Backlash from family and friends

[Anonymous]

They are the stupid selfish ones, I could understand public school in Virginia or Maryland but DC is terrifying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are the stupid selfish ones, I could understand public school in Virginia or Maryland but DC is terrifying

What's your first-hand, recent experience with public school in DC?

[Anonymous]

I went to public and it was terrible in every way. I am very proud and grateful that I can put my son in private. No one could make me feel bad about it. All of my friends have their kids in privates (all different ones) so I've never encountered that problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are the stupid selfish ones, I could understand public school in Virginia or Maryland but DC is terrifying

I can only think of a handful that aren't frightening - Banneker, Wilson, Ellington, the Spanish Immersion, the Mandarin Immersion and the Capitol
Hill Cluster. The lottery is tough and reduced to sheer luck! If you don't get in (or happen to be zoned for Wilson) then you are pretty much screwed!

[Anonymous]

I say this as a public school teacher in MoCo: a public school need not be terrifying in order for you to choose a private for your NT DC and not be considered a snob. Choose the best school for your child and remind all critics that he or she is your responsibility to educate and nuture.

[Anonymous]

Mine is classic.. I was at my Dr and when asked what middle school my DC would be going to next year I casually mentioned my child would be leaving public for private. My Dr instead of 'treating me' proceeded to give me a lecture on why Private school was wasteful, Schools in MoCo are excellent (Gaithersburg High cluster ) and then finished up with diagnosing my ailment as stress related and the prescription; withdraw application embrace public and you will be 'as good as new'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is classic.. I was at my Dr and when asked what middle school my DC would be going to next year I casually mentioned my child would be leaving public for private. My Dr instead of 'treating me' proceeded to give me a lecture on why Private school was wasteful, Schools in MoCo are excellent (Gaithersburg High cluster ) and then finished up with diagnosing my ailment as stress related and the prescription; withdraw application embrace public and you will be 'as good as new'

And you immediately found a new doctor, right?

[Anonymous]

Yes. My mother cannot fathom why we chose public over private. But then she doesn't know what money is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is classic.. I was at my Dr and when asked what middle school my DC would be going to next year I casually mentioned my child would be leaving public for private. My Dr instead of 'treating me' proceeded to give me a lecture on why Private school was wasteful, Schools in MoCo are excellent (Gaithersburg High cluster ) and then finished up with diagnosing my ailment as stress related and the prescription; withdraw application embrace public and you will be 'as good as new'

That's as bad as the doctor who saw that I was underweight, then proceeded to lecture me on how I should cut out soda, sweets, etc. When I don't even like that stuff.
So weird.

[Anonymous]

I recieved the same reactions. People are right, this is about them. So offer only as much as necessary- we are just looking at the right fit for .... (insert child's name). Going to give it a try if it works out.

I found once we picked private, my friends with kids in public don't ask about my kids, their experience as much, and that is ok. I don't think one option is better than the other for everyone, but I think we found the best option at this point for our kids. be sure not to bad mouth or bash any part of public or your local school if you have to answer questions.

[Anonymous]

We struggle with this...I think we were always strong supporters of public and feel like we have to justify it. We just make sure that we don't say anything negative about public schools so it doesn't come across like we think we are "better" for our decision. I just explain that it was the right choice for our children for now.

[Anonymous]

Some people are threatened when other people make choices that are different from theirs, whether it's on this issue or any other.

Real friends don't think you need to reach the same conclusion as them on everything. As several PPs have said -- do what's best for your kid, whether it's private or public, and if someone likes you less because of it, it's their problem.

[Anonymous]

Here is my theory on the situation (well, my situation).

I live in a pretty affluent community in Montgomery County. Schools here are considered excellent. All my friends send their kids there. I truly believe the negative reaction from people is mostly their own regret or confusion about whether they are doing the right thing sending their kids to public, when they can EASILY afford to send their kids to a private school. It is a harder pill to swallow when you know very well you have the means to give your child the very best in education, but choose, instead to have nicer cars, vacations, diamond rings. Consequently, they lash out in anger or whatever emotional reaction you might observe.

[Anonymous]

I understand both sides of the situation. On the one hand op... you ARE making a judgment about the quality of the public school. You have to own that. On the other hand, everyone gets to decide what they want for their own kids... some are willing to pay extra for education and some are not. Both are o.k. choices.

I understand your situation b/c we are making plans to sell our house and move to a different public school zone. Obviously, when we announce the move/plans, people will realize that we think the local school isn't good enough ... while they are still planning to send their kids there (some wish they weren't and some think it's just fine). Sometimes people ask about your decision b/c they wonder what you know that they don't (about the local public ... I've asked people that before when I heard they were moving to private). Sometimes, like you experienced, they just think you are crazy and trying to waste your money.

All I can say is that when you are convinced what you are doing is the right thing -- i.e. the path that will allow you to sleep well at night -- then you just stay strong to that. As to what you say to other people... "we really love the curriculum/vibe/energy/etc. at ____ and we wanted to give it a try." Focus on what you like about the new plan rather than what's wrong with the public school. (For us, we are going to focus on saying we want to shorten the commute and try not to dwell on the school deficiencies where we are.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is my theory on the situation (well, my situation).

I live in a pretty affluent community in Montgomery County. Schools here are considered excellent. All my friends send their kids there. I truly believe the negative reaction from people is mostly their own regret or confusion about whether they are doing the right thing sending their kids to public, when they can EASILY afford to send their kids to a private school. It is a harder pill to swallow when you know very well you have the means to give your child the very best in education, but choose, instead to have nicer cars, vacations, diamond rings. Consequently, they lash out in anger or whatever emotional reaction you might observe.

Or maybe they don't think that "the very best in education" is necessarily a private school, and are reacting to your attitude that public school is inferior.