Why he won't leave his wife for his mistress

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ they also blatantly lie about the state of their marriage and how much sex they are really getting at home.. it’s the fake sob story to commiserate and get laid.

It's generally not a lie when a married man says his wife does not want sex. Why do you think most married men are constantly on the prowl? Like you said, they are not looking for conversation or relationship just sex. A husband who gets that (sex) with his wife has no reason to deal with other women expecting conversation or romantic gestures from him.

What makes you think that, in the history of woman-kind, a man's admission that "not even my wife will f-k me" is an effective panty-wetting line?

so many wrong statements here. BTW, these men are lying no matter what kind of mind gymnastic you are going on in your head. It's wrong.

Wait: you are seriously claiming that most married men are getting a normal/sufficient amount of sex at home (with wife)?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!
That loud whooshing sound was all your credibility leaving the forum.

[Anonymous]

Your wife does not want to have sex with you. Again, your wife does not want to have sex with you.

Your situation is not the same for many, many people that have many varying different reasons for infidelity.

You can only see things through your own experience which is not the same for all people that cheat.

You are bitterly angry at your wife and it comes out in your continuous posting about it in many different threads.

Frankly, based on how nasty you are in all of your posts I can’t blame your wife for not wanting your d@ck anywhere near her.

[Anonymous]

It is his behavior at home that most likely contributed to his wife crating an emotional barrier against him. Very common when a spouse turns away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^+100

A cheater I know said AP started using “love” and he would answer “me too”. He said he would say it to keep the arrangement going. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too, but never had deep level feelings for AP. He deeply loved his wife and kids and ended up losing them when wife found out. Lost an entire life and family for some middle-aged, close to menopause p@ssy and be admittedly says “not that great sex anyways.” Pathetic sad story and he is miserable now. Wife, btw, is thriving. He never thought he would get caught and I think he banked on his wife never leaving him. His wife was hilarious, attractive, successful and I know they had a wild sex life in their marriage, threesomes, etc pre-kids.

EVERYBODY had (... past tense... your verb) a good sex live pre-kids.... what is the point in even making that statement? And how is that relevant to the standard marriage trajectory where she lost interest so he found it elsewhere? Nothing said about this breakup. What are you talking about "losing his kids" are you saying he did not want the standard 50/50 custody that every father is granted? Their marriage ended back when his wife lost interest (before he sought an AP).He lost a room mate, not a wife. Good for him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ they also blatantly lie about the state of their marriage and how much sex they are really getting at home.. it’s the fake sob story to commiserate and get laid.

It's generally not a lie when a married man says his wife does not want sex. Why do you think most married men are constantly on the prowl? Like you said, they are not looking for conversation or relationship just sex. A husband who gets that (sex) with his wife has no reason to deal with other women expecting conversation or romantic gestures from him.

What makes you think that, in the history of woman-kind, a man's admission that "not even my wife will f-k me" is an effective panty-wetting line?

so many wrong statements here. BTW, these men are lying no matter what kind of mind gymnastic you are going on in your head. It's wrong.

Wait: you are seriously claiming that most married men are getting a normal/sufficient amount of sex at home (with wife)?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!
That loud whooshing sound was all your credibility leaving the forum.

HA HA HA. I said cheating is wrong period. HA HA HA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your wife does not want to have sex with you. Again, your wife does not want to have sex with you.

Your situation is not the same for many, many people that have many varying different reasons for infidelity.

You can only see things through your own experience which is not the same for all people that cheat.

You are bitterly angry at your wife and it comes out in your continuous posting about it in many different threads.

Frankly, based on how nasty you are in all of your posts I can’t blame your wife for not wanting your d@ck anywhere near her.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^+100

A cheater I know said AP started using “love” and he would answer “me too”. He said he would say it to keep the arrangement going. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too, but never had deep level feelings for AP. He deeply loved his wife and kids and ended up losing them when wife found out. Lost an entire life and family for some middle-aged, close to menopause p@ssy and be admittedly says “not that great sex anyways.” Pathetic sad story and he is miserable now. Wife, btw, is thriving. He never thought he would get caught and I think he banked on his wife never leaving him. His wife was hilarious, attractive, successful and I know they had a wild sex life in their marriage, threesomes, etc pre-kids.

EVERYBODY had (... past tense... your verb) a good sex live pre-kids.... what is the point in even making that statement? And how is that relevant to the standard marriage trajectory where she lost interest so he found it elsewhere? Nothing said about this breakup. What are you talking about "losing his kids" are you saying he did not want the standard 50/50 custody that every father is granted? Their marriage ended back when his wife lost interest (before he sought an AP).He lost a room mate, not a wife. Good for him!

Because you do everything to work on the marriage. People do not understand marriage. There are different phases. You don’t take the easy way out and run out and have affairs at the mid-way point. You get help. You go to therapy. You communicate. You build a plan to get back on track. Ask people that have been married a long, long time. Read Michelle Obama’s book about the severe trouble they had in their marriage after the kids were born—for years. They did intensive counseling and got back on track.

I was lucky. Driving home from my wedding dress fitting my mom and sister spoke about how there will be times in the marriage I will hate my spouse. I will not even want to look at him. That this is normal. It passes and you grow stronger together. My parents have been married 55 years and I never noticed these periods in their marriage, but my mom said they were there. They always seemed happy. You should not expect a fairy tale and not continually put time and effort into a long marriage. Or you can just live a single life of repetitive short affairs never experiencing true intimacy.

I remember being in a total infatuated love cloud when they were telling me this and looking to my bridesmaid in the back seat and thinking “wtf?!”. I also cavalierly thought “yeah. That won’t be us it will always be smooth sailing. I was 28”.

Here I am 50, 22 years of marriage and I know now what they mean. No marriage is all “up”, fun times 24/7. You weather the ups and downs together and what comes out of that is profound. Too many people either settled and married the wrong person or hit the first major obstacle and look for a way out or an affair.

[Anonymous]

^Truer words have never been spoken. People with good role models in childhood, products of healthy home environments and solid loving parents have a much easier time seeing and doing this.

People with dysfunctional childhoods, bad parenting, divorce, alcoholic or emotionally distant parents are incapable of seeing/doing this. This is why a person’s childhood is a big predictor of how they will behave in marriage and as a parent. 80% of men with a father that was a cheater continue the pattern. Studies aren’t there on women but I am sure it’s similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^+100

A cheater I know said AP started using “love” and he would answer “me too”. He said he would say it to keep the arrangement going. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too, but never had deep level feelings for AP. He deeply loved his wife and kids and ended up losing them when wife found out. Lost an entire life and family for some middle-aged, close to menopause p@ssy and be admittedly says “not that great sex anyways.” Pathetic sad story and he is miserable now. Wife, btw, is thriving. He never thought he would get caught and I think he banked on his wife never leaving him. His wife was hilarious, attractive, successful and I know they had a wild sex life in their marriage, threesomes, etc pre-kids.

EVERYBODY had (... past tense... your verb) a good sex live pre-kids.... what is the point in even making that statement? And how is that relevant to the standard marriage trajectory where she lost interest so he found it elsewhere? Nothing said about this breakup. What are you talking about "losing his kids" are you saying he did not want the standard 50/50 custody that every father is granted? Their marriage ended back when his wife lost interest (before he sought an AP).He lost a room mate, not a wife. Good for him!

Because you do everything to work on the marriage. People do not understand marriage. There are different phases. You don’t take the easy way out and run out and have affairs at the mid-way point. You get help. You go to therapy. You communicate. You build a plan to get back on track. Ask people that have been married a long, long time. Read Michelle Obama’s book about the severe trouble they had in their marriage after the kids were born—for years. They did intensive counseling and got back on track.

I was lucky. Driving home from my wedding dress fitting my mom and sister spoke about how there will be times in the marriage I will hate my spouse. I will not even want to look at him. That this is normal. It passes and you grow stronger together. My parents have been married 55 years and I never noticed these periods in their marriage, but my mom said they were there. They always seemed happy. You should not expect a fairy tale and not continually put time and effort into a long marriage. Or you can just live a single life of repetitive short affairs never experiencing true intimacy.

I remember being in a total infatuated love cloud when they were telling me this and looking to my bridesmaid in the back seat and thinking “wtf?!”. I also cavalierly thought “yeah. That won’t be us it will always be smooth sailing. I was 28”.

Here I am 50, 22 years of marriage and I know now what they mean. No marriage is all “up”, fun times 24/7. You weather the ups and downs together and what comes out of that is profound. Too many people either settled and married the wrong person or hit the first major obstacle and look for a way out or an affair.

I wish I'd had a lovecloud. Never had that. What a mistake. My husband is great and all that, but I can't even remember having that infatuation.

[Anonymous]

^ sorry. Ours lasted a long time. The passion was unbelievable. We have many letters from those days.

We had a great marriage for a long time. Kids and busy schedules came along and my dad (my true best friend) got terminal cancer and struggled severely for 3 years before dying it totally consumed me...

My partner went out and had an affair during this time.

Truly devastating. He had a horrific childhood like I describe above. He’s doing everything in his power—everything to change himself and fix things. The only thing we have going is a very long shared history and deep love prior to things going off the rails.

Not sure how this will end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^+100

A cheater I know said AP started using “love” and he would answer “me too”. He said he would say it to keep the arrangement going. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too, but never had deep level feelings for AP. He deeply loved his wife and kids and ended up losing them when wife found out. Lost an entire life and family for some middle-aged, close to menopause p@ssy and be admittedly says “not that great sex anyways.” Pathetic sad story and he is miserable now. Wife, btw, is thriving. He never thought he would get caught and I think he banked on his wife never leaving him. His wife was hilarious, attractive, successful and I know they had a wild sex life in their marriage, threesomes, etc pre-kids.

EVERYBODY had (... past tense... your verb) a good sex live pre-kids.... what is the point in even making that statement? And how is that relevant to the standard marriage trajectory where she lost interest so he found it elsewhere? Nothing said about this breakup. What are you talking about "losing his kids" are you saying he did not want the standard 50/50 custody that every father is granted? Their marriage ended back when his wife lost interest (before he sought an AP).He lost a room mate, not a wife. Good for him!

NOT EVERYBODY has a good sex life pre-kids. If kids happen, planned or unplanned, it just makes it worse. In those cases, they should have ended it before kids...but then with kids, they try to "stay for the kids"--people will do this for years and years and sometimes never divorce although it is a crappy marriage. I look that those cheating situations very differently than others. I know people hate it but it is not a black and white issue. No one has any idea what actually goes on in people' s marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your wife does not want to have sex with you. Again, your wife does not want to have sex with you.

Your situation is not the same for many, many people that have many varying different reasons for infidelity.

You can only see things through your own experience which is not the same for all people that cheat.

You are bitterly angry at your wife and it comes out in your continuous posting about it in many different threads.

Frankly, based on how nasty you are in all of your posts I can’t blame your wife for not wanting your d@ck anywhere near her.

Consider that YOU are the one who is disconnected from reality seeing things only through your own experience.
Maybe YOU still want sex with your husband, but try this experiment. Go actually talk to other married people. Men and women.
The men will all complain their wives NEVER want sex and the women will all complain that their husbands DO want sex.
This is the the reality. And this is why married men cheat. Go actually talk to married people and you will see for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^+100

A cheater I know said AP started using “love” and he would answer “me too”. He said he would say it to keep the arrangement going. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too, but never had deep level feelings for AP. He deeply loved his wife and kids and ended up losing them when wife found out. Lost an entire life and family for some middle-aged, close to menopause p@ssy and be admittedly says “not that great sex anyways.” Pathetic sad story and he is miserable now. Wife, btw, is thriving. He never thought he would get caught and I think he banked on his wife never leaving him. His wife was hilarious, attractive, successful and I know they had a wild sex life in their marriage, threesomes, etc pre-kids.

EVERYBODY had (... past tense... your verb) a good sex live pre-kids.... what is the point in even making that statement? And how is that relevant to the standard marriage trajectory where she lost interest so he found it elsewhere? Nothing said about this breakup. What are you talking about "losing his kids" are you saying he did not want the standard 50/50 custody that every father is granted? Their marriage ended back when his wife lost interest (before he sought an AP).He lost a room mate, not a wife. Good for him!

Because you do everything to work on the marriage. People do not understand marriage. There are different phases. You don’t take the easy way out and run out and have affairs at the mid-way point. You get help. You go to therapy. You communicate. You build a plan to get back on track. Ask people that have been married a long, long time. Read Michelle Obama’s book about the severe trouble they had in their marriage after the kids were born—for years. They did intensive counseling and got back on track.

I was lucky. Driving home from my wedding dress fitting my mom and sister spoke about how there will be times in the marriage I will hate my spouse. I will not even want to look at him. That this is normal. It passes and you grow stronger together. My parents have been married 55 years and I never noticed these periods in their marriage, but my mom said they were there. They always seemed happy. You should not expect a fairy tale and not continually put time and effort into a long marriage. Or you can just live a single life of repetitive short affairs never experiencing true intimacy.

I remember being in a total infatuated love cloud when they were telling me this and looking to my bridesmaid in the back seat and thinking “wtf?!”. I also cavalierly thought “yeah. That won’t be us it will always be smooth sailing. I was 28”.

Here I am 50, 22 years of marriage and I know now what they mean. No marriage is all “up”, fun times 24/7. You weather the ups and downs together and what comes out of that is profound. Too many people either settled and married the wrong person or hit the first major obstacle and look for a way out or an affair.

I was told all men are A. Holes.

Many years later that was accurate advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ sorry. Ours lasted a long time. The passion was unbelievable. We have many letters from those days.

We had a great marriage for a long time. Kids and busy schedules came along and my dad (my true best friend) got terminal cancer and struggled severely for 3 years before dying it totally consumed me...

My partner went out and had an affair during this time.

Truly devastating. He had a horrific childhood like I describe above. He’s doing everything in his power—everything to change himself and fix things. The only thing we have going is a very long shared history and deep love prior to things going off the rails.

Not sure how this will end.

You're pretty nice about it. Sorry about your dad, but that's when your partner is suppose to be there. And it wasn't even you having the cancer.

How would that translate into having an affair? Is it possible you happen to catch him that one time, but there were others?

Also, what happens when another life event occurs?? Sorry but I'd be done after stabbing me in the back while my dad was dying. That would cause true hatred.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ sorry. Ours lasted a long time. The passion was unbelievable. We have many letters from those days.

We had a great marriage for a long time. Kids and busy schedules came along and my dad (my true best friend) got terminal cancer and struggled severely for 3 years before dying it totally consumed me...

My partner went out and had an affair during this time.

Truly devastating. He had a horrific childhood like I describe above. He’s doing everything in his power—everything to change himself and fix things. The only thing we have going is a very long shared history and deep love prior to things going off the rails.

Not sure how this will end.

You're pretty nice about it. Sorry about your dad, but that's when your partner is suppose to be there. And it wasn't even you having the cancer.

How would that translate into having an affair? Is it possible you happen to catch him that one time, but there were others?

Also, what happens when another life event occurs?? Sorry but I'd be done after stabbing me in the back while my dad was dying. That would cause true hatred.

No. Exactly. When I was not emotionally there for him (like his mother his entire childhood) he went out to find it from somebody else.

Trust me I am addressing all of those issues. Everything has come out about what happened in the history of our marriage. First affair, but not first infidelity.

Private therapist confirms what I was told. AP story matched verbatim to what I was told.