Why he won't leave his wife for his mistress

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH divorced his wife. Our marriage is wonderful. His ex was a hose beast. Children were grown.

Were you f@cking him while he was married to her? If so, you are wrong.

If not, who cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sophomore year in college, my roommate's dad left her mother. Her brother attended the same University and I knew him very well too. They found out their dad had been having an affair.

They were 19 and 21 and I remember their anguish and hurt. I spent so much time with them during their family ordeal. Neither spoke to their dad for a long time after.

I remember them both saying it hurt almost more now at an older age because they felt their entire childhood had been a lie.

I carried that with me a long time.

These are two very strong people, btw. So the guy poo-poo kids as being babies about it is so messed up in the head.

80% of men that have a father that cheated on their mother eventually cheat on their own wives. Yet 2/3s of marriages are faithful. The majority of that is multi-generational infidelity due to childhood trauma. He says himself his father cheated.

The impact is multi-generational and because it isn't seen right away, it's easy to think there's no impact.

Correct. It tends to manifest in these kids in middle age.

Oh please.

Therapist here.

That’s a correct statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want equality as a woman, go get a job/career. Don’t try to get it by f@cking men outside of your marriage while you stay at home and perpetuate a 1950s mentality of the stay at home mother.

+100

The same women crying and whining about glass ceilings and being able to go out and screw indiscriminately like men...sitting at home while their husbands are off at work.

Real sister soldiers right there. Screwing other women's husbands. Solidarity together. #Metoo.

Let's do it for the children, our sons and daughters.

What a crock of shit.

I know, right? First to take down another woman and her family. Women are the worst to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sophomore year in college, my roommate's dad left her mother. Her brother attended the same University and I knew him very well too. They found out their dad had been having an affair.

They were 19 and 21 and I remember their anguish and hurt. I spent so much time with them during their family ordeal. Neither spoke to their dad for a long time after.

I remember them both saying it hurt almost more now at an older age because they felt their entire childhood had been a lie.

I carried that with me a long time.

These are two very strong people, btw. So the guy poo-poo kids as being babies about it is so messed up in the head.

80% of men that have a father that cheated on their mother eventually cheat on their own wives. Yet 2/3s of marriages are faithful. The majority of that is multi-generational infidelity due to childhood trauma. He says himself his father cheated.

The impact is multi-generational and because it isn't seen right away, it's easy to think there's no impact.

Correct. It tends to manifest in these kids in middle age.

Oh please.

Therapist here.

That’s a correct statement.

Stupid statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want equality as a woman, go get a job/career. Don’t try to get it by f@cking men outside of your marriage while you stay at home and perpetuate a 1950s mentality of the stay at home mother.

This.

Listen, I'm a DW and I have always worked during our marriage and continue to do so. I share in financial gains and burdens. I have also told my daughters that they need to be working and be financially independent all the time, but also that men need to contribute equally in home/kids matters. Hope men are ready to contribute in an equal manner and are ready to consider tradeoffs between career/home/kids. If you want wives to work, you will need to potentially de-prioritize your career vs. other commitments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sophomore year in college, my roommate's dad left her mother. Her brother attended the same University and I knew him very well too. They found out their dad had been having an affair.

They were 19 and 21 and I remember their anguish and hurt. I spent so much time with them during their family ordeal. Neither spoke to their dad for a long time after.

I remember them both saying it hurt almost more now at an older age because they felt their entire childhood had been a lie.

I carried that with me a long time.

These are two very strong people, btw. So the guy poo-poo kids as being babies about it is so messed up in the head.

80% of men that have a father that cheated on their mother eventually cheat on their own wives. Yet 2/3s of marriages are faithful. The majority of that is multi-generational infidelity due to childhood trauma. He says himself his father cheated.

If you knew anything about statistics, you would easily see those two statements couldn't possibly both be true. Otherwise within about 4 generations, the infidelity rate would be approaching 90%.

I get it though. For those who see cheating as an inexcusable evil that shall never reveal itself, they must comfort themselves in some bogus thoughts that as long as they choose the right partner, the chance of infidelity is remote. Like doing a rain dance, or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sophomore year in college, my roommate's dad left her mother. Her brother attended the same University and I knew him very well too. They found out their dad had been having an affair.

They were 19 and 21 and I remember their anguish and hurt. I spent so much time with them during their family ordeal. Neither spoke to their dad for a long time after.

I remember them both saying it hurt almost more now at an older age because they felt their entire childhood had been a lie.

I carried that with me a long time.

These are two very strong people, btw. So the guy poo-poo kids as being babies about it is so messed up in the head.

80% of men that have a father that cheated on their mother eventually cheat on their own wives. Yet 2/3s of marriages are faithful. The majority of that is multi-generational infidelity due to childhood trauma. He says himself his father cheated.

If you knew anything about statistics, you would easily see those two statements couldn't possibly both be true. Otherwise within about 4 generations, the infidelity rate would be approaching 90%.

I get it though. For those who see cheating as an inexcusable evil that shall never reveal itself, they must comfort themselves in some bogus thoughts that as long as they choose the right partner, the chance of infidelity is remote. Like doing a rain dance, or something.

Actually, can you explain the stat part? If in generation 1, 100 men had cheating fathers, 80% or 80 of them would cheat. In generation 2, 80 men had fathers who cheated and 80% or 64 would cheat. Why do you assume that we would get to 90% cheating rate over tiime?

[Anonymous]

Because she’s a dumb whore that doesn’t understand math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sophomore year in college, my roommate's dad left her mother. Her brother attended the same University and I knew him very well too. They found out their dad had been having an affair.

They were 19 and 21 and I remember their anguish and hurt. I spent so much time with them during their family ordeal. Neither spoke to their dad for a long time after.

I remember them both saying it hurt almost more now at an older age because they felt their entire childhood had been a lie.

I carried that with me a long time.

These are two very strong people, btw. So the guy poo-poo kids as being babies about it is so messed up in the head.

80% of men that have a father that cheated on their mother eventually cheat on their own wives. Yet 2/3s of marriages are faithful. The majority of that is multi-generational infidelity due to childhood trauma. He says himself his father cheated.

If you knew anything about statistics, you would easily see those two statements couldn't possibly both be true. Otherwise within about 4 generations, the infidelity rate would be approaching 90%.

I get it though. For those who see cheating as an inexcusable evil that shall never reveal itself, they must comfort themselves in some bogus thoughts that as long as they choose the right partner, the chance of infidelity is remote. Like doing a rain dance, or something.

Actually, can you explain the stat part? If in generation 1, 100 men had cheating fathers, 80% or 80 of them would cheat. In generation 2, 80 men had fathers who cheated and 80% or 64 would cheat. Why do you assume that we would get to 90% cheating rate over tiime?

First of all, 2/3rd of all marriages aren't faithful. Even if you took the extremely low number of only 25% people cheating, that's about half of marriages where both partners are faithful. If you believe it's closer to half, then about only 1 in 4 marriages are faithful (and yes I know there can be overlap)

If you assume 33% of men cheat, and 80% of their offspring will definitely cheat, than in the next generation, you have a guarantee that 80% of 1/3 are cheating (27% of all men) plus 1/3 of the other 2/3rds who don't come from a first generation of cheaters. This is about 17%, combined with the other subgroup you are now up to 44% of men who cheat. Now keep doing the math.

You would have to assume that 90% of men born to faithful fathers will also be faithful to keep the infidelity rate approximately static at only 1/3rd of men. And if you believe that, I have swamp land in Florida to sell you.

Not trying to condone or condemn cheating, it's a tale as old as time and will always be with us, no matter how much we shout EVIL into the void.

[Anonymous]

^ actually there’s a fallacy to your argument because you’re assuming children of cheaters are incremental to the 33% you assumed. That’s a false assumption since 33% is a combination of people whose parents had cheated and ones whose parents hadn’t cheated. So that 90% is a wrong assumption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ actually there’s a fallacy to your argument because you’re assuming children of cheaters are incremental to the 33% you assumed. That’s a false assumption since 33% is a combination of people whose parents had cheated and ones whose parents hadn’t cheated. So that 90% is a wrong assumption.

Not only is my math right, but my assumptions are too beneficial for you. It also assumes faithful men are spawning at the same rates as unfaithful men. Right? Because if unfaithful men had more children, then their spawn of the unfaithful would grow in bigger numbers, with higher rates on infidelity, than those spawn of loyal men. Which is theoretically untrue, considering these unfaithful men are by definition having sex with more women in higher numbers in greater marriages with second families.

A lot of people cheat. Some of those are sex addicts who will cheat on their spouses regardless of the marital sex life. Some are people who would otherwise be faithful but are sexually neglected. I don't have stats to separate the camps, but your theory that it's mostly passed down goes in flames when you see the above.

[Anonymous]

^ maybe I’ve it made it clear but the 1/3 assumption of cheaters includes a mix of cheaters whose parents had cheated and those whose parents had not. Therefore, that 80% number is already in the 1/3 number. That 1/3 seems to be steady state number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH divorced his wife. Our marriage is wonderful. His ex was a hose beast. Children were grown.

Your chance of becoming the hose beast is surely coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH divorced his wife. Our marriage is wonderful. His ex was a hose beast. Children were grown.

Your chance of becoming the hose beast is surely coming.

probably not. Now if it were the ex wife griping she'd be told to go to therapy and leave the husband with his new wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want equality as a woman, go get a job/career. Don’t try to get it by f@cking men outside of your marriage while you stay at home and perpetuate a 1950s mentality of the stay at home mother.

+100

The same women crying and whining about glass ceilings and being able to go out and screw indiscriminately like men...sitting at home while their husbands are off at work.

Real sister soldiers right there. Screwing other women's husbands. Solidarity together. #Metoo.

Let's do it for the children, our sons and daughters.

What a crock of shit.

I know, right? First to take down another woman and her family. Women are the worst to each other.

Women are super competitive with one another and don't care about the women they hurt with their words/actions. Ain't that right dcum women?