Backlash from family and friends

[Anonymous]

Our own president the highest "public figure in the land" (who is also black) sends his daughters to Sidwell. Many blacks send their kids to public and independent schools.

And who cares how you spend your money! Nobody would question, at least to your face, why you bought an expensive house, car or clothing? Why on earth is it their business to ask you about why you selected a particular school? Why in the world are we coming up with so many different ways to politely say, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS when it's actually them who are in the wrong by even making it an issue. And why on earth would you want to be friends (much less friendly) to people who are so brazen. I would never think to say, "Why in the world are you sending your kid to public school in the city that has the worst public school system in the country?" They can do what they want and I'm sure it will all end up fine. I happen to work, have more than one kid, and they are both boys. So I'm guessing that I won't have 1) time to supplement what they may not be learning since I don't see them after school, 2) there are 2 to supplement instead of only an only child, and 3) schools in the public system seem to teach more "girl style" of learning and not interacting/having frequent breaks/etc that benefit boys learning better. I have no real clue or ability to measure whether or not my kids' $30k+/yr tuition will actually help them in any tangible or intangible way. But it might...or it might hurt them. Perhaps the peer challenge is good, perhaps it will turn them into adults who thinks everyone has a pool, mansion, and 2nd home. If I had a crystal ball I would know all these answers. In the meantime, I can't think of anything BETTER to spend my money on other than their education. My choice and certainly my business

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just tell my friends that I hate public schools and that shocks them into silence because everyone else is so politically correct to make excuses for sending their kids to private. Bottom line, it's no one's business.

You know, you may be onto something. I have been following this thread with the same problem and maybe I will try this and see if it cuts down the "well I went to public school and turned out fine" response (my least favorite)

I can't stand the "I went to public school and turned out fine" rhetoric. People, you went to public school 20-30 years ago and for some, in areas where overcrowding, English as a second language, and state budgets had money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just tell my friends that I hate public schools and that shocks them into silence because everyone else is so politically correct to make excuses for sending their kids to private. Bottom line, it's no one's business.

You know, you may be onto something. I have been following this thread with the same problem and maybe I will try this and see if it cuts down the "well I went to public school and turned out fine" response (my least favorite)

I can't stand the "I went to public school and turned out fine" rhetoric. People, you went to public school 20-30 years ago and for some, in areas where overcrowding, English as a second language, and state budgets had money.

Sorry I meant those things were unheard of and state budgets had money

[Anonymous]

I agree. Really, it comes down to what you value most.

My sister complains daily about her son's DC charter school, yet both her husband and feel renovating their home, going on expensive vacation, and attending pro football games are more important than paying for private school. They had their son at an independent school during his elementary yrs and then switched to save money during his middle school yrs. Of course, that's their choice, but why keep complaining?

She criticizes our decision to pay tuition for K and believes it's a waste. Go figure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Really, it comes down to what you value most.

My sister complains daily about her son's DC charter school, yet both her husband and feel renovating their home, going on expensive vacation, and attending pro football games are more important than paying for private school. They had their son at an independent school during his elementary yrs and then switched to save money during his middle school yrs. Of course, that's their choice, but why keep complaining?

She criticizes our decision to pay tuition for K and believes it's a waste. Go figure.

I'm amazed at things people prioritize over giving their kids a good education. Like you said, if you choose to go the public/charter school route (and can afford private) then you shouldn't complain. To each their own but seems they should have saved money during the elementary years and not middle where so much is in the balance, and definitely not for fancy vacations and pro sports games.

[Anonymous]

We have had to deal with it on and off for years. Our oldest is about to enter her ninth year at private school and our two younger are in private school as well. We actually get something of a cold shoulder from various parents in the neighborhood who send their kids to public. Honestly I have come to the conclusion that they see it as your open commentary on their choice of schooling, as in, you think that their choice is not good enough for your child. Many people also equate it with snobbery, too much money on your hands, you name it. Whatever it is, you can't fix it so don't fret it too much. Friends are friends regardless over a choice that has nothing to do with them in the end anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have had to deal with it on and off for years. Our oldest is about to enter her ninth year at private school and our two younger are in private school as well. We actually get something of a cold shoulder from various parents in the neighborhood who send their kids to public. Honestly I have come to the conclusion that they see it as your open commentary on their choice of schooling, as in, you think that their choice is not good enough for your child. Many people also equate it with snobbery, too much money on your hands, you name it. Whatever it is, you can't fix it so don't fret it too much. Friends are friends regardless over a choice that has nothing to do with them in the end anyway.

Exactly. Honestly, someone who acts the way PP describes above it someone with whom I don't want to spend time or try to be friends. I certainly don't pick my friends based on where they send their kids to school. It is none of my business.

[Anonymous]

We left FCPS (Langley) for private a few years ago. Then as that year wore on, DC came home with more and more info on friends leaving for other privates. It was amazing. Turned out close to 50% of her friends left for private that would have gone to Langley. Some parents that did not were pretty icy about it. It is a pretty explicit comment on the quality of the public schools by you - you're basically saying I'd rather pay a lot of money than take what's offered free. And in FCPS, everyone is supposed to salute and praise the schools as the best ever.

Don't regret it one bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We left FCPS (Langley) for private a few years ago. Then as that year wore on, DC came home with more and more info on friends leaving for other privates. It was amazing. Turned out close to 50% of her friends left for private that would have gone to Langley. Some parents that did not were pretty icy about it. It is a pretty explicit comment on the quality of the public schools by you - you're basically saying I'd rather pay a lot of money than take what's offered free. And in FCPS, everyone is supposed to salute and praise the schools as the best ever.

Don't regret it one bit.

Probably one of the reasons Langley is under enrolled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have not announced that we are applying to the independent schools for our DC. People ask. However, the reaction we've gotten ranges from shock to anger. Why can't your child just go to the local public school? Why do you want to pay so much money? Your child's friends will be snobs. This is what we've gotten.

It's so disrespectful, we think. Why do other parents care? It's our choice. We're running into people who are so pro-DCPS that they put down anyone who seeks an independent school education. We didn't expect this especially from family and close friends. These are not strangers.

Don't engage with them and change the subject. Take it as flattery that they want you to stay in the school they are in.