In an affair, who "wins"? The wife or the mistress?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wife

Why?

Because she walks with half their assets, at least. Plus the love and respect of their kids, which he usually loses for years when the affair is revealed.

Mistress gets dumped or becomes the hated step mother (not worth it).

+100

[Anonymous]

Nobody wins. What a dumb question. Even if - and it’s generally a big if - the husband leaves the wife for the mistress, so what? Then you’re married to a cheater (to say nothing of how difficult it will be to integrate socially).

L’s all around.

[Anonymous]

Never met an ex-wife of a doctor that regretted the payout.

[Anonymous]

OP- so much of the time the cheating woman is also married.

So you have a betrayed husband and a betrayed wife.
And there are no winners in these situations.

[Anonymous]

DCUM. Because we can all band together and hate the same person. Solidarity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never met an ex-wife of a doctor that regretted the payout.

I’m a doctor and the ex wife of a doctor and what payout.

[Anonymous]

No one wins when a player cheats the game - everyone is cheated out of their “fair” share, doesn’t matter if the size of the compromised portion is the same.

Children included. And the betrothed aren’t always the only ones betrayed. A liar has no loyalty outside of his own.

[Anonymous]

^ or her own.

[Anonymous]

The girlfriend wins. Most of the “other women” I’ve known like the freedom while being the one he treats as special. The mistress isn’t being cheated on - the wife is. The husband never broke his vows to his mistress - he broke them to his wife. The wife still has to watch him clip his toenails, stink up the bathroom, watch him watch TV, etc. The girlfriend gets dinners out and an attentive lover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The girlfriend wins. Most of the “other women” I’ve known like the freedom while being the one he treats as special. The mistress isn’t being cheated on - the wife is. The husband never broke his vows to his mistress - he broke them to his wife. The wife still has to watch him clip his toenails, stink up the bathroom, watch him watch TV, etc. The girlfriend gets dinners out and an attentive lover.

The girlfriend is wasting her life in a dead end relationship instead of finding someone to love her full time.

[Anonymous]

Neither. The cheater profits, the others lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think that no woman wins as both are being played by the man in question, but I read many comments on this forum where the wives are putting down mistresses saying what she has with the cheating husband is not real and she is not important etc.

Isn't the wife the biggest loser? Since its HER husband who is doing HER wrong. He doesn't owe the mistress anything.

Just do what HIllary CLinton does and NEVER divorce, win by making his life miserable and putting on a bigger show than him (outwardly).

[Anonymous]

If it’s discreet, everybody wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The girlfriend wins. Most of the “other women” I’ve known like the freedom while being the one he treats as special. The mistress isn’t being cheated on - the wife is. The husband never broke his vows to his mistress - he broke them to his wife. The wife still has to watch him clip his toenails, stink up the bathroom, watch him watch TV, etc. The girlfriend gets dinners out and an attentive lover.

The girlfriend is wasting her life in a dead end relationship instead of finding someone to love her full time.

The girlfriend is married to someone who doesn't notice her anymore. This AP gives her tons of attention, great sex, tells her she's beautiful, basically gives her what she is missing at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The girlfriend wins. Most of the “other women” I’ve known like the freedom while being the one he treats as special. The mistress isn’t being cheated on - the wife is. The husband never broke his vows to his mistress - he broke them to his wife. The wife still has to watch him clip his toenails, stink up the bathroom, watch him watch TV, etc. The girlfriend gets dinners out and an attentive lover.

The girlfriend is wasting her life in a dead end relationship instead of finding someone to love her full time.

The girlfriend is married to someone who doesn't notice her anymore. This AP gives her tons of attention, great sex, tells her she's beautiful, basically gives her what she is missing at home.

I would think this could only work if she is able to compartmentalize and doesn’t start falling for AP or getting jealous of his wife. I don’t think anyone generally wins but I imagine the winner would be the person who cares the least. If wife doesn’t really care for her husband anymore and is glad to take the money and run or stick it out in the relationship for her own reasons but a AP is obsessed with husband and it drives her crazy that he won’t leave his wife then I imagine wife would be the winner. If wife deeply loves her husband and is completely messed up by the affair and AP doesn’t care for the man much and treats it like a fling then she would come out better off.