Teen daughter "didn't wait"...how to proceed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'd take her to get an IUD. Pills and condoms are unreliable. Want to avoid being a Grandpa? This is how.

+1 IUD and condoms

Also she isn't the age of consent...so that is statutory rape. As a parent I couldn't condone that in my house. So they wait until she's 16 or guy risks jail time.

What? Who'd report him? You?

Anyone can - school officials, other students, etc. Of you knowingly allow it you could be charged too. Seriously.

This is bad legal advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd take her to the gyn to discuss birth control options ASAP. While providing condoms is a must, I wouldn't necessarily count on them using one every single time. As for the allowing them to do it under your roof... I'm not sure about that. On one hand, I wouldn't want to "approve." On the other, I'm not sure I'd rather them doing it in a car or on a park bench. And yes, if you know the boys parents, I'd probably talk to them too so they can talk to their son.

Fifteen-year-old "kids" should not be having sex at home. If doing it in a car, etc. is inconvenient, then too freaking bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd take her to the gyn to discuss birth control options ASAP. While providing condoms is a must, I wouldn't necessarily count on them using one every single time. As for the allowing them to do it under your roof... I'm not sure about that. On one hand, I wouldn't want to "approve." On the other, I'm not sure I'd rather them doing it in a car or on a park bench. And yes, if you know the boys parents, I'd probably talk to them too so they can talk to their son.

This. I lost my virginity at 15 too. Are you able to also talk to her about how sex has changed their relationship? Can you ask her if it brought them closer together? You may also want to tell her that when you start having sex with someone the relationship usually becomes more serious and that cheating becomes a bigger threat to the relationship.

I would not let them do it in your house while you're home for a few different reasons. Imaging walking in on them or hearing them. Yuck. It also may make them lax on how important the act of sex is and they probably will have it a lot more if they have a place to do it.

[Anonymous]

Is her mother in the picture at all?
Or mother-type substitute?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'd take her to get an IUD. Pills and condoms are unreliable. Want to avoid being a Grandpa? This is how.

+1 IUD and condoms

Also she isn't the age of consent...so that is statutory rape. As a parent I couldn't condone that in my house. So they wait until she's 16 or guy risks jail time.

What? Who'd report him? You?

Anyone can - school officials, other students, etc. Of you knowingly allow it you could be charged too. Seriously.

This is bad legal advice.

Yeah, what part?

"The first statute deals with carnal knowledge of a child between thirteen and fifteen years of age. Therefore, if you are 18 years of age or older and have sex with a 13 or 14 year old minor, that is a Class 4 felony and punishable by 2-10 yrs and up to $100,000 fine."

"§ 18.2-371. Causing or encouraging acts rendering children delinquent, abused, etc.; penalty. Any person eighteen years of age or older, including the parent of any child, who

(i) willfully contributes to, encourages, or causes any act, omission, or condition which renders a child delinquent, in need of services, in need of supervision, or abused or neglected as defined in §16.1-228,or

(ii) engages in consensual sexual intercourse with a child fifteen or older not his spouse, child, or grandchild, shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor. This section shall not be construed as repealing, modifying, or in any way affecting §§ 18.2-18, 18.2-19, 18.2-61, 18.2-63, 18.2-66, and 18.2-347.
(Code 1950, § 18.1-14; 1960, c. 358; 1975, cc. 14, 15; 1981, cc. 397, 568; 1990, c. 797; 1991, c. 295; 1993, c. 411.)"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd take her to the gyn to discuss birth control options ASAP. While providing condoms is a must, I wouldn't necessarily count on them using one every single time. As for the allowing them to do it under your roof... I'm not sure about that. On one hand, I wouldn't want to "approve." On the other, I'm not sure I'd rather them doing it in a car or on a park bench. And yes, if you know the boys parents, I'd probably talk to them too so they can talk to their son.

Fifteen-year-old "kids" should not be having sex at home. If doing it in a car, etc. is inconvenient, then too freaking bad.

This is completely idiotic.

[Anonymous]

I would also make sure that she understands that she can stop having sex if she decides she is not ready down the road. Many girls feel like it is expected if they have done it before (whether the current boyfriend expects it or another boyfriend in the future).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'd take her to get an IUD. Pills and condoms are unreliable. Want to avoid being a Grandpa? This is how.

+1 IUD and condoms

Also she isn't the age of consent...so that is statutory rape. As a parent I couldn't condone that in my house. So they wait until she's 16 or guy risks jail time.

What? Who'd report him? You?

Anyone can - school officials, other students, etc. Of you knowingly allow it you could be charged too. Seriously.

It isn't statutory rape. He isn't over 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'd take her to get an IUD. Pills and condoms are unreliable. Want to avoid being a Grandpa? This is how.

+1 IUD and condoms

Also she isn't the age of consent...so that is statutory rape. As a parent I couldn't condone that in my house. So they wait until she's 16 or guy risks jail time.

What? Who'd report him? You?

Anyone can - school officials, other students, etc. Of you knowingly allow it you could be charged too. Seriously.

This is bad legal advice.

Yeah, what part?

"The first statute deals with carnal knowledge of a child between thirteen and fifteen years of age. Therefore, if you are 18 years of age or older and have sex with a 13 or 14 year old minor, that is a Class 4 felony and punishable by 2-10 yrs and up to $100,000 fine."

"§ 18.2-371. Causing or encouraging acts rendering children delinquent, abused, etc.; penalty. Any person eighteen years of age or older, including the parent of any child, who

(i) willfully contributes to, encourages, or causes any act, omission, or condition which renders a child delinquent, in need of services, in need of supervision, or abused or neglected as defined in §16.1-228,or

(ii) engages in consensual sexual intercourse with a child fifteen or older not his spouse, child, or grandchild, shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor. This section shall not be construed as repealing, modifying, or in any way affecting §§ 18.2-18, 18.2-19, 18.2-61, 18.2-63, 18.2-66, and 18.2-347.
(Code 1950, § 18.1-14; 1960, c. 358; 1975, cc. 14, 15; 1981, cc. 397, 568; 1990, c. 797; 1991, c. 295; 1993, c. 411.)"

Well, for the bit you posted about the first statute, it flat out doesn't apply. OP said his dd is 15.

For the second portion, (18.2), the part where OP gave no indication that this applies. Statutory rape charges only work under this law if one partner is over 18, by the very wording you posted. That doesn't sound like the case here. Two teens of roughly the same age are in the clear legally.

[Anonymous]

Let's get real. She is not going to stop having sex and she is not being coerced. She and her boyfriend are not felons. Take her to planned parenthood, and get the kind of shot that lasts a year or whatever their Dr. recommends for 15 year old. Talk to her and her boyfriend about STDs and ask him to buy condoms or buy them for him, but don't count on him using them. Keep the dialogue open. Don't be judgmental. Tell her its her body and you respect her right to make decisions about it. Sounds like you are doing a good job. Don't let anyone tell you your daughter is either immoral or abnormal. Teen age sex is completely normal for some kids. I raised three daughter all of whom had sex as teenagers and they have all grown up to be respected professionals, good wives and wonderful mothers. You are a good dad. Don't doubt yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's get real. She is not going to stop having sex and she is not being coerced. She and her boyfriend are not felons. Take her to planned parenthood, and get the kind of shot that lasts a year or whatever their Dr. recommends for 15 year old. Talk to her and her boyfriend about STDs and ask him to buy condoms or buy them for him, but don't count on him using them. Keep the dialogue open. Don't be judgmental. Tell her its her body and you respect her right to make decisions about it. Sounds like you are doing a good job. Don't let anyone tell you your daughter is either immoral or abnormal. Teen age sex is completely normal for some kids. I raised three daughter all of whom had sex as teenagers and they have all grown up to be respected professionals, good wives and wonderful mothers. You are a good dad. Don't doubt yourself.

More of this on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's get real. She is not going to stop having sex and she is not being coerced. She and her boyfriend are not felons. Take her to planned parenthood, and get the kind of shot that lasts a year or whatever their Dr. recommends for 15 year old. Talk to her and her boyfriend about STDs and ask him to buy condoms or buy them for him, but don't count on him using them. Keep the dialogue open. Don't be judgmental. Tell her its her body and you respect her right to make decisions about it. Sounds like you are doing a good job. Don't let anyone tell you your daughter is either immoral or abnormal. Teen age sex is completely normal for some kids. I raised three daughter all of whom had sex as teenagers and they have all grown up to be respected professionals, good wives and wonderful mothers. You are a good dad. Don't doubt yourself.

+1. Just empower her to make sure she's being respected, respectful, and safe.

[Anonymous]

IUD and condoms, tomorrow

[Anonymous]

No, OP, please do not "allow" it in your home. But unless you work at home, or you find someone to be there, how to prevent it?
When is she seeing him? Just after school?

They say kids are most frequently up to no good M-F between 3-6pm, when they have the house to themselves. (Drink, drugs, sex)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's get real. She is not going to stop having sex and she is not being coerced. She and her boyfriend are not felons. Take her to planned parenthood, and get the kind of shot that lasts a year or whatever their Dr. recommends for 15 year old. Talk to her and her boyfriend about STDs and ask him to buy condoms or buy them for him, but don't count on him using them. Keep the dialogue open. Don't be judgmental. Tell her its her body and you respect her right to make decisions about it. Sounds like you are doing a good job. Don't let anyone tell you your daughter is either immoral or abnormal. Teen age sex is completely normal for some kids. I raised three daughter all of whom had sex as teenagers and they have all grown up to be respected professionals, good wives and wonderful mothers. You are a good dad. Don't doubt yourself.

+1. Just empower her to make sure she's being respected, respectful, and safe.

She's only 15. She is not 18 and headed for college.