Friends who are family until they’re not

[Anonymous]

So for 18 years you all have included each other in every family gathering, and suddenly for the first time they excluded you? Obviously something changed. Do you have different views in masking and/or vaccinating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have very close family friends (adult children and grandparents) and no local family where we live. We have known the family friends for 18 years ( we are 40) and consider them our family here. We spend the Jewish holidays together, attend each other’s kid recitals, etc. Last week, we found out by social media that they all got together to watch a football game from our hometown (we all live away from our home state), and we were not invited. When we mentioned it, my friend said that we have too many kids to be included.

Ouch. I have been seriously burned and have learned a lesson. Blood family will always be tighter than “friends who are family”.

What they said was not nice, but related or not no one should be expected to be included in everything.
And I hate to break it to you, blood relations can also be mean.
Hi

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many kids do you have? If you have 4 and everyone else has 1 or 2 this makes sense. Sorry, that’s the reality of having a big family.

Because OP has 2 extra kids they can’t join? That makes no sense if there are already a bunch of other kids there.

OP never said there were other kids there, alone how many more she has than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even being family doesn’t mean you get invited to everything.

+1. Posting about it on social media is the faux pas here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So only blood relatives got together? Is that correct?

I have close friends who I consider family. This does not mean they never get together with their blood relatives without me.

You were rude to ask why you weren’t invited.

Don’t trash a friendship over this.

This part, what mature grown ups think they have to be included in every dang thing. I have a husband, newsflash, sometimes he does stuff without me.

[Anonymous]

Even families don't invite each other to all activities OP.

[Anonymous]

Can you explain more?

I don't understand why you would have been invited and I don't understand why you are hurt.

Was this a far distance? I assume they stayed with the family there? Wouldn't that mean there wasn't room for you even if they were thinking about it?

[Anonymous]

I mean seriously, what?

The watched a game together. Big deal.

How old are your kids? How old are theirs? Are your kids vaxxed? Are your kids good about social distancing and keeping on masks?

[Anonymous]

Were they the ones hosting/organising it? Maybe the extended family members don't feel as close to your family and would prefer not every event include you.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever had blood relatives over to your house without inviting them over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So for 18 years you all have included each other in every family gathering, and suddenly for the first time they excluded you? Obviously something changed. Do you have different views in masking and/or vaccinating?

I’m curious about this too.

Usually outdoor events is when I invite the people with big families who I would never host for a casual dinner or indoor gatherings. (Sorry OP)

[Anonymous]

This could have been a spur of the moment thing rather than a long planned watch party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many kids do you have? If you have 4 and everyone else has 1 or 2 this makes sense. Sorry, that’s the reality of having a big family.

Because OP has 2 extra kids they can’t join? That makes no sense if there are already a bunch of other kids there.

That's SIX additional people during a pandemic.

Op, are your kids in school in person? How old are they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So only blood relatives got together? Is that correct?

I have close friends who I consider family. This does not mean they never get together with their blood relatives without me.

You were rude to ask why you weren’t invited.

Don’t trash a friendship over this.

Ok but if they truly consider you family why do they still exclude you from blood family events? If someone says you're family then either they are or they aren't..because if they are not being invited on the basis of blood relation then that is saying they really don't view them as family.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the person who said sometimes it's not the number of kids, but how they behave. Do your kids trash the house, spill food everywhere, get their hands all over the food trying to decide which cookie they want, are loud and rambunctious? Some kids are like that--it's not an assault on their character, it's just the way they are, but it also means they may not get as many invites.