Daughter dating 31 year old man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. She says it's not serious and he likes to stop by in the evenings so they can "party" together. I was very careful to not say anything that sounded disapproving although I can't help but cringe.

Check her arms.

[Anonymous]

I "dated" a divorced 44 year old when I was 23. It was not serious and faded out pretty fast. He was absolutely gorgeous, but we had nothing in common. It was definitely not a sugar baby situation!

I most definitely did NOT tell my mom though.

[Anonymous]

A little different, but my 31 year old son is engaged to a 23 year old. She was 19 when they started dating. Freshman in college. She is more mature than he is in many ways. Her parents were initially really concerned. They adore him now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned that my 19 year old daughter is dating/hooking up with a 31 year old man. She seems to be developing feelings for him but I am concerned. Do I say anything?

It may be too late to caution her, but if she is open to hearing your concerns, try to make it very clear that it is not about HIM personally but about what your experience has taught you about age gap in certain phases of life.—and that exceptions to the rule are pretty rare.
“Sweetheart, I’m saying this to you as someone who has been 31 AND 19... A 31 year-old is not the intellectual or emotional equal to a 19-year-old. And if he says you are then that should be a red flag to YOU. Generally, a 31-year-old who sees a 19 year-old as his intellectual equal or dating ideal is likely either very emotionally immature or is exploitative and shallow. I know it must be very exciting and flattering to have his interest, but I want to caution you to examine this relationship with a discriminating eye. When you are 31 you will likely cringe at the idea of thinking you’d be dating-compatible with a 19-year-old. I’m your mother and I think you’re amazing at any age, so it’s no wonder he’s interested. But a man of 31 should not find that he has that much in common with someone your age. So without even knowing him, his motives are a bit concerning.”

And PS, I’m painfully aware that this would go over like a lead balloon. So Yeah....use this little speech at your own risk. But it’s the truth!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but my 31 year old son is engaged to a 23 year old. She was 19 when they started dating. Freshman in college. She is more mature than he is in many ways. Her parents were initially really concerned. They adore him now.

I'd be more concerned about their long term marriage if your 31 yr old is immature and engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband at 19 and we’re 19 years apart. Sometimes, it works.

Still yuck especially if you were `19. Think of a man looking at a baby and saying I can't wait to date her in 18 years!

[Anonymous]

LOL. She is not "dating" him. She is being used for sex by him and also she is buying drugs from him. Resourceful young girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. She says it's not serious and he likes to stop by in the evenings so they can "party" together. I was very careful to not say anything that sounded disapproving although I can't help but cringe.

That would creep me out, but her dating him would not. What 31 year old man wants to stop by college dorms and "party", who isnt a creeper and/or drug dealer? If she was enjoying feeling like an adult, going on vacations, dinners, adult dating things that would not bother me. A 31 dropping by her place to party would.

[Anonymous]

anyone remember the famous "Washingtonienne" from 2006?

[Anonymous]

OP if this is real she is subtly reaching out for help with her drug problem. Don’t miss the signs here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL. She is not "dating" him. She is being used for sex by him and also she is buying drugs from him. Resourceful young girl.

Nah, the dealer's piece doesn't have to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL. She is not "dating" him. She is being used for sex by him and also she is buying drugs from him. Resourceful young girl.

ideally she's getting the drugs for free (well services rendered anyway)

[Anonymous]

Sugar Baby

Could be in exchange for money or drugs/alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but my 31 year old son is engaged to a 23 year old. She was 19 when they started dating. Freshman in college. She is more mature than he is in many ways. Her parents were initially really concerned. They adore him now.

I'd be more concerned about their long term marriage if your 31 yr old is immature and engaged.

I didn’t say he was immature. He is college professor and Captain in the National Guard. He is a combat vet X3. Very smart. Very successful. But definitely ADHD. She has the maturity of someone well over her age. Sometimes age really is just a number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:anyone remember the famous "Washingtonienne" from 2006?

Do I ever! I worked with Rob Steinbuck. His colleagues watched the story unfold like a train wreck. A Washington insider’s “event extraordinaire.”