Daughter dating 31 year old man

[Anonymous]

Yes it would be concerned too, there's a reason he's not dating someone closer to his age. However, as others have said you aren't likely to get anywhere by voicing your objections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but my 31 year old son is engaged to a 23 year old. She was 19 when they started dating. Freshman in college. She is more mature than he is in many ways. Her parents were initially really concerned. They adore him now.

I'd be more concerned about their long term marriage if your 31 yr old is immature and engaged.

I didn’t say he was immature. He is college professor and Captain in the National Guard. He is a combat vet X3. Very smart. Very successful. But definitely ADHD. She has the maturity of someone well over her age. Sometimes age really is just a number.

I don’t think this age difference is a big deal. I met my husband at 21, he was 30. We’ve been married 15 yrs. I’d be more concerned with combat vet + ADHD combination. Pretty sure ADHD diagnosis makes you medically ineligible to serve as an officer as well. He must not seek treatment, another red flag.

You can have ADHD and serve in the military. My dad is a retired General. He most definitely has ADHD. You cannot be taking medication, but you can be in therapy. He actually managed it really well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but my 31 year old son is engaged to a 23 year old. She was 19 when they started dating. Freshman in college. She is more mature than he is in many ways. Her parents were initially really concerned. They adore him now.

I'd be more concerned about their long term marriage if your 31 yr old is immature and engaged.

I didn’t say he was immature. He is college professor and Captain in the National Guard. He is a combat vet X3. Very smart. Very successful. But definitely ADHD. She has the maturity of someone well over her age. Sometimes age really is just a number.

Sure, because she’s 23 now. A mature for her age 23 yo is fine with a less mature for his age 31 yo. I was her. The problem is that by her late 20s she will be WAY more mature than he is and frustrated by his ADHD. BTDT. We are pretty happy 20 yrs out but it was rocky for a while. He’s matured a lot, but honestly, this same woman, if she were 30 now, probably wouldn’t date him.

+1 exactly

Wait till the kids come along, and she'll be posting on here about how her DH is a man/child. Your son's GF is probably mothering him. Gross.

I dont think it's a big deal IF she waits to have kids. I had plenty of girlfriends who married in their early 20s and divorced around 30 without kids. They're now married with kids in better marriages but there was really very little lost in choosing to divorce.

PPs point was that fiance will not want to parent her immature husband and actually children, things that she might give a pass to now become huge problems when their are actually children to be cared for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but my 31 year old son is engaged to a 23 year old. She was 19 when they started dating. Freshman in college. She is more mature than he is in many ways. Her parents were initially really concerned. They adore him now.

I feel like this is the girlfriend posting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but my 31 year old son is engaged to a 23 year old. She was 19 when they started dating. Freshman in college. She is more mature than he is in many ways. Her parents were initially really concerned. They adore him now.

I'd be more concerned about their long term marriage if your 31 yr old is immature and engaged.

I didn’t say he was immature. He is college professor and Captain in the National Guard. He is a combat vet X3. Very smart. Very successful. But definitely ADHD. She has the maturity of someone well over her age. Sometimes age really is just a number.

So was she one of his students? Also, the details of your story are not adding up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but my 31 year old son is engaged to a 23 year old. She was 19 when they started dating. Freshman in college. She is more mature than he is in many ways. Her parents were initially really concerned. They adore him now.

I'd be more concerned about their long term marriage if your 31 yr old is immature and engaged.

I didn’t say he was immature. He is college professor and Captain in the National Guard. He is a combat vet X3. Very smart. Very successful. But definitely ADHD. She has the maturity of someone well over her age. Sometimes age really is just a number.

So was she one of his students? Also, the details of your story are not adding up.

Ok Miss Marple.

[Anonymous]

Every thread on this site is an absolute trainwreck. No one ever gets much great advice and people are evil just to be evil. This is has been so entertaining since this pandemic started.

Carry on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but my 31 year old son is engaged to a 23 year old. She was 19 when they started dating. Freshman in college. She is more mature than he is in many ways. Her parents were initially really concerned. They adore him now.

I'd be more concerned about their long term marriage if your 31 yr old is immature and engaged.

I didn’t say he was immature. He is college professor and Captain in the National Guard. He is a combat vet X3. Very smart. Very successful. But definitely ADHD. She has the maturity of someone well over her age. Sometimes age really is just a number.

So was she one of his students? Also, the details of your story are not adding up.

No. She was not one of his students. Damn you people are just looking for things to be outraged about. She didn’t even attend the same college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it would be concerned too, there's a reason he's not dating someone closer to his age. However, as others have said you aren't likely to get anywhere by voicing your objections.

I think the opposite. What 31 year old wouldn’t want to date someone young and hot? The 19 year old probably has daddy issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but my 31 year old son is engaged to a 23 year old. She was 19 when they started dating. Freshman in college. She is more mature than he is in many ways. Her parents were initially really concerned. They adore him now.

I'd be more concerned about their long term marriage if your 31 yr old is immature and engaged.

I didn’t say he was immature. He is college professor and Captain in the National Guard. He is a combat vet X3. Very smart. Very successful. But definitely ADHD. She has the maturity of someone well over her age. Sometimes age really is just a number.

So was she one of his students? Also, the details of your story are not adding up.

No. She was not one of his students. Damn you people are just looking for things to be outraged about. She didn’t even attend the same college.

Hey you were the one gleefully posting about your grown son dating a teenaged college student, and how he's immature and age is just a number etc. Had to be asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes it would be concerned too, there's a reason he's not dating someone closer to his age. However, as others have said you aren't likely to get anywhere by voicing your objections.

I think the opposite. What 31 year old wouldn’t want to date someone young and hot? The 19 year old probably has daddy issues.

A 31 year old with a job and who is looking to eventually marry and have a family, but prefers to party like he’s in college? He’s a loser. I’d actually understand a 41 year old divorced man doing this before a 31 year old never married dude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned that my 19 year old daughter is dating/hooking up with a 31 year old man. She seems to be developing feelings for him but I am concerned. Do I say anything?

Tell this pathetic predator to stay away from your daughter, and teach your daughter to have some self-respect and not waste her time with a creep. Why is this even a question?

So, 19 year old college boys aren't creeps?

What are you talking about?

Her point is any one can be a “pathetic predator” or creep. Age isn’t the issue.

Sure, but we're talking about this particular 31 year old, not someone else. Some 19 year olds are creeps, some aren't. That has nothing to do with this.

[Anonymous]

19 year old creeps dating 19 year old party girls is called college.

31 year old creeps dating 19 yo party girls is called something different- surely you see that?

[Anonymous]

Best diet: eat a lot less of the things you truly like to eat. Eat more of the health things that are high volume/low calorie

[Anonymous]

I bet this 31 y/o is a far better lover than any 19 y/o kid she could date. It may be good for her in the long run to learn that most guys are not good lovers until they're like 30.