Why he won't leave his wife for his mistress

[Anonymous]

^ they also blatantly lie about the state of their marriage and how much sex they are really getting at home.. it’s the fake sob story to commiserate and get laid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For most men it’s merely physical/just sex and they will tell mistress anything to keep it going—lie, lie and more lies. Many tolerate her “talk” but do t really like her and could never see themselves marrying her. Particularly, with the ones started on online websites vs office affairs where they are intellectually on the same footing and begin an attraction for one another. Co-workers/colleagues have spent many hours, months, etc together vs Ashley Madison where it’s one meet up and then straight to sex. They get the milk for free.

Statistically for women, even those telling AP they just are doing it for sex, they get very emotionally attached as the affair progresses and become highly jealous of the wife. It’s more often a means for an unhappy wife to try and exit marriage with new partner in hand. Unfortunately for her, most men don’t want to give up their marriages. They just want their cake and wait to too.

Many studies done on this topic.

Spot on.

[Anonymous]

Test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ bitch. Think about his wife and kids. I’d cut you.

Not all women are the same. I understand why a married man would be a good option for some women.
I would not divorce over an affair. I told my DH that years ago. There is more to marriage than sex. Some people do not care. I would not. I also can see why being a mistress can keep a man in a marriage he would otherwise leave and in that case, the wife and kids should be thanking her for avoiding a divorce.

Not everyone views marriage as some black and white romantic fairytale. Also, blame the person going outside the family (which may be what they need to stay)...that is the person people should blame. Not the OW.

I agree with part of what you said. I'm more practical where my kids and finances comes first. A man isn't my everything at least not romantically. If my DH cheats it's not worth divorcing over some silly W. That being said she is equally a co-cheater and messed with my family. I would have no problem showing up at her work, or telling her family all about her. Once she came into my playground she invited me into hers.

Someone who is cheating is rarely *just* cheating, and it is not just about sex. They may be spending significant money on their affair, 'working late' and spending less time with your kids, having unprotected sex (risking your health and another baby), saying awful things about you, sleeping with a coworker and risking their job, and spinning a narrative in their own heads which justify the affair and also justify all other kinds of resentment and acting-out toward you. At a minimum, they are lying to you.

Exactly. One of my friends suddenly noticed her over 50 spouse acting critical of her. They had a good marriage (or so she thought) and other changes that prompted her to check on him. She put a gps on his car. Found out before and after work he was parking at random places for a hour or 2. Often it was a shopping center. I told her to locate his car and park far enough away he wouldn't see her. The AP dropped him off, and she followed the AP to her house and obtained the address, her name and everything about her.
She also erased the Textme app from his phone, and called the AP telling her if she contacted her spouse again there would be serious consequences. Never said anything to her spouse, and to date he hasn't cheated but her feelings toward him are completely over. Mind boggling because he lost a lot over a dud of a interloper. Actually I seen a few similar things with other friends and acquaintances over the years. Sad when the kids find out and want nothing to do with the cheating parent. It's definitely cheating on the entire family, not just the spouse.

I literally do not know why she went to so much trouble. Wouldn’t you just divorce him? Is such a guy worth it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ they also blatantly lie about the state of their marriage and how much sex they are really getting at home.. it’s the fake sob story to commiserate and get laid.

It's generally not a lie when a married man says his wife does not want sex. Why do you think most married men are constantly on the prowl? Like you said, they are not looking for conversation or relationship just sex. A husband who gets that (sex) with his wife has no reason to deal with other women expecting conversation or romantic gestures from him.

What makes you think that, in the history of woman-kind, a man's admission that "not even my wife will f-k me" is an effective panty-wetting line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For most men it’s merely physical/just sex and they will tell mistress anything to keep it going—lie, lie and more lies. Many tolerate her “talk” but do t really like her and could never see themselves marrying her. Particularly, with the ones started on online websites vs office affairs where they are intellectually on the same footing and begin an attraction for one another. Co-workers/colleagues have spent many hours, months, etc together vs Ashley Madison where it’s one meet up and then straight to sex. They get the milk for free.

Statistically for women, even those telling AP they just are doing it for sex, they get very emotionally attached as the affair progresses and become highly jealous of the wife. It’s more often a means for an unhappy wife to try and exit marriage with new partner in hand. Unfortunately for her, most men don’t want to give up their marriages. They just want their cake and wait to too.

Many studies done on this topic.

Spot on.

That was my exW.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Plenty of mistresses don’t care if he leaves his wife or not.

Agreed. They may have their own spouse they don't want to leave.

Or maybe they are divorced and never want to marry again. In that case, they are not jealous of the wife. They pity her.

They should go after SINGLE guys. If they aren’t married, why are they targeting married guys?? Wtf??

When I started cheating, I was sure that I would only hook up with married women. On dating sites, and not just AshleyMadison, I pursued the married women I eventually hooked up with. Meanwhile, about half the women I hooked up were single and they were more likely to pursue me. The ones I got with were pretty much on a break from serious dating and just looking for some NSF sex until the real thing came along again. I felt so used. LOL. But seriously, I really was.

I’m confused. You only wanted to hook up with married unavailable worn for sex and then were upset that you met available women for sex that used you like you we’re going to use the married women?!?!!!

Wtf!?!! Also, dude, seriously, her spouse may be packing heat. You want him coming after you?

Look up the Jennair and Mark Geradot case. The OW wouldn't leave them alone even after she confronted her, went to her employer etc. Her DH enjoyed having two women fight over him, even pretending to go to marital counseling but Jennair was a little smarter. Put gps on his car and phone. Finally shot the mistress dead in her own home. On social media most were sympathic toward Jennair, and lots of hate toward her DH and dead co-cheater. This was last year I believe.

Uh, Jennair was also insane and killed herself at the scene.

NP. How on earth would the OW know if the wife was insane or not? Still a risk.

Infidelity happens in an estimated 30%-70% of marriages, and stories like that are so rare that everyone knows about them. Cheating is a lousy idea for many reasons, but dying in an elaborate murder suicide is unlikely to be an outcome. A disease is far more likely.

No, a disease is more likely among those in the single dating pools. I can find married women all day who haven't had sex with anyone but their husbands in over a decade, and not even him in the last few years. They are pretty safest group of all.

That depends on what her DH has been up to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For most men it’s merely physical/just sex and they will tell mistress anything to keep it going—lie, lie and more lies. Many tolerate her “talk” but do t really like her and could never see themselves marrying her. Particularly, with the ones started on online websites vs office affairs where they are intellectually on the same footing and begin an attraction for one another. Co-workers/colleagues have spent many hours, months, etc together vs Ashley Madison where it’s one meet up and then straight to sex. They get the milk for free.

Statistically for women, even those telling AP they just are doing it for sex, they get very emotionally attached as the affair progresses and become highly jealous of the wife. It’s more often a means for an unhappy wife to try and exit marriage with new partner in hand. Unfortunately for her, most men don’t want to give up their marriages. They just want their cake and wait to too.

Many studies done on this topic.

Spot on.

That was my exW.

This is all my friends. They are all "men can do it so can I", "its just physical", "we are just using each other, tehee"

Then all of a sudden they are like...

I didn't mean to fall in love.

The worst is ... "he said he loved me"... really, and you believed him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ they also blatantly lie about the state of their marriage and how much sex they are really getting at home.. it’s the fake sob story to commiserate and get laid.

Sometimes its true, sometimes it's not. 20% of marriages of people in their 40s are sexless, and it climbs as people age. Considering most of the sexless folks are out looking for other partners, it's probably a fairly good percentage of people telling the truth.

[Anonymous]

^+100

A cheater I know said AP started using “love” and he would answer “me too”. He said he would say it to keep the arrangement going. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too, but never had deep level feelings for AP. He deeply loved his wife and kids and ended up losing them when wife found out. Lost an entire life and family for some middle-aged, close to menopause p@ssy and be admittedly says “not that great sex anyways.” Pathetic sad story and he is miserable now. Wife, btw, is thriving. He never thought he would get caught and I think he banked on his wife never leaving him. His wife was hilarious, attractive, successful and I know they had a wild sex life in their marriage, threesomes, etc pre-kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For most men it’s merely physical/just sex and they will tell mistress anything to keep it going—lie, lie and more lies. Many tolerate her “talk” but do t really like her and could never see themselves marrying her. Particularly, with the ones started on online websites vs office affairs where they are intellectually on the same footing and begin an attraction for one another. Co-workers/colleagues have spent many hours, months, etc together vs Ashley Madison where it’s one meet up and then straight to sex. They get the milk for free.

Statistically for women, even those telling AP they just are doing it for sex, they get very emotionally attached as the affair progresses and become highly jealous of the wife. It’s more often a means for an unhappy wife to try and exit marriage with new partner in hand. Unfortunately for her, most men don’t want to give up their marriages. They just want their cake and wait to too.

Many studies done on this topic.

Spot on.

That was my exW.

This is all my friends. They are all "men can do it so can I", "its just physical", "we are just using each other, tehee"

Then all of a sudden they are like...

I didn't mean to fall in love.

The worst is ... "he said he loved me"... really, and you believed him.

This. It’s pathetic they believe the words of a cheater that met on an online dating app. Something is wrong in their head. They should have spent those hours in therapy instead of the bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ bitch. Think about his wife and kids. I’d cut you.

Not all women are the same. I understand why a married man would be a good option for some women.
I would not divorce over an affair. I told my DH that years ago. There is more to marriage than sex. Some people do not care. I would not. I also can see why being a mistress can keep a man in a marriage he would otherwise leave and in that case, the wife and kids should be thanking her for avoiding a divorce.

Not everyone views marriage as some black and white romantic fairytale. Also, blame the person going outside the family (which may be what they need to stay)...that is the person people should blame. Not the OW.

I agree with part of what you said. I'm more practical where my kids and finances comes first. A man isn't my everything at least not romantically. If my DH cheats it's not worth divorcing over some silly W. That being said she is equally a co-cheater and messed with my family. I would have no problem showing up at her work, or telling her family all about her. Once she came into my playground she invited me into hers.

Someone who is cheating is rarely *just* cheating, and it is not just about sex. They may be spending significant money on their affair, 'working late' and spending less time with your kids, having unprotected sex (risking your health and another baby), saying awful things about you, sleeping with a coworker and risking their job, and spinning a narrative in their own heads which justify the affair and also justify all other kinds of resentment and acting-out toward you. At a minimum, they are lying to you.

Exactly. One of my friends suddenly noticed her over 50 spouse acting critical of her. They had a good marriage (or so she thought) and other changes that prompted her to check on him. She put a gps on his car. Found out before and after work he was parking at random places for a hour or 2. Often it was a shopping center. I told her to locate his car and park far enough away he wouldn't see her. The AP dropped him off, and she followed the AP to her house and obtained the address, her name and everything about her.
She also erased the Textme app from his phone, and called the AP telling her if she contacted her spouse again there would be serious consequences. Never said anything to her spouse, and to date he hasn't cheated but her feelings toward him are completely over. Mind boggling because he lost a lot over a dud of a interloper. Actually I seen a few similar things with other friends and acquaintances over the years. Sad when the kids find out and want nothing to do with the cheating parent. It's definitely cheating on the entire family, not just the spouse.

I literally do not know why she went to so much trouble. Wouldn’t you just divorce him? Is such a guy worth it?

I think when you're in your 30's or 40's you can easily start over. Late 50's and divorce can seriously destroy your retirement. I had another friend who divorced at age 49, and never recovered economically. It didn't work out with the boyfriend, and she wished she had stayed with the husband. Hard to judge. Everyone's situation is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For most men it’s merely physical/just sex and they will tell mistress anything to keep it going—lie, lie and more lies. Many tolerate her “talk” but do t really like her and could never see themselves marrying her. Particularly, with the ones started on online websites vs office affairs where they are intellectually on the same footing and begin an attraction for one another. Co-workers/colleagues have spent many hours, months, etc together vs Ashley Madison where it’s one meet up and then straight to sex. They get the milk for free.

Statistically for women, even those telling AP they just are doing it for sex, they get very emotionally attached as the affair progresses and become highly jealous of the wife. It’s more often a means for an unhappy wife to try and exit marriage with new partner in hand. Unfortunately for her, most men don’t want to give up their marriages. They just want their cake and wait to too.

Many studies done on this topic.

Those men are no good hypocrites. True in most cases they don't want such a woman, except for sex. They won't ever respect or trust them even though they are garbage themselves.

Most wives know if their husbands cheat, and check out of the relationship. A lot of women realize their kids, friends, pets and finances are what it's about. Not some messed spouse they got saddled with. Once the guy cheats the marriage is long over.

[Anonymous]

My friend is on bumble and she let me look through her account the married men use the term "ethical non monogamy" which I think is supposed to mean they are open about being married. Not sure if their wives are aware though.

Actually, ethical non monogamy explicitly means that the wife knows. The emphasis is on ethical. It's not my jam, but my experience is that the folks who openly identify as ENM are going to be completely transparent with all partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ they also blatantly lie about the state of their marriage and how much sex they are really getting at home.. it’s the fake sob story to commiserate and get laid.

It's generally not a lie when a married man says his wife does not want sex. Why do you think most married men are constantly on the prowl? Like you said, they are not looking for conversation or relationship just sex. A husband who gets that (sex) with his wife has no reason to deal with other women expecting conversation or romantic gestures from him.

What makes you think that, in the history of woman-kind, a man's admission that "not even my wife will f-k me" is an effective panty-wetting line?

so many wrong statements here. BTW, these men are lying no matter what kind of mind gymnastic you are going on in your head. It's wrong.