Waiting 30+ to have kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you wait, be prepared for fertility struggles. I’m 32 and just had a 2nd tri miscarriage which has been heartbreaking.

That likely would have happened in your 20s. Two unplanned kids for me at 34 and 37 from sex one time in years for each. Instant. I was not trying (and was not happy about it). People with fertility issues in their 30s usually would have it in their 20s. I had a friend who did IVF in her 20s. Often it is not age until you are 40 plus.

Wrong. Studies consistently show that fertility begins to decline significantly after age 33, with a sharper decline after 35. Women in their 20s are far more likely to conceive naturally and avoid fertility issues compared to those in their 30s or beyond. While it’s true that some people experience fertility problems in their 20s, the majority of infertility cases are age-related and become more prevalent as women get older. Suggesting otherwise is irresponsible and spreads dangerous misinformation.

Your anecdotal experience of conceiving easily in your mid-to-late 30s does not reflect the norm and doesn’t negate the science-backed reality of fertility decline with age. Misleading others into believing that fertility struggles in your 30s are no different than in your 20s is harmful, especially to women trying to make informed decisions about their family planning. Stop spreading false information—it does a disservice to those who rely on accurate data to navigate these sensitive issues.

Start reading: the studies you refer to are based on 1700s data. There are so many articles online that 35 fertility cliff is a myth.

[Anonymous]

People with fertility issues in 30s have preexisting fertility problems. It is not all age at all.

[Anonymous]

https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24128176.amp

[Anonymous]

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20240313-the-fertility-myth-most-advice-says-womens-fertility-declines-after-35-the-truth-is-more-complicated

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/apr/10/fertility-cliff-age-35-week-in-patriarchy

https://theconversation.com/hard-evidence-does-fertility-really-drop-off-a-cliff-at-35-29113

https://slate.com/technology/2020/08/fertility-cliff-advanced-maternal-age-outdated.html

[Anonymous]

That is a lot links which distill down to:

35 is not actually a hard cliff, but it is worsening slope on the path down a steepening hill on the path to the valley of total infertility. Not only that, even if you do conceive you still also have to factor in higher risk of miscarriage, birth defects, and maternal health events.

This does not mean it is impossible to conceive after 35. It only means that with each passing year it gets harder to successfully carry a complication
-free pregnancy to term. Perhaps it does not look materially worse from say 29 to 30 or 34 to 35, but the probabilities are clearly worse from 29 to 34 or 30 to 35.

[Anonymous]

Had mine at 34, 35 and 39.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is a lot links which distill down to:

35 is not actually a hard cliff, but it is worsening slope on the path down a steepening hill on the path to the valley of total infertility. Not only that, even if you do jconceive you still also have to factor in higher risk of miscarriage, birth defects, and maternal health events.

This does not mean it is impossible to conceive after 35. It only means that with each passing year it gets harder to successfully carry a complication
-free pregnancy to term. Perhaps it does not look materially worse from say 29 to 30 or 34 to 35, but the probabilities are clearly worse from 29 to 34 or 30 to 35.

No. The decline is very tiny in the 30s. Hardly any difference between 31 and 37. Where it becomes more steep is after 40.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. It makes perfect sense to wait. Use your money and freedom. Get things out of your system that will be hard with kids. Otherwise you will not enjoy them as much.

30 gives you plenty of time to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a lot links which distill down to:

35 is not actually a hard cliff, but it is worsening slope on the path down a steepening hill on the path to the valley of total infertility. Not only that, even if you do jconceive you still also have to factor in higher risk of miscarriage, birth defects, and maternal health events.

This does not mean it is impossible to conceive after 35. It only means that with each passing year it gets harder to successfully carry a complication
-free pregnancy to term. Perhaps it does not look materially worse from say 29 to 30 or 34 to 35, but the probabilities are clearly worse from 29 to 34 or 30 to 35.

No. The decline is very tiny in the 30s. Hardly any difference between 31 and 37. Where it becomes more steep is after 40.

No. From your own links: “It seems that the late 30s are when fertility seems to start falling more rapidly“. And again, that decline is coupled with increases in risk for both birth defects, birth complications and miscarriage. It’s not just about conception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The term Granny - Mommy is hilarious.
Who comes up with this stuff ..

😩😩😩😩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is a lot links which distill down to:

35 is not actually a hard cliff, but it is worsening slope on the path down a steepening hill on the path to the valley of total infertility. Not only that, even if you do jconceive you still also have to factor in higher risk of miscarriage, birth defects, and maternal health events.

This does not mean it is impossible to conceive after 35. It only means that with each passing year it gets harder to successfully carry a complication
-free pregnancy to term. Perhaps it does not look materially worse from say 29 to 30 or 34 to 35, but the probabilities are clearly worse from 29 to 34 or 30 to 35.

No. The decline is very tiny in the 30s. Hardly any difference between 31 and 37. Where it becomes more steep is after 40.

No. From your own links: “It seems that the late 30s are when fertility seems to start falling more rapidly“. And again, that decline is coupled with increases in risk for both birth defects, birth complications and miscarriage. It’s not just about conception.

I have literally seen charts showing only a 2 percent difference between 30s years. I did not go back and find every single article I have ever read. The decline between years in thirties is incremental. That still means "falling more rapidly" compared to 20s, but it does not get steep until after 40.

[Anonymous]

My mom's youngest sibling was born the same year as her (my mom's) oldest sister's first child. So, I have an aunt and a cousin who are the same age!!! I'd have to check, but I'm pretty sure my grandmother was in her late 30s when she had her youngest, and in her late teens when she had her first. She had 10 in total! Everyone on my mom's side of the family has had multiple children without problems, and many have oops babies. The granny mommy thing is definitely real!

I conceived within one month of stopping birth control pills at age 38. We were newlyweds and not yet intentionally trying to get pregnant, and because of long distance travel (separately) in the first months of our marriage, we only had sex a handful of times. But sure enough, I got pregnant in the very first weeks of getting married.

After that, I was extremely careful about birth control since I figured that I was super fertile, just like the rest of my large extended family, given how easily I got pregnant. I had an IUD (Mirena) inserted right away. Thank goodness I was super careful about birth control for all those years before I got married.

Obviously, not everyone is as fertile as the women in my family. But women in their late 30s and beyond need to be very careful about birth control if they don't want to have more kids.

[Anonymous]

I just want to point out two things about those studies.

1) The numbers about drops in fertility each year are AVERAGES across entire populations. Individual women's fertility will drop at individual rates. For Cindy, her fertility might drop each year by exactly 0.5% each year. For Sally, her fertility might drop by exactly 3% each year from 30 to 40. Meanwhile, for Laura, her fertility might plummet between age 30 and 31 by 5%. So, drops will vary in their degree and in their timing. Marcia can't look at those average numbers and draw much useful info from them other than the very general fact that the overall trend is for her fertility to decrease over time.

2) Different individuals have different levels of fertility at age 30. One 30-year-old woman might have a 4.5/5 chance of getting pregnant within 6 months at age 30 while another has only a 4/50 chance. Those fertility drops from age 30 to 40 won't matter nearly as much to the first woman.