Backlash from family and friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have not announced that we are applying to the independent schools for our DC. People ask. However, the reaction we've gotten ranges from shock to anger. Why can't your child just go to the local public school? Why do you want to pay so much money? Your child's friends will be snobs. This is what we've gotten.

It's so disrespectful, we think. Why do other parents care? It's our choice. We're running into people who are so pro-DCPS that they put down anyone who seeks an independent school education. We didn't expect this especially from family and close friends. These are not strangers.

I wouldn't give much explanation except this, "We visited xx school and really loved the school and could see our child xx attending and being happy there." Also most primates offer much smaller class sizes and that can be another reason. 30 kids verses 15 in a class can really make a difference for certain kids.

Meant most privates (not primates)!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have not announced that we are applying to the independent schools for our DC. People ask. However, the reaction we've gotten ranges from shock to anger. Why can't your child just go to the local public school? Why do you want to pay so much money? Your child's friends will be snobs. This is what we've gotten.

It's so disrespectful, we think. Why do other parents care? It's our choice. We're running into people who are so pro-DCPS that they put down anyone who seeks an independent school education. We didn't expect this especially from family and close friends. These are not strangers.

I wouldn't give much explanation except this, "We visited xx school and really loved the school and could see our child xx attending and being happy there." Also most primates offer much smaller class sizes and that can be another reason. 30 kids verses 15 in a class can really make a difference for certain kids.

Meant most privates (not primates)!

I did get a chuckle out of thinking about the schools as primates. Hehehe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yeah, I don't really see black families poo-pooing private schools. "Good on you" is the message.

Not my experience. Every person that I have shared my choice with who has some ridiculous critiscm has been Black.

You must not be a member of Jack & Jill (or know many members). The vast majority of members in the DC chapter (proudly) send their children to private school (especially for high school). Wilson and SWW graduates are a distinct minority; to say nothing of Banneker or other public schools. It sounds as if you need a different AA social circle.

Hahahahaha! Yeah NO I am NOT a member of Jack and Jill. I'm laughing because I was just saying be to myself every Black person responding that no one criticized their choice must be from that J&J circle. J&J are predominantly Black people who grew up with money or new money Black people who would prefer to forget from where they came. I have ZERO desire to be a part of that circle.

+1

[Anonymous]

I am black, and all of my black friends send their kids to private, many starting in middle school. Many of the parents also went to private school. There are a lot of us in the area, you know.

[Anonymous]

AA. Grew up poor, but my extended family always found a way to send if not all the kids, at least the most promising ones to private either the local parochials or independent schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yeah, I don't really see black families poo-pooing private schools. "Good on you" is the message.

Not my experience. Every person that I have shared my choice with who has some ridiculous critiscm has been Black.

You must not be a member of Jack & Jill (or know many members). The vast majority of members in the DC chapter (proudly) send their children to private school (especially for high school). Wilson and SWW graduates are a distinct minority; to say nothing of Banneker or other public schools. It sounds as if you need a different AA social circle.

Hahahahaha! Yeah NO I am NOT a member of Jack and Jill. I'm laughing because I was just saying be to myself every Black person responding that no one criticized their choice must be from that J&J circle. J&J are predominantly Black people who grew up with money or new money Black people who would prefer to forget from where they came. I have ZERO desire to be a part of that circle.

Based on your description, it's clear that you don't know any actual J&J members. It appears that you're more comfortable relying on tired stereotypes and ignorance. Therefore, please continue to surround yourself with AA who criticize your efforts to provide what you think is the best education for your children. Good luck with that dear .

I've met enough. They are mostly snobs. The fact that you even associate private schools acceptance with Jack and Jill speaks volumes. They are the Black elite. That's OK, but some of us aren't interested in only associating with the so called elite.

What do you think is the white equivalent Junior League?

Mom who is tired of hearing about the cotillion.

[Anonymous]

DC starts K next year, so we haven't experienced a backlash yet, but we're bracing ourselves for it. My spouse is a public figure, which means friends/neighbors/constituents have been lobbying us to send our kids to public school before they were even born. Although this admissions process has been a big part of our lives for the past month or two, we've felt constrained about sharing any of this with anyone but our family. There's a lot of neighborhood cheerleading for our local ES, but widespread concerns about the MS and HS. Even though a lot of people send their children to public charter schools, there's an undercurrent of disdain about that choice and it's perceived as draining the local PSs of the wealthiest, most involved parents. Meanwhile, those who send their children to ISs keep pretty quiet about their decisions. It's like a secret society, completely opaque from the outside. When our local friends who send their kids to PS aren't complaining about overcrowded classrooms, inadequate facilities, bullying teachers, and testing, they're sharing articles on social media about how you're a bad person/racist/classist if you send your child to a private school. I'm not looking forward to neighbors' reactions to our news, but at this point I've been dreading it for so long that it'll be something of a relief to just tell people.

[Anonymous]

You have double the pressure. This is common for public officials. You have my sympathy. Good luck! People will not like it, but guess what? You don't have to care what they think.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we still receive questions about why we don't send our 2 kids to the local public. It is almost recruitment, I cannot describe it properly but the encounters are always bizarre. "But it is such a good school!" is routinely said. Oh, and if they hear you mention something about the private that is not glowing they will almost shriek "oh really? That is just terrible".

Education is individualized, end of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yeah, I don't really see black families poo-pooing private schools. "Good on you" is the message.

Not my experience. Every person that I have shared my choice with who has some ridiculous critiscm has been Black.

You must not be a member of Jack & Jill (or know many members). The vast majority of members in the DC chapter (proudly) send their children to private school (especially for high school). Wilson and SWW graduates are a distinct minority; to say nothing of Banneker or other public schools. It sounds as if you need a different AA social circle.

Hahahahaha! Yeah NO I am NOT a member of Jack and Jill. I'm laughing because I was just saying be to myself every Black person responding that no one criticized their choice must be from that J&J circle. J&J are predominantly Black people who grew up with money or new money Black people who would prefer to forget from where they came. I have ZERO desire to be a part of that circle.

Based on your description, it's clear that you don't know any actual J&J members. It appears that you're more comfortable relying on tired stereotypes and ignorance. Therefore, please continue to surround yourself with AA who criticize your efforts to provide what you think is the best education for your children. Good luck with that dear .

I've met enough. They are mostly snobs. The fact that you even associate private schools acceptance with Jack and Jill speaks volumes. They are the Black elite. That's OK, but some of us aren't interested in only associating with the so called elite.

What do you think is the white equivalent Junior League?

Mom who is tired of hearing about the cotillion.

I don't have any personal knowledge, but what I have heard about the Junior League does remind me of J&J.

[Anonymous]

I just tell my friends that I hate public schools and that shocks them into silence because everyone else is so politically correct to make excuses for sending their kids to private. Bottom line, it's no one's business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just tell my friends that I hate public schools and that shocks them into silence because everyone else is so politically correct to make excuses for sending their kids to private. Bottom line, it's no one's business.

Do you still have any friends?

[Anonymous]

yes, most of my friends send their kids to private

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just tell my friends that I hate public schools and that shocks them into silence because everyone else is so politically correct to make excuses for sending their kids to private. Bottom line, it's no one's business.

+1. Now I no longer have to explain myself, they all get it's a non-starter conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just tell my friends that I hate public schools and that shocks them into silence because everyone else is so politically correct to make excuses for sending their kids to private. Bottom line, it's no one's business.

You know, you may be onto something. I have been following this thread with the same problem and maybe I will try this and see if it cuts down the "well I went to public school and turned out fine" response (my least favorite)