Why he won't leave his wife for his mistress

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think plenty of people marry the wrong people or marry for the wrong reasons and it catches up with them. And then they're 50. And they have a slew of short-term affairs to feel better about themselves or they actually meet someone they have a long-term affair with who they may even love. And if they want to really be with that person they have to get out of their marriage which is a nasty solution for most.

People won’t want to believe this, but I think that you are right.

[Anonymous]

I divorced my wife to marry my mistress a decade ago and have never been happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I divorced my wife to marry my mistress a decade ago and have never been happier.

Also I can't believe I used that language. I don't think anyone under 50 calls it a "mistress." I always called her my girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a really bad argument especially right now. The current President of the United States and the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom both married their mistresses.

If the Queen dies in the next year, the current King of Great Britain will be added to that list.

Good point. I have always said people really don't care about affairs. I mean, sure the betrayed spouse does, but in general affairs are somewhere between tolerated and fully accepted now. See your point above, a man can walk out on his family, marry younger and the population shrugs.

And note these men are the champions of the religious right.

I agree with this. No one really cares. It isn’t even particularly shocking when it happens. In most cases of people having affairs that then leave their spouses to be with that person, I wonder why it took them both so long.

FWIW - in most cases of affairs that I know of, both people are married. The more powerful man/secretary scenario is less common than it used to be

Nott sure this is the case everywhere. Polls indicate people still don’t like cheating. Not sure your opinion is a universal opinion on cheating.

It is more commonly accepted in Europe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know half a dozen 2nd marriages (long-term, 20+ years) that began as an affair. For some, they just did not meet the right person the first time around.

Me too. Most wish they stayed with their 1st wife but it wasn’t an option and being alone sucks and dating sucks more so they took the consolation prize and made the best of it.

My MIL lives in an over 55 community and when the H gets sick the kids are usually like ... he’s all yours. When the wife needs help the kids don’t normally want to be around her so they will sometimes let her drop him off for a weekend for a break but the 2nd wife often bears the brunt of the nursing duties.

For the 2nd “wives”... many don’t marry because of social security and pension laws. They often “break up” as soon as he gets ill leaving kids stuck with a sick dad that never was there for them. Kids are like you made your bed.... he is often left abandoned to fend for himself.

Women otoh ... build relationships and have help from friends/churches/etc when they get sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of mistresses don’t care if he leaves his wife or not.

Exactly. It's not just men who are in affairs for sex. I've had sex with over 15 married women (and I've known so many more) and none of them were looking to leave their husbands. Of the 10 or so whose lives I still know, only one has divorced and she isn't with any of her APs but a guy she met since her divorce.

Christ -talk about an HPV receptacle.

Long lasting and don’t even routinely screen for it STD/STI tests. Men can’t be tested for it.

As a microbiologist, Id like to warn you that antibiotic resistant Chlamydia and Gonorrhea.

That's always the theme here whenever someone mentions having sex outside of marragie. OMG, all those diseases! You are a riot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of mistresses don’t care if he leaves his wife or not.

Exactly. It's not just men who are in affairs for sex. I've had sex with over 15 married women (and I've known so many more) and none of them were looking to leave their husbands. Of the 10 or so whose lives I still know, only one has divorced and she isn't with any of her APs but a guy she met since her divorce.

Christ -talk about an HPV receptacle.

Long lasting and don’t even routinely screen for it STD/STI tests. Men can’t be tested for it.

As a microbiologist, Id like to warn you that antibiotic resistant Chlamydia and Gonorrhea.

That's always the theme here whenever someone mentions having sex outside of marragie. OMG, all those diseases! You are a riot.

My MIL works for an OBGYN and many women test positive for a disease from being cheated on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think plenty of people marry the wrong people or marry for the wrong reasons and it catches up with them. And then they're 50. And they have a slew of short-term affairs to feel better about themselves or they actually meet someone they have a long-term affair with who they may even love. And if they want to really be with that person they have to get out of their marriage which is a nasty solution for most.

People won’t want to believe this, but I think that you are right.

+1

[Anonymous]

My husband is not a terrible person. He is, though, pretty abrupt and snide socially. This runs people in our community the wrong way, and people often make sideways comments about how the two of us could be married. Basically implying that I’m too good for him. That, though, isn’t the case. It’s more that he puts his worst foot forward and (I think due to insecurity and not being socially skilled) he insults and turns off people more than he realized. And I’m more of a socially attuned, including being good at smoothing social situations. In our marriage, he’s nicer than people might think, and I am harsher. Nit that he’s particularly nice or I’m harsh, we’re both just less extreme than we’d seem to outsiders. For other reasons, I do predict that we will get divorced eventually. When we do, it actually makes me sad to think that some people will be glad to see him suffer. I honestly believe some in our community would be happy to learn if I cheated on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think plenty of people marry the wrong people or marry for the wrong reasons and it catches up with them. And then they're 50. And they have a slew of short-term affairs to feel better about themselves or they actually meet someone they have a long-term affair with who they may even love. And if they want to really be with that person they have to get out of their marriage which is a nasty solution for most.

People won’t want to believe this, but I think that you are right.

I don't think the age criteria is right though.

The amount of people already on their second marriages in the US to me is astounding.

But I guess if you're married at 23 or 24...by 35 you'll have had a decade to realize the first one wasn't working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a really bad argument especially right now. The current President of the United States and the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom both married their mistresses.

If the Queen dies in the next year, the current King of Great Britain will be added to that list.

Marla was the mistress who trapped Trump by getting pregnant and publically forcing the issue. Since Ivana did not have a prenup she did not lose out financially. Infact, Tiffany was a bastard child who was born to unwed parents. Donald probably wanted to hedge his bet. Donald disliked Marla and the unwanted kid and finally had no issues in getting rid of her before 2 years were over. Marla Maple was paid 1 million in alimony. If Marla had not happened, Donald would not have married Melania even if he had slept with her and cheated on Ivana. And he has always gone for all types of sex workers and in fact slept with Stormi when Melania was pregnant, so Melania was not something speacial. Melania got lucky because Donald holds a grudge and wanted to discard Marla for trapping him. Without Marla, Melania was another B-grade older escort/model type of woman whose pu$$y he grabbed. But no need to feel bad for Melania. She is in a better positon than the rest of America for having this POS as the POTUS.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a really bad argument especially right now. The current President of the United States and the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom both married their mistresses.

If the Queen dies in the next year, the current King of Great Britain will be added to that list.

Marla was the mistress who trapped Trump by getting pregnant and publically forcing the issue. Since Ivana did not have a prenup she did not lose out financially. Infact, Tiffany was a bastard child who was born to unwed parents. Donald probably wanted to hedge his bet. Donald disliked Marla and the unwanted kid and finally had no issues in getting rid of her before 2 years were over. Marla Maple was paid 1 million in alimony. If Marla had not happened, Donald would not have married Melania even if he had slept with her and cheated on Ivana. And he has always gone for all types of sex workers and in fact slept with Stormi when Melania was pregnant, so Melania was not something speacial. Melania got lucky because Donald holds a grudge and wanted to discard Marla for trapping him. Without Marla, Melania was another B-grade older escort/model type of woman whose pu$$y he grabbed. But no need to feel bad for Melania. She is in a better positon than the rest of America for having this POS as the POTUS.

Yup.

That is a word vomit. You should have written it out as 1st - 4th wife and mistress #2, #3 etc. Can't make heads or tails of it without a flowchart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of mistresses don’t care if he leaves his wife or not.

Exactly. It's not just men who are in affairs for sex. I've had sex with over 15 married women (and I've known so many more) and none of them were looking to leave their husbands. Of the 10 or so whose lives I still know, only one has divorced and she isn't with any of her APs but a guy she met since her divorce.

Christ -talk about an HPV receptacle.

Long lasting and don’t even routinely screen for it STD/STI tests. Men can’t be tested for it.

As a microbiologist, Id like to warn you that antibiotic resistant Chlamydia and Gonorrhea.

That's always the theme here whenever someone mentions having sex outside of marragie. OMG, all those diseases! You are a riot.

My MIL works for an OBGYN and many women test positive for a disease from being cheated on.

It’s very common and so mortifying for the unsuspecting wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think plenty of people marry the wrong people or marry for the wrong reasons and it catches up with them. And then they're 50. And they have a slew of short-term affairs to feel better about themselves or they actually meet someone they have a long-term affair with who they may even love. And if they want to really be with that person they have to get out of their marriage which is a nasty solution for most.

People won’t want to believe this, but I think that you are right.

I don't think the age criteria is right though.

The amount of people already on their second marriages in the US to me is astounding.

But I guess if you're married at 23 or 24...by 35 you'll have had a decade to realize the first one wasn't working.

If you marry what we’d consider in major metropolitan areas very young, like 22, for example, chances are you are not going to be the same person with the same needs, same dreams, same tolerance for BS, in 20 years. That’s bound to cause inner turmoil. If you become someone your spouse is no longer into, them what? Find someone who like the new version of you.

I think after a variety of experiences there is bound to be change. For many in long term mediocre marriages inertia-and the fear of being poor-takes over. Affairs are one way to get through it, though what’s the saying, men have affairs to stay married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a really bad argument especially right now. The current President of the United States and the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom both married their mistresses.

If the Queen dies in the next year, the current King of Great Britain will be added to that list.

I have wondered whether Charles would have still left Diana if she had been accommodating of the arrangement.