Wife having mid-life crisis and not sure how to respond

[Anonymous]

She honestly sounds shallow. She probably won't change, but an anti-depressant might help her stabilize her mood.

Suggest to her seeing someone at the Women's Center. They do therapy and career coaching. You can't fix her, and she has the means to help herself. It's nice that you care.

[Anonymous]

Op, I applaud you for trying to find a way to support your wife. Unfortunately, you can to the wrong place for advice. DCUM is full of bitter, angry, jealous women. The who work outside the home are particularly derogatory and demeaning of women who stay at home. Ignore the nastiness. It may take a little time for your wife to come to terms with getting older and the "bloom being off the rose." You need to show her that she is still beautiful. Next encourage (but don't push) her to find something meaningful to pursue. Her job, now that the kids are in school, has been redefined and she needs to find a new identity. She is lucky to have a caring husband, but seriously, ignore the haters on this site and particularly in this thread.

[Anonymous]

BTW--she doesn't sound "shallow." She sounds depressed.

[Anonymous]

Has she always had low,self-esteem? So maybe she felt like her looks were all she had? Also - did she get a lot of attention for her looks as a younger woman?

[Anonymous]

Shekberg needs validation and given any attention or flattery, will cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BTW--she doesn't sound "shallow." She sounds depressed.

+1

Medication and counseling.

[Anonymous]

How about a nice cup of tea, some friends and reading the Yellow Wallpaper before we prescribe meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife has been openly saying she feels in the midst of a mid-life crisis. She is 42. We have what most would consider a very good setup. Nice house, upper middle income, healthy, smart kids, good public schools. In the last couple of years, she has become very obsessed with her looks. She looks good, but she looks 42 (and I don't mean that in a bad way, in a good way, great shape, attractive but she doesn't pass for younger). Every time we go out, she asks random people how old they think she is and they usually guess about 40ish. You can only imagine how great last night was when the bartender carded me and not her (I am 39). She talks botox, being invisible, etc. etc.

Lots of talk about "this is it, nothing left to look forward to." She is a SAHM, youngest is school full time. She says she wants to go back to work, but she is looking for the perfect part time job. FWIW, I am totally fine with her staying home or working, as long as she is happy. We don't need the money.

I am at a loss of what to say, how to support her. I am the typical male, problem solver, but I can't solve what doesn't seem to be broken.

Is this something that will naturally pass? I know much of this is typical but its been going on for a while and her obsession with her supposed aging looks is getting tiresome.

Sorry for the long post. Appreciate any suggestions.

She's facing the stiff dick of reality that all women face as they get older. Just another reminder that men age like fine wine while women age like milk.

[Anonymous]

She needs a career. Not just a job. Or a passion. Something so she stops obsessing about herself and finds validation and fulfillment from something outside you, your kids, or her looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Many women struggle with fading looks.

As they should. The gravy train is ending.

Tell her to get a god damn job to help bolster her self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

Yes of course, my math wasn't perfect so my post is completely irrelevant.

Classic DCUM harpie logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course, my math wasn't perfect so my post is completely irrelevant.

Classic DCUM harpie logic.

Your math was pretty bad...you must admit. Not just a little off there. Peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife has been openly saying she feels in the midst of a mid-life crisis. She is 42. We have what most would consider a very good setup. Nice house, upper middle income, healthy, smart kids, good public schools. In the last couple of years, she has become very obsessed with her looks. She looks good, but she looks 42 (and I don't mean that in a bad way, in a good way, great shape, attractive but she doesn't pass for younger). Every time we go out, she asks random people how old they think she is and they usually guess about 40ish. You can only imagine how great last night was when the bartender carded me and not her (I am 39). She talks botox, being invisible, etc. etc.

Lots of talk about "this is it, nothing left to look forward to." She is a SAHM, youngest is school full time. She says she wants to go back to work, but she is looking for the perfect part time job. FWIW, I am totally fine with her staying home or working, as long as she is happy. We don't need the money.

I am at a loss of what to say, how to support her. I am the typical male, problem solver, but I can't solve what doesn't seem to be broken.

Is this something that will naturally pass? I know much of this is typical but its been going on for a while and her obsession with her supposed aging looks is getting tiresome.

Sorry for the long post. Appreciate any suggestions.

She's facing the stiff dick of reality that all women face as they get older. Just another reminder that men age like fine wine while women age like milk.

This isn't true. Have you looked around at the middle aged and olden men around here?

[Anonymous]

Rich men age nicely, just sayin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rich men age nicely, just sayin.

Rich women also age much better.