this must be a massively male-dominated field in which women have been passed over in favor of less qualified men for decades. The old boys club and all. Perhaps the way it made him feel will help him understand why they instituted gender specifications for this.

Or, less girls are interested. I don’t think girls today are impacted by their grandmothers’ opportunities. They seem smart, motivated, and not intimidated. If they aren’t interested, they won’t apply. If they are interested, they will.

Just WOW. It's fewer girls not less.

I know we are going backwards in every way, but it's still amazing to see it unfold right in front of you. I'm sure you think black people weren't interested either. Right?

How are we going backwards in every way? Aren’t girls out performing boys in high school and college? If the girls are interested, they’ll show interest. They aren’t afraid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

It is more complicated than that. I have to be sympathetic to their perceptions since THEY seem to be bearing the brunt of the mistakes and bad behavior of generations of men before them. My boys know and have been told about the inequities in history (not just towards women but other cultural groups and races). They know to stand up for people. But all they know is the life they are living and struggling through themselves.

For example, my oldest's college roommate (boys) worked for weeks on a presentation for a prestigious internship position. There were spots for 2 boys and 2 girls from their school. There were about 20 boys and 3 girls who applied. His roommate did not get it despite being very qualified (grades, ecs etc) but one of the girls who got it had actually ran out of the presentation room in tears due to nerves. This really upset my feminist-raised ds on behalf of his roommate. It isn't going to make them the next Joe Rogans or anything but it doesn't engender empathy.

It is easy to say raise them that way but they face so many other factors and situations outside of the home especially as they get older - peers, reality, internet, other adults and leaders, etc.

Is your son’s premise that the only criteria that should have been assessed was the presentation? So if it turns out the girl had m higher grades, betters ecs, better recommendations or what have you, she is still “less qualified”? Because it’s not clear from your example that she was, only that on the presentation (one aspect) she did less well.

Just cautioning you (and your son) about that logic. It’s much easier to be a victim than a gracious loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

It is more complicated than that. I have to be sympathetic to their perceptions since THEY seem to be bearing the brunt of the mistakes and bad behavior of generations of men before them. My boys know and have been told about the inequities in history (not just towards women but other cultural groups and races). They know to stand up for people. But all they know is the life they are living and struggling through themselves.

For example, my oldest's college roommate (boys) worked for weeks on a presentation for a prestigious internship position. There were spots for 2 boys and 2 girls from their school. There were about 20 boys and 3 girls who applied. His roommate did not get it despite being very qualified (grades, ecs etc) but one of the girls who got it had actually ran out of the presentation room in tears due to nerves. This really upset my feminist-raised ds on behalf of his roommate. It isn't going to make them the next Joe Rogans or anything but it doesn't engender empathy.

It is easy to say raise them that way but they face so many other factors and situations outside of the home especially as they get older - peers, reality, internet, other adults and leaders, etc.

It’s not just “generations before” though I realize those generations have a lot to answer for.

Steubensville was just over ten years ago. Brock Turner just under ten years ago. We have not solved the problem of teaching boys they are not entitled to girls’ and women’s bodies which is the incel problem in a nutshell.

[Anonymous]

Out of 340 million people, there are some bad apples. That does not mean that we “haven’t solved the problem of teaching boys” anything.

That’s absurd.