Life with AP after divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also have you gone through a custody fight? Again ask the courts why she has 50-50 custody.

Because courts have determined that is what's best for the child. Pretty much all divorcing parents get 50/50 now unless one is PROVEN to be unfit. Anyone can make a CPS call. Clearly it was unfounded if she retains custody.

The more you try to paint this woman as a lunatic for having the temerity to be married to your boyfriend first, the more imbalanced you sound. And I do not automatically hate all OW, I can often see how these things happen to good people. But you just sound whackadoodle. None of this is even your business since he's still married and won't even leave his dog alone long enough to come to your house and see you. You don't know his kid. You are operating in a very very small sliver of his life.

Lol. Do you have a dog that has to be let out every few hours?
If I told you he came here but only a few hours at a time You would find fault with that. Oh he doesn't love you enough to spend the night with you. Cps is still investigating. Where did I say she was a lunatic for marrying him first? However she became my business when she contacted my rapist to get information about me and had her friends stalk me. I stopped sering him for several months. While she was looking for men on adult friend finder
Did you read the part where I stopped seeing him and joined match and she interfered with that too? But I'm imbalanced. Ok.

I'm really not invested in this hullabaloo enough to continue going back and forth with you. Enjoy the dramafest you've chosen to devote your life to.

And yet you keep responding.
I've devoted my life to it? Weren't you all just saying I only get a sliver of his life? Make up your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also have you gone through a custody fight? Again ask the courts why she has 50-50 custody.

Because courts have determined that is what's best for the child. Pretty much all divorcing parents get 50/50 now unless one is PROVEN to be unfit. Anyone can make a CPS call. Clearly it was unfounded if she retains custody.

The more you try to paint this woman as a lunatic for having the temerity to be married to your boyfriend first, the more imbalanced you sound. And I do not automatically hate all OW, I can often see how these things happen to good people. But you just sound whackadoodle. None of this is even your business since he's still married and won't even leave his dog alone long enough to come to your house and see you. You don't know his kid. You are operating in a very very small sliver of his life.

Lol. Do you have a dog that has to be let out every few hours?
If I told you he came here but only a few hours at a time You would find fault with that. Oh he doesn't love you enough to spend the night with you. Cps is still investigating. Where did I say she was a lunatic for marrying him first? However she became my business when she contacted my rapist to get information about me and had her friends stalk me. I stopped sering him for several months. While she was looking for men on adult friend finder
Did you read the part where I stopped seeing him and joined match and she interfered with that too? But I'm imbalanced. Ok.

I'm really not invested in this hullabaloo enough to continue going back and forth with you. Enjoy the dramafest you've chosen to devote your life to.

And yet you keep responding.
I've devoted my life to it? Weren't you all just saying I only get a sliver of his life? Make up your mind.

Yes, you do only get a sliver of his life. Yet, YOUR life is devoted to all this BS and worrying about his wife and what she does. That's not a fair trade off, but evidently it's all you think you're worthy of, which is sad.

[Anonymous]

I don't want to hijack the rest of ops thread. Have a nice day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also have you gone through a custody fight? Again ask the courts why she has 50-50 custody.

Because courts have determined that is what's best for the child. Pretty much all divorcing parents get 50/50 now unless one is PROVEN to be unfit. Anyone can make a CPS call. Clearly it was unfounded if she retains custody.

The more you try to paint this woman as a lunatic for having the temerity to be married to your boyfriend first, the more imbalanced you sound. And I do not automatically hate all OW, I can often see how these things happen to good people. But you just sound whackadoodle. None of this is even your business since he's still married and won't even leave his dog alone long enough to come to your house and see you. You don't know his kid. You are operating in a very very small sliver of his life.

Lol. Do you have a dog that has to be let out every few hours?
If I told you he came here but only a few hours at a time You would find fault with that. Oh he doesn't love you enough to spend the night with you. Cps is still investigating. Where did I say she was a lunatic for marrying him first? However she became my business when she contacted my rapist to get information about me and had her friends stalk me. I stopped sering him for several months. While she was looking for men on adult friend finder
Did you read the part where I stopped seeing him and joined match and she interfered with that too? But I'm imbalanced. Ok.

I'm really not invested in this hullabaloo enough to continue going back and forth with you. Enjoy the dramafest you've chosen to devote your life to.

And yet you keep responding.
I've devoted my life to it? Weren't you all just saying I only get a sliver of his life? Make up your mind.

Yes, you do only get a sliver of his life. Yet, YOUR life is devoted to all this BS and worrying about his wife and what she does. That's not a fair trade off, but evidently it's all you think you're worthy of, which is sad.

I'm not the PP, yet I do have to say, it's not really fair that you're making her sound ridiculous for "worrying about his wife and what she does", when the PP has said that the wife went out of her way to harass PP. I think that pretty much warrants worrying about what the wife is doing when the wife is blatantly harassing her. Just my two cents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Smiley face for pps acting like the wife was a saint. It's funny you how these boards mimicked the way some see her irl

You people try to twist everything. I am awful for not rushing in to play step mom to this child before the divorce is finalized. If I told you I had met dc already you would criticize that. You assume because I am the "ow" that we haven't been through things together.

Just like you assumed his wife was innocently sitting by. I didn't go into details because they don't matter. I already said I wished we met under different circumstances.

I didn't talk about her and her sister reaching out to my rapist to get information about me. Or when I tried to stop seeing her husband she found me on match and had her friend catfish me. She then went on to have a female friend catfish me too. I didn't mention she is on several dating sites posed in a bra, and a corset. You would have just said she was on there checking on her husband. I didn't mention her biting the back of his arm drawing blood and his lawyer taking pics of it.

I didn't mention that a neighbor called cps on her and they're now investigating her. I didn't mention that her friend she had catfish me came back and apologized to me, told me how awful she is. I didn't mention that she put a GPS tracker on his car.
I didn't mention that she threatened to confront me with her baby ( who the heck does that?)
I didn't mention that she put their child in daycare for 10 hours a day while she sat home doing nothing.

I didn't mention any of it because it doesn't excuse what happened. No matter how shitty of a woman I think she is. But you know best. I'm the evil one.

What? How did she know you were raped and who your rapist was?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smiley face for pps acting like the wife was a saint. It's funny you how these boards mimicked the way some see her irl

You people try to twist everything. I am awful for not rushing in to play step mom to this child before the divorce is finalized. If I told you I had met dc already you would criticize that. You assume because I am the "ow" that we haven't been through things together.

Just like you assumed his wife was innocently sitting by. I didn't go into details because they don't matter. I already said I wished we met under different circumstances.

I didn't talk about her and her sister reaching out to my rapist to get information about me. Or when I tried to stop seeing her husband she found me on match and had her friend catfish me. She then went on to have a female friend catfish me too. I didn't mention she is on several dating sites posed in a bra, and a corset. You would have just said she was on there checking on her husband. I didn't mention her biting the back of his arm drawing blood and his lawyer taking pics of it.

I didn't mention that a neighbor called cps on her and they're now investigating her. I didn't mention that her friend she had catfish me came back and apologized to me, told me how awful she is. I didn't mention that she put a GPS tracker on his car.
I didn't mention that she threatened to confront me with her baby ( who the heck does that?)
I didn't mention that she put their child in daycare for 10 hours a day while she sat home doing nothing.

I didn't mention any of it because it doesn't excuse what happened. No matter how shitty of a woman I think she is. But you know best. I'm the evil one.

What? How did she know you were raped and who your rapist was?

She and I have had several conversations. She said he was using me for sex and he had a "fetish for uneducated fat women".
I told her I believed we were more than that. I told her about him taking off of work to interview therapists with me. She asked why I was in therapy and I told her that my experience nearly destroyed me. When her friend catfished me I didn't realize it in the beginning. I slipped and said his name. His name is very unique, I'd never heard it before I met him. They ( her friends and sister) found him on Facebook. When she fought with AP she began yelling my govt name. My grandmother is the only one who call me that. My ex called me that when he was angry at me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP: You're funny. I can't win. If I said he was with his kid 25% of the time you would criticize him. If I said I had met the child you would think I was an evil woman who couldn't wait until the divorce was finalized. We don't live in the same area 50% is fine. I am not some woman who doesn't have her own life. I work long hours ( 2 jobs), I have hobbies, friends, and I volunteer a few times a month. I am still young and want to have a substantial amount of money in my bank accounts in the next few years.
I am very fulfilled. I have never needed a man to complete me.

And you were complicit in destroying an innocent child's family life. You can't win because you are a loser. Your ability to understand that your life now is not perfectly rosy only extends to the fact that your AP passes gas. And you don't know his child yet. Best of luck.

One more time for the frustrated jilted woman who can't seem to understand that NO ONE can come between you and your lover if your lover is happy and feels good about himself/herself when they are with you. This falls on the two people in the relationship not a third party, got it? Not the pp, but really am sick and tired of your juvenile and ignorant comments about the AP, be it man or woman. If my DH is straying then there is most certainly something lacking in our relationship, maybe I know about it or maybe I learn about it in the aftermath, but I can't possibly blame a third party. That is just ignorant. PP, don't let these angry women throw their personal guilt for failure in their relationship onto you, they are blind in their own relationships.

Guild is indeed hard to swallow. So much easier to remove oneself from it through rationalization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^i hate ridiculous statements about how the kids will feel, in general. How about just honoring them by doing what's best for them every second of your life, like by nurturing your relationship with their father, regardless of who else comes sniffing around.

Doesn't work for those who are all about themselves and what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We aren't married yet. I left my spouse, and then he left his wife. It's better than I imagined it would be. Some days we do nothing at all. He sits on the couch working, and I'm curled up next to him reading.
I like that he comes home to me, and I have dinner ready. I like that he does my laundry. I like that we spend time with friends together and go on road trips without his phone blowing up. My blood pressure is much better. I enjoy pillow talk. I like constantly hearing "we". I'm happy to have finally met his family. The best thing is he doesn't go back to her at night.

THIS is what we all want. Well, OK, this is what I want.

But wasn't this how it was at first with your ex? That's what I don't get. Relationships are always great at the beginning.

Yep. Every relationship is sparkles and rainbows in the beginning. I believe most people get lazy the longer they are together. I have a family member that left his wife for his AP. They've been married for years but he confided in my mother that he's only sticking around because he's too old to move on and doesn't want to deal with a second divorce. They have the same marriage issues that he had with the first wife. And his kids hate her with a passion.

[Anonymous]

Friend left her first DH for AP and married him. 5 years later same thing. Left 2nd DH for second AP. He'll be DH #3 until she's bored again and needs a challenge. Then She'll move on w AP #3. All DH/APs have been betas who comply w her ever wish and take care of her son for her. That's how she goes out w APs. 2nd DH didn't even notice the pattern. Prob 3rd won't either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also have you gone through a custody fight? Again ask the courts why she has 50-50 custody.

Because courts have determined that is what's best for the child. Pretty much all divorcing parents get 50/50 now unless one is PROVEN to be unfit. Anyone can make a CPS call. Clearly it was unfounded if she retains custody.

The more you try to paint this woman as a lunatic for having the temerity to be married to your boyfriend first, the more imbalanced you sound. And I do not automatically hate all OW, I can often see how these things happen to good people. But you just sound whackadoodle. None of this is even your business since he's still married and won't even leave his dog alone long enough to come to your house and see you. You don't know his kid. You are operating in a very very small sliver of his life.

Lol. Do you have a dog that has to be let out every few hours?
If I told you he came here but only a few hours at a time You would find fault with that. Oh he doesn't love you enough to spend the night with you. Cps is still investigating. Where did I say she was a lunatic for marrying him first? However she became my business when she contacted my rapist to get information about me and had her friends stalk me. I stopped sering him for several months. While she was looking for men on adult friend finder
Did you read the part where I stopped seeing him and joined match and she interfered with that too? But I'm imbalanced. Ok.

I'm really not invested in this hullabaloo enough to continue going back and forth with you. Enjoy the dramafest you've chosen to devote your life to.

And yet you keep responding.
I've devoted my life to it? Weren't you all just saying I only get a sliver of his life? Make up your mind.

Yes, you do only get a sliver of his life. Yet, YOUR life is devoted to all this BS and worrying about his wife and what she does. That's not a fair trade off, but evidently it's all you think you're worthy of, which is sad.

Actually, I find that my DH wants nothing to do with the bitch of an ex he left. I get 100 percent of his time and guess what, bonus, we got full custody of the children since his ex is a bonafide nutcase! Planning our winter break as we speak, for 2017, already have a place for 2016, see how efficient we are. Don't let these bitches get you down OP and for goodness sakes stop engaging with them. You are what they are most afraid of in their own pitiful little lives.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP

[Anonymous]

Full custody of someone else's kids!! What an amazing prize! Life winner here for sure.

[Anonymous]

This thread is nuts. For the PP with the abusive ex-husband, I am very sorry for all you went through. But that doesn't make it right to cheat with a married man. First, even if the spouse is crazy, the spouse doesn't deserve betrayal and deception. Everyone deserves honesty. Second, cheating on a bitter or crazy person will make that person -you guessed it- more bitter and crazy. That is bad for that person, that person's kids, and, ultimately, you. Finally, if you have been through so much, I think you should try to work on yourself and healing without someone else and certainly without engaging more extreme drama. Peace is a good thing.

I just don't understand the vitriol for the allegedly bad, cheated on spouse. The cheaters didn't need to cheat and make that situation worse. If you hate your spouse or think they are terrible people, the thing to do is leave, honorably. Not cheat. And the OW or OM really have some nerve making in the people they hurt and talking about how horrible they are. You could have avoided all that by not cheating with their spouses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Full custody of someone else's kids!! What an amazing prize! Life winner here for sure.

New poster. It is an "amazing prize". We got custody at 4 and 7. I say WE because I am the SAH parent who raised them. DH traveled a lot back then, sometimes for months a a time. They are grown now. No one knows we are blended. They are all ours. I'm not saying these early years were easy, but don't make it sound like my kids were anything but a blessing. (And I hate the word blessing.) They are what made all the really hard times worth it. Seeing them grow up in a healthy, stable home away from my DH's nutty ex WAS a prize.